Should a man always write first?

[okletsg0]

I do get HQ matches due Im swiping moderate selective but it seems whenever I’m writing first I rarely get respond back. Say for example I write everyday to 10 of my matches and only 3-4 respond back or ghosted later.

I’m thinking of another approach, as I let the women write first because then I know she is ready or down to meet up.

Because of my current approach like writing first and few answer or never is a lot pain in confidence and it’s not going either help with removing the match because u will come to that day your feed will be empty because you swiped on almost all girls in your city. Btw I live in a 2 million population city.

 

[ytlord]

Because of my current approach like writing first and few answer or never is a lot pain in confidence

If girls not responding to your Tinder opener hurts your confidence, you probably need to work on that instead of just deciding not to open. Also, you can’t even take it as a judgement on you - hot girls have tons of matches and literally don’t have time to look at every message they get.

I won’t lie, probably 50% of my lays are girls who message first, but only 50%. I’d be losing that other 50% if I didn’t message first.

it’s not going either help with removing the match because u will come to that day your feed will be empty because you swiped on almost all girls in your city

I don’t exactly know what this means, but I wouldn’t worry about running out of girls in a 2 million pop city. You have to consider that a city like that likely has large turnover, with people steadily moving in and out, girls entering your preferred age bracket, etc. 2 million doesn’t mean 2 million opportunities, it’s just a representation of how much flow you have to work with. I’m on the outskirts of a 5 million city and I notice that when the rare occasion comes that the pool seems to be drying up, eventually there’s a new semester / round of internships / new grads etc that refresh the pool very reliably.

 

[okletsg0]

hot girls have tons of matches and literally don’t have time to look at every message they get.

Is this an excuse for them to not respond you mean?

I mean who told them to still match with other when not first responding to their matches?

This is tinder, you match with people if you are interested to talk to. It’s not like old Badoo or other old dating websites where you see all members without matching with them and writing to all of them, then I would understand why they won’t answer.

Tinder is another story.

My hard guess is the vast majority are their to get ego boosted just to match with hot guys but won’t talk or meet up unless you don’t message them in right time which would be when she is drunk and horny.

 

[pancakemouse]

hot girls have tons of matches and literally don’t have time to look at every message they get.

Is this an excuse for them to not respond you mean?

I mean who told them to still match with other when not first responding to their matches?

This is tinder, you match with people if you are interested to talk to. It’s not like old Badoo or other old dating websites where you see all members without matching with them and writing to all of them, then I would understand why they won’t answer.

Tinder is another story.

My hard guess is the vast majority are their to get ego boosted just to match with hot guys but won’t talk or meet up unless you don’t message them in right time which would be when she is drunk and horny.

You seem to have some internalized anger and I imagine it won't go away until you learn more about the nature of women/people.

One book to start with would be The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.

The OKCupid blog posts archive is a good one for online dating specifically: https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/index

 

[okletsg0]

Is this an excuse for them to not respond you mean?

I mean who told them to still match with other when not first responding to their matches?

This is tinder, you match with people if you are interested to talk to. It’s not like old Badoo or other old dating websites where you see all members without matching with them and writing to all of them, then I would understand why they won’t answer.

Tinder is another story.

My hard guess is the vast majority are their to get ego boosted just to match with hot guys but won’t talk or meet up unless you don’t message them in right time which would be when she is drunk and horny.

You seem to have some internalized anger and I imagine it won't go away until you learn more about the nature of women/people.

One book to start with would be The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.

The OKCupid blog posts archive is a good one for online dating specifically: https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/index

Lol questioning things are not about one is angry or bitter. It may sound like that to you. But ok.

And these Okcupid things or “studies” it’s about how America or US people are in general. It should not talk for all women over the world. Since there are culture differences.
The culture in US, Canada and Australia. differ from one here in Scandinavia.

The last things a women care here in Sweden is what a man have for education. Maybe women over age 35+ care about a man’s wealth because of the benefit he may can provide to him and herself for the future family.