In this thread, I will be releasing the notes I take from my sessions from my mentor in masculinity, game and relationships, Dante.
Enjoy.
Me. And my journey with masculiniuty, relationships, and women.
The first session with Dante was about as subtle as a freight train.
The first thing he asked when I walked in was, “How much do you weigh now?”
“212 pounds,” I said, up from 187 pounds the same time last year.
Before I knew what was happening, I was 12 feet in the air, being hoisted around Union Square by the lion of masculinity himself, Coach Dante.
Yeah, that’s one hell of a way to start a session.
Session One: Facing the Incongruence
Once we got down to business, Dante wasted no time calling me out.
“You’re speaking like a pimp, but you’re not one,” he said bluntly.
At first, I thought it was a joke, but he was dead serious. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.
I had months following my first bootcamp under Pancake & Dante, developing this “game persona,” this way of being that I thought was attractive—but deep down, it wasn’t me. It was an act. The problem was, women could feel it. They could sense the incongruence, and it came across in their body language—the guarded, closed-off responses that I kept getting.
They weren’t reacting to what I was saying; they were reacting to the inconsistency between who I was trying to be and who I actually was.
Dante drilled into me that authenticity is where real attraction happens. Women aren’t looking for some slick guy with a rehearsed routine—they want someone real, grounded, and confident. A man with a core.
And the thing is, I’ve been around long enough to see this play out. I’ve made it happen from time to time, and I’m aware enough to know what’s holding me back. But knowing and doing are two different things.
The Body Language Breakdown
One of the biggest killers of my attraction? My body language. Dante was quick to point out that my hand gestures, my mannerisms—they were giving off the wrong signals. These unconscious habits were showing that I was nervous, ungrounded, and not fully present.
We do these things to dissipate negative emotions and protect ourselves. It’s a defense mechanism, and I had turned it into a habit without even realizing it. Dante made it clear that if I didn’t break this, I was going to keep sabotaging my interactions.
In classic Dante fashion, he didn’t just tell me—I got to witness it firsthand. He stepped into one of my sets, and within minutes, he elevated the energy and vibe by a factor of ten. The girl, who had been mildly interested in talking to me, instantly switched over to him. It was like watching a magic trick, except it wasn’t magic—it was the effect of being a man with a solid core.
That’s the raw reality. It’s open season out here, and if you can’t stimulate her emotions and ground yourself in who you are, you’ll be left living with uncertainty, without control over your destiny.
Hard Sets and Harder Lessons
We spent the rest of the session working on breaking these negative habits. Dante kept pushing me into slightly harder sets, well outside of my market, to see if I could generate enough strength to get them to stop and talk. And I managed to do it, but not without effort. Every interaction was a reminder of the work I still had ahead of me.
Key Lessons from the Session:
By the end of the session, it was clear that I had made progress since last year, but there was still a lot of work to do. I left feeling both humbled and motivated, knowing that if I wanted to take control of my destiny—both in my relationships and in life—I needed to strip away the act and become the man I was meant to be. No more personas, no more masks. Just raw, unapologetic authenticity.
-MAC
Enjoy.
Dante Coaching Session 1 - "You're Speaking Like a Pimp, but You're Not One" [Sunday 1st Sept]
I arrived back in NYC on Saturday, 31st, after six months in Mexico. Six months of beaches, self-reflection, and figuring out how to scale my accountability & performance coaching business while soaking in the tropical vibes. Life there was good—almost too good. You know, the kind of good where you start wondering if you're dodging real-life responsibilities by pretending to be a “spiritual nomad.” But eventually, I had to come back and face what I had left unfinished.Me. And my journey with masculiniuty, relationships, and women.
The first session with Dante was about as subtle as a freight train.
The first thing he asked when I walked in was, “How much do you weigh now?”
“212 pounds,” I said, up from 187 pounds the same time last year.
Before I knew what was happening, I was 12 feet in the air, being hoisted around Union Square by the lion of masculinity himself, Coach Dante.
Yeah, that’s one hell of a way to start a session.
Session One: Facing the Incongruence
Once we got down to business, Dante wasted no time calling me out.
“You’re speaking like a pimp, but you’re not one,” he said bluntly.
At first, I thought it was a joke, but he was dead serious. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.
I had months following my first bootcamp under Pancake & Dante, developing this “game persona,” this way of being that I thought was attractive—but deep down, it wasn’t me. It was an act. The problem was, women could feel it. They could sense the incongruence, and it came across in their body language—the guarded, closed-off responses that I kept getting.
They weren’t reacting to what I was saying; they were reacting to the inconsistency between who I was trying to be and who I actually was.
Dante drilled into me that authenticity is where real attraction happens. Women aren’t looking for some slick guy with a rehearsed routine—they want someone real, grounded, and confident. A man with a core.
And the thing is, I’ve been around long enough to see this play out. I’ve made it happen from time to time, and I’m aware enough to know what’s holding me back. But knowing and doing are two different things.
The Body Language Breakdown
One of the biggest killers of my attraction? My body language. Dante was quick to point out that my hand gestures, my mannerisms—they were giving off the wrong signals. These unconscious habits were showing that I was nervous, ungrounded, and not fully present.
We do these things to dissipate negative emotions and protect ourselves. It’s a defense mechanism, and I had turned it into a habit without even realizing it. Dante made it clear that if I didn’t break this, I was going to keep sabotaging my interactions.
In classic Dante fashion, he didn’t just tell me—I got to witness it firsthand. He stepped into one of my sets, and within minutes, he elevated the energy and vibe by a factor of ten. The girl, who had been mildly interested in talking to me, instantly switched over to him. It was like watching a magic trick, except it wasn’t magic—it was the effect of being a man with a solid core.
That’s the raw reality. It’s open season out here, and if you can’t stimulate her emotions and ground yourself in who you are, you’ll be left living with uncertainty, without control over your destiny.
Hard Sets and Harder Lessons
We spent the rest of the session working on breaking these negative habits. Dante kept pushing me into slightly harder sets, well outside of my market, to see if I could generate enough strength to get them to stop and talk. And I managed to do it, but not without effort. Every interaction was a reminder of the work I still had ahead of me.
Key Lessons from the Session:
- Congruency: "You’re speaking like a pimp, but you're not one. They’re looking at you and thinking, ‘I know this isn’t you.’” I was putting on a persona that didn’t match who I really am, and it was obvious to everyone except me.
- Body Language and Hand Gestures: These unconscious patterns were giveaways of my nervousness, the remnants of the persona I had created. They had to go.
- Presence: For a 6’6” guy, my presence wasn’t where it needed to be. I wasn’t fully in the moment, and that lack of grounding was sabotaging my interactions.
- Tonality: My voice wasn’t deep enough, and I wasn’t projecting it. A solid core isn’t just about what you say—it’s how you say it.
By the end of the session, it was clear that I had made progress since last year, but there was still a lot of work to do. I left feeling both humbled and motivated, knowing that if I wanted to take control of my destiny—both in my relationships and in life—I needed to strip away the act and become the man I was meant to be. No more personas, no more masks. Just raw, unapologetic authenticity.
-MAC