Hey,
Just like you, i was in a situation were i couldn't have a conversation, even small talk to someone was weird and you could feel that people didn't really wanted to talk to me. Yet i figured it out and fixed it, now it's easy for me to have conversation and get friends. There is basically 3 point that you need to focus on. So here is what i learned and how to make friends
if you want to make friends, don't force it, because you will instinctively become needy and wierd (because you want something from the personne you are talking to, so you are putting them into a pedestal). You just need to do activities for yourself, like boxing, climbing, walking, going to museum ... Stuff that you would do even if you don't meet anyone during the acitivity and you will not just go home if you see that there is no one in the room (actually if you go climbing and there is no one around you, just go home lol). And then, whenever you can, go small talk to people. This will make you meet a lot of people, and whenever you got a good talk with someone, ask to go grab a drink/see them again or propose an other activity.
For the talking, to be good at conversation, you absolutly don't need to be interresting. All you need to do is
being interrested and be creative! So your job is basically start the conversation with some contextual fact (like what is going on around you, even the weather), ask question and listen. And if you are really interested in other people, they will talk to you and will be happy about that because they can now have an experience where they can spit out all that stuff they want to talk about.
Obviously, you need some material to keep the conversation flowing, to change the subject and to free the other person from all the attention (at some point beeing the talker, even if it's all about you, can be tiering so they will eventually start asking question about you). But you can replace the knowledge by creativity, because you can juste change the topic based on what was just said, or ask a questions/talk about stuff that have just poped in your mind.
Then there is the appearance, this is not a news : being attractive make people want to talk to you and like you. So you need to smell Ok/Good, be clean (no stain or non-fishion ripped clothes), well groomed, fit, good posture, not fidgeting, etc. Because the less attractive you are, the more they will reject and apprehend your attention, especially girls. On top of that, body language and emotional intelligence can really damaged an interraction if you don't have any controle on theses.
To summerize, the 3 key point :
- "meet people by doing activities" and not "do activities for meeting people", let your interactions be organic and don't be needy
- Become a good listener
- Be as much attractive and charming as you can
Here is some material :
- Letting go : the pathway of surrender
- The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism
- How to win friends and influence people
- The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation
- How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
- Youtube video : Jordan Peterson - How to Really LISTEN to Someone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J24TGZDk960
PS : I back up all SIGMA_1234 said, and it seems that you don't focus on the right thing. Don't try to be interresting, try being interrested
Gabriel