THE VALUE OF HOLDING FRAME 
Stand your ground. Hold your Frame. (Carter, 2021).
Tomassi, R. (2013)
***
I'd like to tell you 2 stories.
Story 1 involves 1 girl, where I didn't hold Frame.
Story 2 involves 2 girls, where I did hold Frame.
Before I get into these stories, I believe it is important to discuss the concept of Frame, as I feel there are a lot of interpretations as to what Frame actually is, and from what I have seen, the term is misused and falsely misrepresented on a regular basis.
Some of you reading this may not actually know about the concept of Frame. Some readers may have seen the terminology being bandied about deep in the bowels of Red-Pill/Game forums, or heard some half-hearted explanation from some gym-bro at the bar after half a dozen Budweisers, but aren't quite 100% sure what it actually means.
One of the most 'back to basics' books on dating, 'Red-pill truths', and game, is Rollo Tomassi's 'The Rational Male' which offers some clarity on the concept of Frame.
In the 'Iron Rules of Tomassi' section of the book, the first 'Iron Rule' stipulates:
My copy of 'The Rational Male', well-read many times over.
It took me a while to get my head around this concept. I worked in a hardware store at the time I read the book, and the closest thing to a frame I knew of was a door frame.
What helped me understand Frame was the realisation that it is about who is in control of the narrative, which is dictated by a person's psyche, lifestyle, being, the energy they give off, and the general impression they outwardly portray to the world. When a girl enters my life and I continue to control the narrative and hold her attraction, she is in my Frame. It is the meaning and influence that we bring to situations. This is done subconsciously for it to actually work, and work effectively.
In marriages where the wife 'wears the trousers', she holds the Frame, and the husband will always be in her Frame and fall in line as a result. Hence, we often refer to men in these situations as 'beta males'.
How often do you think guys in that exact situation get blowjobs?
Frames can come from all manner of entities - not just individuals. Workplaces, cultures, religions, organisations, societies, etc.
In the workplace, it is generally accepted that the boss holds the Frame as the authority figure. This a subconscious life rule that is drilled into children from an early age through to adulthood: Accept the Frame of the parent, the teacher, and, later, the boss, as the authority figure.
In one of my previous employments, there was a highly skilled employee that had a very niche skillset that the company required to function effectively as a business. Very few people as qualified as him were available in the recruitment microcosm, and replacing him would have been any recruitment manager's worst nightmare.
This aforementioned employee was able to write his own ticket on whatever he wished. Vacation time, promotions, pay raises, company benefits, working hours, etc.
This all played into his Frame. His operating Frame was 'I'm important. You're all screwed without me...' and the management were all working to within his Frame. He therefore controlled the narrative, which he was able to ultimately benefit from in multiple ways.
If an employee is not desperately needed by a company and is easily replaceable, he does not hold the Frame. If an expendable employee started to make similar demands? His ass would get fired.
Hit the road, Jack.
My copy of Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power, gifted to me by a dear friend. Very dark and very manipulative. Know your enemy.
***
Whilst I enjoy the mental masturbation of discussing game and the theories that underpin it, I always strive to apply these theories to real-life situations and discuss the real-world, practical experiences I have gone through where these theories are relevant and applicable.
As I mentioned at the start of this article, I put myself in a situation where I did not hold Frame. It ultimately lead to me paying the price...
I met this girl on a swinging website:
Good body, nice legs, pretty face (you'll just have to trust me on that one) and open-minded in bed, as 'travel girls' usually are.
We bonded over travel, dating experiences and various other things we had in common.
I pitched a date, we met up, and we carried on the conversation in person. We had a few drinks (I paid), few make-outs, date went well. She said I was a 'decent guy' etc. and then we departed after a couple hours together.
A guy in the bar even complimented her by telling her she was 'gorgeous'. Little did I know and came to realise later on, this played into her Frame.
There were a couple of other Fuck-ups that I made that are important to note:
I helped her with her LinkedIn and her C.V.
I was texting back very quickly.
I paid for all of the drinks on our date.
I even offered for her to come stay with me for a night or two, as she didn't enjoy staying with her parents when she was back in the country, as she'd had a falling out with them.
I was doing everything that I could to 'appease' and serve her. I was in her Frame.
She was now in control. Her Frame that she was operating from went as follows:
'I'm a high value female because this guy is doing everything he possibly can to appease me and is coming off as desperate. I can do better.'
So the fateful night came where I'd arranged for her to come over. 1 hour before, I got the text I was semi-expecting, but naively hoped wouldn't be coming:
'I'm actually out of town for a couple of days'...
This wasn't the worst part...
I went onto the Swinging site the next day, and she'd uploaded a picture of her with some guy's cock down her throat from the night we were due to meet.
CUCKED.
A week after Story 1 occurred and I was still feeling pretty pissed off about things, I landed in Krakow for a vacation I'd booked.
I took the time to sit down and attempt to figure out where I'd Fucked up over coffee.
Actual photo of me musing over the whole Travel Girl situation (tenor, 2024)
I took things back to basics, re-read Rollo Tomassi's section on Frame, and quickly realised that I'd Fucked up because of the transfer of Frame into the hands of Travel Girl.
Once I'd identified the issue, I could now take steps to address it.
I was in a position where I had a major advantage: I was in a different city.
Nobody knew me. I was only there for the week and still feeling raw, so I had the 'don't care' attitude towards whether I met someone and got laid or not. I'd just enjoy the City regardless.
I therefore had control over the Frame.
I took a leaf out of French Philosopher René Descartes book:
For the whole week, I began to think of myself as a high-value man who travels a lot, is good with women, gets laid regularly, isn't afraid to go and get what he wants, speaks his mind, and doesn't care if he doesn't get laid. I saw the world as having abundance. This became outwardly projected as a result. 'I think, therefore I am'.
This was my narrative. This was my Frame.
I had a pre-arranged meet with a girl from Tinder who was up for meeting me at the airport.
This girl was from Kyrgyzstan and cute.
I got a Telegram message from her telling me she wasn't up for meeting due to her feeling it was just going to be sex as I was only in town a week, my response was dismissive and kept within my new Frame:
'Cool. I'm in town until Sunday if you change your mind
'.She blocked me straight after, but more on this later.
I fired up Tinder, bought boosts and the Platinum upgrade, then Krakow became my new hunting ground for the week.
I got 3 lays in total over 5 days.
The first lay was easy, but the second lay was a bit more complicated, however, I held Frame.
My second date was with a left-wing stripper:
Small tits, big ass, lots of ink. Definitely a stripper.
This girl travelled from a town 2 hours away just to meet me. She wore a nice dress, made the effort with her makeup and was very receptive.
During the date, I went to the bathroom and checked my phone...
It was Kyrgyzstani girl wanting to meet that same night.
So, I decided to operate from my new Frame...
'I got plans'.
'Oh, you meeting other girls?'
'Yes. That's what tends to happen when you stand a man up and then disappear.'
'Oh I don't want to meet you then if you seeing other girls'.
'Cool. You know where the door is'.
Chat gets deleted again.
I laughed and went back to the date with the stripper.
***
Throughout the date, I acted as if meeting and dating hot girls was just a normal part of my Frame. I acted as if having lots of sex and being sexual was just normal for me. After a while, I told her 'let's get out of here and head back to my place...'.
She agreed.
What I found interesting was throughout the date and beforehand, she'd explicitly stated she was not going to have sex with me, she wants a relationship, she's a stripper and men use her, so she's not looking for that... etc. etc.
I just brushed these off and held the Frame, which ultimately lead to her coming back to mine.
After lots of making out and teasing, she went to the bathroom to get cleaned up before we had sex.
After she came back to bed, she said she needed to have a 'serious conversation'. I said 'cool, lay it on me'.
She'd put something in my bathroom bin and seen the several used condoms from the previous night and the same morning's lay.
FUCK.
A fork in the road had appeared.
I could've folded and tried to be defensive or apologetic and simpy, but instead I decided to hold Frame.
She was already in my bed half-naked and I'd got laid the same morning. What did I have to lose? She gets up and leaves? Cool, then I can go out for a cold beer and enjoy the city.
So I owned the situation, held my frame, stayed in control and just acted as if this was the normal narrative for me.
'Yeah, I had a girl over the other night'...
Instead of blowing up and going crazy, she blew me instead.
She appreciated the honesty. She was in my Frame.
I Fucked her 3 times and then we had sex again in the morning. She did everything in bed that I wanted and the sex was awesome.
Whilst we were lying there after doing the pillow talk, she was telling me about some of her experiences as a stripper.
Some guy paid $2600 USD to just suck her toes for 2 hours in a VIP hot tub room, and here I was Fucking this girl who had travelled 2 hours on a train just to meet me after 1 meal.
After she left, I checked my phone. Turns out whilst I was balls-deep in the stripper, Kyrgyzstani girl had unblocked and messaged me on Telegram:
'Hey, you free tonight?'
'I wasn't, but I'm free tomorrow night. Come straight to my place at 7 P.M'.
'Okay'.
She showed up the next night makeup on point, skirt, sexy underwear.
I Fucked her 4 times and made an amateur porno with her.
Holding Frame works.
That week in Krakow was an eye-opening experience for me. I learnt many valuable lessons which I took forward with me from when I came home.
Key takeaway from this article? If you are not in control of the Frame, you will have limited (if any) success in dating, sex, and many other aspects and areas of life.
Oh yeah, and don't leave your condoms in the bin for someone else to find.
***
AUTHOR: SPIDER JERUSALEM
With thanks to @Bman and @Crisis_Overcomer
Carter, J. (2021) Guts, by Kentaro Miura. Gizmodo [online]. [Accessed: 13/09/2024]. Available at: <Berserk Gets New York Times Ad Ahead of Volume 41's US Release in 2022 (gizmodo.com)>.
Descartés, R. (1637) A Discourse on the Method of Correctly Conducting One’s Reason and Seeking Truth in the Sciences [online]. Oxford, U.K: Oxford University Press. [Accessed: 13/09/2024]. Available at: <A Discourse on the Method (Oxford World's Classics) (tue.nl)>.
Greene, R. (2002) 48 Laws of Power. 2nd edn. London, U.K: Profile Books.
Tenor (2024) spongebob squarepants is sitting at a table in a diner. tenor [online]. [Accessed: 13/09/2024]. Available at: <Spongebob Coffee GIF – Spongebob Coffee Diner – discover and share GIFs (tenor.com)>.
Tomassi, R. (2013) The Rational Male. Nevada, U.S.A: Counterflow Media LLC.
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