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AA Program Log

Day 1-2
Sign up (Wednesday day1)
Introduced myself
Also I'm starting nofap as well and at the time of this post I'm on day 1
 
Day 4-5
This was pretty exhilarating for me I was able to complete both drills during my 15 minute break at my job. It felt so good just interacting with a woman. Even though I'm not hitting on them it felt really good just approaching and saying something. This is more than I've done and this this is definitely helping me stretch my social muscle nervous but excited for what's to come with this program
Also nofap day 2-3 complete
 
Day 6
Today was intersting. I relapsed today and also had school work I had to finish that took up a lot of my time but I'm still going to stick with the program tommorow I'll work on the day 6challenge and keep the ball rolling
It goes without saying nofap day0
 
Day 6 (again)

This was such an exciting day for me. Like chris said in the audio the honeymoon period is over and today I was thinking what the fuck am I even doing but I powered through and did the challenge today. It took a while but after about the third set it started to feel a little easier to do these challenges. After I finished it and the excitement died down I thought to myself but this is normal though it's really not a big deal I'm just talking to another human being. I will cherish that thought for the rest of my life because I'm starting to see that approaching isn't hard its just about communication. Even though this is just a baby step today was a powerful baby step for me that has encouraged me to push forward with this program.
Also nf day 1 complete
 
Return from the dead/day 7
It's been a rough few days I relapsed and wasn't feeling motivated to do the drills but eventually I got out of this rut and today I completed the day 7 drill and just like the previous drills I felt like I was on top of the world. I'm definitely starting to understand and embrace the notion of "getting in there" and I feel myself caring less about the women's reaction but more so on just saying what I need to say. Also doing these drills have opened my eyes to some issues that I've been having. I finally realize that one of the reasons I have approach anxiety in the first place is because of my religious upbringing and how nobody ever really helped me to understand that sex is just a natural part of life. I've struggled with being a nice guy who's awkward around women and its because I always thought I was bad for having sexual desires in the first place and didn't want to Express that but these drills even though they're simple it's already starting to change my perception of women. Now i see that women are human being and that i just have to talk to them if i can ask them for the time and directions I can only imagine what I would be able to ask them the deeper I get into this program. I've always had a major problem with overthinking and living in my head but these drills are helping me to embrace reality and open my mouth and talk to people and I'm starting to see it's not that bad
Nf day 1 complete
 
Day 8 Confidence Rising
Today was intersting. It was my last day of finals at my college and all I had to do was write a paper for one of my classes and complete unfinished assignments but instead I just did nothing which led to me relapsing. But this time it felt different from before because in the back of my head I new I didn't have to do it. Even though I did feel some level of shame it wasn't as bad as before because after doing these drills I realized I don't have to keep watching porn just week 1 of this program has proven to me that women aren't that scary you just have to get in there and make the approach and if I just keep pushing I can get to a point where I can talk to women and have sex with them. So later in the day I went into the field and did the drill. At first I felt like this was insane that I'm even doing this I almost felt like giving up but I didn't and I pushed through and exceeded the required amount approaches. After that I hung around the store just asking more girls for the time just for the fun of it then went back to my dorm and rushed through my paper fingers crossed for a good grade but to be honest I know I bullshitted the assignment. I tend to procrastinate alot on my work because to be honest a lot of this stuff I could care less about I just want to play and teach music for a living. But overall the drill went really well and I surprised myself with how quickly I got in there and did it ready for the next one
 
Day 9 Determination

Today was a pretty good day. I moved all of my stuff out of my dorm.and fame home for summer and was able to hang out with some friends and just have fun which is something I've struggled with since I've always been introverted and shy but right before this I was able to complete the drill. In my mind I thought this one would he tough because I was at a different store than the one I usually go to and I was on a different side of town but once I got in there I blew threw the whole thing faster than I thought. There was one older lady that I approached when I started that probably heard me telling other women the same lines and she probably saw me walking through the store later when I was almost done came up to me and offered to take me to the restaurant I kept asking about and I declined but I thought it was really funny just being in that situation. Another thing that I noticed was that I'm staring to have less fear talking to the women I'm really attracted to. At first I would be very selective of the women I approached and tried to avoid the ones I really liked because I was afraid but now its it's really staring to click with me the idea of getting in there and not only that but going after what you want. Even though I'm only asking simple questions it feels amazing just being able to talk and interact with a woman that you really want it really makes me think of the possibilities of what I can say when i get to the point where i can make real approaches
 
Day 10 Lazy
Today I was only able to complete the drill partially today was one 0f those days where I just did not want to to be bothered and that's something I know I have to work on not only for women but for people in general. I honestly think that watching porn played a role in my laziness because I just did not care to talk or engage with any women I'm on day 2 now and continuing my streak I know that I just need to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone and eventually I'll get the results I want with women I've already proven to myself that I can talk to them I just have to keep going and dont stop building momentum
 
Day 10 (Again)Today went well for the most part I was able to do this drill pretty fast and I'm staring to see myself become more socially free not just with women but people in general I'm staring to build momentum just saying hi to people and engaging with them. There were times where I was just smiling because it felt so good to just interact with another human being. I've had trouble talking to people in general most of my life but the more I do these drills the more I see the chains breaking that were holding me back. I also started on the drill for day 12 and this one may be a little challenging for the first time I had some responses I didn't like I asked the 4th lady all the questions she asked why I wanted to know what type of phone she had this was super uncomfortable but she did answer my questions. I'm glad this happened though because now I have to understand and accept that things wont always go my way and the interactions wont always be smooth I just have to learn how to embrace the uncomfortable and push through it
 
This is good stuff. I skipped the program and jumped right into full approaches but part of me still wants to do the whole program, since my confidence isn't consistent yet.
 
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