Self respect, successful, comfortable in my own skin. Basically I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and actually love who I see. I want to be the “man” that I envision. It’s not a construct that is as easy as a few words. I doubt I could explain it in a way that will make sense to anyone but myself.
Currently I’m working on all of that a little at a time. I make damn good money so that’s not a concern. I am very intelligent. I know I am good in bed. Physically I am attractive. However there is something missing that I haven’t quite figured out in order to respect myself.
You don't keep the promises you make to yourself, or you're literally not doing anything meaningful with your life. IMO, those are the only two things you need.
If its the first, stop. Whenever you make a promise to yourself, do not let yourself break it for any reason. If you tell yourself you're going to the gym after work, but then hurt your leg at work - go anyway. Even if you just sit on the bench press machine and go home 30 mins later, that's keeping a promise. Stop focusing on it "not counting", there's nothing wrong if some of your workouts aren't that great, but there is a HUGE problem if you can't believe your own promises.
The second one is more ephemeral, but you have to make yourself do things you're scared of. You're on that journey now, but it needs to be taken further and for a decent period of time. Write down things you want to do that scare you, then select the scariest one you are ACTUALLY WILLING AND ABLE to do. Just keep repeating that process. Usually, its going to involve some heavy cringe and social awkwardness. Plowing through that resistance is what gives you self respect and after you get desensitized to people's mockery and succeeding in spite of it, you reach a new level of comfort in your own skin.
Things like dancing, cold approach, improv, bdsm, dirty talk, and toastmasters are a good start. Anything that requires being willing to look like a total fool.
