• Welcome to the forums, Guest. Please note that you must make a post in the introduction thread and upload an avatar to gain full access to the forums.

Cold Approach Log: Journey to Abundance

AmericanAndy

AmericanAndy

Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2021
Whenever I try to go out and do approaches I feel sadness or despair. I haven't had a date after using several dating apps and cold approaching for 7 months. They tell me they are married, have a boyfriend or they're lesbian. Should I keep going and feeling terrible? Stick with online?
 
Online - you need to improve your profile (post it up here and we can help)
Approach - you need to up the volume. The answer is usually talk to more girls

Congrats on taking action with both of these already, you just need to start taking better action rather than spinning wheels

I advise turning this into a log, setting out your concrete goals and guys here will help you along the way
 
ok here's a link to my tinder profile https://tinder.com/@liftbig. I'm going to try more approaches tomorrow. Trying to get at least 3. So far my mood hasn't been that great to do more at once.
 
AmericanAndy said:
ok here's a link to my tinder profile https://tinder.com/@liftbig. I'm going to try more approaches tomorrow. Trying to get at least 3. So far my mood hasn't been that great to do more at once.
Click to expand...

Props for posting your Tinder profile.

You really need to improve your photos, they are quite bad.

#1 selfie with a phone camera. Don't use a selfie as your first pic and use a DSLR.

#2 Extremely blurry and pixelated (I could count every pixel by hand). Another selfie, this time a mirror one. You also have a very sad expression in the photo.

#3 and #4 Are basically the same photo: extremely close-up selfie from a very unflattering angle. #4 you have dark circles around your eyes because of the lighting source.

#5 Another mirror selfie. Top tier frame (wide shoulders), that is very good. You can take a much better photo that shows off your physique and frame.

Overall I would say that your profile is way below average. You're not a bad looking guy, you just take very bad photos and they're all selfies. Get a DSLR or have someone with a DLSR take photos of you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWeLny1Di94&t=1301s
https://killyourinnerloser.com/why-your-tinder-pictures-suck/

What to aim for:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/inspiration/
 
Did three more cold approaches today. First one she ignored me and I don't think she could speak English either. Second one I started talking to in Spanish but then she suddenly said she had to go. Last girl simply said no thanks.

Just sent an email out asking for photo rates. I might get a tripod and use my own DSLR to see if I can get any good shots.
 
You've got a similar issue to me - camera anxiety. I feel awkward making eye contact with anything involving a lens and I can't pose well. Not to be rude, but you look rather unhappy in your current photos.

I ended up getting various mates/wings to take photos of me out and about. I then used FaceApp and Photoshop to make my expressions look less awkward and to tone up lighting. Finally I used PhotoFeeler to gauge their worth by women. If it was rated 8 or more out of 10 overall, I used it online.

Hope that helps!
 
I just had some pro photos done. Let me know what ones you like most. I'm trying out photofeeler as well right now.
 
Those are a million times better. You look much more attractive in these photos taken with a proper camera with a good lens compared to your lens distorted selfies.

I hope you have them in a higher quality/resolution? Preferably in RAW format for photoshop. The photos look a little blurry in this overly compressed file size.
 
drifter said:
Those are a million times better. You look much more attractive in these photos taken with a proper camera with a good lens compared to your lens distorted selfies.

I hope you have them in a higher quality/resolution? Preferably in RAW format for photoshop. The photos look a little blurry in this overly compressed file size.
Click to expand...

Yea I have high res, I made thumbnails so it would upload onto the forum. Thanks for feedback.
 
ok i edited 3 of them. will pm you high res versions
you should try this one as your first

View attachment 2

this one as your 2nd

View attachment 1

and this one further back in the line up



this will give you a good base. standing against the wall with white button down is also decent, didn’t have time to edit that one (facial expression is a bit too sad). even if you use just those first 3 photos (don’t add inferior photos just for the sake of adding them, especially not in repeating clothes) you should see an immediate improvement over your last profile.

priorities for your next photoshoot:
- group photo where you are smiling…hire someone or ask strangers if you don’t have friends, doesn’t matter
- animal photo..take photographer to the shelter if you or your friends don’t have one..those dogs need someone to play with them, it’s a win win for you and the shelter/dogs
- hobby photo (can be literally anything, even cooking, whatever). should look natural and not posed…don’t look at the camera

your style is also pretty bad…shirts and jeans are too loose, shoes aren’t good, not a fan of that necklace either. good thing that’s one of the fastest areas to fix. Radical

great job on taking action and making immediate improvements. keep at it
 
Fuck yeah those pics look awesome keep going brother. I also feel despair sometimes you are not alone but trust me we will make it.

MAC
 
Rags2Bitches said:
ok i edited 3 of them. will pm you high res versions
you should try this one as your first

69835D83-3EBC-4887-891D-DA5708D5E568.jpeg

this one as your 2nd

7EB2D192-0890-4253-A28C-5FC9666E37CA.jpeg

and this one further back in the line up

C7CE19AB-40EA-4548-B2DD-F96FD391EE34.jpeg

this will give you a good base. standing against the wall with white button down is also decent, didn’t have time to edit that one (facial expression is a bit too sad). even if you use just those first 3 photos (don’t add inferior photos just for the sake of adding them, especially not in repeating clothes) you should see an immediate improvement over your last profile.

priorities for your next photoshoot:
- group photo where you are smiling…hire someone or ask strangers if you don’t have friends, doesn’t matter
- animal photo..take photographer to the shelter if you or your friends don’t have one..those dogs need someone to play with them, it’s a win win for you and the shelter/dogs
- hobby photo (can be literally anything, even cooking, whatever). should look natural and not posed…don’t look at the camera

your style is also pretty bad…shirts and jeans are too loose, shoes aren’t good, not a fan of that necklace either. good thing that’s one of the fastest areas to fix. @Radical

great job on taking action and making immediate improvements. keep at it
Click to expand...

Thanks man. What were the types of clothes you think are better? I usually fit a large for shirts. As for pants it can be kind of odd trying to find ones that will fit since I have long legs. I'm 6ft 2 (1.88 meters). What kind of necklaces or accessories would be better? When I first chose the clothing I chose a bunch I like at Express Men's and some at Marshalls since it can get really expensive quickly elsewhere to get designer clothes.
 
So far the matches either don't talk or they're a fake profile that asks you sign up for their onlyfans. Really frustrating and annoying as hell. I'm going to get back to doing cold aproaches. Tinder is an awful experience so far.
 
How many cold approaches have you done in that 7 months? If you are only doing 3 in a session and expecting results then your views on cold approach are majorly skewed
 
AmericanAndy said:
So far the matches either don't talk or they're a fake profile that asks you sign up for their onlyfans. Really frustrating and annoying as hell. I'm going to get back to doing cold aproaches. Tinder is an awful experience so far.
Click to expand...

Ok come on this is way too soon to think about giving up...you saw an improvement in matches from the actions you took earlier but it was just the first step.

You’ve done one (1) photoshoot. You haven’t changed your style. You have no photos with a different facial expression, any hobbies, or a single other animal or human.

Is your tinder the same one you have linked earlier in this thread?

If so, may I ask why you haven’t used the photos I took the time out of my non-depressing day to edit? And why you aren’t using only those 4 in the order I suggested so your clothes aren’t repeating which clearly indicates all your photos are from one photoshoot?

Also why is your age shown as 34?most girls on tinder in North America are 18-25...some older ppl on the app too, sure, but you’re much better off using bumble and hinge as your real age and changing your tinder to 25-27 and hiding the age (can put the real one in bio if you want as Andy’s tinder guide suggests).

I hope I’m wrong about the above or you aren’t taking yourself nearly as seriously as you need to be
 
Your first question of this entire thread beckons to a deeper issue that needs to be resolved. Depression is serious dude. Happiness is fleeting and at the end of the day no woman will solve how you're feeling deep down inside. As part of your journey to self improvement I recommend working on your mental health as well. Nobody is perfect we all try and all struggle. What really gives you long lasting joy (not fleeting happiness) in life? Is there something you're passionate about?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top