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Are these photos good enough?

Jamgoth

Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2022
I tried OLD a year ago with photos I got from a professional photographer, and got no results. You all told me that I come off like a meek niceguy loner, so I spent a year working out (still in progress) and working on my style and also got a few activity/social photos in the process. Are these good enough to present in an Online Dating profile?

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Note: I know these aren't amazing, but I'm just wondering if you think they pass the bar to get at least some matches in online dating, where as before I was getting none. I want to add a photo of me with a guitar and another photo of me with a suit to show off a different side of me. Once I complete my fitness goals I want to redo the pool party photo, maybe one where I don't have a goofy expression. One of me shirtless going surfing would be good (again, assuming I'm actually in shape when this happens). I also want to redo the picture of me with my dog to update it with my current, edgier, glasses-free look, but that might be easier said than done because my dog is not very affectionate and doesn't come up to me like that very often.
 
The only way to know is to try and figure it out.

I reckon the first 3 are good. 1st is p sick man big 90s alt vibe. I really don’t like the dog one. But these are all things you can improve over time.

In terms of OLD results there is some difference between apps too. This is something that you need to test. For example I got matches on Tinder (paying for premium) but generally no chats/dates. Hinge is the best performing for me so far. I think this is because I use the voice notes + send likes with an opener. Good luck man. Also a fair amount of people reccomend premium. There some stat like 60% of male profiles don’t even get viewed or soemthi
 
Adrizzle said:
The only way to know is to try and figure it out.

I mean I don't want to waste money on premium if I'm going to deal with the same shit as last time haha
 
Only the first one is usable. Your only hope is running a one photo profile.
 
The first photo is great. Makes you look edgy af, and goth guy is a cohesive archetype that will appeal to a certain type of girl.

The others I don't like.

Side note on professional photos - I have tons of people tell me they hired a photographer and didn't get results. It's very common. Professional photos aren't enough. They need to feel candid, and almost all photographers are bad at this, because it's completely irrelevant to most types of photography.

If you do another photoshoot at one point find a photographer who specializes in dating profile photography (not a photographer who does portraits, or one who does a few different kinds of photography) Also check out their portfolio and make sure they don't feel posed, they feel more relaxed and candid.

This is the main key in my experience between professional photos that don't get matches and professional photos that do.

You've got potential here, and even if you just use your phone you can bump up your matches if you do it right.
 
First photo only. Retake it when you've lost some weight, except in an urban setting or somewhere with an interesting background. Consider going to a hair stylist to get a consultation on how to make that long hair look more masculine; it's a huge asset of yours but you'll have to temper it with a masculine edge. Use this photo for now.

Skydiving is adventurous, but the quality of that photo isn't very good. I'm also biased since I'm in the military but tandem skydiving isn't that impressive.

Pool photo is no good simply because of how far you're leaning into that woman. In group photos like that, be sure to blur out everyone's faces to draw attention to yours.

Dog photo is too blurry, you're not looking at the camera, background is cluttered, and the dog appears to be a service animal with that vest on. Don't mean to be a dick but that whole photo puts out a message of "basement-dwelling special needs". Perhaps it's just a friends house and none of that is true, but when a woman is swiping, that's going to be what she unconsciously perceives.
 
Vice said:
First photo only. Retake it when you've lost some weight, except in an urban setting or somewhere with an interesting background. Consider going to a hair stylist to get a consultation on how to make that long hair look more masculine; it's a huge asset of yours but you'll have to temper it with a masculine edge. Use this photo for now.

Skydiving is adventurous, but the quality of that photo isn't very good. I'm also biased since I'm in the military but tandem skydiving isn't that impressive.

Pool photo is no good simply because of how far you're leaning into that woman. In group photos like that, be sure to blur out everyone's faces to draw attention to yours.

Dog photo is too blurry, you're not looking at the camera, background is cluttered, and the dog appears to be a service animal with that vest on. Don't mean to be a dick but that whole photo puts out a message of "basement-dwelling special needs". Perhaps it's just a friends house and none of that is true, but when a woman is swiping, that's going to be what she unconsciously perceives.

Good feedback.

I'm actually trying to gain weight, my plan is to dirty bulk to 170 lbs (I'm 5'8, currently at 145 lbs and started at 125 lbs, maintained 15% body fat the whole time) then, once I'm at 170, I plan to cut until I'm 10% body fat. But, obviously I plan to retake the photos once I hit these goals, but that might be a year or more from now.

As for my hair I'm thinking about something like this

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But I don't think I have enough muscle mass to pull this off yet
 
Not really, the first photo might be ok for a niche like metal goth girls, don't know if you have a lot of them in your area. Many normal women will be put off by the vibe the look generates.
The second picture is completely cringe and not usable. Facial expression, posture, everything. If you would be relaxed in the middle of the group, it would be an extremely good picture. Third pic is also not good.

You come across as a metal, goth guy to me. Completely ok, but you have to know that you usually only serve a niche in this way. Is it important to you to present yourself in this way?
 
Jay said:
Hey bud, great initiative, but I think you have to ask yourself if you're really committed to being in your late 20's and still trying for the metal/goth/emo thing? I think there's deeper issues here and its reflecting in the photos and your results.

You MAY attract women who are into metal/goth guys, which honestly what women are? So you're narrowing down and niching out. Which is bad for a newbie - plus couldn't you find metal girls at a show? I DO NOT think they will be online in even marginal numbers.

Metal heads scream incel to me, and I think that's how they're perceived by mainstream society. Whether that's fair or not. That was a fad that died many years ago. A whole appearance make over may be in order and a potential for an adoption of a new personality if you truly embody emo/goth culture. No one likes a neurotic pessimist - which is generally what that music represents. Having music be your identity past your teenage years is a bad look. From a transactional analysis perceptive, it SCREAMS child state.

Shorten the hair and go to a LEGIT barber, get rid of the midwest emo clothes, get those armbands out of there, potentially grow some facial hair, start lifting, and start getting aerobic exercise. It's important to be authentic, but also consider why girls may not want to spend time with you when you are embodying a phase that is mostly for teenagers and introverted neurotics.

Apologies if this is harsh, but I'd encourage you to be a little more cognizant of how your demeanor affects women's perception of you. You may need to embrace your inner Chad, while still keeping a gothboi inside you. BUT you ain't lil peep, or the singer of Periphery. Be more like Chad and enjoy music for what it is, a small hobby not your identity.

You got this

You know you're probably right. My reasoning for the look was that, when I first came onto here, I got a photo review and people were like "you have no edge" so I took that advice to try to look as edgy as possible. Back then I looked like your stereotypical CS nerd. Women in my classes were calling me incel behind my back despite the fact that I hadnt said any incely things to them or even tried to hit on them in any way, and had made up a story of being in a previous relationship specifically so people wouldn't call me that. I was a virgin at the time (not anymore, I have gotten one relationship since). I became convinced I was so ugly women could tell I was a virgin. So I wanted to look as far away from what I did as humanly possible. Also there was a guy in my classes who also had an alt aesthetic who has no problems with women, so I wanted to emulate him. I wanted to go from stereotypical CS nerd to "guy you wouldn't want to bring home to mom" But youre right in that I probably went too far with it. After so many accessories, it stops looking like a bad boy/fuckboy and starts looking like you shop at hot topic, which I'm too old to pull off. Unless I'm at a metal concert, I'll probably only wear one necklace, one bracelet, get rid of the ripped jeans and pants chain. The remaining necklace, ring, and tattoos and piercing's are probably already enough to convey edge.

I am working out. I've put on 20 lbs in the past year while maintaining 15% bodyfat. It's still something I'm working on. I also have scoloisis which juts my belly out and makes me look like I have more belly fat than I actually do. I'm working with a chiropractor to work on this.

I also need to keep the hair kinda long because it hides how thin my hair is at the temples. I'm doing everything I can to reverse this (finisteride, minoxodile, rosemary oil, dermarollers, PRP injections). Once I regrow my hair I'll probably jsut get a fade since those are in style.
 
Jay said:
There are always going to be assholes out there, but if a couple of random hoes are enough to make you doubt your whole self-worth I'd probably recommend going to therapy tbh.

The comments hit a nerve cause like I said, at the time I was a virgin and insecure about it. If they called me anything else I wouldn't have given a shit. Like if they called me a manchild or a retard I would have gotten over it in a day. But incel triggered me.

And it wasn't just a couple of random people either. It's a long story but this incident was humiliating and part of the reason I came here.

About the therapy, yeah I've had years of self hatred that I'm trying to overcome. I don't think it will improve until I start seeing results and start living a life I'm satisfied with.
 
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