How to deal with flakes?

[Vamos]

I hope it's okay to post this here, I can't think of a better area. And since 99% of my dates come from online dating, I think that's okey.

What is the best way to deal with flakes? It really annoys me to be honest and I used to have this issue a lot less back then, but now it's constant. It just happened again, had a date with a pretty girl on Friday. The date went very well and then she suggested that we watch the new episode of "House if Dragons" on Sunday at my home (aka lay you know). Now comes the rejection that she allegedly has a stomach ache. We also postponed the first date because of menstrual pain. Maybe it's true maybe not. That pisses me off, because I have extremely little time for dating.

This is just one example of many, Falkes are very common for me at the moment, but I almost never had them before.
How do you react to something like that? How do you deal with this mentally with yourself and what do you say to the woman?

Btw this is my Tinder account: https://tinder.com/@davidasdfg

 

[klondike]

It sounds like you have outcome independence. I'm the same: when girls flake I'm nearly always a bit glad, because there's always something better or more important for me to be doing.

My line is for sudden illness is always two texts in succession:
"Llllame"
"Feel better"

For something else (eg doctor's appointment, no excuse given, have to give a ride) it's always:
"Llllame"

Then re-ping a few days later with a dumb meme or something. Some come out.

 

[Kurvam]

I've been experimenting the last months with a new response, when a girl flakes i ask her 'is this genuine or you just changed your mind about meeting generally?' 80-90% they then confess they don't feel like meeting anymore for whatever reason they give. Then the rest of the time the girls give an objection/worry about the meet which i can then address directly, then sometimes it is genuinely why they said (eg being sick) and in that case so far the girls always wrote to me afterwards to rearrange the date.

Works well because you don't waste time hitting them up afterwards when in reality they aren't interested and some will not tell you that directly. If you've already met the girl for a date it could be different, vast majority of flakes i get are girls i have not met so i haven't really used this on ones i have already met up with.

 

[Mimbe393939]

Instead of making new forum threads, make a log and then re-write the title with your new post "Vamos Progress Log - DEALING WITH FLAKES! "

"What is the best way to deal with flakes? "

To just deal with it lol. You can answer this question yourself, I'm sure.

Move on, and talk to more girls. You should not care about flakes, because you're talking to so many new girls, and have stuff going on in your life.

 

[Manganiello]

How do you react to something like that? How do you deal with this mentally with yourself and what do you say to the woman?

If there was a way to do this we would all be swimming in a never ending stream of pussy.

Practically speaking:
Use Bumble instead of tinder (each girl has higher engagement)

Get better at texting.

Engage girls more pre-date with a quick 10-20min FaceTime.

But ultimately there really isn't a fix.
No matter how good looking you are girls will be girls.

My solution was just to get so many dates I don't give AF. That worked cuz I got sick of having so many dates. Flaking was actually a relief lol.


But tbh dude.


I'm actually surprised you're asking this. Your profile is top tier and you look like a guy who has a lot of experience, this question is a bit of a beginner one.

 

[Vamos]

Update: I had Sex with her on the second date, but i had to ghost her afterwards.

She canceled the first date because "she felt sick" -> I asked for new one

She canceled the second date because "she felt sick" -> I asked for new one -> had sex with her (she was extremely inexperienced, she also told me that)

We found out we're in the same gym. We agreed to go together the next day. And for sure she canceled again because "she has asthma". She also didn't make an alternative suggestion, so i didn't reply and ghosted her. She obviously has very bad behavior and isn't fit for any LTR for that reason, so why bother to see her again.

There was no reaction from her side for the last 2-3 weeks, but since yesterday she has been reacting to my instagram stories. Satisfaction for me, but meanwhile I have other "projects".

 

[Vamos]

make a log

Good idea, i'll start a log.