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Brandon Builds - Update: Revival of the OG OF Girl

Sup boyos. It would seem that the article I wrote today directed at men is actually a big hit with women, because they are dying for guys to manhandle them in the bedroom.

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So I figured I'd drop it here for you gents: Manhandling Guide: Techniques & Tips for Rougher Sex & BDSM Play.

Seriously, every girl I've ever asked about past sexual experiences says guys are not rough enough with them. Literally just went on a date with an 18yo yesterday and she told me how timid guys are and how she's faked it with them when they are being "dominant". So she'll be coming over tomorrow for the real deal.

Please do yourself a favor, and throw that girl around.
 
Spider Jerusalem said:
Please do let us know how this goes
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Went fantastic. Officially the first time in my life smashing an 18yo. I didn't even have sex with 18yo when I was 18, because I didn't lose my virginity till 19. Lol.

I just find it cool because historically since I've been here on the forums, I've always struggled to get any girl under 22 out on a date. I chalk it up to 1) some of these girls get really nervous or 2) my text game just sucked with younger girls, and often I didn't want to deal with their immaturity.

But this summer I had my first 22yo, the hot blonde cheerleader and harley model, and now the 18yo. So I suppose still objectively making progress.

Anyways, this girls cute (we'll call her Archery Girl) just a little more chub but mostly in her hips and butt, and I'm plagued by the bias for petite girls. But she's into the kinkier dynamics and pretty much anything that's taboo. But very intelligent and mature, she started college studying psychology at 14 which we connected on because I started college at 16. Also very respectful, which is like my biggest turn on now. Always asks permission and says thank you, leaves her phone out of sight when connecting with people, and considerate of my time.

Had her over for 3 hours, littered her with marks, fucked her for a couple rounds. Tried something new today where I bondage taped her ankles together, pushed her legs towards her chest, and then bondaged her arms underneath, giving full access to her pussy. But then I made her hold the magic wand in her bondaged hands while I went over to the other side of the bed and fucked her face. So we had a good time. Also had to laugh when she told me that her parents still track her location, so apparently she told them she was going to her best friends house.

Think shes going to be a great harem girl. Plan on taking her to Shrine with me next weekend.

Also, probably get to see if I have a fun conversation with my roommate tomorrow since I very loudly spanked her ass with a crop and paddle. There's no way he didn't hear that.
 
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Bman said:
I just find it cool because historically since I've been here on the forums, I've always struggled to get any girl under 22 out on a date. I chalk it up to 1) some of these girls get really nervous or 2) my text game just sucked with younger girls, and often I didn't want to deal with their immaturity.
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@Bman

Can totally relate to this - I recently tried to get a 19 year-old nursing student out on a date and she was initially up for it, but had a hard time reconciling the age gap. She would have been 8 years old when I joined the police and just been born by the time I entered high-school, which I think dawned on her and made her panic pahaha

I made the decision not to meet her in the end as she kept leaving me on 'read' and I could tell she was having a hard time deciding and it was causing her a lot of stress, so I made the decision for her in the interests of her wellbeing.

Her parents also monitored her and she said she couldn't lie to them, so causing a family breakup was a bit of a worry for me on that one as well as having an angry dad come hunting for me!

It is a pity really, as older guys tend to be more experienced, knowledgeable and are in a position to treat them better and give positive, life-enhancing experiences, like you did with this girl

I imagine she will definitely keep coming back for more and more

I hear so many stories from girls about when they were younger with younger partners how they were immature and didn't treat them right, and just didn't have the knowledge or maturity to handle and overcome problems in the relationship which just lead to misery on all sides

Thanks for sharing this story Bman, I'd been looking forward to reading this one and I think the entire forum would agree with me that we all learn something new every time you post 💯

Your dominance guides are also fire 🔥

Spider 🕷️
 
Bman said:
and she told me how timid guys are and how she's faked it with them when they are being "dominant"
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Ah the "alpha macho" display and girls get along with it just for sake.

The amount of shit tests those folks fail...
 
So after a recommendation from @AskTheDom to start posting more erotica and photos on my FL, I've been consistently posting one photo a day and I've posted two of my lay reports repurposed for the female gaze.

Couple days ago I added a hot petite girl with massive, well rounded tits (seriously, they wonderful looking) that has a 60k following, which is usually the kind of girl that wouldn't add a cold friend request. After she accepted my friend request she immediately liked one of my most recent photos I posted.

Today I posted the lay report/erotica from when I first met Politics Girl and how she repeatedly begged (like really hardcore begged) and called me Daddy. When I post them as eroticas I put a little note at the top that says "this was is a real story, but the name has been changed for privacy". She apparently took a liking...

FLI.pngFLP.png

Got her number. The funnel is working. 2025 is about to be a one hell of year at this rate.

Also, it's working on the business front, too. Just got paid by a coaching client this morning.

2 years of work, coming to fruition. Keep your head down and just put in the work, boys.
 
Bman said:
Got her number. The funnel is working. 2025 is about to be a one hell of year at this rate.

Also, it's working on the business front, too. Just got paid by a coaching client this morning.

2 years of work, coming to fruition. Keep your head down and just put in the work, boys.
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Let’s goooooo 💪💪
 
Bman said:
So I figured I'd drop it here for you gents: Manhandling Guide: Techniques & Tips for Rougher Sex & BDSM Play.
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Yessssssssssss I didn't know you had this website. I signed up to download your contracts and materials -- thanks so much man. Your guides and writings have been an inspiration for my own deviances and advice that I've given for others. Easily one of the most valuable dudes around, thanks again

Edit: Gonna share this article with a particular ladyfriend of mine too
 
Making Big Moves

We are 17 days into 2025 and I feel like I running this shit like roadrunner.

Where to start?

Book chapters are coming along nicely. It's funny because both @AskTheDom and I have to take periodic breaks from writing because we're too busy living the stuff we're writing about. Lol.

Archery Girl just started classes again at college and the Russian Princess has been sick with a virus going around, but I'm waiting for both their schedules to get sorted out soon and probably setting up a threesome with them at some point.

In the local kink community, I was approached by one the other group leaders here that will be stepping down and asked if I'd like to take over the group. They get a little more attendance to their munches than I do, but it's typically the older crowd and old guard, but it's got a good vibe. And status is status. So I'm meeting with them next week for that.

I also decided to go out on a limb and setup a "leader's munch" to bring together all the leaders here in the local community to meet, network, and discuss what we'd like to see here. It's like a kinky town hall, if you will. I was a little nervous to post the event for it because 1) I'm the small guy here and 2) If it flopped, I'd look like a fool. But it's already got some traction from other leaders in the community. That's set for the start of Feb so we will see how that goes.

On to the bigger news. That 60k influencer girl and I have been texting, sexting, sending me pictures, and she's pretty much in the bag. She's posted statuses like this when I go to sleep or working and tell her I can't text her...
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She's actually quite sweet. And kinky as fuck. Anyways, she gets back this weekend so I'll see her (and tap her) next week.

The real news with that though is she already asked me if I'd shoot content with her which I told her I'm down to do. See the thing is with these OF girls, you connect with one and then you connect with all their contacts and it becomes a flywheel.

Well, I decided to take that further. I contacted another local girl to start shooting general content. Was supposed to meet her Wed, but I got a fever so I had to reschedule. She's a petite, 5'4, 110lb girl and just starting to do content.

Then I contacted another very cute 22yo and we're getting dates set to shoot edu-porn content for some of the skills I write about in my guides. Basically sex masterclasses, so I can sell those on my site.

And then, I was feeling kind of bold early the other morning, and decided what the hell, I'm going to reach out to this blonde bombshell from Chicago. Yes she interested me because she's very hot, but moreso because she had a writing talking about looking for being in a 24/7 dynamic, which is something I'd like at some point. So I reached out and to my surprise was answered back quickly, and pretty easily got her number. I learned she's top 1% of OF and models for Playboy. She also has a really wild story about how she got into kink thats in fact a little traumatizing. We figured out a 24/7 dynamic wouldn't work for us because she wants a monogamous one and gets jealous, and I'm hard non-monogamy, but we're still making a plan to have her come down to TX and shoot content with me and have a few days of debauchery in pseudo-24/7 lifestyle. Have a video chat date with her tomorrow to talk about it.

Tis her...
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I was a little reserved about the idea of flying a girl out to me. My ego thinks it's cool, but all I could think was I can get plenty of girls right here, easily, so why would I pay money to bring me one. Beauty does not hold as much value for me anymore, because it can be easily attained. See, I was pretty willing to fly Politics Girl or Bumble Girl out to see me when I was traveling because they have something far more rare and valuable: that spark, that 1 in 10 connection as Holden likes to call it. That I'd pay money for.

But I was willing to entertain the idea if she was both attractive and we were lining up a lot in lifestyles, because lets be real, my lifestyle is getting more and more polarized and niched as I continue. But now, this is not only pleasure, but business and it's a investment in opening social doors and bringing in revenue. Regardless, we'll both still split the bills for the trip, which wouldn't be that much anyways. And eventually, I'm not going to care about the cost if I'm making enough money from it. All in due time.

Finally, I was feeling even more cocky after that, and there was this sexy redhead in my local area that I'd been friends with almost since I started my FL, but had never reached out because I (rightfully) assumed I didn't have enough to get her attention if I did message her. So I reached out on the same day as the Playboy girl, and again to my surprise, she told me she'd creeped my profile before and was happy to be connecting with me now. We've got a date set for tomorrow.

What I've been finding really interesting is it seems none of these girls ever get treated normal. Either they are pedestalized or they are looked at with vitriol. When I'm actually talking and texting them, I treat them just as I have every single other girl that I might have just swiped on an app with. I flirt and tease and be dominant with them, but I also show them some respect, dignity, and empathy. And let me tell you, that shit goes a long way. I'm also just being me, as in I'm no longer faking the mindsets we preach like abundance, because I actually have abundance, and shit to do, and I got other people to see or things to be doing and I literally can't give you all my attention. It's impossible.

Anyways, long term, for a guy to really make it in content, he has to be fucking a variety of girls, and I don't really think that's a problem for me. Tap one girl, tap her contacts, get plenty of social proof to post, get references, and fuck your way to the top. I'd also like to rent one of these live/work studios in Austin that have a large open space on the bottom floor and apartment on the top floor that I could turn the bottom floor into a content/dungeon space and could do shoots, play parties, teach classes, pro dom sessions, and coach couples in person. Plus rent it out for other creators. It would be like my own Playboy mansion...

That's just a dream though. Right now, I'm just focused on the deliverables: writing book chapters, writing articles, finding content partners and so on. No need to get caught up in the future. It will come in time. Just do what I do best, put in the work.

Oh, I hate to say this, but if this all leads to where I think it might, there may come a time at the end or this year or next that I'll need to remove this log. To be clear, I'm not ashamed of anything I've done here. And I've always tried to make my stuff as valuable to the community as possible. But it would bar far to easy to screenshot something out of context in my log and use it for defamation. It's shitty and I wish the social game didn't work that way, but it does. But I'm still small potatoes for now, so read the material while you can. I'll keep it up for as long as possible.

Keep kicking ass, gents.
 
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This reminds me of something I did last year where I tried to do something extraordinary with low odds of success every day, the logic being that if you do something every day with a 99% failure rate, you'll still end up with 3-4 amazing things/stories in a year. Reaching out to a really big player in your industry, having an outrageous ask, shooting your shot with the hottest/most unapproachable girl in the venue, asking girls for foursomes or referring me to their friends... That little project of mine got me into some interesting places and situations. I should start that idea up again, I forgot about it.

I loved this entry, it's a reminder to think big. Next level stuff
 
@Holden thanks for that reminder, it's a good perspective to keep in mind as I keep moving forward here. Even if one or all of these things fall through, as long as I keep shooting shots, one is bound to go through. The hidden benefit is if you keep making shots, each subsequent one is easier because of the inflated confidence. I think GLL talked about that in regard to cold approach and social momentum.
 
Bman said:
Anyways, long term, for a guy to really make it in content, he has to be fucking a variety of girls, and I don't really think that's a problem for me. Tap one girl, tap her contacts, get plenty of social proof to post, get references, and fuck your way to the top.​
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As someone who isn't as nearly sexually experienced as most other people on this forum, I feel it's incredibly valuable to me to have a window through which to read about non-conventional sexual experiences, techniques and ideas. By that "window" I'm referring to your posts. I'm interested in building a satisfying sex life and I find the BDSM/non-conventional stuff really fascinating and it's greatly extended my conceptualization of what sex can be like. Thank you for that, Bman!

This was probably one of my favourite posts on this forum I've read so far. Your content is a gold mine and I genuinely appreciate your humility.​
 
Terraqua said:
Thank you for that, Bman!
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You're very welcome.

It's certainly part of the reason I write it. Truth be told, I first got into my marriage long ago because it was "just what people do" meaning I had no conceptualization or mental models to look at that could show me things could be different.

I didn't discover the concept of non-monogamy until 6 years into my relationship with my ex and trying to change the fundamental structure of the relationship at that point is pretty difficult to do.

I'll be forever grateful that I happened to come across Andy (KYIL) content right when I was getting divorced because I never jived entirely with either PUA or redpill advice, but it was the only models I knew of that were out there that might help me with dating. Then I seen Andy's Tinder Guide and listened to his podcast and was like "Oh. Holy shit. I could just be honest. No games. No bullshit." Also seeing him do threesomes and BDSM with his girlfriend was eye opening, and that the girls were all ok with it.

When I joined the forums, I literally mined the fuck out guys logs that were similar to me in some way or had some piece of the lifestyle that I wanted. I just started Frankensteining my own model along the way.

Now, here I am just trying to be a model for others. A big reason AskTheDom and I are writing this book is because we know we had very little good materials for BDSM in the beginning.

So I'm glad you find it enlightening. All I ask is you take action and put it into practice. That's where the real magic happens.
 
So looks like the Chicago girl will fall through. Got dates picked and everything, text and called to confirm with her yesterday and nothing. It was a long shot. I know she was hardcore looking for monogamy, for all I know she was scooped up. Who knows. What I take away from the experience is the confidence to keep making big shots like that. Onwards, there will be more.

Archery girl also let me know she's planning to go exclusive with someone. I have good feelings she'll be back though. But as quickly as one 18yo went out, another 19yo came in. We will call her Swing Girl. This girl DM'ed me her instagram without me even responding and asked if I wanted to meetup. When I messaged her on IG, she asked again, before I prompted a time/location. She's beautiful brown haired, brown eyed latina. I went on a date with her Wednesday and she told me she's the first guy she's ever met up with from FL. I told her she was so lucky she got me and not some fucking weirdo, because she just threw everything at me basically. But she said she had read my whole profile and looked at my website, so she felt pretty confident. Lately I've been doing 2 dates, but she was very attractive and wore a skin tight dress to the date so I pitched a pull on the first shortly after making out with her some. She was nervous and said no but it was "very tempting" for which I said "I'm sure it is." I didn't push and just held eye contact, and she said "ooo your dangerous". I laid back after that and just finished the date. She's coming over Sunday though. My favorite part was her most recent video on her IG was her getting baptized. Haha

Took the redhead to Shrine with me last Sunday. We'll call her Space Girl. Told her to wear all red, which she delivered with a gorgeous red corset and I wore my 3 piece white suit, except I swapped out the white vest for a red and black paisley vest that people always comment on. We had a fun evening just watching and lightly playing with each other. Then I drove her back home to her place - except I finger fucked her with her legs wide open on the dash the whole way home. Then had sex with her back at her place. Was a fun night. My favorite part about her is that I gave her a few rules for going to the event with me, first and foremost being that she can't cause any drama from getting jealous if other girls talk/flirt with me or a partner of mine is there, and she said she would never because she likes being a cuck queen. Fuck I've always wanted a girl like that.

Was also supposed to see 60k Girl on Wednesday but her car isn't getting looked at till today and she lives an hour outside of the city. She is still extremely eager and I have no worries there.

It'll be nice to have Swing Girl and Space Girl actually in Austin. The Russian Princess, Archery Girl, and 60k Girl are all out in the surrounding cities, so logistics just fucks schedules all the time. Swing Girl also seems like a great girl to take out on normie dates considering she's young and has a pretty open schedule. I'd really like to just do some normie date stuff.
 
Bman said:
So looks like the Chicago girl will fall through. Got dates picked and everything, text and called to confirm with her yesterday and nothing. It was a long shot. I know she was hardcore looking for monogamy, for all I know she was scooped up. Who knows.
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Sucks brother but you pointed it out correctly, another door opens and your FL work will just yield more and more.

This seems like just a flake with the informations I have, maybe she will come around at the next ovulation period lol
 
Was one of those weeks where everyone cancels because *life*. Russian princess canceled Tuesday due to school projects for her PhD, 60k girl preemptively canceled on account of a kiddo with a fever.

Then Swing Girl was supposed to come over yesterday and basically no call no showed. Figured she was being super flakey, didn't even text her and was like "what a damn shame, you were so pretty, why do you have to go and fuck up like this?"

I got annoyed, so I turned on Hinge and Feeld after not having them on for months. Pulled a number from Hinge without paying and a number from Feeld after going through the stack of likes I had sitting there. That felt pretty good to go from "hungry", do a little hunting, and can turn right back off.

Well turns out Swing Girl had fell asleep after work. Lol. She texted me, right after I was on the apps, apologizing. She came over today right after work and we had a lovely time. Hot, but she's going to need a lot of training in the bedroom to make it more enjoyable to me. Can't really fault her, she's 19. Did learn she has an age gap kink and dated a 37 yo for 8 months before me who had 4 kids, one of which was just a year younger than her. Lol

In other news, I was hand the reigns to another munch group here that's been active for over 13 years. I'm co leading with a couple other people. It's attendance is usually more than mine, but generally skews to the older crowd.

For my munch aimed at the younger crowd, I decided to try something new to keep it fresh. I'm going to change the location each time so people can try new bars/places each time. I'm also trying to pick activity type places to make it a more fun social scene besides the old lets sit at a bar together. So our next one is at an arcade bar and the one after that is at a pub that has lawn games and pickle ball courts.

The leaders munch is this Sunday. It's got a lot of RSVPs from people I've never even met. Some real old veterans in the community. I'm sure that'll at least make me connections or open doors for me that I didn't know existed.

Digitally, some of my writings have been consistently bringing in new engagement on FL.

My pictures have been hit or miss. I have like a core group of women that like every photo. Then some photos attract more attention. What I've learned so far about them:
  • Photos with erotic story captions are good for building a fantasy and you'll usually get a few comments about them.
  • Natural light photos really out perform colored light ones.
  • Face photos do pretty well.
  • If you have a hard look, drop in a few smiling photos. They love smiles.
  • Shoulders, arms, and forearms attract a lot of attention. No surprise.
  • Photos gripping your cock and teasing, not so much showing the whole thing get more new attention.
  • That said, a good angled cockshot from below (the angle she sees it) gets attention (and sometimes dms) from the women who are most warm in terms of conversion. It's actually a good way to kind of test the buying temp of your list.
  • Boudior photos of just the girl attract more direcr male engagement, but they pay benefits later because they always get mentioned by girls in later interactions. Example - Swing Girl just asked if I'm going to take photos of her one day, she also mentioned how good the photos were on our date. Russian Princess also was asking about it earlier this week. Basically they recognize competency and also want to be a part of your portfolio and showcased as part of your status.
  • Only have a couple photos of a girl performing a sexual act on me, and they are old (but they still bring in engagement) but plan on testing these too. Have a feeling it will bring more direct female engagement and then the after effects of wanting to be a part of the portfolio.
  • Also yet to test play photos, but plan on taking some boudior photos in shibari harnesses I do on some of my girls. Swing Girl has a gorgeous mid riff with her petite frame and belly button piercing, so I'll try with her first.
With munches, about 2x writings per week, and daily photos, I consistently wake up everyday with a stack notifications, some days in the 30s. Then a steady drip all day, don't know how many because I check and clear them frequently during the day. DMs are still infrequent, one every few days, and not all of them are obviously about wanting to fuck me.

Friend count is about to cross 600, 80% women. Follower count at 450 and steadily growing. Have a feeling it will surpass friends soon (because I only add attractive women or people I'm actually friends with in the community).

That's all for now. I'll let you all know if something comes of the leaders munch.
 
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Hey guys. I'm in the middle of proof editing the manuscript for the book right now. I was just finishing up chapter 9 on love & dominance. I wanted share this short excerpt because I feel like all of us could use this reminder from time to time as people who always want to keep improving.

---

How to Feel More Love Towards Yourself​

If you’ve been doing the work in these chapters, you’re likely becoming someone you can be proud of. But pride and love are not the same thing. Loving yourself isn’t about what you accomplish or the circumstances you find yourself in—it’s about recognizing and embracing the immutable part of yourself that remains worthy of love, no matter what.

Too many people approach personal development from a place of self-hatred. You may have picked up this book because, in some way, you believe you need to become a Dominant man before you can love or accept yourself. Brandon and Mario were no different.

But if you don’t learn to love yourself as you are, no amount of achievements will ever be enough. You’ll reach milestone after milestone, change countless things about yourself, and still find flaws to fix—endlessly trying to fill an ever-expanding void with more “personal development.” While we wholeheartedly advocate learning new skills and becoming more effective in life, we do not advocate self-loathing as your driving force.

Much of the work in learning to love yourself happens as you separate the three types of Self we discussed in Chapter 8—particularly when you begin identifying yourself on the level of being rather than just how you look or what you accomplish.

For Brandon, overcoming his deepest insecurities—believing he wasn’t enough and that he didn’t matter—led him to a powerful shortcut to self-love: loving others first.

Specifically, he trained himself to stop judging people—for anything.

There’s a crucial difference between judgment and discernment:

  • Judgment is based on moral or social norms, labeling people or actions as “good” or “bad.”
  • Discernment is about assessing the effectiveness of someone or something in achieving a specific outcome.
The way you judge others is the same way you’ll inadvertently judge yourself. If you go around labeling people as bad, evil, or unlovable for their actions, at some point, you’ll apply those same labels to yourself. But if you start seeing people as simply less skillful at navigating life’s challenges, you create space to separate who they are from what they do.

And this is massively important.

When you stop judging others, you eventually stop judging yourself. You begin to see yourself as a human being, deserving of love just like anyone else—no matter what you do or don’t accomplish.

You are enough, just as you are, to be loved.

What’s funny is that the more you extend love and understanding to others, the more they’ll reflect it back to you. This external affirmation will reinforce the most important love of all—the love you have for yourself.
 
Update

Girls
Sometimes I feel like I need to put these girls in project management software to keep track.
  • Russian Princess: She got a primary partner, who was then getting jealous (most likely because having seen him, he's not on par with me) so she's been dealing with that and hasn't been able to come over. Happens.
  • Swing Girl: Everything was great, we were chatting on a Saturday quite a bit, planned for her to come over the next day. No call no show, then ghosted. I was a little taken back by what seemed like a total 180 out of nowhere. I was kind of pissed for a few days, mainly cause I liked the girl, and found it pretty disrespectful. Sent Andy's "didn't expect you to ghost" text. Still had nothing. Welp, good as gone I suppose. She's still friends on my FB, and she posted going to beach town on Vday, so I just assumed some other guy swooped in. She's barely 20, so I can't expect emotional maturity from her. Haha
  • Archery Girl: Ran into her and you monogamous partner yesterday. We hugged, I shook hands with the guy, then just let them be. Texted her it was good to see her yesterday, which she replied to.
  • 60k Girl: Out for training till Mid March. Still eager.
  • Space Girl: Girl is just going through too much from a pretty traumatic thing with her ex being killed pretty much mafia style. It's a wild story. Anyways, she is really not in a place to be seeing anyone.
  • Book Girl: New girl that pulled from Hinge in my post being pissed off from Swing Girl. She's super sweet, very pretty, blonde, blue-eyed, and little nerdy which is cute. She's a tad curvy/thicker, but still fills out a dress well. I seen her pictures from 4-5 years ago when she was skinnier and she was a stereotypical looking blonde sorority girl. She's getting attached pretty quickly, even sending me a text the other day that she deleted her Hinge but didn't want me to think she was unmatching. I'm letting it happen, but I'm also trying to give her exit ramps by trying to be very clear about my lifestyle and non-monogamous so she doesn't hurt herself. She's still buying in. She's new to BDSM but seems really interested in the deeper parts of a D/s dynamic. So I'm letting that one build. Her personality is great. Helping her lose 10-15lbs as her Dom to be in line with I like is easy; changing her personality would be hard so it's nice that is already on point. Bonus is she lives 10 minutes away.
Some others to note:
  • New girl from Fet read a ton of my writings, wanted to meet at Shrine but ended up coming way later as I was leaving. She's very respectful (which I'm finding out is very high priority for me). She's pretty invested to meet, downside is she lives in an outskirt city and can't drive. So we'll figure that out.
  • Politics Girl is coming up on the 4-5 month mark since I last spoke to her and she was in that mono relationship. So I'll prob reach out in March. I'd love to be seeing her again.
  • Ran into Psychedelics Girl at Shrine last night. We just cordially hugged a couple times and she introduced me to her friends that were first timers there.
  • Went on a date with a girl from my munch. She was awkward about not sitting back on the couch and not holding eye contact much, plus she had to rush to another commitment after the date, so I wasn't laying on the seduction very thick. Date wasn't entirely platonic, but it wasn't sexually charged either. Don't expect much of it, but who knows.
Content Girls:
  • Met up with a girl to do educational content with for the brand, and had to meet with her and her Dom which was just a funny and new experience. He was actually a super chill dude, just has a bad taste in his mouth from other people in the scene here and other collaborators who've tried working with his girl and were just manipulative. Anyways, we're all good to start shooting stuff together in March. We're starting more tame, but as long as everything goes well, we'll be doing more intense stuff later.
  • Plans to meet with another girl later this week who is just starting doing content. We're just doing traditional OF content.
Ok now the wild card out of nowhere. For those who have been following my log since the beginning, you may recall OG OF Girl, the top .02% OF girl that I became friends with and pretty much helped me gain some pre-selection points and start building status in the scene here. We made it as far as kissing, but logistics and her having a boyfriend, made it difficult to ever make it go anywhere. Eventually I just threw in the towel.

Well last Shrine I briefly ran into OG OF Girl while waiting for my date, Space Girl, to arrive. Literally just said hi and asked how she'd been since I was away, then forgot about her because I was with my date for the night (pre-selection, baby). Yesterday, I get a text from her before this month's Shrine was about to start. She wanted to see if I'd like meet and catch up. Asked if she was going to be there that night, and she said no. So after the event on the way home, I texted her. Found out she's moving in a few months AND she broke up with her boyfriend. So it seems to me she saw the perfect little window to have some fun before she left. The plan is to meet with her and feel out the vibe. I'm not going to be surprised if she tells me something along the lines of her boyfriend wouldn't let her see me outside the events or something before.

Munches

Leader's munch went stellar. I met a few of the old time veterans who ran dungeons and were big names in the scene here before covid hit. I shook a lot of hands I'd never met before. Everyone there was very grateful I started it up as well. I don't know what kind of doors this will open for me, but I ran into one the leaders who was there at Shrine yesterday and the amount of respect and treating me like a peer, rather than just a regular person, was pretty cool. We talked some shop a bit.

Unanimously, everyone there wants another dedicated dungeon space, not just a club we take over once a month. So I'm just letting that marinate in the back of my head and keeping my eye open for an opportunity to deliver that somehow. The person who solves the biggest problem gets the biggest rewards.

Also ran my first munch for the other munch that I took over. Went well, and again, meeting lots of people I hadn't known well before. I met an older Dom who's a well off entrepreneur, multiple businesses and a 24/7 submissive and looking to add another. We talked and I had a couple connections, one for business and one personal, I though would help him. So I put him in touch. He was extremely grateful and was glad to have met me. Again, trying to open unforetold doors and put people in my back pocket.

Musings

AskTheDom and I meet every couple weeks about the book. He told me that I was going to eventually reach a point where girls are pretty much on tap, and I'm going to have to start saying no a lot more often. Combine that with getting a little frustrated with girls here and there lately, and also wanting some more in depth relationships, I was just thinking about what the things were that were non-negotiables and would hard filter girls out - as in, they could look at them and filter themselves out.

For example, on my FetLife bio I mention one of the qualities I look for in a sub is being "healthy" and detail that meaning "I’m fit and very health conscious and expect my subs to be as well, although the occasional guilty pleasure is warranted." What's been interesting is all my dates recently when they show up for the date say something like "I know you don't drink, but is it ok if I do?" and when I had sex with Swing Girl she asked if she could hit her vape after and said "I wanted to smoke on our date, but left it in the car because I didn't want to make a bad impression."

However, I recognize that you do have to accept your partner to some degree. They are human and all humans have flaws. No ones perfect and if you go hunting for unicorns, you're going to be disappointed all the time. So I wanted to have shortlist, something I could easily just check any girl against in my head. This isn't to rule her out immediately, but it does help me prioritize girls who do hit these, and also illuminates that if one of them is pissing me off, it's likely she's not hitting one of these.

So my short list in order of importance is:
  1. Non-starters: Feminine, Beauty, Submissive - if she doesn't have these she's not even on my radar.
  2. Must haves:
    1. Respect (bare minimum is common courtesy)
    2. Open & non-judgmental (to sexuality, alternative relationship styles, and alternative lifestyles)
    3. Time prioritization - I don't expect sexual or emotional exclusivity, but I do expect to be made priority above other commitments (within reason)
    4. Willing to grow, growth mindset
    5. Healthy
    6. Honest, Vulnerable Communication style
I actually had lots more qualities, but I realized most of those I can nurture, or they will just default have them because of the type of girl I attract. These are the ones that cut the good from the best, for me right now in my life. Just from observing where I got frustrated in the past, it's usually a misalignment of one of those. This will probably change and adapt, but at least I'm bringing awareness to it.
 
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