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100 Days, 100 Approaches

LoserNoMore

LoserNoMore

Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2023
I am starting a challenge this summer where I will be approaching one woman a day (as outlined in Andy's "1 Approach a Day" post) for 100 consecutive days, starting this coming Sunday, May 26 and ending Labour Day (Monday, September 2).

Some rules to start:
1. If I attempt to stop a woman and she ignores me, that will count as an approach. However, merely saying hello does not count. In order for it to count as an approach, I must at least make an attempt to stop her and talk to her.
2. If I approach the same woman more than once, that also counts.
3. If for any reason I do not make an approach on a given day, I must do two the following day. If I miss two days in a row, I must do three the next day, and so on.

First approach will be on Sunday.
 
Sunday, May 26
Day #1 / Approach #1

Walked to a nearby plaza this morning with shops. I was a little nervous going in. Saw a woman while in front of the grocery store. She had headphones on, but I decided to go for it anyway. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Excuse me, can you hear me?
Her: Yes
Me: I know this is really random, but I saw you and I had to come say hi. I thought you were very pretty
Her: Thank you.
Me: So, my name's Sean. Your name?
Her: [her name] *shakes my hand*
Me: So, what are you up to right now?

We chatted for roughly 30 seconds after that before she said she had a boyfriend, but then she said "that's so sweet", which made me very happy despite the rejection.

One down, 99 to go...

PS: Feel free to give constructive criticism as to what I can improve on.
 
Great!

My advice: just make it easy to win.

If you just head out that day and tried, it was a majorly successful day.

Most men, have already lost the war in their head.

They got up that day, intending to do day 1 of the AA program.

They got up that day, with the vague notion that today will be the day they sign up to a community like ours, and turn their life around.

Life then happens. And they are lost in the haze.

You not only started a log, but did day 1 of the AA program.

Something 99.9% of men will never find the sheer strength and fortitude to do.

That is why, for you, 50% of the battle has already been won.

Enjoy the ride

-MAC
 
Sorry for the delay in updating...

Monday, May 27
Day #2 / Approach #2

Yesterday was a rainy day, so I went to a shopping mall to do my approach. This time, I tried an indirect approach. Started by asking a woman for directions to the food court, then told her "I have to be honest, I thought you were very pretty and had to come say hi". We chatted for about a minute, and I got her number! Unfortunately, when I texted her she didn't reply.

Numbers: 1

Approach #3 coming later today.
 
Tuesday, May 28
Day #3 / Approach #3

It was raining on and off today, so I bused to another shopping mall (I'll be rotating between three different malls on rainy days).

Yesterday I was able to approach a woman as soon as I entered the mall, but today it took a bit of walking around to find anyone worth approaching. Eventually I approached a girl with two of her friends...

...and it turned out she was only 15! :oops:

Oh well, it was a shot in the dark.
 
Wednesday, May 29
Day #4 / Approach #4

Went to the same plaza as day #1. Approached a woman heading into the grocery store, but she immediately revealed she had a boyfriend.
 
Thursday, May 30
Day #5 / Approach #5

Went to the same plaza as yesterday, but spent a LONG time wandering around looking for a woman to approach. Eventually I found a woman coming out of the grocery store. She had just gotten off an 11-hour shift at work, but she had a boyfriend. Still, I was relieved to have gotten it done after all that wandering around.
 
Friday, May 31
Day #6 / Approach #6

Went to the same plaza again. Approached a woman walking into a store. She was going to buy a pair of sunglasses. She asked how old I was. I replied saying I was 30, then she told me she was 18. I asked if that was too big an age gap. It didn't matter, because she had a boyfriend, but she said it was "sweet" that I approached her. So I've been getting mostly rejections so far (as can be expected), but also mostly positive reactions.
 
Saturday, June 1
Day #7 / Approach #7

Met a friend for coffee today, and on the way there I approached a woman sitting on a bench eating. Didn't realize she was on the phone at first, so once I did, I made it quick and asked for her number so we could hang out sometime, but she "already had someone".

One week in the books, and one number. Not too bad if I say so myself.
 
Sunday, June 2
Day #8 / Approach #8

Went to the ByWard Market in downtown Ottawa today, and there I approached a group of two women (my first 2-set!). They both had just gotten off work at a nearby bar, but they both had boyfriends.
 
Monday, June 3
Day #9 / Approach #9

Went back to the ByWard Market today and approached a woman who was with someone older (her mother, perhaps?). The older person she was with called it "sweet" that I approached her. However, it turned out she was visiting from Thunder Bay, in Northern Ontario (a long way away).
 
Tuesday, June 4
Day #10 / Approach #10

Went to the plaza near my place and saw two women sitting outside a store. Approached one of them. She worked at the store and was on her break at work, but she had a boyfriend.

10 approaches down, one number. That's right in line with my expectations (I'm aiming for a 10% success rate).
 
Wednesday, June 5
Day #11

Okay, due to unforeseen circumstances, I will have to skip today. I will do two approaches tomorrow to make up for it.
 
LoserNoMore said:
Wednesday, June 5
Day #11

Okay, due to unforeseen circumstances, I will have to skip today. I will do two approaches tomorrow to make up for it.
Click to expand...
From this point on, you should just do two approaches a day. You're already out, and it's not that much harder to do two than one. You've also shown that you're able to be consistent.
 
LoserNoMore said:
Tuesday, June 4
Day #10 / Approach #10

Went to the plaza near my place and saw two women sitting outside a store. Approached one of them. She worked at the store and was on her break at work, but she had a boyfriend.

10 approaches down, one number. That's right in line with my expectations (I'm aiming for a 10% success rate).
Click to expand...
Love the consistency! Keep it going
 
pancakemouse said:
From this point on, you should just do two approaches a day. You're already out, and it's not that much harder to do two than one. You've also shown that you're able to be consistent.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the advice, I think that's what I'll do. Of course, that'll make it 188 approaches by the end of the 100 days, which doesn't quite roll off the tongue as easily as 100, but that's the way it goes, I guess.

Here's the math:
89 days remaining * 2 approaches per day = 178 approaches to go + 10 approaches already completed = 188 approaches total
 
Thursday, June 6
Day #12

Did both my approaches at a downtown mall today as it was raining very hard.

Approach #11: Approached a woman but she was in a rush as she had lost a guitar and had to find it. Guess I just caught her at a bad time. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Approach #12: Approached a 2-set but both girls were underage (again)! :oops: You'd think I would have learned my lesson from last time...
 
LoserNoMore said:
Thanks for the advice, I think that's what I'll do. Of course, that'll make it 188 approaches by the end of the 100 days, which doesn't quite roll off the tongue as easily as 100, but that's the way it goes, I guess.

Here's the math:
89 days remaining * 2 approaches per day = 178 approaches to go + 10 approaches already completed = 188 approaches total
Click to expand...
Then you just do some days with three approaches.

And then you do four. Then five.

And then you realize that this entire exercise was a social construct and to get better, you need to be constantly pushing yourself to do as many approaches as possible, as fast as possible.

There are no participation trophies in cold approach. Doing one approach a day for 100 days is really not going to get you anywhere except for patting yourself on the back that you did the very minimum.
 
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