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Adam's log - Time to put my plan in place and take action

Adam95

Adam95

Member
Joined
Jun 5, 2022
So, I'm not entirely sure how to start this... We're all men here so I don't think I need to hide anything. I was with a girl today, she was overweight and I wasn't really at all attracted to her, we ended up back at her place and I just thought fuck it, I'll fuck her anyway, we start taking out clothes off and she was totally naked and I just couldn't get a full erection, I have no idea why, I've never had this problem in the past, I figured it was pre-match nerves or something but I just couldn't do anything, and she was totally into me as well, she kissing and touching my body, she was sucking my dick and yet I couldn't fully get it up, I got enough that I could put it in here but there was just no chance of me cumming, eventually we gave up, I played with her for a bit and she tried jacking me off to no avail. This was a disaster to be honest, she still had a good time and said we should meet again but I'm just not into it... I think I'm at the stage where I need to go for better looking girls, I've always settled on the overweight, less better looking ones because they're easier and I could get the job done, but now I just can't anymore.

Apologies for the long story but I've now decided to set up this log so I, and anyone following along can hold me accountable for turning my life around and taking action.

My biggest thing is going to be accepting my flaws that I cannot change and doing something about the things I can change, I've already partially been doing this over the past year, I was about 250lbs a year ago and today I weighed in at 211lbs, It's not the most phenomenal transformation but I've been trying to do it gradually while gaining muscle, I post some comparison photos below

These are both from around 2019/2020, sorry I don't have any decent photos more recent pre weight loss

View attachment 4
View attachment 3

And these were literally taken today...

View attachment 2
View attachment 1


I think with this I just want to continue losing weight, I've gone from 220 to 211 in the last 4 weeks after plateauing for a few months.

Next thing I need to work on badly is taking photos of myself, I literally hate taking photos of myself because I spot the smallest imperfections and I hate it, I then never use it on dating websites, most of my dating website photos are me at family events over the past 5 years and a few selfies from a far taken at the gym, this is because I have a turn in one of my eyes (hence the glasses) therefore If I'm not directly looking at camera or laughing with friends and family then I don't notice it, I need to accept this, and start taking proper photos of myself, improve my fashion and become overall more presentable in ways I can control.

Finally the get laid part, I would like to sleep with someone not overweight if that makes sense, that I genuinely find attractive, and not take the easy option, I believe following my 2 objectives about will roll into this one. I've also decided to stop fapping so much, that way I'm fantasising about the type of girl I wish I could be with and actually fucking get her.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated and don't hesitate to be brutally honest, I can take the knocks and I likely fucking need it. I want to update this at least once a week with any progress towards my goals.
 
You’re definitely on the right track. Chase weight loss, that should be your #1 goal above all else. That said, you’ve made great progress so far. As far as ED goes, weight loss will help massively with raising your testosterone and second order by making it easy to fuck girls you are extremely attracted to.

Quite frankly you have enough weight to lose that working on style is somewhat wasteful - the weight you will want to reach will lead to the need for a new wardrobe. You could start working on pictures using the standard DSLR / tripod setup and this might get you a couple lays in the interim. It can be good to start learning photography anyway, unless you just plan on dropping money on someone else take pictures for you. Either way, modeling is it’s own skill and will need to be learned.

Keep logging to help stay accountable, but honestly you are at a very early point with all this stuff and all your questions can be answered easily with Andy’s Tinder guide, you really just need to get down the fundamentals, especially weight loss. You likely have another 50 lbs to go, so honestly just buckle down and stay steady.
 
ytlord said:
You’re definitely on the right track. Chase weight loss, that should be your #1 goal above all else. That said, you’ve made great progress so far. As far as ED goes, weight loss will help massively with raising your testosterone and second order by making it easy to fuck girls you are extremely attracted to.

Quite frankly you have enough weight to lose that working on style is somewhat wasteful - the weight you will want to reach will lead to the need for a new wardrobe. You could start working on pictures using the standard DSLR / tripod setup and this might get you a couple lays in the interim. It can be good to start learning photography anyway, unless you just plan on dropping money on someone else take pictures for you. Either way, modeling is it’s own skill and will need to be learned.

Keep logging to help stay accountable, but honestly you are at a very early point with all this stuff and all your questions can be answered easily with Andy’s Tinder guide, you really just need to get down the fundamentals, especially weight loss. You likely have another 50 lbs to go, so honestly just buckle down and stay steady.
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Thanks Man, yeah I'm sort of in an awkward phase where most of my clothes are too big and what I buy likely won't last more than a couple of months, so I'll probably make do with what I have right now, I might try taking some more model type photos with my phone using the timer and just seeing what works, see if anything comes out looking good enough to use online, the ED thing was almost entirely mental I'm sure of it, I was just in my own head the entire time, I couldn't even shut my eyes and imagine something, just one of those things we go through, first time for me which is bizarre. Weight loss is one thing at least I'm in tune with, seems to be falling off right now and I'm rarely hungry, lifts are all maintaining or improving which is a sign the muscle is staying put, in fact some days I'm drinking an extra protein shake or 2 to make sure I hit the macros I need to maintain muscle.

Thanks for your advice, it's really appreciated
 
Found a DSLR on ebay, less than £150 so might pick it up in order to improve my photographs and then get a remote and tripod, luckily I live near some amazing views and idyllic locations so might get it and then go out and do some shoots when I have some time. Nothing else to report, really trying to read through Andy's guides, just finished the tinder one, hence why I'm looking to get a camera, even though I'm a complete photography noob, haven't fapped at all and not really been tempted too, but obviously it's not even been one day yet, kept calories low today might need to eat a protein bar or drink a shake to get the Macros high enough.

Also contemplating getting into producing music, I want something to do in the evenings that doesn't involve playing video games or thinking about women/sex, music is something I love and I love EDM, always have it on in the gym or walking my dog, would be something more productive...

Gym tomorrow, Back and Chest, I train agonist and antagonist muscles so I can do supersets and do the work out quicker, chasing 85kg 4sets x 8reps pause bench press, and 2 consecutive unaided pull ups, most of you can probably do pull ups but a recovering fat arse like me struggles with them :lol: . Going to update daily for the first week or so to keep myself focused and accountable, keep reminding myself "you can do this! Besides no one else will do it for you"
 
Hey man, props on the weight loss already. Getting a good body will help massively with girls but arguably more importantly with yourself and own confidence.

Regarding the ed situation, i would not worry about it too much. You said it yourself that you weren't really attracted to the girl so this is the obvious reason for it. Also when it comes to ed its almost always a mental issue rather than a physical one especially if you're a young guy. Once you get in your own head and become aware of it then its very difficult to not focus on it in those moments.

I would also say its not a bad idea to have some viagra/cialis on hand just in case but don't become reliant on it of course.
 
Kurvam said:
Hey man, props on the weight loss already. Getting a good body will help massively with girls but arguably more importantly with yourself and own confidence.

Regarding the ed situation, i would not worry about it too much. You said it yourself that you weren't really attracted to the girl so this is the obvious reason for it. Also when it comes to ed its almost always a mental issue rather than a physical one especially if you're a young guy. Once you get in your own head and become aware of it then its very difficult to not focus on it in those moments.

I would also say its not a bad idea to have some viagra/cialis on hand just in case but don't become reliant on it of course.
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Thanks man, yeah I'm really working on the confidence side of things, I know it's my biggest weakness, the body will come so long as I persevere. I'll take all advice on board, i think it might be worth keeping some in my wallet or something hidden away for an emergency. Appreciated.
 
Update - 07/06/2022

Been a good day so far, gym went really well, hit all my targets in Pause BP, DB Incline press, DB Row and Pull ups, weighed in at 212 but this is probably just water fluctuations so not going to get too hung up on it. Eaten well today calories at around 1500 and plenty of protein, one more meal at around 700 calories and I'll be done eating for the day. Try not to stress too much on diet as I am off work so got to enjoy myself a little. Went for a walk with my dog and spotted a few nice locations for possible photoshoots, haven't had a chance to go out and shoot any yet, might try tomorrow. I'll attach some images of the locations to see what any of you think...
View attachment 1

If you think they're shit by all means say, 2nd one may be a little too busy shall we say, there's plenty of other locations, however the big thing for me is just going to be getting in front of the camera and become accustomed to having my photo taken in a more natural environment. Also contemplating doing some photos tomorrow while at the gym but more natural and not selfies.

I've still not fapped and have removed any porn from my computer and any links so I'd have to go out of my way to find it if I wanted it. Wanted to last night and this morning but just focussed on other things and the feeling passed.

I've deleted a lot of my dating accounts for now, I almost just want to revamp them, new bio, new photos, new vibe. I listened to Andy's 2k Q&A today, and he said about people obsessing too much over individual photos, rather than the entire vibe, and my accounts just screamed "fat guy who goes to the gym, is a loner and can't take a simple selfie" some of my photos were years old from when I was much heavier and didn't wear glasses and that's dishonest and a poor representation of myself, so I'll delete them, make up a portfolio of picture and maybe have people asses which ones I should use.

Spent a lot of time today and yesterday just absorbing Andy's content through articles and podcasts, they're very motivating but I need to be taking action. I can't take action sat at a computer or walking around listening to podcasts. If there's anyone who wants to chat, then reach out I'd be happy to chat even if it's just shooting the shit, and anyone UK based would be cool to chat and maybe meet one day, although we all have our own journey's there's no reason we can't all pull each other along, some of you are a lot further down that path than me so it would be cool to chat to you.

Have a nice day all who are reading this and go get your goals, all advice and constructive criticism is appreciated and taken onboard.
 
Update - 08/06/2022

A little earlier today but we move, just need to get this in now as I'm going to be busy this afternoon, gym again this morning which felt very good, still hitting all my targets despite continuing to cut weight which is always good when it come to retaining muscle mass. Might get a little more aggressive with my cut next week when I'm back to work... Made a short video showing my progress, muscle definition and fat loss

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/19U2SNQuERvrPrHRHkf8kpaYKJspKuUUZ?usp=sharing

I'm getting happier with my body, obviously still very fluffy but that'll reduce, I hope, just got to persevere.

Been trying on some outfits and what not to see if I can find something to wear for a potential shoot, this afternoon but unfortunately something has come up, it is very windy as well so may not have been the best conditions. Tried to take some photos at the gym but couldn't do it very well with my phone and wanted to focus on my lifts anyway. Still listening to some podcasts and doing a little reading, not much more to report, just keeping on trying to improve myself bit by bit.

Also forgot to add, saw a girl outside the shops today, thought about approaching her but I'm not quite there yet. Still at least I'm actually thinking about it now.
 
Quick mini update

I've picked up a relatively cheap tripod and remote to use with my phone so I can do some photos, hopefully it'll be here tomorrow so I can get out there and shoot, reportedly it can be used with most cameras as well so should I upgrade to using a camera I can continue to use it, the main thing for me is getting comfortable with being in front of the camera and getting used to it all. Also sending positive thoughts to any German forum members, especially those in and around Berlin. My friend is from near there luckily he's away in Lisbon right now, the world can be a horrible place sometimes.
 
Update - 09/06/2022

Another decent day, Hard Leg day at the gym, gym feels really good right now, all my targets are being met and I'm reaching failure and sometimes beyond on most of my accessory lifts which is the aim usually, eating has been good but weight has plateaued however this is likely due to not working (I have a very active job) so I'm not getting too bent out of shape about it.

My tripod came today so I've been having a little play, hopefully going to get out tomorrow if the weather is good as I have a rest day, been looking at a few outfits, think black jeans will be best given my chunky squaters legs :lol:

I've really turned a corner the last few days in terms of my general outlook on life, trying to smile more, have fun and just have a laugh. Making jokes with friends online and in person it just makes life a lot easier, trying not to let small things get to me, being grateful for what I have, no I'm not where I want to be but if you take a happier more positive approach to things I believe you're more likely to get the results you crave. I intend on taking this into my dating life once I get back on the horse soon.

Thanks everyone who's read along, reading a lot of other peoples logs has been really inspiring, some that have just begun and others that are several months or years old, shows how much people can transform themselves.
 
Adam95 said:
I've picked up a relatively cheap tripod and remote to use with my phone so I can do some photos
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Hey Adam, what's your take on the quality of that phone tripod, and if you'd recommend it, where did you get it? I'm looking for one to help with gym pictures and my 365 project.
 
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