BlazinX's Chasing Log - From Dumped and Depressed to Sexxed and Blessed

[BlazinX]

Time To Start a progress Log to get into the lady's clam. To basically evolve as a guy completely.

I have a private progress log but ill take a big step and post this one here. I have redefined my goals and will go and post progress how we're going.

Body Goals
- Elite Physique
- Fix my face/jaw (will elaborate)
- Skincare

Hobbies Goals
- Photography
- Videography
- Drones
- Guitar playing
- 4x4

Relationship Goals
- Improve friendship circle
- Become more sexually appealing to women (more lays - Tinder, Bumble, Hinge)
- Cold Approach (Day Game)

Financial/Career Goals
- Senior Position -> Coordinator -> Manager
- Side Hussle
- Stock Trading/Crypto Trading
- Savings Targets

Hiya ill reintroduce myself and go through my life story. So basically I came from a long term relationship not too long ago. I had a really high quality gf, she was a nurse, had a kombi was a belly dancer. Eventually the relationship got toxic and her mum got involved with our relationship and it just went fucking down hill from there. I take responsibility for not showing up as a man and basically let her walk all over me. I found myself like most guys, absolutely heart broken unsure of where to go and what to do. I havent had much luck on tinder or whatever in the past. So i had to figure out something. I saw Andy's post on reddit and said this guy is onto it. So i come here and read like its the bible to me. I eventually want to get somewhere decent with a girl and settle into something monogamous but not without being the type of guy who wants to have sex before that. I guess just like Andy the eventual goal is to find a woman through the whole sex crusading. I have been working on things and trying to get better. I have suffered lots of hurdles and i dont want a sympathy story from anyone, Im here now in this moment in this state and i have to work and grind on it and make it happen. it might take a few years but ill make it. To the day where i can finally be in the "20%" of the "20%" and enjoy myself. This is my Mount Everest.

I cant explain how shit my life has been up untill basically setting myself to purpose. So uneventful, nothing exciting, not a lot of lays, nothing. And ive pinned it down to my appearance. My face, my facial structure, my style and my posture. All trashhhhhh so now that we are aware. Its time to fix it.

I suffered from depression and anxiety and have only recently crossed the rubicon and have a mental frame now where im committed to my goals.

I will be documenting that journey here with you all

 

[BlazinX]

Body Goals

- Elite Physique

Grinding has been going well the past 6 weeks with the coach. This week has been a write off thanks to getting Covid. Next week we will be doing hypertrophy training.
Start Weight: 96kg
Current Weight: 90kg
Start BF: 19.2%
Current BF ~17%

https://imgur.com/a/ZsRBQ19

https://imgur.com/a/Jajsekl

Sticking to Weekly Routine
Walking 10k steps avg per week.

- Fix my face/jaw (will elaborate)

I have figured out for the past couple of years i have had a breathing related issue with my septum. So currently im on a mission to fix my facial structure. I suffer the "mouthbreather face" yuck. So been practising Mewwing and will be seeing a Orthodontist and and Otolaryngologist. (Booked in June)


https://imgur.com/a/yTKFKRP

Daily Mewing
No mouth breathing
Breathing Exercises
Nasal Strips for sleeping
Mouth Tape for sleeping

- Skincare

I currently have rough skin, uneven skin tone, microblemishes. basically no real Acne but my skin isnt smooth and pretty and healthy looking. it has been a big thorn in my side and now im taking the time to correct it. I dont have a beard and would like one so i can look more masculine. So i have a derma roller and 9 months supply of minox. So we will be documenting that journey.

Daily Skin Care routine
Exfoliate twice a week
Minoxidil and Derma rolling twice a day

https://imgur.com/a/p36QYoC

 

[Olafsmash]

minoxdil and derma rolling blew up my beard, but i stopped using it so im back to square one, starting again now. that being said isnt derma rolling twice a day way too much? 2-3 times a week is suffiecent if i remember my research correctly

 

[BlazinX]

minoxdil and derma rolling blew up my beard, but i stopped using it so im back to square one, starting again now. that being said isnt derma rolling twice a day way too much? 2-3 times a week is suffiecent if i remember my research correctly

Perfect that is what i want to hear! Im not seeing much results with the 'beardgrowth' kit i bought from Copenhagen Grooming.

Ive read different things as well.. once a day to 2-3 times a week... and i suppose like with most things just will need to see how it goes for a period of 4 weeks and then change accordingly

 

[BlazinX]

Hobbies Goals

- Photography
- Videography
- Drones

Just bought a Sony A6400, purely ive seen it has probably some better quality and options than the competitors. So far ive done a few self shoots but ill be taking time to work on it and post some pics as we go.

https://imgur.com/a/m8sGRH6

I also have a DJI mini 2 and will be doing more shots of things and improving all that. Eventuallying adding 2 and 2 together ive started making some film treks of a recent adventure ive gone on with friends using Vegas Pro. Here are the results so far.

https://imgur.com/a/5sfhGt7

https://imgur.com/a/7Zj0Zkf

https://youtu.be/6AEb2gvmjzY

- Guitar playing

Recently bought a sanchez full dreadnought steel string and taking lessons will post videos once we've achieved some competency

 

[BlazinX]

So since embarking on everything i think its worth comming in giving a full breakdown of my life and where ive been and where ive come. The type of mess i am. I want to be open and clear about it all and i can only see that showing you all that im serious.

I had a pretty shit childhood. Immigrated from Sth Africa to here. Got bullied basically my entire life. Blamed everyone else except myself. I didnt realise the actual fucking loser i was. I was a nerdy kid who would rather spend his arvos after school grinding runescape and CSGO rather than spend it with his friends and family. I feel so ashamed at the amount of time i wasted and the opportunities i missed. I didnt have much success with women as a result for a very long time.

I finished university and didnt have a job for about 2 years. I was semi proactive looking for work but nothing was manifesting. I was too concerned about gatecamping on eve online or trying to get to global elite on csgo. I worked out since i was about 16. I saw some great results and grew and ego. During this time i got fat (high bf) after i gave up and got injured and let people tell me that women dont care about muscles (big fucking lie) basically a fucking useless vplate cunt lord at this stage. Fuck i wish i can go back in time and fucking slap the living piss out of me.

Skip down the line a job opportunity comes up to move 400km away. I say fuck it and this was the biggest shift in my life i needed. As Jordan B Peterson explained it, it was Abraham from the bible ' the big fat nerd getting out of the basement and going on and adventure'

I went hiking, kayaking, day trips to the beach, took my gym seriously and made friends (who i still kick the shit with till this day) grew in my career and lost my vplates to a swim instructor girl who i met on Tinder. She was pretty ok in respect of things, would have liked to have taken things further.

I had the biggest intimacy anxiety before fucking this girl i litterally got xanax from a dealer to fucking calm down.

Life kinda went up from there. I got my first lay in person from this pierced up tattooed chick who ive been talking to at the protein shop in the town. We had a workout and afterwards we went to the beach where it just naturally turned into touchy feely putty my dicky in your pussy. Great girl... she fucked off to Sydney eventually....

I moved back to the City a year later and basically went back to square one. Stuck inside playing games. Not taking gym seriously. I got a new job at a small inner city local government which was fucking hell. I turned into that cunt who was always saying how shit life is basically the biggest negative idiot. There was this absolute sexy as fuck blonde girl. I was a fucking simp omega around her and frequently... no daily went and saw her. She didnt really ever show interest in me since i probably was an annoyance more than just getting her number.
Fwd i basically dont get laid or meet anyone till i turn about 25.
I met this asian girl MJ on tinder. We have a date and she invites me back to hers. She jerks me off that night and rides me like mad the next morning. She eventually makes the move the next week saying she wants to have a relationship where i nope out. Lowkey dont get sex again for ages and hit her up again... turns out shes fucked off back to singapore to be with her fam during covid.
Im stuck for ages without a fuck. I meet a few girls go on a few dates but nothing progresses.

Fwd i meet my ex. We get on like fire. Instant chemistry. Met her through a friend then we connected a year later on bumble. She was sexy, smart but it was a toxic shitshow. She made me feel like i was walking on egg shells. Tore up my friendship with my car friends and my best mate. I lost complete confidence in myself. I do take responsibility for being weak and not speaking my mind but there is no innocence in the game for two. I did genuinely love her and felt i ruined things when i walked away from her in dramatic fashion. Not like Andy does in his guide... silly fucking me. Oh well hindsight yeah.
I wrote her a letter with the pretext saying. I dont control you as a person but i want to make this work and can only do that if you try.

I text her to ask if she got it and if she want to go go on a date? She tells me not to contact her again....... i contact her again on the day we met.....
She threatens me with a MRO... game over.

Here we reach absolute rock fucking bottom
Im heartbroken, depressed and suicidal. I saw a therapist for approximately 6 months. During this time ive done some absolute work. David goggins level. Forming a routine. Getting my shit together. It was like the introduction of my own life, where you were beatup and fucked up.

I honestly look back now and reflect on how that moment was one of the biggest changes in my mindset and my need to progress and become a high quality male. I think if anyone here goes through depression and comes out the other end you become truely unstoppable. I feel like this a bit now. I feel like if i truely apply myself i will get what i want! It might take time but i will fucking conquer those goals.

 

[BlazinX]

Lay report number one

Yewwwwww this one was fun. Bit of a weird story but yeah. Since basically growing a pair ive said fuck it leave no regrets behind. Well one of those was a friends sister ive always been keen on but too pussy to try.

I get invited over for a pool party. Everyones chilling having a good time. When i get changed she goes and gets changed and her bathroom leads directly into her room. She sees me with my shirt of and you kinda see on her face shes like 'whoa' i wasnt shredded but im pretty jacked tho compared to the guys she hangs out with.

I flirt with her, gently grab her ass and shit. I basically tease her a bit.
Skip later on we all eat and we want to jump in the pool again. She comes into her room just as i get my clothes on. At this point im like 'fuck it here we go'

I shut the door and tell her she need to get changed. I slowly undo her buttons, she stops me and grabs me and we start making out. She playfully pushes me off and says 'laterrr'

We go swimming and the whole time shes rubbing my dick with her ass as im playfully getting my fingers in and around her pussy... all while talking to our friends and other people lmao

Que to leave comes in as the rest of the gang want to fuck off.... i go get changed she comes in and we go straight at it.
F.u.c.k.s.a.k.e my friend comes in and tells me 'hey.. we got to leaveeee' he notices and closes the door. We keep making out. She starts feeling my dick as my hands are working in and around her body. She pushes me off again and says 'you gott to leaveee'

I fuck off. She messages me and says to let her know if shes keen later.

Next. Fucking. Morning. She messages and says basically 'oh im sorry i was really drunk and it was a mistake, i dont think we should see each other again'
I message her 'ok no worries you gotta do what makes you comfortable'

Fast forward to a few weeks later. Out of fucking no where she drops this message to me. In afrikaans is the message. Its pretty self explanatory.

https://imgur.com/a/dOwshhY

Im like whoa... ok... i message her to make sure shes not on drugs or drunk. She messages back saying nooo shes just keen for me. I organise to fuck her on the night.
She keeps bombing me with messages like this

https://imgur.com/a/2Kp7Xq9

'Im watching porn and im just wanting you' LoL yummy

7pm rolls around i get the 'im here message'
She comes inside and we make out straight away. I pick her up and walk her whilst hooking up to my bedroom.
I throw her on and pull her pants off. Shes pulling her top off as im getting undressed.

Im ontop and making out with her. It goes the standard she sucks me off. I finger her and lick her out where we progress to fuck for the majority of the night.

Unfortunately she messages me the next day
'Hey im not comfortable doing that again etc etc'
I tell her the same 'i understand blah blah blah'
She blocks me on FB...

 

[BlazinX]

bodybuilding update

Since my last post i looked like trash. So ive dropped nearly 10kgs since the start and im sitting somewhere around the 87kg mark.
Strength has gone up. Musculoskeletal gains are up and currently week 4 of 6 on a hypertrophy split.
Dieting has been consistent but i will drop calories again come my next split. (Deload) and 6 week strength split. Prioritize high days (higher carb loads)

https://imgur.com/a/hdSpsB0

Got a tan from a 2 week road trip. Telling you now a Tan is so fucking better for you. It makes you so much more attractive holy shit the compliments and looks i get from women as a result. I need to figure out a habit to maintain this all year round.

Hobbies

Im going to turn these into a side hussle. Ive been working on them and i see potential in the drone industry. Ill be posting more on socials and trying to build a following through that. Ive been smashing drone pics and videos. I am doing more edits and posting to socials to try and grow my following.

Heres a little trailer of a video i shot

https://imgur.com/a/UUIoykg

education

Im constantly reading but not as of late! I am trying to rebuild the habit and will prioritize to make some time again at night.
So far on track with 1 book a month. But now im going to move onto finance and business books. My E to E ratio is moving more to education rather than entertainment.

physical/facial appearance goals

- minox and derma rolling consistently. Seeing a ton of new hairs popping up. This shit works. Just be patient and consistent

- seen a dermatologist. Lifetime supply of tretoinin cream obtained. Shits on retinol so highly suggest getting a prescription. Most doctors are fucking cool and will give you what you want.

- seeing the ortho next month along with the Ent. So facial surgery is a big big go. Moving my top palate forward and my lower jaw forward. Giving me better room to breathe better. Im going to look like shit for 18mths and im going to probably push my limits to see if i can still score during this time.
Its a fucking brutal process and im going to have adult braces lol. So fuck it going to still push myself. I can get laid with them ill be able to easily get laid without them.

side hussle

Time to fucking grind.
- Print on demand store
- Cashflow leveraging
- Drone and photo business
- get a higher level position
- work on further education to move into surveying.

The negatives.
- havent been laid in awhile. Had some bad dates and a few flakes. So no sex reports
- had reoccuring thoughts about my ex, sad that i cannot alter fate. Im trying to move on in life and realise it is what it is.
- finances have been shocking. I havent saved properly. Ive been spending cash on shit i shouldnt. Im fucking broke atm.
- ive been slack on my steps. I havent woken up early as usual given the winter temps.
- Im not consistent with my diet sometimes
- Im not practising gratitude enough
- Im not streching or reaching optimal heart rate enough.
- Im not taking enough time to work on photoprocessing.

what im going to do about it
- reorganise my priorities in life and work down to the daily habits i need to establish again.
- focus on getting good night rest so i can wake up early
- reorganise my spaces to appeal to my good habits and make the bad habits difficult.
- work on photo ideas and enact them. Find a photofriend to help set up shoots for dating profiles.
- dig into the reasons i started this journey. The real reason. To one day show up infront of my exs face like she is a memory. To become part of the 1%.

Thanks for reading!