Thrice log. weird saturday night

Had an amazing coaching session with Mac, and we talked about my biggest sticking point and the need for a plan moving forward.
I also need material things like a car and furniture for my apartment to be able to invite girls and friends.
I feel I have 2 big obstacles now:

1) Money. To buy a car and furniture for my apartment I'm working the cleaning job during the day and pizza delivery at night. Even with these two jobs my income is not that high and it will take a lot. The car is essential for social circle game. Guys and even girls ask me for a ride not knowing I use the cleaning job's van to come to the club.

The need for two jobs creates another problem, the people I meet on weekends meet during the week in the evening and I can't join them. Plenty of girls I would like to fuck go to the same bar in the evening from Monday to Thursday. If I could go there every day and become a regular it would be different instead of meeting them on weekends only.

2) my Instagram sucks. I'm meeting new people and only sharing my ig with guys. i don't like to give my ig to girls because I look too autistic there. They see me in the tekno club like this cool alpha guy and would cringe if they saw my autistic expression on ig.

Honestly I don't like the examples on this site, all those guys look cringe because it's very clear they are posing and instead of looking at the camera they look at the horizon. I don't see this cringe pictures working for my ig to get the club's baddest girls

my idea is high quality cool but still natural pictures like this where I'm looking at the camera and not staring at the horizon





I want to come off as a cool guy who doesn't have many followers just because is not much into it. Also, who were the guys saying that if a girl don't give you watsap is a timewaster? I don't believe is true. I've had girls saying you're handsome but I want to make sure you're not a psycho. This girl stared at me all night and was interested.

I think it is crucial to keep in touch and create comfort so to be able to move things forward the following weekend. Thats what girls are doing, they trust me more and talk to me more every weekend.


I feel many things at once. i have doubts about what I'm doing and my future. Knowing very well that I don't like the normies life and don't want a girlfriend. I also feel pressure, this is a small city of 200k people. I think girls have groups or something where they talked about me because I was stalking all the attractive girls with fake profiles so now they're creeped out.

I know that for sure because sometimes I see like 3 or 4 girls and their faces change when they see me. I'm sure they have facebook or watsap groups where they share stuff like this.

I like the fact that I'm slowly turning into an absolute alpha chad. In fact I could be one already. Last Sunday a 50yo teacher from tinder sucked my dick on a bench at the park, I told her to swallow and she did. Surreal.

I like the fact that I'm out there trying different things, the fact that I was stalking girls with fake profile is part of my history. I feel it's an incredibly complex history that no woman or girl will ever understand. Thats why not only i don't give a fuck about the way they look but i also approach their friends.

I think it's very that 2 things are going to happen:

1) I'm going to fuck one of the friends of the girls that shared the info about me being a stalker.
2) I'm going to fuck one of the girls that are part of the group that shared the info about me being a stalker

It would be just surreal. The most amazing from incel to chad story. And I'm not making shit up. One of the girls that often flirts with me Saturday night is part of that group that shared the info. I know this for sure because she was scared the first day and started flirting the following weekends. She knows my past and still flirts. Her friend, who doesn't know my past still flirts. Fucked up. I'm happy i went from lonely sexless depressed to surreal life where things are happening.

I'm still human though, knowing that about 10 girls or more talked about me in a group and shared info about me in a group and shared info about me using fake profile puts a certain stress on me.
I like to remind myself how unimportant woman are to relief that pressure. I like to remind myself that when i was fat they treated like absolute garbage and never saw me as a threat because i looked unattractive in a chubby way. Now they're "scared" but still want to fuck. Just like the Lithuanian girl.


This phase is part of my transformation, let's remind myself that it all started a few month ago after years of nothing but isolation and pain. I visit some forums daily and most guys don't have the luxury to have my looks while i have 19yo flirting and giving me compliments at 36. letting a few girls stop me would be a shame.

I feel I'm at a turning point. And by turning point i mean fucking a very to girl.

I went from skinnyfat pear shaped incel to "getting my dick sucked at the park is nothing special i need a hot 20yo" and that's a good sign

I just wish i already had a car and furniture for my apartment and a killer ig page

God damn this is just crazy lol.

Power of serious looksmaxxing.

Some thoughts.........

I do maintain, that the wider mission of your journey, should be about building a life, and allowing your energy to be balanced across more domains of life.

The central focus of improving your dating life, is one that can bring some negative downstream effects.

I'm seeing it in you, and I went through the same thing. You got your dick sucked recently on a park bench of all things (LOL) and waved it off like it's nothing.

We can be prone to doing this, when we've got very unhelpful thinking and beliefs. You can even bang gorgeous women, and if your underlying thinking is distorted, you'll still complain endlessly that nothing is working, things are fucked, etc.

This, I learned, we as humans tend to do when we are operating from a place of deficit, and have beliefs about not being enough, having to redeem ourselves, and things like that.

It's hard to be happy with anything when this is the psychological platform you operate from.

Realise that a more "normal" guy would have had that chick swallow him on the bench and he would be really feeling himself, like he's won, and his stresses and fears in life would be abated. The guys with more logical, normal thinking, actually let go of their baggage and they move on.

The more hardcase you are, the harder it is to be happy with any results. Ever.

Went from virgin incel when I started to banging 30 odd chicks, some of the sex was legit insane, and some of them were even quite attractive girls.

Yet, it was just never enough to prove to myself that I have made it.

Because I had the same thinking and beliefs. And still have to work on it.

Just flagging this.

You'll get the best outcomes, when you're about building A LIFE

With friends, community, good finances, good health and relationships.

Because when we just push all the time from this place of "fixing our dating life", subconsciously, we turn women into our idol, and when we play that game, no one wins.

-MAC

MakingAComeback said:

You'll get the best outcomes, when you're about building A LIFE

Click to expand...

True, that's why i deleted tinder and started focusing on social circle game which literally forces you to go out and make friends. I don't consider the new friends i made since starting this journey a tool to get woman. I consider them my new real friends, it's the girls that don't count much actually and can come and go.

With some of them, I started boxing, I started playing guitar with another group of friends that are into music. If I only bang one chick the social circle game worked but considering the guy friends I've made I already considered it a success.

Social circle game is successful when you make friends, women are just an addition and they can fuck off after sex if they dont want to stick around

I'm on a weird journey, literally killing the beta. It's so weird going from beta to alpha and having all the girls I stalked when I was incel freak out when they see me at the club. It's not always easy but I embrace this uncomfortable feeling as part of my hero's journey.

I remember when I was a dancing monkey for women, not able to hold eye contact—doing all beta shit like trying to please them or make them "laugh".
Now my balls are big enough to creep them out while getting them wet at the same time lol

when I start caring too much I just read your log man, your posts make me remember how brutal women can be when they don't consider you attractive.

I stop caring and being self conscious when I remember how they used to treat me and how they're treating you just because they're socially conditioned to see certain ethnicities low-value.

but we win in the end, we will still be here in 10 years time while they expire at 25 lol

Thrice said:

when I start caring too much I just read your log man, your posts make me remember how brutal women can be when they don't consider you attractive.

I stop caring and being self conscious when I remember how they used to treat me and how they're treating you just because they're socially conditioned to see certain ethnicities low-value.

Click to expand...

Literally.

Gamed with Pancake yesterday, he said I improved, said my Game has the fundamentals down, the conversations I am having in set are good, I just need more presence, and to create sparks and stimulate way more. This, is a sticking point, and nailing it, will help me.

You see how much shit I have to do to get basic levels of attraction? LMAO

This is liberation bro because you stop being naive, stop "just being yourself", stop thinking in terms of flaws notions that never work for low SMV, and start learning how to change yourself to win.

I can tell you more now I'm back dating and approaching. For most women, my own product is basically invisible and they can't see value in it unfortunately. You can feel it once you've done this a while, you approach and you know when it's a hard, hard no and the girl is way outside your market. That happened a lot to me in my journey to where I am just more careful about who I approach, and consider their vibe, energy, overall look. There's some women who give me a chance, and just that few seconds where she is genuinely curious, is enough for me to get in and make something work.

Through unconscious pattern recognition, you know your market, and who will give you a shot. For me, the pool is so small, it's insane. I don't have a market, or type of girl who goes for me at all, but there are a small subset of women who, if I approach with strength and confidence, are curious enough to listen....which is enough to make it work.

Truth telling is important to me. The blind spots of the people I learned from, frustrated me a tonne. That is what happens when you listen to higher SMV dudes. They don't know half of this shit, unfortunately, but they know a lot of other good stuff we do need tbh.

As for you, your looks, are actually a DHV, you've got a Chad face, so your physical looks are adding tonnes of value and giving your ass frame, receptivity, and mean you only need basic basic ass levels of Game and social skills/calibrations.

As you have seen for me, my looks are a DLV and they actually kill attraction, but I can use other tools to create some small level of attraction and get her to pause for a moment and think, wait a minute....yeah he's an Indian dude and I'm not into that, but this fucker is confident, cool, and he is kinda turning me on right now.

Best for us all to just accept how it works so we don't put too much importance on women. It's just one small part of life, they come and go. Key for us at WW IMO is to get guys out of pain in dating and into building a real, successful life.

SMV is always gonna be king, some guys unfortunately have a look that is beyond the f*king pale for the sexual market place. However, it can be overcome if you are able to use Game to stimulate, spark emotions, and really slap the shit out of her with your vibe and presence, so she can look past your looks temporarily and see substance in you. Your case is interesting because you have now seen both sides.

End of the day, the truth of how it all works. It's possible to win but it's this level of consistent grinding that has to be done for years just improving your Game, personality, and ability to seduce.

Today decided to go to bed and rest, will go to the club tomorrow. I would like to be able to say that i took this choice just because I'm tired but the truth is that every friday there's the usual group of girls who made a group about me as a stalker and as much as I didn't are till now today i feel a bit of shame and psychological pressure

I truly don't give a fuck about them i approached some of them and gave hints about the fact that i know that group exist and i don't give a fuck

I also approached and got the number of one them, i approached and she run at first so i told her to fuck off. We met later when the club was closing smoke a joint together and exchanged watsap

I also approached another one and she was very into me

Giga chad type of shit. Imagine if i fuck one of them, at least two of them are into me even if they think I'm a creep, it shows how much looks matter. This bitches gave me their number even if are part of a group about me

I will use them to find out who's the first girl who find out who i am and created the group. If i fuck one of them I'm sure they will tell me. If you fuck them good they will do everything for you

I'm still human though and i want to rest tonight because having 20 girls that give you mean looks creates some uneasyness.

The question is... How were they treating me when i was fat? They were treating me like shit for no reason, just because i exist. Now I'm the creep that gets laid.

Don't be smooth chris said, be a creep and get laid. I might be taking this fucking article too far though

Fuck it, i will rest tonight and embrace the pain, embrace beign uncomfortable, embrace everything, embrace my past.

This was 10 years in the making, yes i stalked girls with fake profiles as an incel. I will literally tell her this if one of them ask and I'm sure if they are into my looks they will still fuck

I was so stupid for creating a fake profile with no pictures but with my real facebook name but again. Fuck them. I was beign treated like shit just because i was unattractive.

The 50 yo teacher wants to try anal. Will see. I need to make more money if i want things to work.
I need to get a fullsleeve, new pictures, car, furniture. I've had some interested girls and didn't know what to do with them because i don't have anything, i don't have a life.

But it's fine, i just started building, I'm 36 and my peers are married with kids and mortgage + unattractive old post wall wife.

I'm having fun doing what i like and this is a gift. When i feel too much pressure i try to remeber that I'm very different. Took a different path. So embrace what comes with it. Hopefully the good will be more than the bad

There will be a time when you no longer hold into the old incel identity, and you let go of the shame.

Logically, you know you've won.

What else is there to prove?

You looksmaxxed, became a Chad, and now are in Just Exist mode.

And they give you frame, receptivity, and forgive all sins.

By all metrics, you proved your ideas correct.

Surely, this part of your journey is about peace, and properly confronting the past. Getting deep inside of yourself and dealing with it. Breaking it down. Until you are able to move on

-MAC

I went clubbing on Saturday with one of my new friends. He is very popular so I met a lot of people through him but the night was off. I wanted to approach this gorgeous girl I've been seeing lately in many of this Tekno nights.
She's so fucking beautiful and I wanted to talk to her so bad for a month at least.

When i saw her alone in the smoking area I tried to walk up to her but felt cripplig approach anxiety. It was a shock for me. This is legit AA, something I thought I didn't have. I always thought i didn't need the approach anxiety program because I didn't have it. The confident approaches here and there made me think i don't have AA.

Just because I do what the average can't I ended up thinking I don't have AA at all. I have it and my fucking legs were shaking. Fuck. I saw the girl I wanted to approach on TikTok, she posts super cringe videos. I can't believe i'm afraid of talking to a 20-year-old girl who posts cringe videos on tiktok. They are literally like kids, and yet I was a complete puss, too scared to approach. Her ex is a gigachad with perfect jawline.

So this girl fucked a gigachad for 5 years from 15 to 20. No wonder they don't need us like we need them. They have such easy access to sex while we're starving for some attention. I went full blackpill yesterday and started thinking even if I approached it would be completely useless. That girl already has already had her fill of sex and intimacy from 15 to 20 with a super chad. Does she need me? Hell no. They could care less about us.

I felt embarrassed yesterday because i was there to get girls while most girls don't even care because they have easy access to sex. Hard nights like this make me question my life choices. I was feeling bad and hurt every time a girl avoided eye contact. I was also under the pressure of girls staring and giving me mean looks.

I can say fuck them, i could care less. I'm coming up at the top as a winner and in a way I already did but it wears on you having girls staring with a mean face like that. The girls I fucked from tinder seem like a distant memory and now I feel I'm back to the incel life.

After deleting tinder the goal is social circle and a hot girl from tekno clubs, i don't know if i can do that. I messed up and now i'm paying. I'm the creep who stalks girls here. Well the Lithuanian girls showed me that woman have no morals and ethics and it's all just looks. But unless i meet a girl that's super into my looks i'm just the creep stalker here.

Parma is a small city, what i can do is go to a different city on friday night and just do a lot of approaches there. And on saturday i can just go to the usual clubs in my city where i have friends. The problem is 1 day a week might not be enough exposure to beat AA.
I'mvery tired of this situation, time flys too fast and i'm getting old. It seems like yesterday when corona hit here in italy but in realty it's almost 5 years.


Even this fucking girls making me feel bad will get old and be replaced by a new crop of 18yo. I need to shake myself up and work very hard. I want to stop thinking and do something. For the first time in my 15 years online logging i will post every day and try doing something meaningful worth posting every day.

If you post daily, and follow a consistent structure, you'll win.

Most suck at life because they:

-Don't develop their skills enough
-Don't develop performance skills enough (Focus, Consistency, Learning ability, Discipline)

Daily logging is the first thing you need to do to go from your current level to the next level.

The guys who are not performers, which is many, don't log daily.

They are living well under their potential and will not be able to compete with an equal SMV guy who has performance skills nailed down.

Yes, it's tough, but that's life, and you will be older in 10 years time whether you like it or not.

Work ethic & determination cannot be a factor if whether or not you make it. Beating AA, is a real mission. I have AA again to some degree because of my Mexico time off. It's nothing like it was back in the day, but it's still there, and it's not very low like it was after 2 years of consistent approaching.

Dating and life results are just an equation.

To solve it, you have to look at where you're weak, and fucking ATTACK it.

Sticking points get resolved when you are attacking them daily.

-Ravi

- work from 10 am to 2pm
-workout, push
-cleaned the house for a new airbnb guest

I could've done way more, I wasted time on the internet. I'm also ruminating a lot about the stalker creep thing. I fucked up but that's how things played out. Thefear of missing out turned me into a stalker that wants to see what attractive girls are doing, especially on weekends.

Who knew I would looskmax, start going out, and meet those same girls? Who knew that after improving my look i would have a chance with them, but ruin this chance by being labeled as a stalker?

The way I can give a positive spin to this is that I changed my life trajectory. I changed a destiny that was already written and wrote another one. The reason I stalked girls sometimes not even hiding my face is that I was 100% sure I was going to be a lonely fat incel sleeping at home forever.

Now i feel some discomfort at the club, but it's a normal side effect when you decide to change your life and now you're clubbing with the same girls you used to stalk for years. They used to treat me like trash when I was fat anyway. I will make a move on all of them and see how many of them want to date. If i fucked the Lithuanian girl after 10 paragraphs of insults I might pull this off too lol

I don't care, I've had an incredibly painful life, I have endured inhuman levels of pain. I don't care what 20yo girls think. All I want to know is if they want to suck my dick or not and move on.


Starting from tomorrow I will use an agenda and stick to my daily tasks without wasting time just thinking or scrolling the internet.

I have decided that working on my IG is the number one priority.
I will not ask out any girl until I have a good IG. And by IG I mean Instagram haha
I'm dead serious, hiding behind fake profiles to follow girls is what I did for years, and now I'm even known for that. I want to have a good instagram so i can ask girls to give me theirs.
This is a huge task because it means I will have to take good pictures and work on my trauma. I don't like my appearance and looking at myself in pictures causes me to have some bad feelings. So working on my instagram will not be that different from working on inner game.

Taking pictures, being able to look at them, and proudly giving a real social media of mine to a girl without being ashamed is a legit sticking point.

Last Saturday I was behind the club in the garden area and a girl was so scared after seeing me. Well, i remember very the same scene happened in 2018 with a different girl. I was at a metal club moshing, later i met one of the girls in the moshpit and just said hi. She got scared and started running. My heart broke into a thousand pieces from the pain I felt.
What did i do back than? Nothing, i was just fat.

Thrice said:

- work from 10 am to 2pm
-workout, push
-cleaned the house for a new airbnb guest

I could've done way more, I wasted time on the internet. I'm also ruminating a lot about the stalker creep thing. I fucked up but that's how things played out. Thefear of missing out turned me into a stalker that wants to see what attractive girls are doing, especially on weekends.

Who knew I would looskmax, start going out, and meet those same girls? Who knew that after improving my look i would have a chance with them, but ruin this chance by being labeled as a stalker?

The way I can give a positive spin to this is that I changed my life trajectory. I changed a destiny that was already written and wrote another one. The reason I stalked girls sometimes not even hiding my face is that I was 100% sure I was going to be a lonely fat incel sleeping at home forever.

Now i feel some discomfort at the club, but it's a normal side effect when you decide to change your life and now you're clubbing with the same girls you used to stalk for years. They used to treat me like trash when I was fat anyway. I will make a move on all of them and see how many of them want to date. If i fucked the Lithuanian girl after 10 paragraphs of insults I might pull this off too lol

I don't care, I've had an incredibly painful life, I have endured inhuman levels of pain. I don't care what 20yo girls think. All I want to know is if they want to suck my dick or not and move on.


Starting from tomorrow I will use an agenda and stick to my daily tasks without wasting time just thinking or scrolling the internet.

I have decided that working on my IG is the number one priority.
I will not ask out any girl until I have a good IG. And by IG I mean Instagram haha
I'm dead serious, hiding behind fake profiles to follow girls is what I did for years, and now I'm even known for that. I want to have a good instagram so i can ask girls to give me theirs.
This is a huge task because it means I will have to take good pictures and work on my trauma. I don't like my appearance and looking at myself in pictures causes me to have some bad feelings. So working on my instagram will not be that different from working on inner game.

Taking pictures, being able to look at them, and proudly giving a real social media of mine to a girl without being ashamed is a legit sticking point.

Last Saturday I was behind the club in the garden area and a girl was so scared after seeing me. Well, i remember very the same scene happened in 2018 with a different girl. I was at a metal club moshing, later i met one of the girls in the moshpit and just said hi. She got scared and started running. My heart broke into a thousand pieces from the pain I felt.
What did i do back than? Nothing, i was just fat.

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"all I want to know is if they want to suck my dick or not and move on"

I get women have been fucked up to you in the past. But this is not the way. You're not growing with that mindset. You need to be more curious about them. You seem so dug in. Not open. And I bet it shows to these wamen. Its going to get you less girls than if you were trying to see them as their own human beings with their own quirks and thoughts and ways of being. Don't get me wrong, i am not a feminist. But bro...try to see them as people who are worthwhile even though they are misled by gender war stuff and mean and all of that. Your vibe seems/sounds hostile but not in the cool sexy way

Edit: And also do whatever the fuck it takes to get to a new area or place where you don't have some god awful reputation following you? If my rep was as cooked as yours sounds, I would LEAVE that city.

Agree with Zekler.

Thrice, is actually a good dude in his core btw - I did a deep coaching session with him, and he is actually way different to how he posts.

He just had an unbelievably traumatic past.

But he is a good dude and is becoming a better person.

He will heal, the toxicity will slowly go away over time.

90% of this forum is just guys with Inner Game issues, dude.

Thrice, I challenge you to develop a real structure and implement it daily. Look at how I do it in my log, and match that, for 90 days.

-Ravi

Today tried to find out if i can cold approach in the streets here in Parma, a city of 200k people. The answer is no to be honest, at least that's what i think. At 1 pm there are many girls on the streets from high school or local university, but i didn't find any spot where i could approach girls every day with a turnover of new girls every day

If i approach girls from high school they will find out real quick I'm doing every day, it's just the same girls with the same friends year around. There's more variety with university girls, i even heard some American girls talking while going back to university, but it's a small city. I don't know a spot where i could do this.

My options are:
-go approach in other cities during the day, Bologna is a big city of 400k people and it's just 1 hour drive/train. Milan is 1h train too by the way and the ticket is cheap.

-approach in clubs at night, and this can be at the university parties on thursday, or normal clubs on Friday and Saturday

I was a bit sad thinking about being labeled creep, I still think it would be the chaddest thing ever done if I end up fucking one of them. And it's not impossible.

I bought aromasin to lower my estrogen, before TRT I had 200/300 test and 30 estrogens, now I have 800 test and 70 estrogen. When i lower the estrogen i will have 800 test with same estrogen levels i started with, for the first time since starting TRT. I hope it will improve my mood

Today it was mainly work and cleaning for the new airbnb guest. I also had my last workout before rest day.
Starting from tomorrow I will use an agenda to give myself more structure. Sometimes I don't know what the fuck I should be doing except saving money for the car.

I should practice singing and guitar but I'm too distracted by the lack of sex and intimacy with girls so I think I will practice taking pictures daily. Today I couldn't stop thinking about the creep thing. Like I'm the only person who keeps going to a club where girls made a group about him to call him creep. Life is short and this is all part of this weird fucking journey. Nothing was normal in my life and I can't let this stop me.
Those girls will be out of the game in a few years, i know that because i've seen the turnover of new generation of girls many times. At 24 most of them stop their hoe phase, at least the club-related one.

I have seen it many times, they will cycle out and I will always be there. Life is too short i can't let this stop me.

If you think i'm 36, nothing of this is normal, it's such a unique journey so i will accept having unique problems.

I saw a post on Facebook yesterday from a 34-year-old guy complaining that he hasn't had a girlfriend and has been single for 15 years. He kept saying he's a good guy, loyal and knows how to cook, so he doesn't understand why he's still single. The poor guy is fat, bald, and bluepilled beyond repair. Meanwhile, i'm saving for a full sleeve ready to fuck the next 20yo, and i'm 2 years older thank him.

it was such a special and intense life, i have to accept the problems that comes with being different, strayed from the normie path.

Just need to dial in the agenda/structure, Thrice.

Lets see that and agree as a forum, what kind of structure works for you.

Please have 2 goals

And within those 2 goals, have 2 x 90m blocks for each if you can

Your commentary and venting, is fine, and as you finally begin dealing with your Inner Game, the above stuff is going to go away.

All the guys with Inner Game issues, express things which are not based in reality. Including me at my not so ideal moments lol

Progressively it weakens and starts to go.....

It does not matter if you're 36. I'm 33. To live the rest of your days, happy, healthy, successful in your own eyes, and with a gorgeous woman to enjoy life with, is worth any pain, any suffering, any effort, any sacrifice, any investment, a million times over

You are in life

You get ONE

GO. ALL. IN.

UNTIL YOU SUCEED

-Ravi

I didn't post for a few days because I failed at the main task which is waking the fuck up. I woke up at 1pm for days and all I was able to do is work. Not enough time to do anything else. Now the goal is sleep hygiene.

-Clean my dirty apartment and turn it into a comfortable environment to relax in before sleep
- change the light bulbs and find the ones that don't block melatonin production
- buy a camp lamp or just candles and use them when I come back from work at night
-always have clean bedsheets, buy a lot of cheap ones from ikea so I can use a new bedsheet everyday once I run out just take it to the laundry

use apps like nuj app

Saturday was weird. So i went clubbing as usual with my new friends. I ended up approaching 2 girls. these girls were staring at me because they are from the group that talked about me as a stalker lol they were surprised i had the balls to approach, they said they had boyfriends.
You know what's shocking? I remember very well I used to be treated like shit before losing weight, I even remember the last girl I approached before covid hit. She was aggressive and looked at me like I was some sub-human. It looked like it was a rejection of me as a human being lol

Now I'm approaching the girls that I used to stalk, they made a group chat about me and they are still sweet lol It's fucked up and surreal, to be honest, and I don't know what I'm doing, and how I ended up here hahah

at some point, I find myself in my friend's car, me with two other guys, and one girl. The girl in the car is one of the girls I used to stalk on ig too and she knows it. Fucking weird. She was so beautiful and feminine, with a very feminine voice. I could orgasm just listening to her speak, so feminine. At some point, I was shocked because this tiny sweet feminine angel snorted hard drugs like the rest of the guys. I wasn't expecting that from her.

The guys are a bit fucked up but she's very normal so I wasn't expecting that from her at all. i felt some peer pressure but didn't want to try. Surreal night.

If these guys are getting baddies like that it means I can too, I even look and dress better. But i didn't know that so i wasted many years just following attractive girls with fake profiles from home. And now all of a sudden i find myself in a car with one of them...WTF?!
weird fucking Saturday night, let's keep going and see what happens. The goal in P in V and having fun during the ride doesn't hurt.

will come up with a more structured daily routine

It's been a rough week mentally. I had a hard time processing what I saw the week prior. A 23 yo guy fucking and doing coke with the hotties I've been stalking with a fake profile for 2 years. This made me realize that it was never just about appearance, I was beta and that's what destroyed my life. These guys don't even have papers and are fucking hotties, not stalking them with fake profiles.
I felt embarrassed.
They're not doing the coke and hookers things, but the coke and hot girlfriend. Say what you want but even to do coke you have to be alpha, as a beta I'm scared of everything that can have long-term non-predictable consequences. They do without thinking, while I wasted the first 35 years of my life just thinking, and I'm still doing it.

I have the flu + I spiraled down into depression and my libido/energy went to zero. No plans for the future in my brain just a constant recap of how it went and questions about how it could have been.

I hope to get out of this depression phase and go back to work. I'm still working so the car and full sleeve money are coming soon. Not working out or going out but I will force myself to do it once I heal, even if the depression is still there.

Sometimes the hatred and negativity emerge from the abyss and I just let it do its course, telling myself tomorrow is another day.

the bluepill is like opium, it gives you that sense of well-being by making you detached from reality. I navigate the world sober, and it can be painful sometimes.

Starting from Monday I will practice taking pictures every day. A good ig page is crucial to get the social circle lays going. I'm sure about this and I proved my theories right in the past. Let's see if this is also true.

Thrice said:

It's been a rough week mentally. I had a hard time processing what I saw the week prior. A 23 yo guy fucking and doing coke with the hotties I've been stalking with a fake profile for 2 years. This made me realize that it was never just about appearance, I was beta and that's what destroyed my life. These guys don't even have papers and are fucking hotties, not stalking them with fake profiles.
I felt embarrassed.
They're not doing the coke and hookers things, but the coke and hot girlfriend. Say what you want but even to do coke you have to be alpha, as a beta I'm scared of everything that can have long-term non-predictable consequences. They do without thinking, while I wasted the first 35 years of my life just thinking, and I'm still doing it.

Click to expand...

Lol. Doing coke doesn't make you alpha. I have done my fair share of that kinda dumb shit in my past life. Been teetotal for years now mind you.

Alpha are the guys who get in the MMA cage and compete with other tough bastards, and deal with it. The guys who asser their will in the world, are fierce, and go for their dreams.

The world is full of losers who give no fucks in life just living a basic existence and engaged in hedonistic mindless crap.

We are the minority of men who take life seriously and attack it to squeeze every last bit out of it. And we are creating outcomes because of that.

Thrice said:

I have the flu + I spiraled down into depression and my libido/energy went to zero. No plans for the future in my brain just a constant recap of how it went and questions about how it could have been.

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Depression & rumination.

Drugs makes this 1000000000000000% worse

A guy with mental health issues cannot be doing drugs. So just stay in your lane,

Thrice said:

I hope to get out of this depression phase and go back to work. I'm still working so the car and full sleeve money are coming soon. Not working out or going out but I will force myself to do it once I heal, even if the depression is still there.

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Hardcase life brah.

Sometimes, it just hits you. But I promise you it gets WAY better over time.

Thrice said:

Sometimes the hatred and negativity emerge from the abyss and I just let it do its course, telling myself tomorrow is another day.

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GROWTH

You have healed a bit internally. This is a different Thrice.

Thrice said:

the bluepill is like opium, it gives you that sense of well-being by making you detached from reality. I navigate the world sober, and it can be painful sometimes.

Starting from Monday I will practice taking pictures every day. A good ig page is crucial to get the social circle lays going. I'm sure about this and I proved my theories right in the past. Let's see if this is also true.

Click to expand...

Sense of wellbeing alone can help us be more effective in life and the pursuit.

It can come from being blissfully ignorant, and it can also come from working on your mindset, and being a well-rounded and put together person

-MAC

Thrice said:

Say what you want but even to do coke you have to be alpha, as a beta I'm scared of everything that can have long-term non-predictable consequences. They do without thinking, while I wasted the first 35 years of my life just thinking, and I'm still doing it.

Click to expand...

Doing drugs doesn't make you an alpha. Trust me.

Today worked at the pizza place and had a new Airbnb guest, i will use the money to pay the bills.
Tomorrow I'm on sick leave so I will clean. No more multitasking as I get too easily overwhelmed and end up just scrolling TikTok. Just 1 task for the day, cleaning. Allow myself to do what i want after I finish to celebrate my daily victory. I'm too depressed to be doing a bunch of stuff like the other guys, i barely function.

what ruined my life was the mental illness I was born with, me beign a beta and very bad parents.
These three things stole my youth from me and left me with an empty hole inside I'm constantly trying to fill.
That's why I could care less about money, business, and stuff like that and I just go to tekno clubs. I feel that my youth was stolen from me and I don't care about adult people's stuff.

I also don't care about high value people or beign one of them, like zero. I would like to have the social circle and the girlfriend I never had. This would make me happy even with zero money in the bank.

It's like I blinked, took a big breath, felt huge and unbearable levels of emotional pain, and woke up just to realize that my best years are over. Just like that, in a second.

I admit that the idea that they made a group about me being a stalker has been bothering me, but I will have to accept it. I think is an ego thing. I like to say I don't give a fuck but when I get approached or get compliments from a young girl I feel validated. So it's not true that they don't count and I don't care about them.
My brain recognizes them and for the same reason, I do care and feel embarrassed knowing they made a group about me.

I'm still better than 99% of male population, i went after them and approached them, even knowing 100% they will talk amongst each other about it lol

90% of man can't approach in normal conditions, I'm out there chasing and approaching girls that made a group about me lol

It's really easy to forget how much we evolved, if you saw me at the club you would not believe I was a beta who could not look at them in the eyes. I also can't believe how much I changed and evolved at different stages.

This journey made me change my views about society in general and woman. Most men are whipped and work their asses off for ungrateful old women. I check out thanks

what I like is the temporary company of young beautiful feminine girls. The Lithuanian girl was 25 and her body was amazing. No older than that.

Firstly, I truly know we've helped you heal, and suffer less as a person, when I notice subtle things in your posts.

This, for me as an admin, is great.

I want to help as many people as I can. And I am satisfied we've started to really get somewhere with you.

Thrice said:

what ruined my life was the mental illness I was born with, me beign a beta and very bad parents.
These three things stole my youth from me and left me with an empty hole inside I'm constantly trying to fill.
That's why I could care less about money, business, and stuff like that and I just go to tekno clubs. I feel that my youth was stolen from me and I don't care about adult people's stuff.

Click to expand...

You only see it as life ruining now, while you're still healing

When you're further along in your healing, it's no longer life ruining at all. It was part of your story, and you used it to create a better life.

We often paint an unrealistic picture of people's youths. Looking at the younger generation now, where 60% of men 18-26 are still virgins, I'd hardly say their youth was much.....

And when I consider the Giga Chads in my school, who were the most popular people and got all the girls and great experiences, some of them now reach out to me on social media and tell me how proud they are of me and what I became. While they are sat there with their fat wife and still existing in the shithole I grew up in.

The life of success, and to be a happy, healthy man, who made it, and who has a sexy girlfriend, is such an epic win that IMO you will let go of your perception of your mispent youth a lot.

Thrice said:

I also don't care about high value people or beign one of them, like zero. I would like to have the social circle and the girlfriend I never had. This would make me happy even with zero money in the bank.

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Good.

We know you value relationships above all.

So we just need to keep pushing you to build them.

Thrice said:

It's like I blinked, took a big breath, felt huge and unbearable levels of emotional pain, and woke up just to realize that my best years are over. Just like that, in a second.

Click to expand...

Is that true?

Is the best behind you?

I had the best months of getting laid in my life, this year at 33. I had the highest quality lay, this year at 33.

I got closer to people, opened up more, developed stronger relationships, and began to grapple with my very difficult inner game situation, this year. I am way better socially, find it easier to talk to people, and became far more grounded and whole. It is easier for me to speak to my extended family, and I am glad to have gotten closer to friends, clients, and acquaintances alike. I shared in the log recently that a client's wife wanted to introduce me to her best friend, who is a gorgeous woman, because of how much she likes and values me.

The human experiences which are very rewarding, began to happen over time, because I kept doing the work.

And this is taking place for you too. Slowly, but surely.

I used to dream about running a business and waking up to the sunrise on the beach in Mexico. I used to log about it, and used to tell my housemate Timmy about it.

I actually did it this year.

Point here is: in life, it's NEVER OVER UNTIL YOU'RE 6 FEET UNDER.

If you can breathe, you still have the damn opportunity to win the fight, even if you have to come back in the last round, it can, and will, be done.

No one's best years are behind them. Self Improvement, does not work like that. As you IMPROVE, as do your outcomes. Even if things are getting tougher, which I believe they are, we will always win, because we understand reality and how to work with it.

Thrice said:

It's really easy to forget how much we evolved, if you saw me at the club you would not believe I was a beta who could not look at them in the eyes. I also can't believe how much I changed and evolved at different stages.

Click to expand...

YES

Thrice said:

This journey made me change my views about society in general and woman. Most men are whipped and work their asses off for ungrateful old women. I check out thanks

Click to expand...

Hahaha. Thrice dropping bars. Look, yeah, it's rough out there.

Staying with this shit, gives us a shot at fantastic outcomes.

Thrice said:

what I like is the temporary company of young beautiful feminine girls. The Lithuanian girl was 25 and her body was amazing. No older than that.

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Fuck yeah.

It is hard to find, but once you get it a few times, you stay with this shit.

Have had it twice myself. Those 2 women changed my life, and are why I keep going.

I disagree that they can't be older than 25. The 2 women who gave me exceptional sexual experiences were both 26 (lol). I agree this is typically the range.

I've done as old as 34/35, and they are starting to really degrade a lot at that stage!

KEEP GOIN THRICE