Screening for DTF-ness in a socially acceptable way

[JamalHash123]

Hey guys. Would appreciate your advice on how to screen for DTFness on Tinder/online dating in a socially acceptable way.

Previously, my Tinder conversations went as follows:
Me: "Hey"
Girl: "hey!"
Me: "Are you a good little spoon?"
Girl: "LOL yeah"/[ignores me]
Me: "What's your number?"
Girl: [Gives numbers]/[Ignores me]

The "Are you a good little spoon?" line is super efficient because it means that most girls that end up giving me their number and who end up meeting up with me are DTF. I was laying like 80% of girls (maybe around 70-80 girls total) who went out on dates with me when I used "Are you a good little spoon?". When I was in college, I'd heard that some friends of friends heard about my "Are you a good little spoon?" line and they thought it was weird/creepy/too aggressive (it was usually the prude girls/guys). But the more sexually active girls "got it" and understood that I was screening for DTF'ness.

But then, I started working in a pretty small industry - banking. The thing is, my city is big, but everyone knows everyone, and so I knew that there was a big risk that I would message "Are you a good little spoon?" to a girl who knew someone in my office, and they would send screenshots to my colleagues/bosses...and that would look bad. I got really spooked out after the Chris D'elia stuff. I've had male friends labelled "creeps" for sending girls "hey wanna come over?". I really need to protect my reputation, especially in corona times when anyone's at risk of getting fired.

So I switched to this:
Me: "Hey"
Girl: "hey!"
Me: "Whatcha doing?"
Girl: [blah blah blah]
Me: "What's your number?"
Girl: [Gives numbers]/[Ignores me]

Now, the thing I was trying to get at with "Whatcha doing" is that it's such an impersonal line that I don't really want to give the impression that I want to do anything other than hook up. I want to intentionally show that I'm not putting forth any effort, so that girls who want a relationship ignore me, and so that girls who want an impersonal douche for a hookup stick around.

But with "whatcha doing?", I only lay around 35% of the girls that go out on a date with me (so a lot of the girls weren't DTF). Plus, I feel like girls are actually less likely to give their number/respond when I say "whatcha doing?".

I have a lot of matches so I don't really have time to craft a personalized message for each girl. Plus, I want to save time, to make sure that every date converts into a bang, cuz I just want hookups.

What's a good line that screens for whether a girl is DTF, but which wouldn't make me look creepy/too aggressive if my colleagues/bosses ever saw screenshots?

I know this isn't really congruent with "do whatever it takes to reach your goals", but I also think that sometimes you have to balance your goals, if you can get 80% of the results while not getting fired, lol.

My lay count is around 95 from online dating so my in-person game isn't the problem.

Thanks in advance guys.

 

[DNPTHC]

Imo your profile should just screen them out....

I’ve never really had to do these lines... I just say Whatsup sexy and then get their number in 3-4 messages.

If your profile is set up correctly the girl knows the deal from the get go imo.

My “dates”have literally always been at my or their place, in my car or secluded park lol.

 

[DNPTHC]

JamalHash123
I mean you’d have to post pictures of you and your tinder profile for us to get a better idea.

I’ve never had to use lines to screen them. My profile just automatically does that.

 

[JamalHash123]

Thanks DNPTHC. Love your style by the way, no homeowner, muscles+tattoos+bald look really works for you.

I'm really not comfortable posting my pics here (same reason as in OP, extremely concerned about my reputation especially because I'm in a very volatile industry), but you might be right in that my pics aren't edgy enough. I have a fantastic smile and I look like a good boyfriend (because my vibe is very happy), but objectively, I don't have enough edge in my pictures.

 

[DNPTHC]

JamalHash123

Fair enough. And thanks. My look just naturally kinda screens girls out.

You might not look edgy enough in your photos.

You seem to have a chado like look to you. Lean muscular good looking.

Hmm yeah I get not wanting to post pictures of yourself.

My advice would be to mabye send them to someone on the forum you would mabye trust.

Curious on your career tbh.

 

[Radical]

If you want you can just avoid screening them on tinder and do it on the dates man

You'll get fecked around more potentially but it's only one date at most

I dont think you should be so hesitant about using Andy's basic line though. Calling someone sexy is hardly gonna ruin your reputation

I dont understand the whole big city but everyone knows everyone bit?

If you were in London for instance it's so easy to debt several degrees of separation from your circle. Maybe move our of your city to an even bigger one if this is holding you back. Banking at least gives you an in to every major city

 

[DNPTHC]

Radical

I’m curious if his career puts him in the public eye.

 

[JamalHash123]

Thanks both for your comments.

My career isn't public-public (I'm not a celebrity), but I can easily be searched for on LinkedIn or on my company's website (my photos along with deals I've done with my team etc). I'm in finance which is, as you know, like 10% based on results and 90% based on politics/relationships so I really gotta guard my reputation with my life.

i've had wayyy too many instances of friends telling me "Hey you fucked my friend" or "Hey you tried to fuck my friend, I heard you asked her if she was a good little spoon?" LOL. And there's no way to tell who knows who on Tinder, y'know

 

[JamalHash123]

...I dont think you should be so hesitant about using Andy's basic line though. Calling someone sexy is hardly gonna ruin your reputation...

Yeah thanks. I quite like Andy's basic line. I'll try that.

 

[Radical]

When I worked in finance playing around was seen as a good thing lol

You should build reputation independent income on the side

 

[Wifty]

Some people already think you are a creep no matter what you do.

The more edgy/polarizing/true and congruent with yourself are, the more people will label you as a creep.
It's a fact you have to accept, especially if you want to get laid a lot.


You need to check your priorities and What's more important to you.
Playing it safe, not Being labelled a creep (whilst you already are) and land a few girls OR land many many girls regularly, screening assertively and Being labelled a creep (already the case)?


In both ways people think you are a creep, to different degrees.

Then why would you Block yourself from getting the most of it ?

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

What you're asking for (screening without looking like a creep) is impossible. Reason being you cant control another person's perception of you.

When I cold approached, I used the same line. Some girls were excited, others looked me like I was a rapist. Same line, different people, different reactions.

 

[l0vebone]

This is why bar/club lays are unmatched imo. Way quicker too. Everyone knows why everyone else is there.

 

[Wifty]

This is why bar/club lays are unmatched imo. Way quicker too. Everyone knows why everyone else is there.

In the streets too it can go really fast.

Day and night

 

[l0vebone]

This is why bar/club lays are unmatched imo. Way quicker too. Everyone knows why everyone else is there.

In the streets too it can go really fast.

Day and night

Yep. Just deleted Tinder. Fuck that app man. I downloaded it, and in 2 days I had about 10 "likes," (whatever that yellow crap is when someone swipes right on you) so I was like fuck it, I'll get gold. Got gold, some of the girls were hot, some not. Then I stopped getting matches completely, even after using a boost. So you mean to tell me that I just got 10 likes all of a sudden then girls just stopped liking me? Seems like bullshit, like their algorithm saw that I paid for gold and then cancelled the subscription so they started fucking with me.

But on any given saturday if I start right at noon, I can literally roam my city, going to stores and malls, talking to girls, easily talk to 50 girls before 6 pm and get one number at the very minimum, but usually an average of like 5 solid numbers that will lead to something. And all of these girls are really attractive to me.

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

Just deleted Tinder. Fuck that app man. I downloaded it, and in 2 days I had about 10 "likes," (whatever that yellow crap is when someone swipes right on you) so I was like fuck it, I'll get gold. Got gold, some of the girls were hot, some not. Then I stopped getting matches completely, even after using a boost. So you mean to tell me that I just got 10 likes all of a sudden then girls just stopped liking me? Seems like bullshit, like their algorithm saw that I paid for gold and then cancelled the subscription so they started fucking with me.

What are the chances your pics sucked major, hairy balls?

 

[l0vebone]

Just deleted Tinder. Fuck that app man. I downloaded it, and in 2 days I had about 10 "likes," (whatever that yellow crap is when someone swipes right on you) so I was like fuck it, I'll get gold. Got gold, some of the girls were hot, some not. Then I stopped getting matches completely, even after using a boost. So you mean to tell me that I just got 10 likes all of a sudden then girls just stopped liking me? Seems like bullshit, like their algorithm saw that I paid for gold and then cancelled the subscription so they started fucking with me.

What are the chances your pics sucked major, hairy balls?

Yeah, they're really awful. Still doesn't explain how I got 10 matches in 2 days, after that, 0 matches for the rest of the week. I'm thinking it's just their algorithm fucking with me.

Oh and to answer your question OP, what I would do is have a pretty "safe" bio if you're worried about work, and have safe text conversations as well, but asking them for a date within 5-10 messages. Then when you're on the date start touching asap, then kiss her at the end of the date. I'm in the same position as you man, just gotta be smart with it. Getting laid's not worth your job.

 

[Aloofus]

Thanks both for your comments.

My career isn't public-public (I'm not a celebrity), but I can easily be searched for on LinkedIn or on my company's website (my photos along with deals I've done with my team etc). I'm in finance which is, as you know, like 10% based on results and 90% based on politics/relationships so I really gotta guard my reputation with my life.

i've had wayyy too many instances of friends telling me "Hey you fucked my friend" or "Hey you tried to fuck my friend, I heard you asked her if she was a good little spoon?" LOL. And there's no way to tell who knows who on Tinder, y'know

I think you're probably way more worried about this than you should be.

My main tinder photo is my photo here, literally of me in my work uniform. I routinely see women on there with varying levels of risque photos, that are also professionals and/or work at large companies.

Just don't use the same pics on tinder as you do on LinkedIn, so nobody can photo search you.