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My Journal To Beat AA and Achieve other goals

D4vidDG

D4vidDG

Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2021
Hello everyone, my name is David. I'm 21.

This journal will register my progress in each of the 4 goals I've described in my introductory post (https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=49&p=21777#p21777).

Every day I'll write what I've done to achieve my goals. My goals are pretty short-term but they will do for the next three months.

This is my current state in each goal:
- AA Program: Completed week 1. I got stuck in the first drill of week 2 and that put me off. I'm going to start again from day 6. Here's the previous journal I had on GLL site: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/beat-approach-anxiety/144745-update
-Tinder: I don't have matches on a daily basis. I'll follow the guide on this site to increase my numbers.
-Videogame: I'm finishing the previous game I was working on. I'll officially start on October 1st.
-Exercise: Not sure where I am. I need to weigh myself and start from that point.
 
So let's start this journal officially.

- AA Program: I went out for 1 hour and did the first two exercises. It's been a long time since I kind of quit so it's more difficult to approach.
-Tinder: I read the Tinder guideline here in KYIL. I wrote my purpose: To have 30 successful dates and then get laid 30 times.. It seems I'll need to lose some fat instead of bulking. I'll make a decision in the following days.
Also, for some reason, I've got like 10 matches out of the blue. I had to jump to the third part, but for the sake of getting dates.
I texted a cute girl. I've got her number and I'm waiting if she agrees to go out on a date. It's surprising how fast you can set up a date with a girl online, I thought it was a whole long process of earning her respect first.
-Videogame: Almost finishing, we'll be done in 1 or 2 days.
-Exercise: So my current weight is 61.5 kg. I'm gonna post some photos here so u guys tell me if I need to lose fat (probably I'll have to)
 
- AA Program: I felt like not going out. I forced myself to do so, but I did nothing, not even asking for numbers. These made me feel terrible, I don't know what's my problem. I beat myself up really badly, I need to work on my mentality. I guess I'll need to start from the very beginning, I don't know. I'll decide tomorrow before going out.
-Tinder: I'll be going out on a date with a girl on Friday. I read the guide further until fashion. I'm still figuring out the plan to lose fat.
-Videogame: I work on some issues and I can say we're done. I'll be coming out with ideas for the next game in the following days
-Exercise: I searched for some tips and tricks to lose fat. I'll be creating my plan tomorrow hopefully
 
I'm struggling to create discipline around working for my goals.

- AA Program: I decided I'll start again on day 4 beginning tomorrow.
-Tinder: The girl I was supposed to see today said she thought I wouldn't go out because I didn't message her the whole week. Kind of an excuse, but we rescheduled for Monday. Still figuring out how to lose weight,
-Videogame: We'll be brainstorming tomorrow
-Exercise: I took some photos to post here.
 
- AA Program: I asked 5 girls for the time. I could feel that social momentum again as I stopped thinking of worst-case scenarios when approaching, it was awesome
-Tinder: Got some more matches. I followed the game plan with all of them. I already have a plan to lose fat.
-Videogame: We decided to take this week to think of ideas and decide on all the mechanics. I'll be thinking on some ideas
-Exercise: I decided on my plan to lose fat. I'll track my calories every day this week.
 
- AA Program: I asked 5 girls for the time again. It was 45 minutes. Tomorrow I'll try to cut it down to 30 minutes, and then to 10 minutes.
-Tinder: The girl I had a date with delayed again to this Friday. I just told her to message me when she is free. Dunno if she's down to go out, but oh well, at least I tried.
-Videogame: I completed a game dev tutorial series that gave me a bunch of knowledge. Didn't think of any ideas.
-Exercise: Started my plan. I achieved a calorie deficit.
 
- AA Program: I asked 5 girls for the time again. It was 30 minutes. I had a pretty busy day so I wasn't able to do two in a row. Tomorrow I'll try to cut it down to 20 minutes, and then to 10 minutes.
-Tinder: Not that much, still working on my fat loss. Chat with two girls
-Videogame: Share one idea and read the other's one
-Exercise: I think I achieved a calorie deficit, but not sure. Today I work out legs, and man was I exhausted. I spend about 30 minutes losing time on the phone because it became more difficult to continue with the next set. I was already tired when hitting the first half of the training.
 
- AA Program: I asked 5 girls for the time again. It was 15 minutes the first time. Then I tried to do it in 10 minutes, but I failed with just 3 girls. I'm happy anyway, I think I'll go on with the program.

In one approach, the girl was really hot. I really wanted to ask for her number after the drill. However, I panicked in a matter of seconds and left after she gave me the time. That made me feel I needed a number today, so I walked another 30 minutes searching cute chicks but ended with nothing. Ironically, I met my mother and we started walking towards home. Shortly after that, a really hot girl appeared around the corner. I felt the urge to go but Idk, I didn't want to do it in front of my mom. I would have come across her if that hadn't happened. Bad luck I guess.

Finally, in my bedroom, I felt really impatient. I wanted to have success quickly and start getting laid. But oh well, I guess I should focus on AA first, as Chris says. Idk if I should go for getting a girl's number if I feel like doing so. Chris says it's not recommended. I would like to hear your opinions.

-Tinder: Got new matches on Badoo. I should mention that I have created an account on most of the apps Andy recommended. Badoo has been the most profitable by now.

Anyway, I feel I'm stuck in chatting with girls. I can't get them to set a date even if I follow the template. I'll try to focus on taking better photos these days to see if that improves something.

-Videogame: Share another idea. (We are in the idea phase if you didn't notice XD)
-Exercise: I achieved a calorie deficit, but struggled with hunger. I'll try to eat more salad to feel full more hours.
 
PLS READ NEED GUIDE

- AA Program and Tinder

Wow, guys, this has been literally the most unreal day of my life.
I still feel weird that everything lined up so fast.
I still have no words of what just happened today.


I'll go to the point. Yesterday I didn't post any progress cause I wasted the night watching The Office. I seriously need to organize my night schedule. It's very common that I'll stay late seeing stupid videos. This ruins the next day, which ruins the next day, and so on.

Anyway, today I schedule to see a girl at 2:00 pm. So there I was still seeing The Office when I decided I had to get my ass out of the bed and get ready, approximately at 1:00 pm.
The girl ended up rescheduling for 4:00 pm. I was already dressed so I thought I could use that time to do the drill of today.

Btw, I have to mention that yesterday I tried to do the drill in a mall near my university. However, I just walked around not doing anything. Then it started to rain pretty heavily, so got completely wet. it looked like I had just come out from a pool. In all my drama, I saw a cute girl.

As you might have seen, approaching girls is something really difficult for me. But Idk what happened, if it was the heavy rain (it had never rained like that in a long time), the fact that I was completely wet, or whatever. I just did it. I approached this cute girl and asked for her number. I got it. I was surprised this came out from me so naturally.

Back to today, apart from the drill, I did the same thing. I got 3 girls' numbers, which I asked after the questions. I just wanted to do it.
My mind was in a completely new state. Excuses almost disappear and my anxiety didn't disable me to approach.
I even dared to ask two girls that we're hanging out together their numbers at the same time.
As I say, I was really shocked. I couldn't believe that what I was doing was real. Something was born out of nowhere inside of me. I was so astonished that I even struggle to focus to complete the drill.

Here comes my first question: Should I keep trying to get numbers? Or should I focus only on completing the drills?

After these events, I went back home to rest a bit before the date, trying to absorb everything that happened.

It was 4:00 pm. She arrived 45 minutes late. I was angry but I decided not to take it further. After some coffee and conversation, we went to my place. And yep, we banged. She was a virgin.

And I have to say, I LOST MY VIRGINITY. WOW MAN LIKE WTF. The day was pretty regular (I'd say bad because of how it started), and then it becomes the day I lost my virginity. Something I thought was really really far away. I still can't believe this day is real.

Anyway, if I'm honest, I still don't know how to feel about today, I feel kind of proud, but I also feel so disconnected from reality. Like I'm high or smth. this is so unreal to me. Maybe I'm just feeling a mix of emotions and tomorrow I'll be more clear.

Also, something that has me thinking is that: I didn't feel any pleasure. Idk why man. I mean she was hot indeed. I thought that I'd cum in the first 30 seconds. But I didn't. Even though I lasted longer because of this, I didn't enjoy it. It felt like it was nothing. I hope you guys can give me some direction on this. I masturbated twice this week, on Tuesday and Wednesday, Maybe that's the reason. Are my expectations too high?. I'm not a porn addict btw, but from time to time I'll masturbate for one or two days.

I'm sure she enjoyed it, so I feel happy about that at least.
Things I excel at:
- I didn't wait to make my moves, and I was direct. I touched her, I kissed her, I asked her to come to my place.
- Foreplay. I think she really liked it.
- I tried to go slow and easy on her, she was a virgin after all.

Some mistakes I noticed:
- Regular post-sex conversation. I suddenly became shy. Maybe I was worried about my performance. I tried to ask her what she liked the most. She didn't want to answer, she said "everything". However, she showed me some phone pictures later, I noticed some confidence there.


Anyway, guys, I want to thank u and Andy for giving me this information that has allowed me to achieve something that seemed impossible. I know I should not stop here, there's still a lot to be done.

I'd love to hear ur feedback. I'm going to sleep for today.

































To sum up, I did 3 complete sets, I'll finish the rest tomorrow. What's interesting is that
 
D4vidDG big congrats dude

Yeah your first time isnt gonna feel that amazing imma be honest. It didnt for me either

It gets a lot better, especially when you find a girl to see regularly and you can explore more with
 
Congrats man!

I recommend making the virgin girl a regular. Even if it's just a fuckbuddy relationship you'll have more sex than a single guy. Also to relate to you not feeling good or happy, a connection helps a lot. Sex is just a physical manifestation of an emotional connection. Read "Sex God Method" if you haven't already and there's great pointers in there to drive up the emotional aspect, but basically just be real, vulnerable and honest while communicating with your partner.

Also your first time always sucks. It's really like your 500th time or 1000th time that leaves memory burn cause they're so good. My technically "first time" I put it in my girlfriend at the time and she screamed how it hurt and I took my dick out. Tried to cuddle her and she said she felt "cold." Broke up shortly after and didn't have sex for 3 almost 4 years before i found a virgin girl as inexperienced and as enthusiastic as me. Our first time had a similar struggle but she wanted it so much she worked past it. We dated for 3 years with lots of sex.
 
Thanks guys for ur feedback.

I'll highly appreciate if you could give me some tips on how to be a good fuckbuddy.

I changed my goals btw. I have some skin and sleep problems so I'll be working on those.

Anyway, here's my today's log:
- AA Program: Well, I didn't quite finish day 6 on friday, so I tried to do 3 sets more today. However, it was a holiday and there was almost no people outside. I'll repeat the entire day again because I didn't go out for two days.
- Tinder : I read chapter 3 of part 1 of the Tinder guide. I'm currently unable to buy expensive cameras, but I'll try to take nicer photos this week for my profile.
- Videogame: We locked in a game idea about a potions farming game. We are now supposed to propose some ideas for that game.
- Lose Fat Day Streak : 1
-Not picking skin Day Streak : 1
-Sleep Routine Day Streak : 1
 
- AA Program: I finished day 6. Moving on with day 7.

Do I have to "get in there" in every rep or just the first rep?


- Tinder : Nothing.

- Videogame: I proposed some concepts to make the game. Hope they like them.
- Lose Fat Day Streak : 2
-Not picking skin Day Streak : 0
-Sleep Routine Day Streak : 2
 
Hey guys, sorry for disappearing for two days. I decided to play a stupid video game and I wasted time.

- AA Program: I did 3 sets. The last one missed the last rep. I didn't feel I was giving my best, so tomorrow I'll try to do 4 or 5 sets more.

I decided I won't ask for numbers if I haven' finished the drill. That seems to just distract me from completing it.

- Tinder: I chose some of the photos in the Tinder guide to replicate. I'll ask a relative to come with me.

- Videogame: We had a meeting today. We have a clearer direction on what the game is going to be.

- Lose Fat Day Streak : 3
-Not picking skin Day Streak : 0
-Sleep Routine Day Streak : 0
 
- AA Program: I did 3 sets again. I'll move on with day 8.

- Tinder: I'll be taking the photos next weekend. This weekend I'll buy some Tinder boosts and read the 2 parts of the Tinder guide.

- Videogame: We'll start prototyping the idea tomorrow to see if the idea is fun enough..

- Lose Fat Day Streak : 0
-Not picking skin Day Streak : 0
-Sleep Routine Day Streak : 0
 
This is an entry for the last two days.

- AA Program: I did 3 more sets on Sunday. I decided to go on with day 8. Today I did one unfinished set and it started raining. I went back and focused on working on my tinder profile.

- Tinder: I'll be taking photos with the help of my cousin on the weekend. Meanwhile, I'll be looking for a borrowed DSLR camera before that day. I've already asked on a Facebook group. I'll also try to get some money out of an online course I made a while ago into my bank account. I'll use it to buy some Tinder boosts

- Videogame: We are going to create a prototype this week to test if the idea is fun enough. I've worked a bit on that today

- Lose Fat Day Streak : 1
-Not picking skin Day Streak : 0
-Sleep Routine Day Streak : 1
 
This is an entry for the last two days.

- AA Program: I did two unfinished sets. I'm struggling with doing the last rep with the 4 questions. Anyway, I'll repeat tomorrow.

- Tinder: Not that much.

- Videogame: Didn't work on it.

- Lose Fat Day Streak : 2
-Not picking skin Day Streak : 0
-Sleep Routine Day Streak : 3
 
Hey David, welcome to the forums, just stumbled across your post. I'm glad to have you along with us on our self improvement journey. Big congratulations on losing your virginity!

I can somewhat relate to your whole situation because I just recently finished the AA program up to day 46 and because I also have sleep and skin issues. What kind of skin issue do you have?

D4vidDG said:
Here comes my first question: Should I keep trying to get numbers? Or should I focus only on completing the drills?
Click to expand...

ABSOLUTELY NOT. You mention later that you stopped doing so because it is distracting. That is true but there is plenty more reasons. I encourage you to stick to every rule in the AA program.

D4vidDG said:
Also, something that has me thinking is that: I didn't feel any pleasure. Idk why man. I mean she was hot indeed. I thought that I'd cum in the first 30 seconds. But I didn't. Even though I lasted longer because of this, I didn't enjoy it. It felt like it was nothing. I hope you guys can give me some direction on this. I masturbated twice this week, on Tuesday and Wednesday, Maybe that's the reason. Are my expectations too high?. I'm not a porn addict btw, but from time to time I'll masturbate for one or two days.
Click to expand...

Don't worry about it that much. It feeling surreal/overwhelming is not super surprising because you applied many moves that you previously only read about so you were mentally somewhat detached from the experience. I do not think its related to masturbation. I consider masturbating without porn as natural and healthy as long as its not excessive.


D4vidDG said:
Some mistakes I noticed:
- Regular post-sex conversation. I suddenly became shy. Maybe I was worried about my performance. I tried to ask her what she liked the most. She didn't want to answer, she said "everything". However, she showed me some phone pictures later, I noticed some confidence there.
Click to expand...
It is natural to some degree to be vulnerable about ones performance on your first time. No need to be the big man always, not sure whether I would consider this a mistake. You especially shouldn't play the big strong man towards yourself, accept your vulnerabilities, don't ignore them.

D4vidDG said:
I'll highly appreciate if you could give me some tips on how to be a good fuckbuddy.
Click to expand...
Not sure if this is what you want to know, but this article details how you can keep a girl your fuckbuddy succesfully
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/retention-fuck-buddies

D4vidDG said:
Do I have to "get in there" in every rep or just the first rep?
Click to expand...
Just the first one. It is crucial to prevent the AA to build up in the beginning and get you stuck. Of course you are encouraged to get in with every girl, but if you don't with every single one that is not a failure. After all, you have AA and are chipping at it so it's just natural that fear will get the better of you every once in a while.

Also because you struggle with sleep, I recommend these two articles:
https://web.archive.org/web/20140209170502/http://www.boytoystory.com/the-power-of-a-stable-sleep-schedule/
https://web.archive.org/web/20140209171122/http://www.boytoystory.com/snooze-and-lose/

One last thing to think about: It seems you have a lot of goals, you might want to prioritize them and push some of them back for later. Otherwise you will be faced with failing at some of the goals constantly which is discouraging. Set goals that are attainable.
 
Hey Cain. It really means a lot that you took the time to read my entire log and respond to my questions. Thanks, man. I'll take all your tips into account.


CainGettingLaid said:
What kind of skin issue do you have?
Click to expand...

My skin constantly itches and it's super dry. I have some skin wounds because I used to scratch until my skin bled. Now I scratch less but the problem is still there. I try to take bird showers every day and moisturize shortly after. However, that hasn't solved the problem. I've been dealing with this for three months.

CainGettingLaid said:
One last thing to think about: It seems you have a lot of goals, you might want to prioritize them and push some of them back for later. Otherwise, you will be faced with failing at some of the goals constantly which is discouraging. Set goals that are attainable.
Click to expand...


Yeah man, maybe you are right. But as I see it, I think I need to work in every one of them.

Losing fat and having a better sleep routine it's something that doesn't take too much effort or time, it's just following a plan every day.

My most important goal is to beat AA. So, of course, I won't quit the AA program.

Both Andy and Chris encourage you to be active in online dating, so that's why I have a Tinder goal. Maybe I should not put too much effort into improving my looks or taking better photos. Maybe I should focus on completing the AA program first. Would love to know your opinion on that.

My skin goal is something I feel I can't put off because it'll just become worse with time.

And about my videogame, I believe it's my passion and I really want to pursue a career in this field. Every day counts for me in this matter. I will graduate soon from university, so I feel I need to hurry up and decide what I'm going to do (I'm studying mechatronics)

Anyway, sorry if I bore you with my drama hahaha
 
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