GN's Progress Log - Self-Love Arc: 1 Week of HingeX Results, and Need Texting Advice

6/10

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2421
Protein: 113g
Gym: 0/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: Yes


6/11

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2401
Protein: 131g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: Yes

6/12

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2209
Protein: 124g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: No
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: No
No Fap: Yes

6/13

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2542
Protein: 130g
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: Yes

6/14

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2243
Protein: 122g
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: Yes

6/15

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2666
Protein: 140g
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: No

6/16

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2768
Protein: 146g
Gym: 3/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: No

6/17

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2490
Protein: 139g
Gym: 0/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: Yes

6/18

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2774
Protein: 130g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: No
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: No
No Fap: No

6/19

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3035
Protein: 152g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: No
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: No

6/20

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3114
Protein: 174g
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: Yes

Notes:

Haven't updated my log in a little bit, mostly due to laziness. Ive been getting back into the gym 3 times a week again, taking creatine + Lcitrulline, and eating more protein. I think in that regard I have returned to how I was before I had my surgery and maybe even increased weight on some exercises. Like my squat I do 145 for reps now. I seem to be struggling on bench press again though.

For my first week back on the apps I spent a lot of time stressing on whether or not I was shadowbanned on Hinge because I was logged out for a month. The app still functioned like normal for me but I just wasn’t getting any matches or incoming likes. I did eventually get one match in the first week proving that I was not shadowbanned.

Second week though I got absolutely nothing. The app still functions like normal. No repeating profiles and I can switch out pics/prompts just fine. I just feel like ass not getting any matches. I was doing fine in my uni city but here in SF do women just not like me?

There has to be something massively wrong with my profile. I know Im not the best looking guy but usually my quality of matches is good. Do I want better? Yes but that ofc will take effort.

Imo it could be because:
-Headshot is too tryhard/hardstyle and most women don’t like that
-Last two pics are way worse than my first two and it turns women off
-Prompts seem douchey (I did update them after I took these screenshots)
-haven’t used boosts or bought premium
-Hinge is dead here (highly doubt this)
-The girls im hitting like on are too high SMV

I’ve been keeping a lot of this to myself for a while cuz most people I know think dating apps are dumb. I haven’t been doing inner work much this week which is funny as these are the times I should be doing more, rather than less. I relapsed to porn again and I’m having a hard time going back to Nofap. Some part of me wants to give up until I get my own place but giving up doesn’t really suit me so I want to figure out what exactly is wrong.

SF is highly competitive as far as I know. Im not a fan of 3, why would you have coffee to go in a backyard (at least thats what it looks like). In 4 your posing looks feminine, especially leg placement. So yeah its not great. Also I have personally noticed that it takes while for Hinge to pick up after you switch locations for some reason, could be wrong on that though.

Perseus said:

SF is highly competitive as far as I know. Im not a fan of 3, why would you have coffee to go in a backyard (at least thats what it looks like). In 4 your posing looks feminine, especially leg placement. So yeah its not great. Also I have personally noticed that it takes while for Hinge to pick up after you switch locations for some reason, could be wrong on that though.

Click to expand...

I agree with you on photo 4, the posture looks feminine. @Vic I think your profile overall lacks of energy and/or dynamism. All your photos show you in very calm situations. You can be a very calm guy but one or two photos with your friends or in a party could had more of this energy lacking.

You are absolutely forbidden to feel like an ass for not having any matches. You can be a great guy and just have a profile that doesn't meet the requirements to have success on dating apps. Don't get fooled by this system, it doesn't represent your true value.

SF is the hardest city for apps in the entire country. You are getting about what I would expect for unpaid Hinge.

You could pay for Hinge premium and see how it goes (I’ve paid before). But I wouldn’t expect too many results from your current profile. Ngl, it’s lackluster. You’re good-looking, but that’s it. Think of it from a girl’s perspective. What does she see? “Oh a nice-looking guy who likes coffee and animals. Does be have friends? Is he social? Has he traveled? Does he workout? Is he wealthy. No. Okay.” What does she want to see? “Ooo a nice-looking guy with cool friends? He travels? He likes to party? But he also likes animals and to workout? He hangs out in expensive places? He’s ripped and likes the beach? He looks fun!”

6/21

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3516
Protein: 173g
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: Yes

6/22

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3089
Protein: 143g
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: No

6/23

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2960
Protein: 154g
Gym: 3/3
Meditation: No
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
No Fap: No

Notes:

Rereading my last post I definitely had a running high of panicky emotions when I wrote that. I needed to just chill the fuck out, its not the end of the world because my profile isn't doing that great. Ill have to heavily focus on making the next two pictures really good. Im going to Boston first week of July with my family so I can ask my brother to take some pics with my DSLR when I find cool spots. I thought of a close-by spot that I thought would be good but when I went to scope it out it didn't look that great at all and I also figure there needs to be a lot of people around if I want to achieve a sort of "high status" vibe to the picture.

Speaking of Boston, I went shopping at a local mall on Friday and got a bunch of new clothes for the trip. Two tops, three t-shirts, and a replacement pair of black jeans. My dad also came back from a business trip and got me this new JPG fragrance which smells really good. I also exchanged my gold chain for a longer and slighly thicker one which I think looks a lot better on me.

All being said I still think the Bay Area is a shit place to date due to how badly skewed the gender ratios are. Also women seem to have higher standards here despite being generally worse quality. Didn't think I would be saying this but I miss Columbus. The quality of women there was pretty solid and they were generally pretty pleasant and feminine. I guess it also helps I had very good logistics there with a close-by boba or coffee shops, my own place (or at least room), and abundant access to women. Here I have to drive a lot if I want to do anything. It just seems like too much of a hassle especially when you take into account the chance of a girl flaking, catfishing, and or having a shit personality.

Someone on the forums said (might have been Dom, Pancake, or Manga) said if you have shitty logistics, your main objective should be to fix them. I agree with that statement. Having bad logistics is pretty demotivating.

Ill be able to move *hopefully* in the next 6 months by the start of 2025. Im applying to 10 schools for my masters, three of which are closeby. My hope is that I get into one of the other 7. Only issue is if I do get into any of the 3 close-by ones my parents might try really hard to convince me to stay here and become a commuter student. Don't get me wrong I love my family but having my own spot will make my life a hell of a lot easier. Plus living far from home in college helped me a lot in becoming a more responsible individual. The only way I will go to one of the 3 nearby schools is if all other 7 reject me or I somehow get a gf who is based here in the Bay and get into one of those 3 schools.

My shadowing starts July 1st. To get around that whole convincing thing, Ill have to do my best to get enough approval from my supervisors and the family friend who got me the gig. Then use it to land a job and save enough money to move from that job. In the meantime Ill be working on courses and my other apps, which is what i have been doing anyways. I can't fully bank on this so once I get back from Boston Ill apply to jobs on Linkedin and Indeed even if it feels hopeless.

Oh and almost forgot to update the driving thing. I think I am fine on the highway, but I haven't started driving on it yet. Why? Mainly cuz I am overwhelmed by the thought of using a map and trying to drive at the same time. I have a setup now though so Ill just try driving my brother and I to our favorite boba spot later this week as practice. If I can crack it without much issue Ill be okay.

Vic said:

All being said I still think the Bay Area is a shit place to date due to how badly skewed the gender ratios are.

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check out santana row and the westfield across the street over in san jose. VERY hot girls and i had driven a girl home directly from an instadate at that mall.

also san jose state university has a lot of cute girls

colgate / bulldog said:

check out santana row and the westfield across the street over in san jose. VERY hot girls and i had driven a girl home directly from an instadate at that mall.

also san jose state university has a lot of cute girls

Click to expand...

I might have to set my location to SJ then. I heard SJ has a worse gender ratio than SF tho but maybe mmmv.

But I have seen baddies at those locations. Sounds like a good spot to cold approach so that'll do.

6/24
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2630
Protein: 113g
Gym: 0/3
Meditation: No
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

6/25
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3073
Protein: 125g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

6/26
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2958
Protein: 152g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

6/27
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2601
Protein: 143
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: No
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

6/28
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2884
Protein: 149
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: No

6/29
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2777
Protein: 148
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

6/30
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3337
Protein: 172
Gym: 3/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

Notes:
Didn't track July 1st to now daily actions due to being on vacation but I am back now so I will be resuming that. My Boston trip with my family was really fucking fun. It's an awesome city with vibrant culture and history. The women there are also really attractive though idk how many were tourists, but I saw baddies on every corner. Might come back one day to game and also do more solo exploring. I got a bunch of photos for my dating profiles too. I replaced two of my shit Hinge photos with three new ones I took in various locations around Massachusetts to show that I do cool shit lol. I attached the updated profile as well as updated prompts. Lmk what you guys think

Also dog photo is sort of a placeholder since I’m wearing the same shirt in the last pic. I also want to fix it to include more of my dog in the picture.

I took the feedback of getting better backgrounds (like at least one picture with an urban setting), trying to look less feminine/soft, and being more dynamic. Though dynamism could be improved with a social photo

I also took my car on the highway by myself to the boba shop like I said. Turns out I don't think it was all that bad. Yesterday even I went like 45 minutes to my internship at Stanford. again the highway isn't hard. If anything though finding parking in that goddamned university was a nightmare, not to mention expensive. I got super late because of how hard it was to find parking. Even so, now it seems driving is no longer an issue for me. That's a goal accomplished.

My shadowing gig started on the 1st. I took the train to get to the hospital and it was a little chaotic because it's been ages since I last rode the train to get somewhere. I got there though. The chief of anesthesiologist seems to be who I mainly report to but I just bounce around cases with various CRNAs and sometimes anesthesiologists. I've only been there 3 days and I've been really enjoying it. Everyone's so positive and supportive. I feel super excited to advance my career. I want to be a CRNA and so far from what I've seen the job has the right amount of intensity to relaxation period ratio for me to see myself doing this for a long time. Being in the OR is a crazy experience though, I've seen a few types of cases and it's interesting seeing how everyone works together. I also get an up close view of the surgeries. Craziest one I saw was a facial feminization surgery on a trans woman the docs were almost like peeling off the skin and shaving some bone in order to feminize that persons face.

In any case even if this doesn't lead to a job, I can probably still get a good letter of rec from the chief of anesthesiology or another CRNA which will be great tools in my arsenal for when I apply to CRNA programs in the future. But that's father off, I also had one school's' application due on the 1st which I already submitted. Here on out there's gonna be a few due each month so that's gonna be something I'm always working on.

You look angry in that last photo.

The white shirt one is good.

The all black outfit looks a bit posed/unnatural (like why would someone be taking photos of you in that location/pose).?

pancakemouse said:

You look angry in that last photo.

Click to expand...

Good to know, I had a hunch it was too tense. Attached a fix

pancakemouse said:

The all black outfit looks a bit posed/unnatural (like why would someone be taking photos of you in that location/pose).?

Click to expand...

You mean the walking one? I just tried to get a full body shot and replicate one of the pics I saw in the KYIL tinder inspo guide (attached the two I referenced)

The problem is that those guys are models with super professional photographers and cameras and... you aren't. So you just look like an AliExpress version of them.

pancakemouse said:

The problem is that those guys are models with super professional photographers and cameras and... you aren't. So you just look like an AliExpress version of them.

Click to expand...

Fair point, I’ll try to get a better pic down the line. So far off my own judgement l think its better than the two other pictures I had before

7/29:

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2958
Protein: 142g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

7/30:

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3069
Protein: 173
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

7/31:

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3226
Protein: 132g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

8/1:

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2987
Protein: 149g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

8/2:

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2451
Protein: 108g
Gym: 1/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

8/3:

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2635
Protein: 152g
Gym: 2/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

8/4:

Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2043
Protein: 89g
Gym: 3/3
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes

Notes:

I haven't posted in nearly a month. I was planning to but honestly each week I felt like I was gonna just go on a self-pity rant here since I am still struggling with getting matches. I was getting bitter and just saying shitty things about women that I don't usually think. Worse yet I just wasn't consistent with my habits. I wasn't logging calories, journaling, meditating, or going outside as much and that definitely made it more difficult to deal with my own thoughts. I realized that this is just a negative feedback cycle so this week though I swore to myself to be consistent no matter what and it did help me feel better about myself. It wasn't total shit though, I spent a lot of July shadowing nurses/CRNAs/Anesthesiologists in the OR at a big hospital branch in the Bay. I want to become a CRNA and from what I observed I can defo see myself working that job for a long time. I filled out and submitted 4 more applications to ABSN/MEMSN programs this month and have another 5 for the coming month to do.

I also signed up for a Stanford University program the past week where I helped out with older students with learning disabilities trying to get ready for real world stuff like getting a job/going to college. Many other students signed up as well but since I was on the team that was testing an AI tool for students with learning disabilities, I had a spot saved so all I had to do was just say yes or no. There were a lot of other helpers there too around my age so I was getting plenty of social interaction and I was helping other people out so I felt like I had purpose. I was also getting paid 100$ each day I helped out so I helped out all 4 days of the program. A lot of the volunteer girls had bfs so obv off limits. There was this one asian girl I overlooked initially, but on the last day she walked up to me and this other guy during a breaktime and we were talking. I found her quite cute and she seemed nice. I got her number and set up a date this Wednesday. I can be so small minded at times. Theres more to life than how many matches I can get on dating apps.

I did have a date though midway this month with this pretty cute and fit indian girl who I went to high school with. She seemed sweet and we met at this boba shop near my house. She said something before the date like right before I pulled up (literally 5 minutes before over text) about how she has some family thing after. I was like ok whatever I should have at least an hour for the date. Since I hadn't been on a date in a while I was willing to compromise some details. I met the girl and I basically do my usual beginning date comfort stuff. However, I didn't check when the boba place closed and our date was at 6:30, but the place closed at 7. The employees kicked us out at 7 so we walk out but right after she tells me she has to go to her family thing. Date was overall far too short to write a meaningful log post about.

After she left I went back to my car and I was fucking PISSED. I felt really disrespected like I wasn't worth her time and I just drove off to get some junk food then I went home and watched porn. Next day I reflected on how I reacted and just felt pathetic and realized I have handled worse way better. I literally had a chick act all lovey dovey and send me a picture of her tits before we scheduled our date only to flake. What did I do to deal with it? I went to the gym. I was tryna figure out maybe she just didn't like my vibe or maybe she is just one of those girls who will end a date fast if she thinks a guy isn't her type. Maybe its not personal. I did message her afterwards with a feeler text and I had the intention of calling her out on our first date being really short in the next text (I didn't know how to call it out initially w/o sounding butthurt), but she didn't respond to my first message and she was still posting on insta/her story. Gave me all I needed to know, she doesn't gaf, onto the next.

But for next time no matter what if a girl says she has something after the date should I ask when exactly she needs to leave? And if its like <1-1.5 hours after the start of the date should I just say lets reschedule?

One piece of good news though is the team I intern for at Stanford sent all the interns a 500$ stipend for the AI testing on top of my 400$ stipend I will get later for the program help which was fucking awesome. I put half in my savings and half for whatever else I need. I finally have some money to spend on dating apps and I can also go get my ears pierced now. Should help give me more edge. I set an appointment for next Friday since thats the earliest availability the shop has. One of my family friends who is also brown got his ears pierced (studs) and he looks way cooler now, so my decision is becoming more set in stone. I think I will get earrings instead though. My brother got his ears pierced some time back and has earrings, I prefer his look.

On the topic of the dating apps, atp I need to swallow my pride and just pay for the apps. I think I sound like a whiny bitch being like "but I never had to pay to get matches when I was in uni" when I compare my results here vs there. I tried bumping my height to 6ft and adding the fact I work for Stanford (for status or some shit), but it didn't really do anything. Maybe got like 1-2 more Hinge matches but thats it. I was also just waiting for this check to hit. Now that it has hit I just want to be sure of one thing.

I have a paypal debit card and I haven't paid for Hinge/Tinder before my ban. I attached that card to the new apple ID I downloaded Hinge from post-ban. My only concern with paying is that my banned real name and banned phone number is still attached to my Paypal account so Hinge will recognize that and ban me again. On the billing address part when I entered my card in though I put in a fake name, new phone number on my new account, and my actual address. Another point to reiterate: I have never paid for Hinge or Tinder prior to my ban.

Can I just use my Paypal debit right away to buy boosts/premium? Or should I change the phone number and name on my paypal account? I don't completely know what data Hinge/Tinder have access to but I don't want to get banned again.

Vic said:

I can be so small minded at times. Theres more to life than how many matches I ca

Click to expand...

You’re learning, stop being so hard on yourself. You now can see you can get dates from non-online routes, have fun with her!

Vic said:

But for next time no matter what if a girl says she has something after the date should I ask when exactly she needs to leave? And if its like <1-1.5 hours after the start of the date should I just say lets reschedule?

Click to expand...

Idk about this trying to pin them down exactly on leaving time - something to consider is that a % of girls will make up that they’ve got something on afterwards, just so that they’ve got a safe excuse to get away if they go on a date and getting unsafe . (Not saying that your girl was, just that you may screen out more in future by trying to be “specific”).

How about just move your dates slightly later - like I meet all mine about 8/8.30 and v rarely anyone has stuff after that. And nervous women know they have the excuse of “I’m tired” if they wanna go home and it’s later.

Vic said:

I realized that this is just a negative feedback cycle so this week though I swore to myself to be consistent no matter what and it did help me feel better about myself

Click to expand...

More learning about yourself, like this is a great realisation and it’s a lot more powerful when you realise it yourself! Also, all your medical stuff sounds cool af.

Vic said:

After she left I went back to my car and I was fucking PISSED. I felt really disrespected like I wasn't worth her time and I just drove off to get some junk food then I went home and watched porn. Next day I reflected on how I reacted and just felt pathetic and realized I have handled worse way better. I literally had a chick act all lovey dovey and send me a picture of her tits before we scheduled our date only to flake. What did I do to deal with it? I went to the gym. I was tryna figure out maybe she just didn't like my vibe or maybe she is just one of those girls who will end a date fast if she thinks a guy isn't her type. Maybe its not personal. I did message her afterwards with a feeler text and I had the intention of calling her out on our first date being really short in the next text (I didn't know how to call it out initially w/o sounding butthurt), but she didn't respond to my first message and she was still posting on insta/her story. Gave me all I needed to know, she doesn't gaf, onto the next.

But for next time no matter what if a girl says she has something after the date should I ask when exactly she needs to leave? And if its like <1-1.5 hours after the start of the date should I just say lets reschedule?

Click to expand...

My friend, you need to chill. Saying that with all the best intentions in the world. Flaking has never been so common, flirt-and-gone behavior is widespread amongst girls, if you can't find a way to be cool with it modern dating will eat you alive, you'll grow into a bitter and hateful incel and that'll just drive you deeper into loneliness.

You gotta learn to be detached. Take what comes from girls the same way you'd take what comes from the weather. It's good? Great, you can enjoy it. It's bad? Well that sucks, but it's useless being angry at the sky, you're better off just moving on and working around it. Great masculine quality #1: be a rock, let the girls be the sea around you, you're unaffected whichever way they move.

Turn the perspective of your efforts towards yourself, rather than her. Don't plan dates for her enjoyment, plan a good time for yourself, and if she happens to tag along make sure she enjoys the ride too. That will save you from the bitterness of "I put so much effort into it, gave so much value, and she didn't give me anything in return." Anything she gives is cherry on top.

That also means you don't rely on girls too much. There'll always be a chance of rain, so if you're planning an outing at the beach, think of what you gonna do if it starts pouring. Weave dates into your life, be flexible. A girl wanna meet for just an hour? Tell her to meet you at a Starbucks, work on your laptop before she comes, keep working if she doesn't show up. Waiting for a girl at a bar and she doesn't show up? Switch gears, now you're on for nightgame.

Always be civil, never be angry, never be bitter. Great masculine quality #2, girls really love that. A girl flirts with you like crazy but when you try to kiss her she says she's not ready? Laugh about it and how cute her shyness is. A girl is 30 min late for a date and texting "I'll be here in 15 min"? Reply politely "Hey, I got a rule of not waiting longer than 30 min so it's just not happening tonight. Happy to meet another time though, lmk" You have everything to lose by bitterly calling a girl out.

Antonio44 said:

You’re learning, stop being so hard on yourself. You now can see you can get dates from non-online routes, have fun with her!



Idk about this trying to pin them down exactly on leaving time - something to consider is that a % of girls will make up that they’ve got something on afterwards, just so that they’ve got a safe excuse to get away if they go on a date and getting unsafe . (Not saying that your girl was, just that you may screen out more in future by trying to be “specific”).

How about just move your dates slightly later - like I meet all mine about 8/8.30 and v rarely anyone has stuff after that. And nervous women know they have the excuse of “I’m tired” if they wanna go home and it’s later.




More learning about yourself, like this is a great realisation and it’s a lot more powerful when you realise it yourself! Also, all your medical stuff sounds cool af.

Click to expand...

I can schedule them later, I think I have just heard a lot of girls say stuff about how they don't feel as safe with nighttime dates but I can still ask. Do a lot of women really feel that way?

Vic said:

And if its like <1-1.5 hours after the start of the date should I just say lets reschedule?

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IMO you should take every shot you can. Not meeting a girl because it’s only an hour date acceptable if you have something else important on but otherwise it’s still an opportunity. How much can you connect in an hour? How much can you escalate in an hour?

Vic said:

I think I have just heard a lot of girls say stuff about how they don't feel as safe with nighttime dates but I can still ask. Do a lot of women really feel that way?

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Overthinking. Who cares if they do, you need to figure out if they feel that way with you