starshipcaptain
Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2023
Stardate: February 18th, 2023. Just kidding...
Background
For the longest time, I've been afraid of change, afraid of trying. I've only accepted opportunities (in dating or in life) which were easy or presented themselves to me. I think this was really about fear of failure or fear of rejection. But I'm accepting that failure is a natural part of the process of success. The sooner you try, the sooner you fail - and learn what works and what doesn't. Then, you iterate. Then, you succeed.
Body
One of my biggest priorities right now is losing body fat. Based on the example body fat images I've seen, my abs goal translates to about 12-14% body fat. I'm occasionally fasting as a fat loss technique. Currently at about 175lbs, down from 183lbs at the beginning of the year. Expecting to lose about 20lbs more, at least. I'm also exercising to build foundational strength and prevent too much muscle loss, but that's not my real focus right now. Main focus is shedding the fat.
Lifestyle
Currently renting a room in a home to save money. It's fine, but I'd like to have my own place (in part so I can invite women over). I need a new place before my current lease ends, so... time to start looking for that new place.
Career
I'm planning to move into a new field which is more aligned with my interests. Considering a few options. More on this later.
Wardrobe
Going through the guide by Radical and building a shopping list. I'll be picking up some items soon.
Profile Pics
I'll post images from my dating profile here in the forum and get some feedback. I think the feedback will be:
Everything but the DSLR is covered in other parts of this post. I'll add the camera to my list of next steps.
Dating
This is where I feel the most fear. I don't get many matches that interest me. I know improving other areas (body, clothes) will improve my matches. Currently, even when I do get matches, I don't seem to read the situation right. I have almost no experience being assertive or expressing my desire, almost making women come to me (which is rare). I think this leads to a lack of clarity and creates frustration for everyone.
For example: I recently had a situation where after a few dates, a woman literally asked me over for a "sleepover" soon. I said that sounded great, but when it came to the actual planning of doing so, I left her hanging (just busy with other stuff) so long she moved on. I think she felt rejected by my lack of clear action and interest.
I need to be more assertive with women, more clear about my intentions, so we can be on the same page and enjoy ourselves. I will simplify and streamline my messaging approach to make sure I'm communicating clearly up front and finding matches who align with me. This will be a lot easier if I felt more confident, which will come in part from being in better shape and improving my wardrobe.
Background
For the longest time, I've been afraid of change, afraid of trying. I've only accepted opportunities (in dating or in life) which were easy or presented themselves to me. I think this was really about fear of failure or fear of rejection. But I'm accepting that failure is a natural part of the process of success. The sooner you try, the sooner you fail - and learn what works and what doesn't. Then, you iterate. Then, you succeed.
Body
One of my biggest priorities right now is losing body fat. Based on the example body fat images I've seen, my abs goal translates to about 12-14% body fat. I'm occasionally fasting as a fat loss technique. Currently at about 175lbs, down from 183lbs at the beginning of the year. Expecting to lose about 20lbs more, at least. I'm also exercising to build foundational strength and prevent too much muscle loss, but that's not my real focus right now. Main focus is shedding the fat.
Lifestyle
Currently renting a room in a home to save money. It's fine, but I'd like to have my own place (in part so I can invite women over). I need a new place before my current lease ends, so... time to start looking for that new place.
Career
I'm planning to move into a new field which is more aligned with my interests. Considering a few options. More on this later.
Wardrobe
Going through the guide by Radical and building a shopping list. I'll be picking up some items soon.
Profile Pics
I'll post images from my dating profile here in the forum and get some feedback. I think the feedback will be:
- lose fat
- Improve wardrobe
- Emulate the "pro" dating photos
- Get a DSLR and take a shitload more pics
Everything but the DSLR is covered in other parts of this post. I'll add the camera to my list of next steps.
Dating
This is where I feel the most fear. I don't get many matches that interest me. I know improving other areas (body, clothes) will improve my matches. Currently, even when I do get matches, I don't seem to read the situation right. I have almost no experience being assertive or expressing my desire, almost making women come to me (which is rare). I think this leads to a lack of clarity and creates frustration for everyone.
For example: I recently had a situation where after a few dates, a woman literally asked me over for a "sleepover" soon. I said that sounded great, but when it came to the actual planning of doing so, I left her hanging (just busy with other stuff) so long she moved on. I think she felt rejected by my lack of clear action and interest.
I need to be more assertive with women, more clear about my intentions, so we can be on the same page and enjoy ourselves. I will simplify and streamline my messaging approach to make sure I'm communicating clearly up front and finding matches who align with me. This will be a lot easier if I felt more confident, which will come in part from being in better shape and improving my wardrobe.
