Update - 2 Months in Spokane
Hey boys. I’m officially in Seattle. Just got back from a 3 day silent meditation retreat on the Olympic coast in the rainforest. It was a fantastic experience. I wouldn’t say I had any mind blowing insights, but rather just deepened my meditation practice and sat in a state of inner peace for most of the weekend. The Dharma talks were particularly helpful about bringing back the practicality of buddhism for me. Right now, everything seems to bother me so much less. Anyways, as promised, here’s my update from my last city.
What I Said I Was Going to Do
To start, here’s a recap of what I thought I was going to accomplish, and what actually happened.
- Visiting my mom, closing open loops - Saw her three times. Once for her birthday. It’s hard to visit her in her mental state. But I did my best. I did let her know I won’t be having children, which of course was hard for her because she wants to be a grandmother.
- Visiting my dad, closing open loops - I stuck to my word and visited my father at least once a week. We took a camping trip together and got tattoos together. This was probably the most rewarding part of this leg of the trip. Our relationship is better than any other time in my life. What changed it for me was seeing he is making an effort to be a better man; which, those are the type of men I want around me. He also respected as my own man the entire time. I will continue to nurture this.
- Attending a wedding of one of the men in my men’s group - It was a beautiful wedding. It made me miss some of the deep romanticism of having a ride or die girl. Yet, I was able to appreciate its beauty and still not desire it (at least in that way).
- Visiting couple guys in my men’s group, deepening our connection - This was also great. I saw each one individually a few times, and then took a camping trip with them and their ladies and kiddos. Very fulfilling.
- Visiting old friends, closing open loops - Visited my best friend from when I was younger. It was cool to see how happy he was being a dad. Again, I could appreciate it’s beauty, and still confidently say I didn’t want that.
- Probably setting up vasectomy for when I visit Seattle - Didn’t do. Will setup for back in Austin.
- Practicing Shibari. - Didn’t do. Just didn’t make time for it among the other things.
- Running my munch - Did do. I’ve established my munch in another city and have someone continuing to run it after I’ve left. I was not there long enough to reap the long term benefits, but they were starting to manifest themselves just like in Austin. We’ll see what comes of this when I’ve got a network of these going.
- Running the professional meetup - Tried doing. To small of a city and I’ve just not found the right entry gate for this to make it a success. I’m trying to do it for nonprofits. I think its going to take more time than I’m able to in a few months. Will try again once back in Austin.
- Try and setup some shoots - Models are flakier than dates. @MILFandCookies knows. Any shoot I tried to setup fell through.
Directions & Goals
During my time in Spokane I had some tax and logistical issues come up around work. Long story short, I can’t be bouncing around as much. I was pushed to choose two states that I would want to be working in. I mentioned before that I was looking for a semblance of a “home”. Well between the benefits of TX & WA including weather (depending on time of year), geography, relationships, network, and economics, those two combined make me pretty content. So my plan is to return to Austin after Seattle and then snow bird back and forth every six months. TX & WA will serve as home base and I’ll take an excursion every so often to other places, but won’t be doing the multiple month stints in those places. I mentioned a PhD before, and they may pull me somewhere else for a some years, but right now these feel like home.
This plan fits better with my other goals with relationships, business, and community which require you to be in a place long enough to see those compounds. Don’t get me wrong, the freedom of traveling is great, but it comes at a cost. I’d prefer to have relative freedom over absolute freedom if it means having deeper relationships and building larger communities.
I’ll still keep the van and probably will just house hop for a while doing house sits. I’m doing some here in Seattle and it seems a great way to get to stay in huge houses and not pay rent.
Couple other brief mentions: I’m in the middle of working with lawyers to get official 501c3 status with the government for the nonprofit. Also decided to start doing sex & relationship coaching as well as further establishing the brand I’m building in the kink community. You’ll see some articles from time to time I’ll drop here from that like the recent Tantra article.
Girls
Saw a couple girls consistently while there. Went on a couple more dates with others. One I was not into, so I didn’t pull or pursue further. Second I was into and logistics got fucked between schedules, me going to new york, her on her period, and where to have sex. Honestly, sex in the van is not optimal or glamorous. I did it, but it's much better in a room. Lol. So this is pushing me to want to do the house sitting thing here. The girls I saw there were cool, but not any long term potential beyond that. So I just enjoyed my time with them and appreciated it for what it was.
Was a little bummed I was leaving right as my munch was starting to really pick up. Had a hot OF girl come to one that I ended matching with on Hinge too. Unfortunately I was too busy with weekend trips and dealing with my solar generator taking a shit and waiting for a replacement. Also had a hot petite redhead come to my last one who DM’ed me afterwards and I had to deliver the bad news I was leaving in a couple days.
I also had a phone call with Bumble Girl. We set plans for her to visit Seattle for a couple weeks in Sept. I look forward to seeing her and having a little romance. She’s planning to be a nomad in South America for a year and then not sure where she’ll be going; so unfortunately I won’t get to deepen that relationship when I return to Austin. So I’ll enjoy it for what it is.
I’ve reflected on my experiment of waiting for the second date to pull and avoiding ONS. I think it was enough to help me get a better understanding of what states of feeling I have with a girl when on a date, and discern if it's sex merely for consumption or if I’d want to build a connection. I did start to get annoyed with my own rule, because for one of the dates I went on I knew immediately I wanted to have sex and keep seeing her. I feel confident I will be able to discern between the two and can return to one date.
Adventures in Spokane
A lot of time was spent just visiting people in their homes or at a park or something. But I did a few cool trips:
- Visited and hiked Kootenai Falls
- Explored Gardner Cave, WA largest limestone cave
- Camped at the beautiful lake at Boundary Dam
- Went to Hoopfest, the world's largest 3 on 3 basketball tournament (one of 3 claims to fame for our city)
- Took a small side quest to the other side of the country - NYC
Also got a couple new tattoos - the Intelligence perk and the Lady Killer perk from Fallout.
Tips on Spokane
I’ll spare the tips on Spokane, because you’re not visiting there anytime soon. You’d be surprised though (everyone is) Spokane is a great small city and is the hidden gem of Eastern WA.
I did daygame one day at our night market in Kendall Yards. It's full of young professionals and recent graduates from one of many universities or colleges in the area. Worth it.
What’s Next?
On the agenda:
- Meditation retreat (already did)
- Men’s group retreat
- Deepening my relationship with one the other men’s group guys here in Seattle
- Trying out house hopping
- Setting up another munch
- Exploring the scene here thoroughly. From what I can tell, it’s pretty vibrant. I’ve already put a couple events on the calendar for an erotic photography group where photographers and models mingle and hang out for a few hours shooting erotic photos. The OF girl from Spokane also told me the parties here are pretty good and the people are beautiful. We’ll see.
- Couple weeks of adventures with Bumble Girl
- Explore a lot of Western WA. I never really did that when I was younger so there is a lot to see. Might try to hike Mt Rainier
- Get in touch with Natedawg and visit his meetup.
- Daygame. City is big and active enough that I can do this more.
- New city, new ladies.
Much love, gents.