Bopbap1337's log

[Bopbap1337]

It's a bit hard for me to figure what exactly I want and what my goals are. In terms of dating, I'm not sure if I want to just collect a group of fwbs or If it would be better for me to find the one special person. Regardless, to successfully achieve either of these I will need to work on myself and make myself more attractive and successful

In terms of finances, my goal is to get a net worth of 1 million dollars. I'm working on getting my trade qualification ASAP. I'm working 50-60 hours a week to fast track my engineering apprenticeship. I need to complete a minimum of 6000 hours to gain my qualification so I'm trying to brute force that by working longer hours. Each week I set aside 500-700 dollars to put into my stock investments. My net worth is about 180k at the moment

My plan is to make a post every week. This is mostly to hold myself accountable and to insure I'm actually on track to accomplishing my goals. 
I'm very appreciative of everyone on this forum and I have been lurking this place off and on for years. I went from being insanely nervous and actually getting sweaty when I'm around girls to actually having fwbs, ons, and relationships with women


Goals / TLDR:

Pornography: Stop watching porn and only fap once a week max

Dating and Relationships: Determine if I want casual or long-term relationships. Focus on self-improvement and becoming more attractive

Financial Goals: Aim for a $1 million net worth by saving and investing regularly. Create a budget, diversify investments, and stay informed

Accountability: Post regularly to hold myself accountable and seek support from a community

Mental health: Try to accept my body for what it is and not succumb to further body dysphoria. Stop doomscrolling and spending so much time on addictive algorithms i.e. youtube/insta/tiktok

 

[Bopbap1337]

Week 1 update. First week getting back into dating after breaking off a long term relationship

This week went pretty well, I contacted my previous fwbs and made a bumble.

My old fwbs actually thought I was trying to cheat on my partner. Funny. I tell her we're broken up now and I'm back dating. She seems happy to hear from me but she couldn't hang out that night. Next day she sends me flirty messages but it was at 3am and I was fast asleep

For bumble photos, I used the advice on a thread here: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2302&p=67180#p67180
(Btw, sorry for making that thread. I should've posted in Pics Feedback Megathread)

Basically used the advice foducossy said and it seemed to work. Matched with this lady who was a little overweight but had enormous tits so I didn't much mind. She invites me to a bar right next to her apartment building. I pop a 20mg cialis pill and head over. Had so much fun. She knew half the guys in the bar and I actually ended up chatting with all of her friends and had a blast. She gets annoyed I'm spending more time talking to her friends than her. She must've told me atleast 5 times I'm not going to get laid tonight. After a couple hours we leave the the bar and she takes me back to her place

Okay guys, listen. This was my first time trying cialis and it was AMAZING. Got so hard and stayed hard even after cumming. I get nervous when I'm with a new girl and will sometimes have difficulty staying hard. I think I'll be taking cialis regularly from now on

 

[Bopbap1337]

Week 2 update

I Set up three dates. One for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Super attractive women too. Saturday girl cancels and says she's sick but I'm not too fussed.

Girl I met last week has been messaging me and says she's keen to fuck some more. Cool, but tbh I'm trying to score with hotter women. Another women I've been snap chatting with seems very keen on a hookup which is great but she's 38 and more of a 6-7/10. I tell her I'm not sure yet but when I'm free I'll message her

Thursday afternoon I re-confirm date with Friday girl. She says yes but she's nervous. I tell her everything will be fine we'll just grab something to eat and have a quick chat. She seems to feel better and I'm feeling really good about this one

Come friday morning she completely ghosts me. She doesn't respond and her bumble is completely gone, which means she's actually blocked me. To be completely honest with you this made me tear up a little. We had been talking everyday for a week and I was getting attached

What I learned:

1: I'm very sensitive and I get oneitis

2: Even running just one dating app is proving pretty fruitful in terms of setting up dates. Actually getting dates, however

TLDR

Three dates were set up and then two were cancelled

Cried like a little bitch over one of the flakes

Time to make a tinder, hinge, and OkCupid

 

[Bopbap1337]

Week 3 update

Pretty good week. 3 lays

Saturday: (This is last saturday) I messaged and old fwbs who i used to see over a year ago and she invited me straight over to her's late at night. Was good fun, got pretty lucky with the timing of this one

Sunday: My date that I had organized decided she didn't want to get a coffee or lunch and after we have a phone call she decides to come straight to my place. Tells me she's a virgin, I say cool we won't do anything you're uncomfortable with. Started with lots of cuddling and making out and then doing almost everything except for piv

Monday: I open bumble and I see the women who ghosted me on Friday. I matched with her and she apologized and said her bumble fucked up when she switched it to friend mode. We plan another date for Thursday

Wednesday: Virgin girl comes to my place again. This time she's feeling more confident and giving better BJs. Still no piv but I prefer a good BJ anyway

Thursday: Date was interesting. I was pretty disappointed with her appearance. Not a total catfish but her face didn't look much like it did in her pics. She looked okay though and had a great figure. We got dinner, ice-cream, and a drink. Her parents are absolutely loaded and she paid for most of the date. Didn't close but still had a really nice time. Not sure if I want to see her again as she was a little catfishy and her English is subpar

I made a tinder and a hinge but I'm not using them much yet. Bumble seems to be working for the time being. I'm also completely porn free for a month and I haven't fapped since either.

These are the photos I'm running in case anyone is interested. Definitely an area I should work on improving

 

[Bopbap1337]

Week 4 update

Pretty Average week. Got another blowjob from virgin girl Saturday night and she slept over and left in the morning

Had a date on Monday and Tuesday. Monday date went really well, got a quick bite to eat and then had some drinks at a local bar. Date lasted over 3 hours and we kissed at the end. I'm super into this girl but I'm doing better at not getting the oneitis that I usually get. Really looking forward to seeing her again but doing my best to keep my happiness not outcome dependent. We've been messaging and she wants to see me again after this weekend

Tuesday girl was SUPER cute and was very into me. However, her English wasn't amazing. She messaged me after the date and the next day but I had to reject her. Felt super bad about that actually.

Yesterday evening I added a shirtless pic on tinder and I've had a small surge of matches. A different caliber of women too, they are definitely more attractive and kinky than my matches on bumble

Trying to decide if I should pay for tinder platinum or not. I know it's recommended in the tinder guide but I'm not getting many matches on tinder in the first place. Maybe 2-6 a day. I am talking to about 5 girls on tinder at the moment and seeing if I can setup any dates

I've been feeling very insecure about not having a car and not being able to drive. The girl on Monday even dropped me off home. Definitely doesn't feel very cool

First shot at making my own rings, was pretty fun making them. Got a necklace and got a few more pics. I'm still trying to figure out what actually makes a good dating app picture because I'm basically flying blind
https://imgur.com/a/5hW2xQJ

 

[Bopbap1337]

Week 5 update

Had a date on Monday and Thursday and, hooked up with a tinder girl on Friday. I have another date planned tomorrow as well.

Monday's date was terrible. The women was hardcore into wokeism and wouldn't stop talking about the patriarchy and Palestine. Kept saying how she hates white cis men especially if they are old. She's 20 and tells me later that she usually only sleeps with white men in their late thirties. Fucking ironic. It was kinda fun arguing I suppose but I cut the date short. Way too many red flags

Thursday girl was great. Smart, eloquent, very cute. However, she was a bit of a catfish. Had a great date nonetheless. I might stay in contact and be friends with her

Friday's hookup was great on paper. Literally the best BJ I ever had. Fucked her tits and came all over her. She had a great time and is adamant to see me again. She wasn't into cuddling though and I fucking love cuddling, almost more than sex.

After I went home I felt kinda empty and depressed. I realized I have no friends and not much of a social life. Lately I've only been going out to meet women and It's made me feel empty and sad inside

I might switch my focus away from dating for some time. I feel a lot better now than I have proven to myself that I can get plenty of dates and hookups if I want. On the money side of things, I've got myself a business partner and we plan to get an investment property. My stocks are also doing well and I'm considering doing Fifo in the aussie mines next year to make significantly more income that I can invest back into stocks/property

 

[kratjeuh]

After I went home I felt kinda empty and depressed. I realized I have no friends and not much of a social life. Lately I've only been going out to meet women and It's made me feel empty and sad inside

You can combine them easily since it looks like you have a lot of time.

Date during the week, friends during the weekend. That’s far more healthy than only seeing girls

 

[Squilliam]

Speaking from my own experience, just going out to meet girls and not having other friends or sources of social interaction tends to be a recipe for a shitty life. You might want to consider going to some meetups if you don't have many friends

 

[Bopbap1337]

Week 6 update

Didn't really do anything related to girls this week. Took kratjeuh and Squilliam's advice and instead spent time with some friends and family. I should probably work on building a better social life.

Week 7 update

This week was a banger, two hookups and 1 date. All three girls are very keen on being FWBs with me.

Went to a second date with this tall, sweet, korean girl who I thought was wanting a LTR. had a long and incredibly innocent second date. Ended with just a little kiss. next day she tells me she's not ready for a serious relationship. I felt absolutely gutted because I was really thinking long-term with her. I asked what sort of friendship she wants and she says FWBs. I suppose so? I had more romantic and serious feelings for her so not sure how healthy this will be for me

I met up with this tall, slender, blonde girl. We have a couple drinks and she does 90 percent of the talking. Tells me her whole life story. We go back to her place, get high and fuck. She's made it clear to me that she just wants to be casual for now

There's another asian girl I've been messaging off and on for the past month on a vegetarian dating app. Didn't have a great idea what she looked like so when I saw her in person I was gobsmacked. She looks crazy attractive. Got a quick dinner then headed to a bar. She massages my shoulders while I had my drink then I get her to turn around so I can massage her shoulders. I put my hand around her little neck and this gets her all turned on. Ended up making out in the bar.  A lot of heads were turning to look at us so we decided to go back to my place and have lots of kinky sex. In the morning we decided to go to the mall. I get her to try on all kinds of sexy and slutty outfits. Time with her was probably the most fun I've ever had with a girl. I would love a real relationship with her but again, like the other two girls, she only wants to be FWB

For anyone reading this I want to emphasize how important it is having a muscular body. My photos are sub par, I'm average height, my fashion sense is shit, and lord knows my social skills aren't very good. Despite this I seem to have an almost limitless supply of women to date/hookup with. It dawned on me at the mall, out of the hundreds of people there I was easily the most muscular. This is what's giving me the competitive edge on dating apps I think. I also recommend people train neck and forearm muscles as those are always visible no matter what you wear. I've managed to grow my neck so it's just about as wide as my head and I know for a fact that most woman get turned on by my forearms in particular

 

[Bopbap1337]

Update for the last few weeks

I went traveling for the first time last week. Went with my ex to Melbourne and explored the city a bit. I've been thinking of moving there for the better pay and cost of living

I've stopped using all dating apps for the time being. I currently have 3 FWBs who I'm seeing regularly plus my ex who I guess also counts as a FWB.

I'm having a stressful time juggling several FWBs so I'm going to cut one or two of them out. I've learned that just having one girl who I see once or twice a week is plenty enough for my sexual needs. Overall, things have been really good on the dating side of my life. I'm switching focus to money now


My goals at the start and how they have progressed:

Pornography: Cut down on porn by about 90 percent in the past three months. Success

Dating and Relationships: Built casual relationships and got laid tons of times in the past three months. Success

Financial Goals: This has stayed exactly the same. No success

Mental health: My mental health has improved considerably over the last few months. My body dysphoria is significantly better. I always felt like my muscles weren't big enough and got very close to taking SARMs. However, since virtually every girl I met and slept with has commented on how muscular I am I have stopped being so insecure about this. One girl even said she likes my crooked teeth which was another insecurity I had which I now feel better about. Success


Can't thank this community enough. I went from horrible anxiety with women and dating to being able to simply build a whole FWBs group for consistent and regular sex. Years ago when I was about 22 I would literally stutter and sweat in the presence of women but now I can fuck three different girls a week if I wanted. I lurk this community every week and whenever I feel my confidence slipping I jump on here because there's so many inspiring people out here working to better themselves and accomplish their goals

This will probably be my last update as my goals are now moving towards my finances