EliJeeli
Member
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2022
Hey guys, I (24) need advice on how to handle a girl that I've been talking to. I'm not sure on what to do next with her/how to proceed with her.
I met a girl (P), 24, high BF%, didn't pay attention to her before, as she isn't my type, but she kept trying to talk to me. She asked if we could be friends and I agreed. We talked for a month, and she became flirtatious, dropping hints, calling me handsome often, etc. Around that period, we became comfortable discussed our dating ventures/sex lives. After I told her about a successful date I had with (A), she told me she liked me and was jealous. The next day, she asked for a response and I said sure, thinking it was a good way for me to gain experience (I am unexperienced in relationships).
Time seems to move quicker for her, she's also very clingy/needy. We have been talking, going out, etc. I've also been helping her on a weight loss journey. We both live at our parent's houses, so we really can only have alone time in the car. She's made the first move for kissing, talks about wanting to jump my bones, wanting to be my girlfriend and getting sick of waiting (she thought letting me suck on her titties in public would get me to ask her to be mine), etc., after 2.5 weeks of talking. She voiced frustration with my lack of making the first moves, regarding kissing, using terms of endearment, calling and texting, etc. I initiate all of those now, but she's been the first to break those barriers. She always tells me how much she likes/loves me and is very affectionate, which has led to me becoming more affectionate as well.
Last night, we had an argument after I listed ways I show her that I cared, including the fact that I've spent quite a bit of money on her (based on my finances). I'm making 60k a year (graduated May 2022) and paying $1400 a month to Sallie Mae, so I'm strapped financially.
She's from Africa and used to dating older men that constantly give gifts, take her out, "just get her," never paying/splitting bills/offering any financial help, etc. She's frustrated that she's needed to be assertive-submissive because she's used to & wants to be passive-submissive. She also laughed when I revealed upon her asking that I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend after having a night out at her favorite restaurant and said she set the bar "in hell" for me and that I should end things with her (which she said she didn't really mean later on).
We've become exclusive recently, but I offered to remove that exclusivity label so she can explore her options, but she gave me a strong and emphatic "NO" multiple times. My goal was to have her be able to branch off from me to someone older and more financially stable that could meet her needs until I faded out of her life. In the meantime, I would go and explore my options with (A) and other girls that expressed interest in me, which she ascertained. She made a joke about wanting to have my kids in her mouth or womb soon after and we made up in the end and went back to normal, or at least, she did.
I've struggled to be dominant with her, with "just getting her" (in romantic ways BEFORE something goes wrong, as I can always tell what she's thinking as if she were a close friend or after she voices some frustration), etc. I also don't have my own place yet. I feel like because I'm young and don't have everything together yet, I can't match her expectations. That "bar in hell" comment is also weighing on me.
I've been reading the Rational Male recently and understand that I'm probably killing her desire, especially because she has to keep resulting to overt communication for what she wants. Should I stay in this relationship to practice becoming more assertive/dominant/gain relationship experience or end this? I'm also open to other suggestions. I've never been in an LTR, as I struggle forming meaningful relationships, so this seems like a good way to gain some experience with that.
I met a girl (P), 24, high BF%, didn't pay attention to her before, as she isn't my type, but she kept trying to talk to me. She asked if we could be friends and I agreed. We talked for a month, and she became flirtatious, dropping hints, calling me handsome often, etc. Around that period, we became comfortable discussed our dating ventures/sex lives. After I told her about a successful date I had with (A), she told me she liked me and was jealous. The next day, she asked for a response and I said sure, thinking it was a good way for me to gain experience (I am unexperienced in relationships).
Time seems to move quicker for her, she's also very clingy/needy. We have been talking, going out, etc. I've also been helping her on a weight loss journey. We both live at our parent's houses, so we really can only have alone time in the car. She's made the first move for kissing, talks about wanting to jump my bones, wanting to be my girlfriend and getting sick of waiting (she thought letting me suck on her titties in public would get me to ask her to be mine), etc., after 2.5 weeks of talking. She voiced frustration with my lack of making the first moves, regarding kissing, using terms of endearment, calling and texting, etc. I initiate all of those now, but she's been the first to break those barriers. She always tells me how much she likes/loves me and is very affectionate, which has led to me becoming more affectionate as well.
Last night, we had an argument after I listed ways I show her that I cared, including the fact that I've spent quite a bit of money on her (based on my finances). I'm making 60k a year (graduated May 2022) and paying $1400 a month to Sallie Mae, so I'm strapped financially.
She's from Africa and used to dating older men that constantly give gifts, take her out, "just get her," never paying/splitting bills/offering any financial help, etc. She's frustrated that she's needed to be assertive-submissive because she's used to & wants to be passive-submissive. She also laughed when I revealed upon her asking that I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend after having a night out at her favorite restaurant and said she set the bar "in hell" for me and that I should end things with her (which she said she didn't really mean later on).
We've become exclusive recently, but I offered to remove that exclusivity label so she can explore her options, but she gave me a strong and emphatic "NO" multiple times. My goal was to have her be able to branch off from me to someone older and more financially stable that could meet her needs until I faded out of her life. In the meantime, I would go and explore my options with (A) and other girls that expressed interest in me, which she ascertained. She made a joke about wanting to have my kids in her mouth or womb soon after and we made up in the end and went back to normal, or at least, she did.
I've struggled to be dominant with her, with "just getting her" (in romantic ways BEFORE something goes wrong, as I can always tell what she's thinking as if she were a close friend or after she voices some frustration), etc. I also don't have my own place yet. I feel like because I'm young and don't have everything together yet, I can't match her expectations. That "bar in hell" comment is also weighing on me.
I've been reading the Rational Male recently and understand that I'm probably killing her desire, especially because she has to keep resulting to overt communication for what she wants. Should I stay in this relationship to practice becoming more assertive/dominant/gain relationship experience or end this? I'm also open to other suggestions. I've never been in an LTR, as I struggle forming meaningful relationships, so this seems like a good way to gain some experience with that.
