Do you need a period of doing nothing but chasing girls in order to get over your fuckboy phase?

[JamalHash123]

For the past 4-5 months or so work's been pretty quiet and I'd been working from home so I'd spent most of my time just dicking around and sending like three emails a day. I'd spent the last 4-5 months being absolutely obsessed with girls - starting to learn cold approach, going out to bars solo on Fridays if I got ghosted on a date to try and pick up a ONS, and just generally having my life completely revolve around girls and trying to hook up with as many as possible.

Now I'd always spent my life as a horny motherfucker and I'd always been active on apps etc, but until the last four-five months I'd never been absolutely obsessed with girls. I suspect that's because I always had school or finding a job as my primary goal, and with work being quiet I had no direction in my life so I just devolved into complete debauchery.

With apps, over the last four-five years or so I'd racked up a lay count of ~100, but I never felt completely "over" getting laid. I'd still masturbate every day. I'd get cranky if I wasn't getting a new girl every month.
With the last four-five months, it was even more extreme. I'd go out trawling for girls on daygame whenever I had any free time. I went out during lunch breaks just to cold approach. I'd swipe apps every hour. I'd masturbate twice a day. Again, I think because I was so bored at work I had no direction in my life. The bright side is that I do think that I completely mastered day-game in the past four-five months, my one sticking point. Five lays from daygame with about 120 approaches. I'm pretty happy with that, I think it's "solved" for me now.

In the last month or so, something changed. I wanted to jump to another job, so I spent a lot of time on that. All my thoughts about girls melted away. I started masturbating only once every four days instead of once a day. I swiped apps once a day only. I had no emotional response when girls flaked. I just didn't think much about girls anymore, other than having sex once a week or two weeks simply in order to maintain my sanity. It reminded me of my times in college when I told all my girls that I couldn't see them because I had to study for exams, and I would just completely ignore girls for the few weeks before exams, and I loved that feeling this time around.

I hope this feeling stays, because this time around, I've learned to embrace and love this feeling. But I also thought...why didn't I get this feeling sooner? I'd gotten a hundred lays from apps. Why didn't I "get over" girls on, say, my 50th online dating lay? I think this was because of several reasons:

1. The four-five months of completely debauchery taught me how shitty it felt to be completely consumed by girls. When I was on apps in the past five years (except for the last four-five months) I was never completely consumed by girls because I always had some primary goal (school or work). In other words I went all-in on trying to fuck as many girls as possible. Yes I got laid more in those four-five months than I'd ever gotten laid in a four-five month period in my entire life but it felt horrible. Girls are inherently unpredictable and getting laid is a random numbers game. I hate uncertainty since I'm a control freak. I hated emotionally being at the beck-and-call of fickle girls.

2. By getting lays from daygame I feel like I'd finally "solved" the game of getting girls, in that there is a straightforward formula - talk to 100 girls, swipe 1000 girls, and I'd probably get laid at least once. aka. I know how to get laid. Previously I was overly reliant on apps which worked for me but I'd never learned how to talk to stranger girls in the day or at night, so I always felt like I was missing something - that I'd never I'd never completely learned how to pick up girls. By feeling like I "solved" the game it meant that I finally felt like I knew how to get laid whenever I wanted.

Both of the above are consistent with what GLL about consistently - that you have to have a period in your life where you're absolutely consumed with nothing but getting laid in order to get over wanting to get laid. I quote:

I don't believe that "picking up girls" should be a long-term lifestyle.I do feel, however, for guys in their 20's, it is both healthy and rewarding to dedicate a couple of years to first beating your anxiety (~6 months) and then Getting Laid (12-18+ months).Besides, you know and I know that devoting yourself to ONE GOAL will yield far faster and better results than multitasking and usually getting jack shit done.

But I'm also really scared that this feeling of finally "being over" girls won't last. Scared because I'm so much more productive (with my health, career, and other side ventures) when I'm "over" girls.

Appreciate thoughts from men who actually get laid and have since stepped away from that life. Very happy to hear from anyone else who prioritized nothing but hookups for a while and then finally got over it. Cheers all, thanks in advance.

 

[Thebastard]

I think you need to achieve your goals before you can truly give youself permission to 'move on.'

I empathise with a lot of what you say about still feeling on the fence even after a ton of bangs. When you start off, getting 10 lays in a year is pretty awesome. But its unlikely you will be satisfied with that alone even if it was a huge achievement compared to where you started.

Maybe you weren't happy with the quality of the girls. Maybe you weren't happy with the EFFORT you had to put in to get those 10 lays. Maybe you felt quite rightly that you can't really move on until you have become 'efficient' enough such that you don't NEED to make getting girls your number 1 priority anymore.

I look at getting laid like a business. Gross profit being lays after time + effort + expenses + dates etc. One must ask himself: am I profitable? Who has it better. The man who approaches 300 girls and gets 1 lay. Or the guy who approaches 30 girls and gets 1 lay? If the man truly wants to KNOW he can get laid and benefit from solid confidence and abundance mentality that comes with that, he must feel like his ROI is acceptable. So if he does go into making money as his new passion, he won't be kept awake at night wondering if he can REALLY get laid like the 2nd guy in this example. Not the first guy who is basically running on luck.

I personally am committing to making money even though I am not 100% happy with my sex life and 'profitability.' I do feel there comes a point where more harm comes from good when focusing 100% on pussy. But I am talking after 2-3 years. If you devoted your entire late 20s to fix your sex life then of course you still have decades to make the money magic happen!