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Ravi, Year 3: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth [DISCIPLINE]

I mean doing 1 hr of approach every day isnt exactly quitting dude. Online dating should eventually be fairly passive, except you have a lot of profile building still to go

You have so much in the way of gains you can make in dating dude, it sounds like you are starting to doubt whether success is worth it because you dont know what it actually looks or feels like. I can understand that but im incredibly disappointed to read this talk of 'closing the chapter' when you are just getting started in all honesty

It doesnt sound like the Mac that wrote the log up til this point
 
MakingAComeback said:
I'm closing this chapter now and putting it to bed. When it comes to women, I am not sure how I will make it work, if it ever happens, but in terms of life, I know I can do way, way better in life.
Click to expand...

Ok so 6 things:



#1 If you make that decision it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Mark my words.



#2 The process is mostly painful while you're building yourself up. So don't think of the pain as abnormal or a signal to quit.



#3 You need to give yourself a little bit of oxygen. Like don't make emotional decisions. Don't trust any of your decisions unless it comes from calm, collected, rational and informed place of mine.



#4 There's an industry around helping guys get more sex. If you believe the hype you'll be disillusioned. It's not easy to get to the place where you're 'doing well'



#5 ​Let's put this into perspective and accept the fact that if you quit this you'll quit everything. Quitting is a behaviour that perpetuates. So don't run to the escape of business cuz to me the idea of going into business instead is a flat out lie. And an emergency escape button you're brain is giving you so the pain stops.

It doesn't stop. It's part of the process. And guess what will be painful too... Business.



#6 The cavalry isn't coming. It's up to you make it and up to you alone. People will want to help you. But it's rare for someone to show up to your house randomly and encourage you. This isnt the movies.
 
Manganiello said:
if nothing happens I don't give a rats ass
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Yes you do. Whyd you start in the first place?

You're trying to shield yourself from the obligatory and painful process you have to go through.



This is all coming from a good place Mac. We want you to win.

Nobody wants to see you fail.
 
you’re frustrated dude and i get it.

not going to talk about cold approach in your shithole city or that you’re writing off women from one mediocre date. most of the thousands of approaches you’ve done were when you were fat with horrible style, but still it’s frustrating as hell and it’s fully within your right to vent in your log.

but i can’t leave what you said about OLD alone. you keep telling MattsCrib that he’s not taking himself seriously enough and proceed to do the exact same thing. your efforts in OLD have been fucking retarded and pathetic. i have said this 3 times already at least and you acknowledge it but it doesn’t seem to sink in. i’ll gladly say it a 4th.

OLD is. about. pictures. this man (you) does ONE (1!!!) mediocre photoshoot with a photographer 2x worse than the one who did Master’s and 10x worse than the portrait photographer who did Joe’s or Joe himself or any of the photographers I subcontract to. how the hell do you expect that to be enough? your best and only decent photo is you wearing a backpack like an overgrown university student in a t shirt.

i promise you even at your current weight i can get you a profile that results in multiple dates per month. please take yourself seriously and focus on the right variables. swiping and messaging with a shitty profile does absolutely nothing.

when i had my editor work on your pic a few months ago you told me my faith in you wasn’t in vain. i’m holding you to it
 
Firstly gentlemen, thank you for your posts, it’s greatly appreciated.

Alright man. This is complicated, you need more context. I am not going to make any defiitive decisions I will just think it over this weekend.

It was actually my friend who convinced me to go this route, we had a multiple hour discussion in the forrest, I also ran it by the guys in the group, and everyone was kind of agreed this is the best way for me to go. This includes Andy btw. I think how I phrased it in this log was a bit dramatic.

Quitting is not in my DNA trust me, lol. If he didn't totally convince me after many hours of talk, I wouldn't have even considered it.

I wanted to move to London next month and approach every single day. That’s what my people in London expected, and now I will have to tell them it ain’t happening.

I provided way more details on the private group, so yes I missed some important context.

I made a great new friend, a dude I really admire and want to emulate, and he has been so fucking helpful to me. He has kind of given me the blueprint he used to get where he is, I am thankful, but it will require SERIOUSLY HARD WORK. Like, realistically, it’ll be 80-100hrs a week from now on. And I have this guy checking in on me twice a day. I had to hustle to make this connection, work and risk that went in, but unlike with women, this actually paid off and we actually became bros.

So we talked, he said, dude, don’t move to London stay put save your money and spend it on Ads every month. He talked about a lot of stuff I’ll need to look into, and living in London just won’t be viable man.

There are many details I don’t put here, like the fact that I moved so much of my life around, put so much off, reduced my hours a tonne, did a while lot to accommodate being able to go really really hard into getting dates. I gave a concerted effort for many months and I did get 1 date yes from a approach 2 weeks ago, which was good. As nice as she is and believe me she was such a sweet lady, she didn’t say much at all. I personally am very expressive and I kinda want that energy. So I must tell the truth. I left thinking, man, that ain’t it. I’m a big boy and will keep going and try to get another girl to date me. But yeah, it was interesting.

In this process, I have lost a lot of weight, improved my mental state and self esteem a tonne, and lots of other positive things happened. I will be honest, when I began to feel way better about myself, I did begin to think, man I am pretty good as a guy, the fact women do not see this is totally on them. I am happy with who I am.

I am obviously not giving up, do you know me?!

But meeting my friend changed a lot.

It showed that a very successful dude who I’ve followed for years is someone who actually wants to know me, and he has done a lot for me and been so helpful.

With women, it’s not the case. Fighting tooth and nail for the attention of them was something I was willing to do for many more months, but right now, I am frankly thinking of just doing it as a daily process that takes up an hour, and just leave it at that.

Sometimes it’s crunch time and we have to sack up and do what it takes to be more and be better.

With very solid work ethic, it must be possible to improve dating outomes and work solidly. I am sure of it.

I understand I phrased that in a dramatic way, for that I am sorry, but I am just stuck with all this and it is definitely tricky.

Moving forward: I’ll still cold approach for 1hr a day, I will re-do my OLD in a month or two and try to get it really on point, and I will do whatever else I can possibly do. I am in the gym 4 x a week, I am losing weight, I am doing my best.

I won’t be in London, so yeah, the women here really are not my type (no offence to them) but the Uni students are back as it’s now term time so they will be about and they’re quite nice.

The mission must be to be greater than I currently am. It absolutely must be to transcend it all.

Just a whole lot to process man. I’m off to London shortly and will see how tonights date goes.

No definitive decisions have been made. I'll give it time and thought.

Keep hammering,
MAC
 
Rags2Bitches said:
you’re frustrated dude and i get it.

not going to talk about cold approach in your shithole city or that you’re writing off women from one mediocre date. most of the thousands of approaches you’ve done were when you were fat with horrible style, but still it’s frustrating as hell and it’s fully within your right to vent in your log.

but i can’t leave what you said about OLD alone. you keep telling @MattsCrib that he’s not taking himself seriously enough and proceed to do the exact same thing. your efforts in OLD have been fucking retarded and pathetic. i have said this 3 times already at least and you acknowledge it but it doesn’t seem to sink in. i’ll gladly say it a 4th.

OLD is. about. pictures. this man (you) does ONE (1!!!) mediocre photoshoot with a photographer 2x worse than the one who did Master’s and 10x worse than the portrait photographer who did Joe’s or Joe himself or any of the photographers I subcontract to. how the hell do you expect that to be enough? your best and only decent photo is you wearing a backpack like an overgrown university student in a t shirt.

i promise you even at your current weight i can get you a profile that results in multiple dates per month. please take yourself seriously and focus on the right variables. swiping and messaging with a shitty profile does absolutely nothing.

when i had my editor work on your pic a few months ago you told me my faith in you wasn’t in vain. i’m holding you to it
Click to expand...

Thanks bro I hear you but I actually did 3 shoots, albeit with the same photographer so I guess we can just say that blends into 1 lol. I did drop 10lbs between the first two shoots and the 3rd, and have dropped a further 16lbs since. However I definitely listened to what you said and I have actually taken what you said seriously, I am working on the actions you gave: I am dropping weight and booking further shoots. I am working hard in the gym, dieting and getting to 200lbs (not long left now man) so I can actually book shoots with a solid photographer and try this over again.

Just want to emphasise that I took your advice dead ass serious and I am doing everything I can to make it happen man. My memory is pretty solid, your exact words were 'diet down ti abs and slowly build back up again', and then I think you said I should take pics when I was lean enough for abs or in that zone - I went ahead and mentally said I'll do them at 200lbs as I'll need to be 185 to be shredded (6 ft 5 and I do have a bit of muscle). The scale was 214lbs today man, that ain't far now, I was 232lbs in the previous pics.

I totally hear you and I am on the exact pathway you outlined here bro trust me.

MAC
 
Wasn't gonna share it since I'm not sure if it will resonate with you or bounce right off, but here's the GLL post that inspired Andy to get really serious:

https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/lay-reports/139680-andy-s-log-how-to-make-friends-2021-edition?start=684#299210

It's about cold approaching, but the principles apply.
 
'afraid that one doesn't work my dude, error 401 - in effect, Crisis' own hyperlinks have GHOSTED
 
I definitely communicated that wrong, think I got you guys twisted, I thought shit how come these guys are giving me hard talk when no one on the group did shit Andy agreed with my plan too.

I am leaving the FOCUSING on women phase was what I said.

As in, I fucking stopped my career, turned down promotions, reduced my hours by more than half, and went all the way in to trying to improve my outcomes with women. Yes I got me 1 date and I was stoked but now other avenues are opening, I am going to hammer them and put FOCUS on then, and just approach women for 1 hour (as opposed to 8-9hrs a day which is what I was doing in London).

I do apologise for writing that post like a twat I was tired from working my butt off as per and then had a great nights sleep woke up ready to fucking kill as usual.

MAC
 
Crisis_Overcomer said:
Think you need to sign up since its in the hidden area of the Forum.

Anyway, here it is Screenshot_4.png
Click to expand...

Oh ok g. Ah fuck Crisis that post is great but I don't even know what to do man.

I honestly don't know.

I have to jump all in with biz right now, I have a great dude helping me, I cant live with myself if I don't go all in right now.

But I also really want a wife and children.

I don't even know man.

Just gonna take this weekend to THINK

MAC
 
Yeah it was a little confusing

'Im closing the chapter on women' but 'Im gonna approach 1 hr a day'

I am concerned you are drawing too many conclusions from one date-a point (see what I did there)

Dating isnt just a numbers game from approaching perspective, its numbers from a going on dates perspective as well.

Unless you are stupidly lucky you wont be meeting your wife without going on some shit dates that make you wonder wtf the point is
 
Totally understand and it's my fault for communicating that in a totally fucked up way. I genuinely agree with what you're all saying here.

I am asking Andy to weigh in on this on the coaching group.

The mission will be, can MAC work 80-100hrs a week and make incremental progress on dating?

People have done this man. I knew a guy at Uni who was in Medical school and training for the fucking Olympics, homie was from Korea and he had a work ethic to the fucking bone, loved him man he inspires me to this day.

Just gotta breath man, I will figure this shit out.

Shit, if I ground it out for a few months here, got my brand to where I am at least making something, I could move then and will have built skillset and momentum. I can still go to London Sat and Sun, in fact on Sat I can approach ALL day and take the day off to that alone, and on Sunday, I can approach and also work.

I am willing to do absolutely anything to succeed in life and you guys know that but I am not willing to miss opportunities and not do what it takes to truly level this life up.

Somehow I will make this work...

MAC
 
Crisis_Overcomer said:
Think you need to sign up since its in the hidden area of the Forum.

Anyway, here it is Screenshot_4.png
Click to expand...

If anyone lurking hasnt seen this before, this is the post that made KillYourInnerLoser go all in

The site you're are on might not be here but for this
 
Ugh, so regarding tonight's date, she just texted me saying let's postpone until next week. The day of, 2hrs before I am getting the train, and have already paid for the hotel on the other side.

---

I do not know man............

I am still going to go to London and just get some head space. Just feeling lost and this weekend I am just going to work hard, will do an hour of approaching in London, and then get my shit together.

Is what it is.

MAC
 
OK boys so I spoke to Andy and guys from private coaching, it's all good. However, this weekend I will recharge and just work on biz.

I cancelled my train to London, got a refund, and then requested cancellation of the hotel but it's a no refund policy so doubt that will work. It's OK, I'll take the hit.

Right now, I am just going to work my butt off and then sit in nature for a few hours and get deep clarity.

I do feel good and strong, I have not lost heart, I am going to keep pushing, but I just need to figure things out.

People tell me I am doing the right things and just need to continue so I do appreciate this. I will keep going OK.

I'm signing out for this weekend and just gonna hustle my face off and get shit done.

Will be back Monday and ready to attack.

Keep hammering,
MAC
 
Just my two cents:

I can completely understand moving approaching/dating to the back burner when you have other stuff you're working on that's currently a higher priority, but it sounds like you're abandoning it. What happened to your plan to move to London? I know what it's like to live in a city with shitty volume too, that's one of the reasons why I'm focusing so hard on school and work so that I have a chance to land a job that pays well in a larger city.

Why did you let one person convince you to abandon your goal and not move to London? Btw, the whole point of moving to a bigger city is so you don't have to waste so much time on approaching. That way you can work on business and approach efficiently, more approaches per hour. An hour a day in a small town is almost useless in building your skills.

You had one bad date and you've completely flipped your priorities around. That's fine if that's what you really want. But if you run into problems in business or find it "disappointing", will you just quit on that too? Earlier in your log, you literally wrote paragraph after paragraph basically bragging about how unstoppable you are and how great your work ethic is, so I have to say that this is sad to see...
 
So is there a plan to go ALL IN with women in the future? If so when?

I'm not sure if you mentioned that.
 
And the thing about it, is as usual, you mother fuckers are absolutely 110% correct.

Yes, I freaked out. The convo I had with my friend was quite deep and his stance on London was that it'd be twice what I pay here, and that will make it hard AF to move forward in life. It really bothered me because I had my heart set on going there and giving approach everything.

And yeah, it was something I pinned my hopes on, so and and so forth. Emotional pain out the ass. I poured it out here, because I know it helps me. I also know how to bring my head back, I did what I needed to do, and now my head is clear again.

Now I'm not freaking out. Did you really think I would be able to live with myself if I wasn't going balls out to achieve my goals? Maybe you'll need to keep reading my log for the years to come, but I am a stuborn and determined cunt and even when I am freaking out like a mofo, I find a way to move forward.

And that is what happened today.

I am looking at places in London which are absolutely ideal for cold approach, where I can do it every damn day without fail, and I will do a reduced remote working contract (3hrs a day) while I am there and will build this biz. Yes, I am going all the way in, balls deep, and I will work my absolute face off, but mercifully will be in a situation where I can easily fucking approach without getting on the train for 2hrs each way.

I am going to find a property, make a commitment, and from there, there will be absolutely no going back. I will be there, and we will have to make this work.

Your boy is an intense individual because you have no idea how badly I want to succeed in life. I have this vision in my head and I need it so so bad. You don't understand. I can't even live if I can't become the man I want to be. Yes I was pissed off when my friend told me I won't be able to live in London and because I respect him a lot, I really had to swallow a bitter pill. But that bitter pill was spat back up because there is something else about me you may not like and that is I do have an internal drive that I can't even shake if I wanted to. It's why I can't ever take a day off even if I'm sick, it's why I can't give up no matter the odds. I don't know why I have this, but I do. The fire in my heart that doesn't let me quit no matter how bad and I went for a 2hr walk and it was just blasting me the whole time.

"Your whining again motherfucker, and you're just making yourself look dumb, because you will be out there grinding by the end of the day"

Same as it always was.

Something in me just tells me, dude, you are not being all you can be. Shit haunts me when and it will not allow me to be comfortable taking the easy road.

So be it. It won't give me a seconds peace if I stay in this city. I will go to London, I will find a great gal. I will have to work my fucking dick off to make this work, but the fire inside will not allow me to do anything else.

Again, sorry I made you bros feel some type of way. You are talking to a guy who really, really, really wants this and the emotions that can bring up are quite disturbing. It wouldn't be my log if there wasn't ups and downs, it wouldn't be me if there were not glorious sunsets and stormy seas. This will not be the first time you are disappointed. Many more days like that are to come. But I can tell you something: I am willing to fail over and over and over again, until I succeed.

By the end of the week, I will find a property.

By the end of the week, I will have arranged a remote working contract.

By the end of the week, I will have a battle plan and daily structure to execute relentlessly, to find a great girl, to build my biz, and to ultimately step into the life I want to live.

It's here warts and all, brothers. It's me, flawed as a human like everyone else, but my heart is in the right place and all I want to do really is just be a man I can look at in the mirror with pride.

The real war is about to begin brothers.

And I am willing to bet the house on myself. This is just getting started.

Love and respect to all of you, until victory, we grind.

MAC
 
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