sorry in advance if any of what I'm about to say is egregiously ignoring established issues/roadblocks that were communicated somewhere in your log.
wait actually no I'm not sorry because if you have those you need to put them in your signature or somewhere easily readable cus I aint putting in all that effort to go through peoples logs just to post
MattsCrib said:
In my profile I make it clear that Im looking for experience and casual stuff
this will either do nothing, or decimate your matches, or something in between. depending on the exact specifics of how you worded it - this is where some of the most painful footguns hit despite good intentions
anyway I'm basically saying I suggest removing this. your position on this spectrum:
- alpha chad that I fuck on the first date, pretending to be totalllyyyy into casual, when I actually just want to lock him down and this is my only means of getting his attention
- (rare category in modern dating) billy beta boyfriend who needs to overinvest by a factor of 10 for me to dole out sex tokens in exchange for good behaviour
- unfuckable incel disgusting human being who should not be allowed out on the streets unless its to fix my toilet
is determined entirely by your photos and overall vibe and not by you saying you want a relationship/casual/etc. really, being explicit about what you're looking for will instead:
- filter in more autistic, forebrained, and older girls
- filter out more emotional, casual, younger girls
which is overall very not worth it
anyway thats all theory theory theory ok whats the next thing I can quote reply
MattsCrib said:
This is my level ONE, since for YEARS I was avoiding tinder and online dating like plague (I couldnt get any likes and still dont, but at least Im ready to tackle it again)
ok just gonna say it explicitly rn since no one else has - you will have swings in your results in online dating, you will have low points, you will be tempted to complain
I'm pre emptively banning you from the following type of complaint: ITS MY GENETIC LOOKS / UNCHANGEABLE FACTORS
because
(get ready for the validation!!!!!)
you're attractive and have no major inherent failos.
that's half the battle!
the other half is curing autism, low value, getting better photos, fixing your archetype and incongruency, fixing low hanging fruit in texting and shit. the whole, self improvement thing basically. which has unbounded results really so it's not even half the battle more like 99% if you go far enough
(btw I dont read your log much, I'm just auto-assuming you can improve the above because p much everyone on the forums does)
keep in mind you'll still totally get results without doing any of the above, because being good looking will be enough for some girls
but as you start wanting more these are what you have to focus on as ways to improve later on because they're the actual limiting factors that you'll want to clear out as you grow
MattsCrib said:
Ah i see... Hmm. My female friends also told me that I need at least some more casual pics, as the posed pics look a bit too "catfishy" and even AI generated xD
They told me that its good that my first pic is a bit more "bad boy", which also Andy recommended.
you 99% already know this but literally just ignore whatever women say about your dating profile
(don't ignore how they ACT on it, ie the swipes you get. but do ignore what random women SAY especially when they're your friends and thus not the ones swiping on you, especially when they're your FRIENDS so have to make themselves look like good girls who only go for billy betas, especially when they're YOUR friends so they also want you to feel good and not have to change because you're perfect the way you are
)
MattsCrib said:
Are these pics good enough for now though to get a like or two?
MattsCrib said:
(even with boosts I dont seem to get any likes, as is pretty common I think)
MattsCrib said:
Right now my goal is to get one like. Actually, scrap that. Let's start with 5. I want to know if it works now
MattsCrib said:
Another question: How long does it usually take to get likes on tinder?
hold on, one small question.
are you trying to get laid?
getting laid from online dating usually looks like this:
1. create profile
2. swipe on women
3. text women
4. go on dates with women
5. try to fuck the women
6. repeat 2-5 and improve your profile the whole time to get better results
did you even do any swiping?
why do you keep mentioning waiting for likes? is the end goal to get likes? I thought this forum was for getting laid.
(ok I'm going to interrupt drill sergeant mode for a second, as an unsocialized khhv until 2 years ago, I actually totally sympathize with wanting validation from women and likes are obviously a signal of such and will make you feel good - but they're a very noisy and ultimately dissatisfying signal and most importantly will detract from you getting actual results in the real world, which is what you actually want and is good for you. ok back to drill sergeant mode)
basically the only dude on the forums who can get laid by going through likes instead of swiping on chicks is arcade_fireee. And that's for Hinge not Tinder, for all I know you need to be an actual celeb to go likes-only on Tinder. And he's only doing it this way because he literally doesn't have time to swipe - his results would still be way better if he did
apps are literally just a tool to get laid. it's all fake. the likes and matches and conversations are all meaningless. the point is to meet up with girls and fuck them. obviously girls liking and matching and texting you all do correlate to being attractive but if you wanna be seen as attractive then actually fucking girls will be way better for you on every level than sitting around waiting for likes to roll in
the whole concepts of "are my pics good enough", "is my profile good enough", etc., are all meaningless on their own. they only matter for getting laid. and the best way to measure if they are in fact good enough for getting laid is by trying to get laid
why would anyone ever tell you if your pics are good enough to get laid, if you aren't even taking the most basic steps to get laid, which is swiping? and if you actually were swiping - then why would anyone need to tell you? you'd know if you were getting laid.
really when people ask if their pics are enough, the steelman version of what they're communicating is
"are my pics the lowest hanging fruit to improve, or is it the amount of volume I'm putting in, or the texting, or how I act on dates, or my location, " etc
so heres what you need to do
1. commit to getting laid
2. visualize the end result of getting laid, and the steps it takes to get there, noting that you will face overwhelming rejection at every point in the funnel
3. execute the steps
realistically though whats happening if you aren't swiping is you're afraid of rejection / finding out that you aren't gonna get as much stuff for free as you assumed you would. basically that you have to put in work. which yeah it sucks and I've had to go through it a lot. and all I can say is it's way better to go through it earlier than later
