Rook
Member
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2021
Hi there everyone, I'm Jamie. Many of you may have seen the post about beating approach anxiety by Andy. There's a program he links on Good Looking Loser that I've decided to start. I read that posting my logs here would be a good idea also, so here I am sharing my adventures with you guys. Hope you enjoy.
Already started posting on GLL,
Going to mega post all my current days into this first topic. Post 3 (day 11), is currently my favourite day.
POST 1:
Hi there GLL community,
I know this doesn't bode well for me, but I may have skipped the day 2 stuff and simply went to day four. I know I'm not suppose to skip drills, so I am now amending my mistake.
Days 4-8: These days have been a lot of fun somehow. Most days in my life so many beautiful women have passed me by and I've felt so disconnected from the world around me, trapped in a bubble away from them. It has been nice to bring some of them into my world, if only for 15 seconds to ask for the time. I have talked to more girls in these few days, if only briefly, then I have in a very long time.
Overall the drills have been easy. I've noticed if the area I am in is super crowded I get nervous going up and talking to people as I fear getting in other people's way. It seems easy for people to ignore you when it's crowded.
Day 9: In contrast, today's activity I performed in the morning when it was still quite in the shopping centre I was at. This gave a much more peaceful, somewhat less rushed / personal touch to the interactions. I found I blasted straight through today's drills. I was particularly proud of one approach I did where I walked up to a fairly attractive girl and asked for time and directions. She had no idea where I was talking about and I said 'Do you like it', despite being nervous as hell and the question kinda not making sense. Even though the reaction isn't what you are looking for, she kept it smooth and gave a reply that I can't remember. This kinda made me think she was engaged in the conversation with me instead of seeing it as an inconvenience in her day as some people have shown.
Really excited for day 10.
To anyone else reading my journal, hi. Hope to keep this one going. I am currently in Australia so lockdown has been crazy. Trying to not let that stop me though.
POST 2:
Day 10 !!
Today's drill was as follows:
Time,
Time, is there a cinema near by,
Time, is there a cinema near by, seen any good movies lately?
Today was a lot of fun. It felt like I actually had some genuine engagement from the people I talked to. Again, I know the reactions don't matter, but it was still nice to see people respond positively to me. I approached all 15 people, I tried to make the 3rd person of each set someone reasonably attractive, but couldn't always. I actually found that the more attractive people responded better to me for some reason. They were more happy to be talked to, perhaps this is due to them being approached more in their life.
I blasted through this day, but for some reason the last set took me a really long time. I think this is due to me being really nervous about people seeing me approach different people and ask the same questions to them. I get really nervous about that. Perhaps something to work on?
I found the drill really easy, time, is there a cinema near by. This part was pretty standard and people where always happy to help. When it came to the third part, seen any good movies lately, I would give an honest smile and look them in eye. Again, I found the more attractive people where the most receptive to this question, like they wanted to help me or even just have a conversation.
I thought today was easier than day 9's drills as day 9 had the opportunity for the conversation to not make sense (time, do you know where [restaurant] is, do you like it) , which was a bit more daunting. Might retry that day and aim to simply ask the last question to everyone who says they don't know where the restaurant is.
Thanks to anyone who reads this. Excited for day 11.
POST 3:
Day 11 !
Here's the drill that I had on for today:
Time,
Time, do you know if they sell any phones around here,
Time, do you know if they sell any phones around here, what phone do you have,
Time, do you know if they sell any phones around here, what phone do you have, do you like it?
Today ended up being a little crazy. I had a huge range of emotions go through me within the 30 minutes it took me to complete the drill.
To start it off , the first couple of sets went by really quickly. The first four sets went amazingly. The shopping centre I was at had a lot of young people around. Most people were happy to engage in conversation with me.
When first reading today's drill, I thought the 'What phone do you have' seemed like a really difficult/personal question and I thought I would freeze up when asking, however, the opposite was true. The first time I asked the question, the person was happy to tell me and seemed like they wanted to help me make a choice and give their input, this set the tone for the rest of the drills.
As I went through the sets, I noticed a trend that has seemed to continue on from day 10. The more attractive girls that I approach are generally happy to help me and even just happy to be talking to me, whereas the less attractive, or older, girls that I talked to seem a little weirded out by the question. Backwardly, the notion that I COULD be hitting on an attractive girl by asking random questions actually GAVE the questions meaning, but the less attractive / unavailable girls ruled that out of there heads, making the questions seem weird and creepy.
In regards to weird and creepy, on my very last approach I went and talked to an older lady as she was the only person around in the end and I wanted to finish the drills. When I asked for the time, she seemed annoyed that I had even gone up and talked to her, when I continued the question and got to 'What phone do you have' she looked really suspicious like I was going to hack into her Facebook for something, so I apologised and walked away.
That interaction really really made me nervous for a long time after. But the story Chris told today echoed through my head. The story involved him going up to a girl, asking a bunch of questions and getting in return 'What's with all the questions', he then turned around, talked to another girl, said the exact same things, and took her home.
This was 100% the case today. Some of the girls I talked to seemed really happy to be in the conversation. Even got some indicators of interest during conversation (in which I had butterflies for a while afterwards).
Overall a lot happened today. Noticed some trends, got varying reactions, and my first bad one (really glad this was the last one of the day as this may have ruined my whole mood for the drills). I'm even somewhat THANKFUL I had a bad reaction, get me exposed to it.
I've also noticed that near the end of the drills I get something like social exhaustion. Chris talks about social freedom, and I definitely get that as the first few sets fly by (and I'm really really nervous beforehand, but am fine during), but then, the last set rocks up and it's like I'm socially tired and just don't want to do it. Hopefully this is like a muscle and will get stronger with practice.
Thanks for everyone reading this. Learning a lot. These drills make me feel like I'm making progress for once and not just over-reading and making myself more anxious.
THE END.
Thanks for your time ! If anyone actually read this, any obvious improvements on my writing style that I need to address?
Already started posting on GLL,
Going to mega post all my current days into this first topic. Post 3 (day 11), is currently my favourite day.
POST 1:
Hi there GLL community,
I know this doesn't bode well for me, but I may have skipped the day 2 stuff and simply went to day four. I know I'm not suppose to skip drills, so I am now amending my mistake.
Days 4-8: These days have been a lot of fun somehow. Most days in my life so many beautiful women have passed me by and I've felt so disconnected from the world around me, trapped in a bubble away from them. It has been nice to bring some of them into my world, if only for 15 seconds to ask for the time. I have talked to more girls in these few days, if only briefly, then I have in a very long time.
Overall the drills have been easy. I've noticed if the area I am in is super crowded I get nervous going up and talking to people as I fear getting in other people's way. It seems easy for people to ignore you when it's crowded.
Day 9: In contrast, today's activity I performed in the morning when it was still quite in the shopping centre I was at. This gave a much more peaceful, somewhat less rushed / personal touch to the interactions. I found I blasted straight through today's drills. I was particularly proud of one approach I did where I walked up to a fairly attractive girl and asked for time and directions. She had no idea where I was talking about and I said 'Do you like it', despite being nervous as hell and the question kinda not making sense. Even though the reaction isn't what you are looking for, she kept it smooth and gave a reply that I can't remember. This kinda made me think she was engaged in the conversation with me instead of seeing it as an inconvenience in her day as some people have shown.
Really excited for day 10.
To anyone else reading my journal, hi. Hope to keep this one going. I am currently in Australia so lockdown has been crazy. Trying to not let that stop me though.
POST 2:
Day 10 !!
Today's drill was as follows:
Time,
Time, is there a cinema near by,
Time, is there a cinema near by, seen any good movies lately?
Today was a lot of fun. It felt like I actually had some genuine engagement from the people I talked to. Again, I know the reactions don't matter, but it was still nice to see people respond positively to me. I approached all 15 people, I tried to make the 3rd person of each set someone reasonably attractive, but couldn't always. I actually found that the more attractive people responded better to me for some reason. They were more happy to be talked to, perhaps this is due to them being approached more in their life.
I blasted through this day, but for some reason the last set took me a really long time. I think this is due to me being really nervous about people seeing me approach different people and ask the same questions to them. I get really nervous about that. Perhaps something to work on?
I found the drill really easy, time, is there a cinema near by. This part was pretty standard and people where always happy to help. When it came to the third part, seen any good movies lately, I would give an honest smile and look them in eye. Again, I found the more attractive people where the most receptive to this question, like they wanted to help me or even just have a conversation.
I thought today was easier than day 9's drills as day 9 had the opportunity for the conversation to not make sense (time, do you know where [restaurant] is, do you like it) , which was a bit more daunting. Might retry that day and aim to simply ask the last question to everyone who says they don't know where the restaurant is.
Thanks to anyone who reads this. Excited for day 11.
POST 3:
Day 11 !
Here's the drill that I had on for today:
Time,
Time, do you know if they sell any phones around here,
Time, do you know if they sell any phones around here, what phone do you have,
Time, do you know if they sell any phones around here, what phone do you have, do you like it?
Today ended up being a little crazy. I had a huge range of emotions go through me within the 30 minutes it took me to complete the drill.
To start it off , the first couple of sets went by really quickly. The first four sets went amazingly. The shopping centre I was at had a lot of young people around. Most people were happy to engage in conversation with me.
When first reading today's drill, I thought the 'What phone do you have' seemed like a really difficult/personal question and I thought I would freeze up when asking, however, the opposite was true. The first time I asked the question, the person was happy to tell me and seemed like they wanted to help me make a choice and give their input, this set the tone for the rest of the drills.
As I went through the sets, I noticed a trend that has seemed to continue on from day 10. The more attractive girls that I approach are generally happy to help me and even just happy to be talking to me, whereas the less attractive, or older, girls that I talked to seem a little weirded out by the question. Backwardly, the notion that I COULD be hitting on an attractive girl by asking random questions actually GAVE the questions meaning, but the less attractive / unavailable girls ruled that out of there heads, making the questions seem weird and creepy.
In regards to weird and creepy, on my very last approach I went and talked to an older lady as she was the only person around in the end and I wanted to finish the drills. When I asked for the time, she seemed annoyed that I had even gone up and talked to her, when I continued the question and got to 'What phone do you have' she looked really suspicious like I was going to hack into her Facebook for something, so I apologised and walked away.
That interaction really really made me nervous for a long time after. But the story Chris told today echoed through my head. The story involved him going up to a girl, asking a bunch of questions and getting in return 'What's with all the questions', he then turned around, talked to another girl, said the exact same things, and took her home.
This was 100% the case today. Some of the girls I talked to seemed really happy to be in the conversation. Even got some indicators of interest during conversation (in which I had butterflies for a while afterwards).
Overall a lot happened today. Noticed some trends, got varying reactions, and my first bad one (really glad this was the last one of the day as this may have ruined my whole mood for the drills). I'm even somewhat THANKFUL I had a bad reaction, get me exposed to it.
I've also noticed that near the end of the drills I get something like social exhaustion. Chris talks about social freedom, and I definitely get that as the first few sets fly by (and I'm really really nervous beforehand, but am fine during), but then, the last set rocks up and it's like I'm socially tired and just don't want to do it. Hopefully this is like a muscle and will get stronger with practice.
Thanks for everyone reading this. Learning a lot. These drills make me feel like I'm making progress for once and not just over-reading and making myself more anxious.
THE END.
Thanks for your time ! If anyone actually read this, any obvious improvements on my writing style that I need to address?