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My Coaching Notes From The World's Best Masculinity Coach, Dante (2024)

In this thread, I will be releasing the notes I take from my sessions from my mentor in masculinity, game and relationships, Dante.

Enjoy.

Dante Coaching Session 1 - "You're Speaking Like a Pimp, but You're Not One" [Sunday 1st Sept]​

I arrived back in NYC on Saturday, 31st, after six months in Mexico. Six months of beaches, self-reflection, and figuring out how to scale my accountability & performance coaching business while soaking in the tropical vibes. Life there was good—almost too good. You know, the kind of good where you start wondering if you're dodging real-life responsibilities by pretending to be a “spiritual nomad.” But eventually, I had to come back and face what I had left unfinished.

Me. And my journey with masculiniuty, relationships, and women.

The first session with Dante was about as subtle as a freight train.

The first thing he asked when I walked in was, “How much do you weigh now?”

“212 pounds,” I said, up from 187 pounds the same time last year.

Before I knew what was happening, I was 12 feet in the air, being hoisted around Union Square by the lion of masculinity himself, Coach Dante.

Yeah, that’s one hell of a way to start a session.

Session One: Facing the Incongruence

Once we got down to business, Dante wasted no time calling me out.

“You’re speaking like a pimp, but you’re not one,” he said bluntly.

At first, I thought it was a joke, but he was dead serious. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

I had months following my first bootcamp under Pancake & Dante, developing this “game persona,” this way of being that I thought was attractive—but deep down, it wasn’t me. It was an act. The problem was, women could feel it. They could sense the incongruence, and it came across in their body language—the guarded, closed-off responses that I kept getting.

They weren’t reacting to what I was saying; they were reacting to the inconsistency between who I was trying to be and who I actually was.

Dante drilled into me that authenticity is where real attraction happens. Women aren’t looking for some slick guy with a rehearsed routine—they want someone real, grounded, and confident. A man with a core.

And the thing is, I’ve been around long enough to see this play out. I’ve made it happen from time to time, and I’m aware enough to know what’s holding me back. But knowing and doing are two different things.

The Body Language Breakdown

One of the biggest killers of my attraction? My body language. Dante was quick to point out that my hand gestures, my mannerisms—they were giving off the wrong signals. These unconscious habits were showing that I was nervous, ungrounded, and not fully present.

We do these things to dissipate negative emotions and protect ourselves. It’s a defense mechanism, and I had turned it into a habit without even realizing it. Dante made it clear that if I didn’t break this, I was going to keep sabotaging my interactions.

In classic Dante fashion, he didn’t just tell me—I got to witness it firsthand. He stepped into one of my sets, and within minutes, he elevated the energy and vibe by a factor of ten. The girl, who had been mildly interested in talking to me, instantly switched over to him. It was like watching a magic trick, except it wasn’t magic—it was the effect of being a man with a solid core.

That’s the raw reality. It’s open season out here, and if you can’t stimulate her emotions and ground yourself in who you are, you’ll be left living with uncertainty, without control over your destiny.

Hard Sets and Harder Lessons

We spent the rest of the session working on breaking these negative habits. Dante kept pushing me into slightly harder sets, well outside of my market, to see if I could generate enough strength to get them to stop and talk. And I managed to do it, but not without effort. Every interaction was a reminder of the work I still had ahead of me.

Key Lessons from the Session:
  • Congruency: "You’re speaking like a pimp, but you're not one. They’re looking at you and thinking, ‘I know this isn’t you.’” I was putting on a persona that didn’t match who I really am, and it was obvious to everyone except me.
  • Body Language and Hand Gestures: These unconscious patterns were giveaways of my nervousness, the remnants of the persona I had created. They had to go.
  • Presence: For a 6’6” guy, my presence wasn’t where it needed to be. I wasn’t fully in the moment, and that lack of grounding was sabotaging my interactions.
  • Tonality: My voice wasn’t deep enough, and I wasn’t projecting it. A solid core isn’t just about what you say—it’s how you say it.
The Work Ahead

By the end of the session, it was clear that I had made progress since last year, but there was still a lot of work to do. I left feeling both humbled and motivated, knowing that if I wanted to take control of my destiny—both in my relationships and in life—I needed to strip away the act and become the man I was meant to be. No more personas, no more masks. Just raw, unapologetic authenticity.

-MAC
 
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Field Report: Dante Coaching Session 2 - “Battling, Insta-Dates, and Blowing Her Back Out”​

Saturday, September 7th, was just another day on the grind. Since my last session with Dante, I had been chipping away at my skills on the streets, getting sets in every day with my wings—J, R, CWF, and even Coach Lean on one occasion.

I’d been working hard on presence, creating attraction, and breaking the habits Dante had pointed out last time: the incongruent game persona, the nervous body language, and the lack of grounding. The sets were improving. I had a few numbers, one solid, but also chose to ghost a female dating coach (she had too many followers for me to risk appearing on her reels at this stage in my journey—no thanks).

So, we start the session.

Right off the bat, Dante could tell. My opens were a lot stronger. More masculine. More intent. The change was clear, and I was feeling it too.

Set One: Battling for Presence

Early into the session, I catch myself letting a set go too easily. Right then, it’s a powerful reminder: always be prepared to fight. Masculinity is about presence, about staying grounded in who you are and what you want. We’re here to ingrain these principles until they become second nature.

Dante pushed me into a few more sets.

The first real one of the day? A short, pretty black girl. I stop her, and the conversation starts flowing. We’re going back and forth—good vibes. She lets me know she has a boyfriend, and even though I try to battle it (while making her laugh), she doesn’t exchange. No big deal. This wasn’t about getting her number. It was about practicing principles. Training myself to stay assertive and sharpen my self-image.

I did a few more sets after that. Nothing major to write home about.

Set Two: The Asian Stunner with Unbelievable Frame

Then came the set that threw me for a loop—an absolutely stunning Asian woman. This girl gave me more frame than any woman has ever given me in my life. I stopped her with precision, and it felt like I had created “that guy evergy” that Dante is always talking about, and for a few minutes, it was like the world melted away. The energy was crazy. I was edging closer, she was letting me touch her, and we were vibing at a level that felt like pure magic.

But... she had a boyfriend too. And even though I battled it, she made it clear she couldn’t exchange.

Still, that set was validation for me.

I hadn’t gotten the number, but I had created something powerful. That frame? That bubble? How engaged she was? Magic. It was proof that I could pull this off, if I keep improving.

Dante gave me props—my stops were strong, the energy was right, and I was moving like a man. I was battling, doing what needed to be done.

Set Three: The Insta-Date with the Finance Pro

Then came the final set: a smoking hot black girl. She gave me almost as much frame as the Asian chick. Our conversation was fun, vibey, and there was chemistry. I didn’t think twice—I took her hand and led her off for an insta-date at a nearby coffee shop.

I worked the interaction like I was supposed to, staying present, practicing the principles. But as we talked, it became clear—she was the hard-charging, ambitious finance type. And if I’m being honest, that’s just not what I’m looking for. I’m a hard-working entrepreneur. I grind all day, and I need sweet, wholesome, feminine energy in my life to balance that out. I don’t want to date someone whose energy mirrors mine—I need the opposite to unwind and just be a man, not just a business owner.

Still, it was a great interaction, even though logistically, there wasn’t a pull—she had to get to a dinner. We enjoyed our coffee, and I left the date feeling good about the progress.

Late-Night Fun: Feeld & Blowing Her Back Out

The day wasn’t over, though. I headed home after seven hours of day game to decompress with my housemate Carl. We’re chatting, when suddenly, my phone blows up. It’s a lead from Feeld—a very niche BDSM app that I like to use occasionally to develop my dominant side.

This girl? She was begging for it. I took a breath, popped a dick pill, and hopped on the subway from Manhattan to Brooklyn to give her exactly what she wanted. From 12 to 2:30 a.m., I blew her back out. The girl couldn’t get enough. I finally left her place at 7 a.m. the next day.

Key Lessons:

  • Build Your Core: You’ve got to keep going out, doing the volume, challenging yourself every day. The more you push, the more you build inner congruency. This isn’t just about getting numbers—it’s about transforming yourself into a more masculine, assertive man with self-love. That’s where the real work happens.
  • Inner Game is King: As Dante said, true self-belief is what separates men. If you don’t have a 10/10 belief in yourself, that’s where the work needs to go. You can learn all the lines and techniques you want, but if you don’t have that rock-solid foundation, it won’t matter. The goal is to do the deep inner work, rebuild your core, and believe in yourself at that level. That’s where the magic happens with women.
The Grind is Real

It’s a hell of a life when you’re out here doing the work. But this is what masculinity looks like. It’s the grind, the battle, the wins and the losses, and the constant self-improvement.

Masculinity.
 
MakingAComeback said:
breaking the habits Dante had pointed out last time: the incongruent game persona, the nervous body language, and the lack of grounding.
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Amazing stuff. I’m wondering, how much of these stick with you? I feel like regression happens often because these can be so ingrained. If I’m not actively working on it I revert to a past self.
 
Foducossy said:
Amazing stuff. I’m wondering, how much of these stick with you? I feel like regression happens often because these can be so ingrained. If I’m not actively working on it I revert to a past self.
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They stick, a lot, until they are actively pointed out to you - as part of a structured, goals-oriented process.

Then, you catch yourself.

And you know, damn, this is f**king me.

Conditioning is powerful. Learning self-awareness, and the ability to change our being and personality, is a skill gained through practice.

All habits, are 100% fixable, as part of an overall lifestyle choice based on improvement, and alignment with universal principles of masculinity and leadership.

-MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
They stick, a lot, until they are actively pointed out to you - as part of a structured, goals-oriented process.
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My bad, I wasn’t clear. I meant the improvements. Like when you deal with the bad habits, do the new good habits stick/are they sticky?
 
I totally agree about incongruence and authenticity remarks. However, people need to give themselves permission to be incongruent while they are in the early and middle stages of the process. Everything during times of massive learning is incongruent. Being authentic is not a default state, its a state you need to reach. Normal people who have not challenged themselves repeatedly have no authentic self or state. What they have is a responsive/reflexive flight or fight state, and a pantomime/mirror state. That's it.

All of our social training from childhood is done via mirroring. Learning how to interact with others is done via copying and mirroring. As you continue practicing, you mature from a shitty copy of something into an authentic variation of the original. Being "authentic" is hard, it takes a lot of practice, and it is impossible to fake.

There IS another roadblock as you start to really mature where you need to actively start cutting out the false aspects of your persona. People seem to think everyone is at this stage all the time, but it just isn't true. If you're not at this stage, trying to mimic people who are at this stage is incongruent! The only way to become authentic is to try a million things that don't work, then practice the things that do work until they become natural.

I'm not an expert at this by any means, but if I had to describe it, the process looks something like this:
1. Blindly copying other people randomly
2. Semi-blindly copying people that other people seem to vouch for, relying on the hive-mind opinion
3. Practicing and getting a basic enough understanding to realize something is off with what you are copying
4. Looking for and eventually finding real experts and copying them after they provide some explanation of why they do what they do...which you barely understand and barely pay attention to
5. Long, long periods of practicing until you get to the intermediate level
6. A period of negative progress where you have to start really understanding what you are doing and why it works or doesn't, with a lot of trial and error. This period is fucking brutal. You tend to lose faith in yourself and the entire process/system. Everything that used to work starts malfunctioning. Tons and tons of trial and error and post-game analysis. This period is sped up most with active coaching, or even better with colleagues going through the same process and bouncing ideas off one another.
7. Starting to develop your own system, a return to your prior peak. You start walking your own path. You have a few things that you do that work that virtually no one else does. You have a few things that work that shouldn't according to the opinions of the hive-mind. Some genuine authenticity starts happening around this period.
8. New found sense of purpose and direction. Progress continues trending upward again. Much of your progress here is through elimination of negative, useless, or unnecessary elements. First by eliminating everything you think is wrong, then eliminating everything you dont think is wrong but other people keep responding negatively toward. You start getting comfortable in your own skin and feel less pressure to perform for others.
9. Period of high success, followed by hubris, loss of connection to reality, and some form of tragedy. You start sniffing your own farts and enjoying the aroma. Eventually the disconnect between reality and your overconfidence leads to a terrible outcome. Sometimes this is instead a loss of purpose or reason to continue trying.
10. Destruction of your ego. Reconnection with the original purpose. True clarity on what you are trying to accomplish and why combined with true clarity on your failings and how fallible you are. Real authenticity begins here.
 
But there is a still a valid point about authenticity.

You can act if you fucked 50+ hot girls or you can actually do it and then it will automaticially result in changes of your behauvior.

All those mental tricks like “fake it until you make it” are just a tool for you to get into the process.
 
Hopeless said:
But there is a still a valid point about authenticity.

You can act if you fucked 50+ hot girls or you can actually do it and then it will automaticially result in changes of your behauvior.

All those mental tricks like “fake it until you make it” are just a tool for you to get into the process.
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Lets say you get your first sales job where you need to cold call. You watch some videos and read some books on cold calling first, then start making some calls. There is no possibility of you being authentic on those initial calls, none. To the extent you can be authentic, its at the expense of you practicing the cold calling techniques you just studied.

Whenever you're trying to become something different, it requires betraying your former self + looking like a idiot as you fumble your way into new skills. There is no skipping that process.
 
Damn, felt good reading those two reports bro, proud of you. Also love the way you are describing things, feels like you really are on a good and successful track and enjoying it a lot more in the process.

Keep on going my man!
 
Zug said:
Whenever you're trying to become something different, it requires betraying your former self + looking like a idiot as you fumble your way into new skills. There is no skipping that process.
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Reminds me of the quote

"You have to be a fool before you can be a master. And if you're not willing to be a fool, then you cannot become a master."
 
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