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Ash's log - feeling lost

A

Ashsrt

New member
Joined
May 7, 2021
logging my weight progress here.

I'm currently 220lb, trying to get to 180. I've managed to get down from 275 last year and its absolutely amazing what losing weight does for your confidence.
getting laid is another goal but I think I should wait to get down to 180 first.
 
May 10 - weighed in at 221.0

May 11 - weighed in at 219.0

May 12 - weighed in at 218.8

May 13 - 217.8
Ran 2 miles, did 5 sets of 25 push-ups and 5 sets of 7 pull-ups

May 14 - 219.0

May 15 - 218.8
Spent two hours doing BJJ, Broken rib is still bothering me.

May 16- did not weigh in, felt under the weather and skipped working out today. also drank a lot of fluids.

May 17 - 222.0, I think its artificially inflated from the water intake yesterday.
 
Good to see you're making progress with your weight loss.

What's your plan for getting laid? You can possibly start working on that as your loosing weight.
 
I wasn't planning to really do anything until august to give myself time to get fitter and take better pictures. My tinder before was pretty shitty, I only landed two girls off it but my pictures were shit and I was much heavier. I was thinking about the AA program but not sure how I would do it with covid happening.
 
Ashsrt said:
I wasn't planning to really do anything until august to give myself time to get fitter and take better pictures. My tinder before was pretty shitty, I only landed two girls off it but my pictures were shit and I was much heavier. I was thinking about the AA program but not sure how I would do it with covid happening.
Click to expand...

I can offer a bit of help here, as i have read a ton of material about getting lays and whatnot

haven't applied anything but the main takeaway is taking action ( no matter how small ! )

i see you're in NYC

if you have good logisitics, that's half your problem solved already. even if you don't get a lay, just getting a girl there and cuddling with her while watching tv or whatever, can be considered a small victory for beginners (although i think you have already laid 2 girls from Tinder so you're not a beginner ? )

if you have even bad AA, try cold approach but not with the mentality of getting laid ( at first )

just with the mentality of .. approaching you know ? for conversation , gain a bit of experience just by trying it out

i realized that unless you take action, you don't really get anywhere, regardless of how much you read or analyze ! getting rejected is also valuable experience because you will learn how to deal with the utter shit feeling that comes with a girl not being interested in you

i guarantee that your masculine ego will feel hurt at first, but you will slowly realize that's its absolute bs to listen to your ego. I felt the same when i asked a girl on a dating app if she had whatsapp and she said 'no' . the same day or the next ( i don't remember ) a girl straight out said ' sorry i don't want to give you my number ' , kinda hurt me a lot first (or rather hurt the man inside me ) but then i realized that there are many other women who will find me attractive if i work on myself , so abundance ftw !

i'm in Istanbul, barely know turkish and i am unsure about the culture, plus the country has a muslim majority ( and i know what that means for the sexuality of the women living there, having been a part of a much more conservative society ) so i am unsure about cold approaching women here but i will find a way !

I also don't have logistics, as i live in a segregated dorm. so even if i got someone interested in hanging out with me, the best i can do is a date outside and maybe escalate a bit, but i have no idea how to convert that in to a lay ( plus i am super scared about touching a girl due to conservative upbringing, so have to work on that too )

what i do is, say hi to EVERYONE on the campus. Every person i come across on the campus, regardless of gender or age. it could be hot girl with crimson colored hair ( which i love ) , it could be someone from the campus office , a worker or even that student that i have never ever seen before

i don't care who they are, i just say hi

it's not that hard to say hi and no one can call me a creep for saying hi or file an official complaint , so that's what i am going with for now. maybe slowly it will erode the anxiety

you can actually do the same in NYC, where it's probably not considered wrong to say hi or even strike up a conversation with an absolute stranger girl

hope i was able to help

good luck !
 
Yaxir said:
Ashsrt said:
I wasn't planning to really do anything until august to give myself time to get fitter and take better pictures. My tinder before was pretty shitty, I only landed two girls off it but my pictures were shit and I was much heavier. I was thinking about the AA program but not sure how I would do it with covid happening.
Click to expand...

I can offer a bit of help here, as i have read a ton of material about getting lays and whatnot

haven't applied anything but the main takeaway is taking action ( no matter how small ! )

i see you're in NYC

if you have good logisitics, that's half your problem solved already. even if you don't get a lay, just getting a girl there and cuddling with her while watching tv or whatever, can be considered a small victory for beginners (although i think you have already laid 2 girls from Tinder so you're not a beginner ? )

if you have even bad AA, try cold approach but not with the mentality of getting laid ( at first )

just with the mentality of .. approaching you know ? for conversation , gain a bit of experience just by trying it out

i realized that unless you take action, you don't really get anywhere, regardless of how much you read or analyze ! getting rejected is also valuable experience because you will learn how to deal with the utter shit feeling that comes with a girl not being interested in you

i guarantee that your masculine ego will feel hurt at first, but you will slowly realize that's its absolute bs to listen to your ego. I felt the same when i asked a girl on a dating app if she had whatsapp and she said 'no' . the same day or the next ( i don't remember ) a girl straight out said ' sorry i don't want to give you my number ' , kinda hurt me a lot first (or rather hurt the man inside me ) but then i realized that there are many other women who will find me attractive if i work on myself , so abundance ftw !

i'm in Istanbul, barely know turkish and i am unsure about the culture, plus the country has a muslim majority ( and i know what that means for the sexuality of the women living there, having been a part of a much more conservative society ) so i am unsure about cold approaching women here but i will find a way !

I also don't have logistics, as i live in a segregated dorm. so even if i got someone interested in hanging out with me, the best i can do is a date outside and maybe escalate a bit, but i have no idea how to convert that in to a lay ( plus i am super scared about touching a girl due to conservative upbringing, so have to work on that too )

what i do is, say hi to EVERYONE on the campus. Every person i come across on the campus, regardless of gender or age. it could be hot girl with crimson colored hair ( which i love ) , it could be someone from the campus office , a worker or even that student that i have never ever seen before

i don't care who they are, i just say hi

it's not that hard to say hi and no one can call me a creep for saying hi or file an official complaint , so that's what i am going with for now. maybe slowly it will erode the anxiety

you can actually do the same in NYC, where it's probably not considered wrong to say hi or even strike up a conversation with an absolute stranger girl

hope i was able to help

good luck !
Click to expand...

You're right about nyc, the abundance of people is a blessing. I'm not sure how my AA is honestly. On Friday night I was at a bar with friends and did approach one cute girl, but I waited for her friend to use the bathroom. I'm gonna look into the aa program more and see if I think its necessary. And I'm on the same page with you with the strict conservative upbringing, it does take some time to break away from that state of mind but its crucial for freedom.
 
May 18 - 220.0
May 19 - 217.8
May 20 - 216.6
May 22 - 216.8
May 23 - 219.8 (Drank Last night, its water retention.)

Has anyone done a 3day fast? Im thinking about doing one to just reset.
Also went to the west side last night, its pretty amazing how back to normal things are almost.
 
I need to post here more often just for accountability reasons.

Long story short, my weights at 213.6. It’s coming down but on Memorial Day I drank quite a bit and definitely retained a few pounds of water.

Last Friday a couple buddies and I drove into the city and bar hopped around the lower east side. Things are 100% back to normal, the bars were packed just like they used to be. I had to get pushed into approaching by a friend, this is definitely something I need to work on. He also out approached me. I only hit on 3 girls all night, I think he got to around 8.

I also bought a stationary bike and started adding 30 minutes a day of riding. Along with my morning cardio and afternoon mma that’s about 2 hours of cardio a day. I’m eating around 1500 calories a day, so hopefully my weight loss will surge back up. I noticed that it’s not steady, it’s always a few weeks of rapid loss and then a few weeks of complete plateau. That might be on me and my consistency though.
 
Not sure how to go about this.

My weights almost stagnated. I’m stuck right around 210. I’m not sure how, I work out a lot, and eat around 1600 calories a day. Granted I usually have a cheat day on Saturday, but could that really be screwing up a whole weeks progress?

I’ve been crushing pt recently, running has gotten faster and feels enjoyable now, I started swimming again. I’ve never been closer to my goal numbers. Also got a belt promotion at BJJ. That was fucking awesome.

I’ve got two dates lined up for this weekend, I’ve been following the tinder guide, I know I can do better but I’m still pretty happy with my results so far. Went out last week and finally got some clothes that fit me well (radicals guide was amazing). Instant confidence boost right there.

And lastly I never brought up money before on the forums, but things have really aligned for me since I got here. In the last two weeks I picked up two contracts for a couple engineering companies making like 75% more then I used to. At home. I’m pretty satisfied in this area.

In the coming month i really want to get down to sub 200. I’m going to drop the cheat days. And I’d like to get at least one of these women in a rotation.
 
Hey Ashsrt, I'm kind of in the same spot as you when it comes to my weight stagnating while eating few calories. I also have cheat days that I'm trying to cut out.

Check out these two articles:
https://moreplatesmoredates.com/get-shredded-for-beginners/
https://moreplatesmoredates.com/how-to-reverse-diet/

It's possible that your body has already adapted to your low calorie intake and that has become your new maintenance level. It's probably not a good idea to go even lower than 1600 calories, since you'd be going deficient in nutrients required for bodily function (you could probably go a few hundred lower but not much more). If that's the case, you can do what Derek recommends and do a reverse diet to get your maintenance level back up (to say 2500 or 3000). Then you can cut again in smaller increments. I'd first try removing the cheat days though and see if that helps. I'm going to start counting my calories and do the same thing if needed.
 
Cheat days are important for the mental, if you think you can bear it go ahead, but they are necessary imo. Have you looked into fasting, it helped me lose a shit ton of fat in the last few months and I'm someone who previously had a lot of difficulty with losing weight.
 
Update since last time:
Master mentioned fasting, which led me into looking at various eating cycles. I ended up trying OMAD, and its been working really well for me. I can survive off water and one Pedialyte drink during mma during the day time, and ill have a large 800-1200 calorie meal at 10. I broke the 210 barrier guys, this is awesome. I've literally never been this light as an adult. This morning I weighed in at 208.4. I can see myself sticking to this for a while. The nice thing is I can still incorporate cheat days and stay in the low calorie range, one shitty meal might be 1400 cals, still well below my bmr.

moving on to getting laid. I have three dates lined up this weekend, two from hinge and one from cold approach. two of them seem eager af and respond very quickly when we text. We'll see how that goes.

How do you guys handle alcohol while dieting? It sucks being the guy that only has one drink. and if I do decide to drink I end up holding 5-6 pounds of water weight the next day which sticks around for at least a few more days. And on dates as well, how do you not drink on a date?
 
Ashsrt said:
Update since last time:
Master mentioned fasting, which led me into looking at various eating cycles. I ended up trying OMAD, and its been working really well for me. I can survive off water and one Pedialyte drink during mma during the day time, and ill have a large 800-1200 calorie meal at 10. I broke the 210 barrier guys, this is awesome. I've literally never been this light as an adult. This morning I weighed in at 208.4. I can see myself sticking to this for a while. The nice thing is I can still incorporate cheat days and stay in the low calorie range, one shitty meal might be 1400 cals, still well below my bmr.

moving on to getting laid. I have three dates lined up this weekend, two from hinge and one from cold approach. two of them seem eager af and respond very quickly when we text. We'll see how that goes.

How do you guys handle alcohol while dieting? It sucks being the guy that only has one drink. and if I do decide to drink I end up holding 5-6 pounds of water weight the next day which sticks around for at least a few more days. And on dates as well, how do you not drink on a date?
Click to expand...

Good shit on starting OMAD, it works wonders if you stick to it, I'm the living proof.
In the beginning, I used to drink a cup of dark coffee in the afternoon to cut the hunger and not break my fast. It does break it, but not for long. And now I dont need it anymore.

Gratz on the dates man hope for the best ;P

I dont really care personally about alcohol comsumption while dieting, since it hasn't hinder my weight loss yet. I dont feed my face off, I usually go for 1-3 drinks. Yes I'm heavier for a couple of days, but thats just temporary. As long as your drink doesnt put you over your caloric intake of the day you are fine. Doing OMAD really helps with that, since I can go and be 500-800 calories under before the drink if I eat enough fibers and protein I'll still feel full until the next day.
 
OMAD is nice because I get a lot of satiation from the one large meal.
I do take gorilla a2 and cAMP to curb my appetite.
I think I just get too hung up on the scale weight, that’s why I’m iffy on the alcohol
 
The last week has been both awesome and shitty. My fractured rib still isn’t healed and hurts like a bitch when I do bjj. I cut back on exercise a little but have not been watching my eating. Weights up to 214. Trying to buckle down this week.

On the bright side, my tinder/hinge has never been more successful, it’s actually getting hard to manage. I’ll forget to reply to some girls for days. I went on 3 dates last week, one lay out of them but another seemed eager, I just didn’t push for it. I’m also noticing that I’m getting more attractive women now, and I can be a little more selective now.

One thing I hadn’t planned on, and I gotta say I didn’t expect this one. If I’m with a girl if my race it feels easy af, but if I’m with a white or Spanish girl I noticed that it’s a little harder. I’ve spent my whole life in an incredibly diverse city, went to schools with a ton of people from every background and did not see this bothering me. Idk I’m sure I’ll work through it.

TLDR: fucking up on my weight (drinking), but also seeing improvement in my online game.
 
Alright it’s been a looong time since

Weight- 206. Tending in the right direction but not happy with the pace

All my physical goals are getting closer. I’ve also went apeshit at bjj/mma, I’m training around 8-10 hours a week on top of runs/weightlifting. I don’t know why, I have no Plans on being a fighter. I’ve even starting doing private lessons with ultra experienced guys just to progress faster.

Dating has been hit and miss. One week I had 4 dates, the next none. Went to a wedding in another state and got lucky on tinder in one day. Also it feels like out of every 10 girls I match with, 4 reply, and 2 actually end up going somewhere.

My sleeping is all fucked up, I work from home so I end up working whenever. I’ve cut too far back on work and have to get more hours in. I think I just hit sort a plateau mentally. I even ended up ruining one of my better contracts by not getting work done on time.

I really miss stability right now (not with dating - although that starts dragging too). I haven’t done any cold approach/day game in 4 weeks.

Honestly thinking about just buckling down at the gym for 3 months and just shut down all dating temporarily.

So that’s where I’m at, hopefully I can meet up with some other forum guys and get out of this state of mind.
 
Ashsrt said:
Also it feels like out of every 10 girls I match with, 4 reply, and 2 actually end up going somewhere
Click to expand...
That ratio is actually amazing bro, just smash out some more boosts and you'll be overwhelmed
 
Thanks man, I try and stick pretty close to Andy’s guide. It still sucks when you get ghosted out of nowhere.

Update for 9/11/21
The date has me reflecting a lot. I’m doing a lot better now and ready to get my head back in there. Still hitting the gym hard, still dieting. Knocking on being sub 200lbs. I really need to work on some new photos, I forgot how hard this is. I have the eos r, self photography is just hard , I’ve never been the creative type and can’t think of new ideas for photos.
 
Life is going pretty well. I BROKE THE 200lb WALL! this morning weighed in at 199.4 haha. Feels great, I’m seeing more veins and cuts by the day.

I pretty much have three girls in a steady rotation, this is also new to me, it’s hard to keep up with everything but hell it’s fun. Still on all the apps. Hinge is really carrying the load right now. I get a good amount of likes and matched off of tinder, but I almost never get a reply off there. I’ve gotten laid twice from it, got ghosted by one girl the day after, and the other one went back to school in another state. Not sure what I’m doing wrong, or if it’s just too saturated.

Anyway, playing it by ear for now.
 
as of lately I feel like shit. my weights back up to 206, but I'm not natty and holding a ton of water right now. I think I'm having tinder burnout, its almost annoying to have to reply to girls now. I also feel like my social circle is moving away from me, I haven't been out with friends in weeks and my solution to this was train even harder. I'm up to 12 hours a week of hard mma training, which is a great mental distraction from my problems. part of me wants to say fuck it and go make a new circle. I'm worried about going down the path of the lonesome bodybuilder chris talks about on gll. after I write this I'm going for a run then hanging with some family to watch a fight.

Currently reading Tribe by Sebastion Junger and rereading 12 rules for life. For the first time in a while I feel genuinely lost.
 
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