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BDSM or just dominating

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Tering Jantje

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Aug 22, 2023
Hi, I am thinking about this for quite a while and I don't see this being discussed about anywhere.

When is it called BDSM and when is it just that someone likes it rough in bed?

I like to dominate a girl in bed, tell her what to do, force play, choking, spanking, using a blindfold, using handcuffs, using a leash, forbidding her to cum and holding that power.. these sort of things. But I don't see all this as being into BDSM. It's just "spicy bedroom fun".

In BDSM you have this thing called "playtime" where you act upon your fetishes and kinks, that time you spend on doing what you like that can lead into sex, but I heared most of the time it will not just end with sex because some kinks won't allow it, like femdom stuff. Sometimes "playtime" is getting whipped a bunch of time until you reach that point you can't take it anymore and then some aftercare and you go enjoy the rest of your day. But that's not me, when I talk about what I like in the bedroom, other people have an idea in there head I like also needle play or ageplay which is totally different what I like.. I noticed a lot of people are unknown to what Dominating means and all the differences within the kinks.

I'm not here to put labels on myself or other people, I'm just asking the question to explore the border where "spicy bedroom fun" ends and where BDSM starts. Anybody else thinking about this?
 
Why does any of this theory matter?

Start a log and focus on your growth.
 
Hey man,

We're an action based forum, so we tend to limit theoretical single-thread discussions.

However, you can discuss all these matters, within a personal log, that demonstrates your goals and your commitments to realising them.

I will lock this one, and instead, invite you to start a log, and share any questions or discussion within that.

Many here explore BDSM, I find it pretty cool also, and I am sure you will find lots of knowledge and wisdom that will support you.

Thank,
-Ravi
 
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