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Dead Ends & Tire Kickers

Mav

Mav

Member
Joined
Jun 12, 2020
So how do you guys avoid dealing with tire kickers? Thought I had a pretty decent lead from tinder... we were vibing well back and forth... good chemistry over text. So about six messages in (which took about 4 days to get to, but they were long messages), I ask her out using a modified format of Andy's let's grab a drink line. She agrees and we setup for Saturday. When I went to confirm with her, got a bs excuse about the hurricane blah blah blah. When I cut to the chase, she admits she isnt interested and was hesitant to tell someone no.

I get a lot of tire kickers, which I'm sure is somewhat normal but pisses me off. It's not as much it being a complete waste of my time, as much as it is thinking I have a solid lead. I have reduced the amount of waste of timers by switching to Andy's more direct messaging. But I'll still have quite a few agree when they have 0 interest in actually meeting up.

Maybe I need a more ruthless approach. You're either in or you're out and if you flake on first date, delete and next automatically. I used to feel I was losing some decent leads this way. (Keep in mind, I'm looking for something that could turn into a relationship, not just a bunch of one night stands or fwb's)

What do you guys think?
 
Did you read Andy’s tinder guide?

You’re going about it all wrong.

Looking for the 1 night stands and FWBs leads to long term relationships.

Sounds counter intuitive to people just starting but once you get laid enough and have multiple long term FWBs you get the option of long term relationships.

Also why take 6 days to get a girls number. You should go for it the day you match with her.

Once you get that number or match honestly. If you don’t hangout with her in 48 hours you were never going to in my opinion

Also you should focus on just getting laid/experience first. Otherwise you will most likely end up settling for some average/boring or worse abusive girlfriend.
 
In my experience, fwb and one night stands have just led to monkey branching. And I don't expect anything more than an average girlfriend, not a great looking guy haha... women have infinite options these days.

I would have gotten her number faster if I could. It wasn't six days, it was four. She'd send a message a day lol... but they were longer messages, so I assumed there was a bit of interest.

The 48 hour rule hasn't been my experience. Most of the girls I've slept with we ended up meeting a week or later after matching. Even my most recent one. But obviously, the sooner the better.
 
Hopefully KillYourInnerLoser chado can articulate all this better than me or help you understand this a bit better. Or explain your original posts questions.


So let me start by saying you only have around 6 lays right?

You don’t have enough experience to say every girl monkey branches....

Also, if that was even the case... consider this why are they monkey branching? If you put in the work to become that guy akin to chado or KillYourInnerLoser they Typically stick around/fight for your attention.

There also seems to be a bit of a mindset issue with you. You only expect an average girl?? This forum is about exceeding expectations.

There’s a lot of dudes on GLL/KYIL and in real life who aren’t “goodlooking” model types that attract/date hot girls/high value (insert whatever PUA bullshit).

My buddy whom I posted in one of chados tinder threads embodies it as well.
 
I didn't say that all women monkey branch. Being someone akin to Andy or Chado, just isn't realistically possible for everyone. I'm sure they busted their asses for what they've achieved and I'm not taking that away from them but not everyone has the same obstacles or genetic ceiling to work with. While this shouldn't stop anyone from putting 100% in, it matters.
 
I've read it. It's a good article and have done quite a bit of it before ever even reading it. It does say how important looks are though. It's true, the better you look the better everything you'll have... retention, opportunities, etc.

Anyways, posted the thread to figure out how to minimize time wasters. Matching and getting a number/date setup same day has rarely worked. I guess I'll just be more ruthless and if they're not in immediately, they're out. Get on average 8-10 tinder matches a week but just can't convert them... no matter how well it seems like we vibe. Can take months to find one girl who doesn't flake, then we usually aren't a match.
 
Are you saying I can hit the same level looks wise or with girls?
 
Which one? Guessing same level of girls because if you look at a picture of Chad, compared to me, it's pretty clear I'd never come close to looking halfway as good, or tall. It just isn't possible. Looks is a huge factor for most attractive women, so how do I get Chad level girls with low level looks? Not trying to be argumentative but I'm really having a hard time wrapping my head around that.
 
I don't see the reason for deleting their number. Just save the numbers and in a couple of weeks/months/whatever send out a mass text to all of the numbers you have. If you have 100+ numbers at least a couple of them would be dtf eventually. Don't think about commitment before you hit first, that automatically puts you in the weaker position.
 
l0vebone said:
I don't see the reason for deleting their number. Just save the numbers and in a couple of weeks/months/whatever send out a mass text to all of the numbers you have. If you have 100+ numbers at least a couple of them would be dtf eventually. Don't think about commitment before you hit first, that automatically puts you in the weaker position.
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These are numbers from tinder so I doubt they'd even remember who I was a month down the line, if they weren't interested in the first place. I get the mass approach but having 100 numbers would take years for me now. I technically didn't even get the most recent girls number. She "accidentally" gave me the wrong phone number, by one number, after agreeing to meet up.
 
Mav said:
l0vebone said:
I don't see the reason for deleting their number. Just save the numbers and in a couple of weeks/months/whatever send out a mass text to all of the numbers you have. If you have 100+ numbers at least a couple of them would be dtf eventually. Don't think about commitment before you hit first, that automatically puts you in the weaker position.
Click to expand...

These are numbers from tinder so I doubt they'd even remember who I was a month down the line, if they weren't interested in the first place. I get the mass approach but having 100 numbers would take years for me now. I technically didn't even get the most recent girls number. She "accidentally" gave me the wrong phone number, by one number, after agreeing to meet up.
Click to expand...

you seem to be missing the point, get the numbers anyways. You literally have nothing to lose. Just save them anyways.
 
Mav said:
Which one? Guessing same level of girls because if you look at a picture of Chad, compared to me, it's pretty clear I'd never come close to looking halfway as good, or tall. It just isn't possible. Looks is a huge factor for most attractive women, so how do I get Chad level girls with low level looks? Not trying to be argumentative but I'm really having a hard time wrapping my head around that.
Click to expand...

I had the same mentally - oh I'll never be good looking enough to get pussy blablabla. I wasted a huge amount if time reading self-improvement shit, forums, the read pill RSD videos etc... It did not help much. Then there is this one dumb story from a comedian, talking about his encounter with Al Pacino that completely changed my mentality and that I love to share.

(skip to 8:40 if you don't have time for the full story) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHmnaevqLag&t=525s

Basically you can be a 5 in terms of look - and still fuck 12s if you have everything else going well for you - personality, wealth, social skills... Of course a world class actor is an extreme example. But work on improving yourself - the things you have control over. And forget about the few things you cannot improve. Results will come.
 
Yeah but you are good looking enough haha. I'm stuck on the low end, with not much I can do besides work out. Anyway the "but not so great looking world famous millionaire actors can fuck really hot girls"... That is just so preposterous but people make this argument all the time. Going bald? Well Jason Statham is bald! Lol. I truly appreciate your comment and listened to the video, but it has no bearing to my situation.

Maybe I'm just on the wrong forum. I really appreciate all the advice, the community is great but my goal isn't to bang 100 whores or fuck 12's.
 
Mav said:
the community is great but my goal isn't to bang 100 whores or fuck 12's.
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The goal was never really to bang 100 whores or fuck 12s. To be honest, I'd just be happy banging a new chick a month.

The main goal is just to get off a defeatist mindset and keep improving yourself to the point that you can have your pick of girls (whether you wanna bang them or not is up to you), better yourself healthwise, and that you are primed for success however you define it (common is financial). I'm still in the process of fixing this mindset to crush my goals, but I've learned that making excuses in even a single aspect of your life can creep into other areas, too.
 
Mav said:
Maybe I'm just on the wrong forum.
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Yeah that's what I think after reading a few of your posts/threads. I'm not sure how things are over there nowadays, but Reddit seems like a better option for you. I say this based on how you process the feedback you're getting in this forum
 
Crisis_Overcomer said:
Mav said:
Maybe I'm just on the wrong forum.
Click to expand...

Yeah that's what I think after reading a few of your posts/threads. I'm not sure how things are over there nowadays, but Reddit seems like a better option for you. I say this based on how you process the feedback you're getting in this forum
Click to expand...

Naw Reddit is garbage
 
MattsCrib said:
Mav said:
Naw Reddit is garbage
Click to expand...

What ARE your goals with girls? I understand that you don't want random lays, me neither.
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Ultimately a relationship. Not just running through a bunch of slutty girls who have rotations of guys haha. The last three I hooked up with were like that, to each their own, but not what I'm after.

Part of me thinks I just need to do away with the "Disney World" mentality and transition to a more James Bond, jaded, don't give a fuck attitude.

I admire your restraint though man, not a lot of guys out there like that anymore. I was a virgin until 25. Ultimately decided I didn’t want to wait for a meaningful relationship, seeing there wasn't a great chance of it happening for me.
 
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