I am disappointed with myself

[HyperR]

Hey all,

This is my first post on the site
I am writing this after going on my first date in several months where I just hung around not doing much.

It all went well since I can talk for hours about random shit. However I made a promise to myself that I would kiss the girl at the end of the date. Turns out I am a fucking pussy and only managed a kiss on her cheek.

I know the process is all about small steps and positive thoughts but now I am really disappointed with myself because I didn't achieve a goal that I set. Plus I am thinking that the girl thinks that I am socially retarded.

Wtf do I do? I know if I get some sleep this felling will go way but I really don't want this shit to happen again

 

[Wifty]

Don't be disappointed.



Acknowledge you are, then time to adapt.

You didn't make what you wanted. Ok
Next move is baby steps as you said.


If your goal is too hard for you now (That's normal), time to make it baby steps like you said.
That means your goal needs to be cut down into 5 steps for example.

Next goals are for example :
Holding her hands for 2 secs.
Then 5 secs.
Then 10 secs

Other goal may be getting closer to her,
Rubbing her hair
2 secs, 5 secs etc...

Then kiss on the cheek
Then kiss on two cheeks, as a "game"
Taking her around your arm...



Then you'll feel more comfortable and it'll be easier for you to go for the kiss.

Even if you followed the steps I wrote down now, you may even feel like kissing her sooner than expected.





Now,
These steps (or other steps you set) can be done onto one women at once or more women.
One one dates or many dates...
Doesn't matter. What matter are the steps and the going further.


Second point.
You May think that it's too much, or that you don't want to waste your time doing these, or that you should be a man and go right to the goal or blabla...


My experience shows that Being mean towards yourself only slows you down.


You sure can go right to the goal but this method of baby steps offers a guuarantee you'll get things done.




Once you kissed on the first date once then it'll be easier and easier and not a big deal anymore.

 

[play_time_is_over]

Just keep trying. It gets easier. Put in the reps and the grind to get better. Maybe it takes you 3 more dates to go for the kiss, maybe 10. Just keep trying.

 

[HyperR]

Thanks guys
I couldn't think about any steps to take
I will apply this and make an update

 

[SamJ_]

Hey all,

This is my first post on the site
I am writing this after going on my first date in several months where I just hung around not doing much.

It all went well since I can talk for hours about random shit. However I made a promise to myself that I would kiss the girl at the end of the date. Turns out I am a fucking pussy and only managed a kiss on her cheek.

I know the process is all about small steps and positive thoughts but now I am really disappointed with myself because I didn't achieve a goal that I set. Plus I am thinking that the girl thinks that I am socially retarded.

Wtf do I do? I know if I get some sleep this felling will go way but I really don't want this shit to happen again

Its ok, beating yourself up never does any good. I've pussied out way worse than you many times so don't worry.

 

[HyperR]

Well, we planned another date for Monday, I will make a post on the private area after that.

I was thinking about why I couldn't bring myself to kiss her, since I put my arm around her and touch her leg and shit, and I think I cracked the code.
She was very shy and was not giving me any signals back. Only after we flirted through text and she sent me a pic of her in a bra, my brain went "oh so she is into me"

You probably already discussed this topic KillYourInnerLoser, but yeah I think that's my biggest issue. If she is shy I am afraid of making a move.

And thanks for all the tips guys, really loving this whole mindset of self-improvement.

 

[BattleCat]

Your mindset should be, always be closing, when being with a girl. It would be a good a idea to do baby steps as others suggested - but dont be afraid to be more physical with a girl, it seems like they are already attracted to you, and a rejection is often mkore present in your mind than in hers.

You need to escalate somehow in first date, if you want to see her another time.