Shitting where you eat?

[MILFandCookies]

Hey all.

"Relationships & Retention" isn't the perfect place to ask this, but it's the closest so here goes.

I've had a policy of not shitting where I eat, e.g. I love my gym - 10th Planet - I've recently been going 5 days a week. AWESOME fucking workouts. I have been holding back though on asking girls out for the most part.

There are a ton of hot girls, and some seem to be looking at me and smiling at me a lot more than they do other guys. Maybe it's in my head, but either way I wanna ask them out then play hide the sausage.

I analyzed why I have this policy, and I realized I'm afraid. It's out of fear of "making things weird" or "going too far and being ostracized from the gym." But I know if I'm clear about it being casual, and clear with the girl that my relationship with the gym is really important, and follow her cues and not be too pushy then it's not a big danger.

But before I let go of my policy and have at it, I want to hear your guys' take...

Do you "shit where you eat" and fuck with girls who are in your social circles?

If so, why?

If not, why not?

 

[The Beast]

I think the "where you eat" more often refers to not approaching in a workplace environment where you earn your money.

If you're happy to get rejected in your home gym and then potentially see that chick 4-5 times a week or whatever, go for it. Pretty much worse case scenario she says she has a boyfriend.

I have approached in a gym before, spoke for like 1min, asked for her number, she said she had a boyfriend. This was with fairly severe approach anxiety as well. I'll be approaching in the gym when I get AA programme done definitely. I honestly think it's open season in the gym so long as you're prepared to "make things weird" the next time you see her.

 

[Lostcause]

I am in a small skating community in my Country/City. Its not that big group of people I meet on a daily basis. There were few girls there I hit on - you can find the stories in my GLL log. Notably: one of my first lays girl, the girl that turned out lesbian when I kissed her (she also hates me now for some reason well), one girl I tried to hit on but was clearly uninterested so I didnt pursue, then I had a kind "no shit where you eat" policy, then I fucked one more girl there. She was too obviously interested in me to let it go lol.

Anyway, the thing I can tell you from the experiences above: go ahead, just dont be weird about it. No one will kick you out of the gym for asking a girl for a number. Unless you go around interrupting peoples workouts or are creepy about it, which I believe is not your aproach.

Maybe try just smalltalking to some girls and seeing the reaction? If its positive just take the action out of the gym, if not abort the idea and try aproaching somewhere else.

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

I used to do Capoeira and its easy for Capoeiristas to form a community. That's contrary to the gym where, even if you talk with people, you rarely hang out with them or go for drinks.

So, it was normal to hit on girls and form relationships there. If things went south in the relationship, there was gonna be some gossip but it would die after a few weeks. Heck, even some

Personally, I've approached one girl who turned out to train at my gym. We didn't go out. A few weeks later I saw her training, she smiled, I smiled and that was it. So no drama.

To make you feel a bit better: Just like it takes two to tango, it takes two for a cold approach interaction to go smooth, and it takes two for the same interaction to make it weird. As long as you act cool, I doubt the girl is gonna act weird. And even if she does and she reports you or whatever, people will know that something's off with her, not you.

 

[Calis]

"Not shitting where I eat"... If you talking about the gym, for me it doesn't care. The gym will not impact your life contrary to your job.

Two years ago, I had a crush for a girl from my salsa class. I asked her two time for a drink and she refused both. Nothing special happens. We had to danced together every class but we act as if nothing had happened.

If you get rejected at the gym, you will have one girl or more stop watching you ? The worst scenario will not change your exercice routine. I don't think you will be ban for that.

 

[MILFandCookies]

Thanks for the advice guys! There's one girl in particular who's really smily and kind, but I think she's a bit extra for me. It might be in my head but she's cute so I'll ask her out and see where it goes.

I already asked one girl out there a month or two ago who had a boyfriend. We're still super friendly, actually even more so since before I asked her out. The fear I have isn't in control anymore.

I do want to be clear though - I said "gym" but it's not like Golds. It's a martial arts gym, with maybe 10-20 rotating regular people I see on an everyday basis and take conditioning and fighting classes with. Much more of a community than a gym where you put your headphones on and do your own thing with others around.

Everything still applies though. I'll post in my log what happens.

 

[Lostcause]

. I do want to be clear though - I said "gym" but it's not like Golds. It's a martial arts gym, with maybe 10-20 rotating regular people I see on an everyday basis and take conditioning and fighting classes with. Much more of a community than a gym where you put your headphones on and do your own thing with others around.

It's even better! Its not even aproaching. Its just a regular social interactions, aint it. Doesnt it seem natural to make friends (girl friends) in the group?

 

[MILFandCookies]

It's even better! Its not even aproaching. Its just a regular social interactions, aint it. Doesnt it seem natural to make friends (girl friends) in the group?

Yes and no. Yes, now that I've labeled the fear and ignored it, but my main fear with girls is being ostracized so the fact that it's closer made me more nervous.

All the more reason to ask girls out.