#RoadToHotGuy volume 2

[InsaneAndHappyWithIt]

Hello,

Don't know where to start. Maybe let's start with the fact that I have the ability to catch girls. I've done this before, for better or worse, and while I am currently involuntarily celibate, once I get back into sex, I used to be good and fun about it, also done some basic BDSM before (I like to hit and "trash" women).

But, right now, I am completely lost and unfocused. Oh and I'm 27. Very soon 28.

I just recently moved, a month ago, to the city and started a new job. City is about 2 million pop metro area. I live in Poland. I have some debt and this is no 1st world country, please don't tell me to buy a 1000€ worth of clothes or shit like this.

I desire action and results. I am sick of talking, I am sick of friends, I want action, I want women, I want to feel good again. I am perpetually very angry, or hopeless, or crying, out of lack of action and often being tired due to health problems. But many of these problems are depression.

I go to the gym. I am an inactive musician and DJ.

Don't give me the go to therapy first bullshit. Okay, so I go to therapy. I visit the lady once a week for almost an hour. What about the rest of life? That's my point. I don't have patience for this.

Help me with ideas on how to try to get girls on multiple fronts. Here are some of mine.

1) Tinder and online dating. This is shit. I'm going to link photos I have that, for some reason, have achieved 3 likes in a week, despite that the more or less same set of photos almost 2 years ago had almost two dozens.

These are my pictures (also at the very end of this post):

https://imgur.com/a/IFjFARo

I'm thinking of adding a picture with a kitten, or a cat. Which one would be better, cat or kitten? inb4 dog, I deeply dislike dogs, no thank you.

2) Going to salsa/bachata lessons. I've heard lots of girls go there and the vibe is more open and sexual than in regular dancing events. I am a naturally intuitive dancer (I dance to psychedelic trance religiously and show off). Is this good idea, should I look for lessons first, then go to latino clubs? Or just go straight to such clubs (saw one while passing back from work today)? The first 8 lessons I saw on some site are unfortunately during my work hours, but if it were the primary idea, that'd work.

3) Fetlife. I have no idea how to go about this. I also thought maybe include some light bondage with ropes in the pictures like Andy does? And also use those kind of pictures for 1) online dating / Tinder as well?
I've heard with Fetlife you have to sort through profiles for months and it's long work, but I've also heard about some get-to-know-each-other events that are hosted in my city. So thinking of going to one of these. To be honest, I'm not very kinky in the fetlife way, I just like to trash women with dirt, hit them, maybe tie them up and that's it. I don't consider this very kinky, do I even fit those events? I don't really care as long as I can meet some like minded girls for having fun together.

And that's it. I'm too angry to go and just talk with people, I am in a misanthrope stage somewhat right now. But I still like doing things: dancing, making music, making out (I wish) and shit like this.

Please help me out. I need action. Every minute of inaction fuels thinking of my ex, of whom despite 3 years I don't feel over. What I do know is that if I start actually living, I'll forget her like I should.

I know this post seems very negative, but ambition and often anger are lately my main fuel for drive.

I also added a picture of my current physique at the end (the mirror photo)

 

[InsaneAndHappyWithIt]

I think this is interesting, but still way fucking long, so TL;DR: how can I improve my Tinder/Bumble profile? I'm looking for 1-2 sexual relationships, or a single multiple long term relationship where I meet girl once per week and she accepts that I have other girl from a completely different town. I would also love fucking girls right away without much of a date, as stated in Andy's 'Different Dating Gameplans'. It would mean world to me, it's my dream to be able to have sex that quickly. This is my profile:

https://tinder.com/@boguszprofet

Hey guys, some time passed. Here's a summary.

I wanted to
1) start living on my own by myself (no flatmates), living alone is my dream since being a teen, but i could never afford it!!!, and
2) support myself with just my job.
3) my job be work from home
4) work on my music consistently.
5) work on my body consistently
6) wean off drugs and start attending therapy - i'm physically addicted atm but functional. You would not tell I'm addicted
7) have decent, stable, exciting love life

Here are results of a year of work:
1) I moved to a city in September 2022. Lived with 2 flatmates. Couple months ago we all got evicted. I moved to a good studio apartment I'm happy of
2) I can support this apartment no problem. I'm very proud of this. I worked years to get to this stage.
3) initially work from office, a couple days ago I've got a paper to sign that I can work from home now. Fucking A.
4) I was just beginning to relax in the previous apartment ( i need to feel safe , alone, non-depressed and focused to be able to work on music) and getting momentum with working on my music, and then we got evicted. So last couple months I wasnt working on my music almost at all. Very sad about this.

This is my life dream for which I have some very good ideas to realize, ideas that go beyond, that cant be replaced by AI. But ideas that need consistent work, some money, and a medium amount of time (i.e. I'd prefer to work half-time, not full-time). Ideas that unfortunately take time before they can become profitable, but maybe somewhere in the process I can do some similar stuff - sound design, voiceovers, music for short films or trailers, that could be profitable. I dont care about making bank, I just want to live off sound at this point.

5) very inconsistent since I Was kicked out of prev apartment. thus not good for my mental health and physical health. Over past few weeks I worked out maybe a few times. I take notes on the wall as to how many times I do/dont things. I am working mainly on my chest because it's lagging, rest of body i just maintain. My workout plan & diet plan work very well and dont need change, but I am having real trouble with motivation atm. The only gym nearby is very shit, so I want to change my gym to the one that is near my workplace and can be accessed 24/7 (I work night shifts at AT&T ), and just go before/after work, which IME is much easier for me to actually do

6) was not addicted physically a year ago. Was searching for various therapies and was just being sent off to another place and another, really disrespectful and bad behaviour from those therapists and therapy centers. During this time i got addicted to opiates. Found a detox place recently, and I'm going to go there in a week or so, for 2 weeks. Then go back to work and my place, and find a stationary therapy center nearby, Ive got one in mind.

7) inconsistent... about 9 months ago I restarted relationship with one of my ex girlfriends (my only source of sex atm). She is not seeking a full-on relationship and is happy to meet me once per 2 weeks, we support each other and care for each other, but she knows I am not looking for a "typical" relationship either and that what we're doing is sort of maximum of what we can do. She has been very helpful to me, she takes care of me sexually too, although once per 2 weeks is not often enough, and while I like sex with her on its own terms, she does not have this kind of desire/enthusiasm to be absolutely trashed/destroyed in bed (which I need to be consistently satisfied), and she holds off/"blocks" feelings and enthusiasm because she doesnt want to be hurt again (by the fact that we will not be together).

So all this makes sex somewhat lacking. Which made itself very evident and clear once I fucked my flatmate from previous flat a couple weeks ago, who showed so much enthusiasm and was so into being treated like dirt that I felt very satisfied with the sex for the firts time in sooo many months, I forgot I could feel this way and experience those things because I was having sex only with my exGF who cannot ignite those feelings anymore for me. But it is uncertain and somewhat unlikely that my ex flatmate, who I desire and I enjoy her company a lot, will be coming over to have some sort of relationship with me, because she just lost her boyfriend (he died). It's uncertain what she'll do with her life ATM, although I'd love to help her and grow together.

SO I decided to take matters in my own hands a couple months ago when I realized that I constantly feel lonely every weekend that I'm not meeting with my ex-GF, and that I need sex more often than this... And I took my photographer lady friend and gave her money to take my pictures for Online Dating . She did and this is my profile on Tinder now:

https://tinder.com/@boguszprofet

I have my profiles for Bumble and Badoo set up very alike. I seem to get better results on Bumble, the ladies when they write are more engaged and don't immediately lose interest if I go to work and don't respond the whole evening. I made those profiles a week ago and was gonna have a date with Bumble girl today, right about now, but she had smth come up with family and asked to reschedule. Bummer.

BUt generally, I get some matches, right now I have 11 matches on Tinder and 7 likes, and 5 matches on Bumble and 13 likes. If I were to buy "gold", i think i'd do so on Bumble, becasue with my mediocre results I'd rather engage with girls on Bumble coz they're more into me and more interested in actually meeting up. I don't get many matches but I'm doing ANY good atm , whereas previously with photos in Original Post i would not get any results at all.

I think I do fine with conversations on those APPs when I get a girl who can also converse, but if I get a moderately interested girl, I should be following a script for conversation then, but I don't have it yet. I want to create a script where points of conversation are based off Andy's steps of convo, but the text game itself I want to draw more from Playing With Fire coz Andy's text game isn't good.

So my goal now that I should do: improve my text game by creating a script of conversation using Playing With Fire's Alex's tips, but create my own texts and ideas. Then save that script to my phone so I can use it when needed.

Another thing about me is that I am good in sex, compared to average of men. This was confirmed by every girl I was with. I also do basic BDSM and bondage. But I have no idea how to "sell" this in my profile or conversations to attract girls. So basically I have value, but I don't know how to market it or deliver it. Outside, I'm a normal guy, somewhat feminine sometimes even, cute and crazy, no tatoos, but I do have masculine presence imo. I just don't scream "hardcore BDSM bondage sex", which is what i need (the BDSM sex, not the screaming)

Guys, how I can improve my profile now, and OLD experience? What am I looking for from OLD is a 1-time per week relationship, and putting off "moving in together" and other relationship BS i'm not interested in, for as long as possible. So I'm already getting much lower results because of that, many girls will not accept me meeting with my ex-GF ( i dont need to tell her who she is, just "a girl"). But I'm looking for one that won't mind. Or even more preferably, if I could have 2 extra girls that would enjoy just having sex with me, no classic relationship whatsoever. That'd be great. I could finally put my sex skills to use.

ok this is already waaaaaay too fucking long

 

[Mindset]

Hey dude, welcome back.

I like the improvement of your tinder profile!
It's (imo) a vast improvement to your previous version.

I think Andy's current profile may be of help.
If you haven't yet take a look at / THE BIBLE.

And you're right your first post did seem kind of impatient and whiny, the second one less so but if I were you I would put more into improving your pictures, physique and THE BIBLE has some examples of how to show girls you're sexual (note: translate it to your own language)

P.S. Keep posting and other members will respond more!

 

[bonzo34]

haha the bible

 

[InsaneAndHappyWithIt]

TL;DR IS SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

Hey dude, welcome back.

I like the improvement of your tinder profile!
It's (imo) a vast improvement to your previous version.

I think Andy's current profile may be of help.
If you haven't yet take a look at / THE BIBLE.

And you're right your first post did seem kind of impatient and whiny, the second one less so but if I were you I would put more into improving your pictures, physique and THE BIBLE has some examples of how to show girls you're sexual (note: translate it to your own language)

P.S. Keep posting and other members will respond more!

Hey thank you for reply! Honestly I did not expect anyone to reply ... I added a couple BDSM pictures to my profile - there's the picture of my friend I'm currently meeting, on the ground with a leash I hold I created with bondage , and a picture I found on the Internet and edited myself:
https://tinder.com/@boguszprofet

bio translation: "Pulling girls hair used to be out of tact, now it's a well welcomed fact" and "I like cooking, singing and kittens"

Right now I dunno how those direct pictures will affect my likes, but I'll keep trying opening with "*some compliment, comment on her profile/pictures* + hi + I'm looking for something unusual here"

I am from Poland, maybe someone from there can chime in coz I wonder maybe because the culture here is a more conservative than it is on the West, Maybe i'm not doing this right... I find it a little frustrating that even a girl who openly states she's looking for open relationship/polyamory in her bio, both of which I literally have experience and wisdom on, won't bother to reply to me opening
But going back to action, if not for BIBLE, I wouldn't be here! nor with the newest profile, I asked my lady friend to read parts of BIBLE that related to taking pictures and the VIBE to get across.

What do you think I get wrong in my pictures, or what I could do better?

As for physique, my plan is that in ~5 months time I should have ideal physique: 3 months for filling in the gaps/weak spots like my chest, and 2 months for cutting to the point where my bodyfat is in a good spot and so will my physique. What do you think? I weigh 85kg at the moment. I think I can get to 90-92kg, cut, I should end up around 80-83kg, and then I can think of a varied photoshoot that would show off my physique.

I have a question tthough - am I wrong to think that, compared to an average guy on Tinder, I have good looking physique, in the eyes of a woman? I'm not speaking of guy standards, coz we all know I'm too small and too fat lol. But I heard so many times from girls that my physique is good. Obviously, good is not good enough if u want extraordinary results, but am I wrong to think that my physique is giving me a very slight edge? EDIT neverfuking mind, i look like shit, i hate myself. noone wants this

TL;DR I updated the Tinder profile to be more sexual and direct as per Andy's current profile and the BIBLE examples, but I wonder what I can do better and whether I am maybe shooting myself in the knee because my country Poland is more conservative than Australia Andy lives in? (I used to write "hey sexy" as opener and it was the absolute worst opener. Not a single positive response. It's really bad where I live for me, sorry). I lIve in Katowice, Metro area about 2 million people. I added Below a few silly gym photos from my photoshoot with me wearing the wings

extra fun news dunno if i mentioned but i convinced my lady friend (lets call her Lilith from now on) to try and find a 3rd person (girl) for a (1st time in my life) threesome!! We gonna make an online profile of both of us and search there for a single-time event person because Lilith is more comfortable with a person from outside of our lives.
Second fun news is that me and Lilith are gonna buy a bunch of sex toys and accessories to play with. She already has a vibrator (that I also had her use on me... prob not a thing u wanted to read but her, Im very open and will likely have bisexual sex in the future too), and I was a lil jealous, so I'm buying a vibrating cock ring with a clitoris vibrating extension, and 2 sets of sexy lingerie for her, an oral spray for mouth-watering salivation, a ball gag, a set of sexy blindfold + a penis pump . I wanted to also buy a Penguin no-touch Air-sucking Clitoris stimulator, but that's like too many things at once lol I don't wanna spend that much money. We're super excited to try all those things and it makes me kinda sad that I can't meet her more often and enjoy making her my sex toy, with all this equipment ready.

It does increase my feelings of insecurity, I probably feel that coz I "Invest" into her, but she can drop me anyway.. I have this fear that she's gonna monkey branch once she feels more confident, probably when she loses weight (she used to be thin and very sexy so before she went in a relationship with me years ago, she isn't nearly fat or anything, but she is a little overweight, not in a way that would make her unattractive to me, but 3-4 more kilograms and I'd find it a big issue then), and doesn't need me anymore as a lover, which would also be ironic coz I am the person who is supporting her in losing her weight in a multitude of ways.

I really want to keep those posts shorter for u, if U have ideas on how I could make your reading experience better let me know.

 

[Mindset]

ey thank you for reply! Honestly I did not expect anyone to reply ... I added a couple BDSM pictures to my profile - there's the picture of my friend I'm currently meeting, on the ground with a leash I hold I created with bondage , and a picture I found on the Internet and edited myself:

I don't see it in your profile anymore, did you delete it?

As for physique, my plan is that in ~5 months time I should have ideal physique: 3 months for filling in the gaps/weak spots like my chest, and 2 months for cutting to the point where my bodyfat is in a good spot and so will my physique. What do you think? I weigh 85kg at the moment. I think I can get to 90-92kg, cut, I should end up around 80-83kg, and then I can think of a varied photoshoot that would show off my physique.

Seems like a solid plan, as you are now I don't think you're lean/built with muscle enough to have a shirtless pic on there.

A suggestion, I would try replacing your first photo with your last picture where you're walking as I think that's a pretty solid picture.
Your current first picture seems a bit..feminine. Also I don't know two things.
- What are you looking for? (casual sex partners I presume)
- What are the polish girls you want to date like? (do they like masculine men, fashionable men et cetera)

I would try my suggestion, count the amount of matches/likes you get in a week (don't forget to use a boost!) and see if it has increased in quality/quantity.
Then try another improvement and keep tugging week by week.