Start of my tinder journey

[JurcekThePurcek]

Hey everyone,

I was briefly on this forum on the cold approach forum. I set some goals for myself which in the end I failed so I did not want to post anything (felt ashamed I guess ) before I actually do something worthwhile.

I decided its inevitable to start online dating. I bought a DSLR camera and the camera objective following Andy's guide.

This weekend I took some pictures with my friend. Profile which I am currently rolling with: https://tinder.com/@jnothig

Pictures which I have atm : https://www.dropbox.com/sh/0soojr16g8pp55d/AAB65RRPk0oDaK1u2KvgGPHZa?dl=0

What do you guys think about the pictures, how can I improve? Are any of these pictures good enough for OD, can I except any success from OD with these?

 

[filbko]

Hi,

The first problem with your Tinder profile is that you have only three photos. 5 or 6 is optimum. Your first pic doesn't show your eyes because you have sunglasses. IMHO, the first pic should be only a face pic. The second pic is solid, you are just walking, and it is not too posed, but again walking pic. The third pic is too posed. No activity pic, no group photo, and no dog pic, so think about that.

I like only pics 14, 15, and 24 from your dropbox tinder collection, but all of these are the same type, and you wear sunglasses too much.

 

[Hedon]

Hey man, pic number 1 is good and on the right lines. Don't really like pretty much the rest of the photos though apart from pic number 18 with the stone wall background.

You're wearing sunglasses in a lot of the photos and I would only have 1-2max with sunglasses and 4-5 without.

It's interesting how your keeping a consistent colour palette in your style within the photos which I think is a good idea but I think that red colour doesn't help your style that much - sticking to black, grey and white would be better imo.

A lot of the photos look pretty dull, you should deffo edit the background, highlights, shadows etc to get a more vibrant look.

I think it would have been a better idea to find a good photographer and pay per shoot for him which also includes editing rather than spending a lot on buying a DSLR yourself. You can find good deals on Groupon for photographers.

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Hey everyone,

thanks for the feedback Hedon and filbko .

I added some new photos and edited some of the old ones, the profile im currently rocking is:

https://tinder.com/@jn004

Been on 4 dates for the past 2 weeks, also got my first lay in that time, so this is definitely paying off, thanks to Andy's guide .

Got a question regarding this 1 girl who I'm seeing (no lay) and if there is any chance of salvaging the situation. Context is this:

We have been on 2 dates.
First date went well, coffe for 30 minutes into walking (holding hands) and making out. Great
After that date I invited her straight to my place for cooking date, she declined with basicly saying she's not that type of girl.
Second date we went for another walk with a lot of making out and touching. She again messages me like 30 minutes after the date, same happened after the 1st date. Over text she is investing A LOT, double texting me etc..
Then I invited her to my place AGAIN and the conversation went like this:

Me: invites her over
Her: I told you im not coming over to your place that soon. Anything else could come into consideration. "she proceeds to screenshot me her schedule so we can meet"
Me: are you nervous about coming over
Her: It's not abot being nervous, its about me being old fashioned about coming to your place, personally im not in a hurry (basicly saying not having sex anytime soon)
Me: Personally I dont look at it like going fast, I just dont limit myself with that
Her: Everyone has their own point of view and way of thinking. But it would be fine if you respected mine
Me: I respect that, we have different views and that's fine, but it looks like we're not a good match. you're a great girl and I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for, enjoy
(this text was far from ideal, because I think I closed the doors with her for no reason, it's also has to do with the fact that I've been going on many dates, got laid a week earlier and tbh was thinking she would reply with something else than:
Her: Okay bye, good luck to you in finding a girl with your preference

The retarded part of this whole story is that this is the girl I like the most, and was wondering if you guys think there is ANY change of salvaging this situation. How many days should I wait before sending her a message, and if so what would that message be.

 

[Squilliam]

I'm no expert, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. However, Why didn't you invite her over on the last date, I don't get why you would wait until after the date to do it again over text. It would've been better to do it on the date. In your physical presence she's more likely to say yes. Once a girl leaves your sight, your ability to make an emotional impact on her markedly diminishes.

I used to do the same thing, I was super afraid of rejection. But it's way more fuckboy-like and confident to actually ask her in person.

I don't think this is really salvageable. The text you sent pretty much permanently closes the door.

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Tbh I wasn't even thinking about inviting her over, especially after the first time she sent the text about not coming over, also she had to go home (if this even matters , i guess girls will bend the rules if they wanna fuck with you).

I mean at the end of the day I dont have anything to lose to message her in a week or 2, but my frame will be completely fucked after that and if I was to message her, I can't just continue like nothing happened..

 

[kratjeuh]

I added some new photos and edited some of the old ones, the profile im currently rocking is:

Already good improvements here. I think they can be better with less shadow on your face and you probably only want 2 photos of you just walking around. Ideally 1 max but looks like you have succes already.

The retarded part of this whole story is that this is the girl I like the most, and was wondering if you guys think there is ANY change of salvaging this situation. How many days should I wait before sending her a message, and if so what would that message be.

You did a very bad text and most likely won't get this girl back. I believe your only bet is to ask to call her just a quick 5 minutes (worst case you have to voice memo). Tell her you genuinely like her and only invited her back because of this reason (don't tell her you follow a template where you ask every girl back ^^) and you feel like you made a mistake letting her go that easily.

You'll get placed into boyfriend zone if she gives you a second chance and you'll likely won't get her at your place for a potential 4th date. I don't know if you want to play it that way tbf because it might set the tone of the relationship

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Already good improvements here. I think they can be better with less shadow on your face and you probably only want 2 photos of you just walking around. Ideally 1 max but looks like you have succes already.

Thanks man, atm I'm working on my body to take a not tryhard shirtless picture when the summer hits.

I don't know if you want to play it that way tbf because it might set the tone of the relationship

By tone you mean me not fully commiting to my word or being in the boyfriend zone (which I dont mind, I mean i wouldn't go into a relationship with this girl, but I wouldn't mind seeing her for a year while I see other chicks).

I like the quick call idea, since im overthinking (otherwise I wouldnt be in this situation ), we had this convo yesterday, should I do this call asap or wait a week or so

 

[kratjeuh]

Thanks man, atm I'm working on my body to take a not tryhard shirtless picture when the summer hits.

You don't have to get a shirtless pic but you can go to a cool place and show of some hobbies like hiking, playing sports, ... Makes you look more interesting.

By tone you mean me not fully commiting to my word or being in the boyfriend zone (which I dont mind, I mean i wouldn't go into a relationship with this girl, but I wouldn't mind seeing her for a year while I see other chicks).

You completely lost frame because you would be the one coming back which gives her immense power in the relationship. If she wants a relationship and you don't, I advice you to be honest and not being afraid to lose her.

 

[Squilliam]

Tbh I wasn't even thinking about inviting her over, especially after the first time she sent the text about not coming over, also she had to go home (if this even matters , i guess girls will bend the rules if they wanna fuck with you).

I mean at the end of the day I dont have anything to lose to message her in a week or 2, but my frame will be completely fucked after that and if I was to message her, I can't just continue like nothing happened..

If your goal is to get laid, you need to be inviting every single girl back to your place at the end of a first date. Doesn't matter if she seems a bit distant, doesn't matter if she seems uninterested, etc. Just do it. And if she says no on the first date, you need to be trying again on every subsequent date until one of you decides to break things off or she says yes. You need to schedule every date near your place. This also helps send the right message.

Also doesn't matter if she needs to go home early. You can lower the compliance threshold. "It'll only be for 10 minutes", or something like that. If a girl really wants to fuck you she'll make some compromises.

I don't think it's worth trying to revive this. Kinda reeks of scarcity anyways. Guys with abundance would be moving on. But you don't have anything to lose.

This girl sounds like one of those clear "comfort" girls. I'd wager you need to screen more also.

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

You completely lost frame because you would be the one coming back which gives her immense power in the relationship. If she wants a relationship and you don't, I advice you to be honest and not being afraid to lose her.

I understand, and after that I would assume its really hard to regain frame if it is even possible right. We didn't touch on the subject if she's looking for a relationship or not. but she being more on the conservative side, we could assume she is

You can lower the compliance threshold. "It'll only be for 10 minutes",

I'l remember this on for future situations.

I don't think it's worth trying to revive this. Kinda reeks of scarcity anyways. Guys with abundance would be moving on. But you don't have anything to lose.

And even though I know this is true (from all the pickup/red pill content), I still wanna see what will happen, but I'l wait a few days first..

Btw. thank you guys for all the feedback on this!

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Sup everyone,

For those who have read previous posts, I didn't end up messaging that girl again, the more time has passed, the more I realized it was a TERRIBLE idea. Even though I learned to NEVER close any doors like that even again, I feel kinda good about closing her off like that.

The girl that I had sex with 2 weeks ago came over again, we drank some time and had some fun .

Just for some context for the next part, atm I don't live in my hometown, im in city where I finished college and am atm working here, and I spend majority of my time here (i go to my hometown like once a month).

Gonna go on a 3rd date this weekend in my home town with this chick I met on badoo. Last date was at the swimming pools which really was a rollercoaster ride. She asked me if I was still using dating apps, to which I replied that yes. She wasn't too happy about that and kept asking me questions whether im messaing those girl etc. So I said lets talk about it, I told her that im seeing other girls, that i intend to see other girls and that I'm not a guy who jumps to relationships fast. She apparently isn't using dating apps anymore (personally I don't believe this but at the end of the day it's w/e for me). After that interesting and honest conversation we ended up making out and chilling. She messaged me twice already since then. Very high interest.

Matched with this girl on Bumble who is also from my hometown, she seems very receptive, got her number, did some chit chat, I planted the idea of us going onto a date. I'l ask her in 2-3 days since im going to my hometown this weekend.

Was supposed to go on a date this week with a girl from badoo, but our schedule's collapsed for the second week, but she said that she wants to meet me IRL, she also said in the first few messages that she was surprised I even swiped on her since she thinks im very hot (keep in mind, this girl looks very hot to me also lol).
Messages wise we ended on this:
Her: Id love to go out with your for a cup of coffe.
Me: It's a big plus for me when I see the girl is excited to meet me.
Her: Also for me. But don't worry, we'l go out since I really want to meet you.

I just left it at that, didnt reply or like her message, do you guys think that I should have said something to that or just leave it at that and try to make plans for next week on this sunday.

Judging by past messages it doesn't seem like a bullshit excuse, but we'l see. Even though im completely new to all of this (serial dating) I adopted (atleast how much I can since im just starting out) the mindset that there's always a chance of flaking, that way its easy to keep a piece of mind. Props to pancakemouse with his post about that.

Could any of the moderators move this thread to "Progress log" and keep it private (so non logged in users can't see my picture ).

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Hey everyone,

just a little update on the past few days.

When I was in my hometown I was supposed to meet with 2 girls (1 for the 1st time, 1 for 3rd date) and ended up with going with neither 1 had to step in for her sick coworker, other 1 couldn't get to town (she lives pretty far away).

Got catfished for the first time ever, even though I should have known better, this girl had no body pictures on Tinder. We scheduled to meet same evening we matched. The "date" went for 10 minutes after I saw her irl. No further comment.

Was on the best date so far on monday, or so I thought. This girl was just my type, hot girl. From texts from before the 1st date, she got the idea that I sleep with a lot women (which atm I do not) to which I just replied "i didn't even have sex, im a virgin ". When we met I go straight for a hug, when we sit in she immediately sits next to me. I have my arms around basicly at the start of the date. try to kiss 30-40 minutes in, she rejects with "I never kiss on 1st date". Later on the date she literally tells me I should be model, giving me compliments, being REALLY into me (eye contact, leaning in, flirty). I sent a text the day after the date, about something we talked about on the date, she replied with 1 message, after that nothing. Sucks cause the girl was hot. I guess this girl is more on the conservative side, she was in one 5 year relationship, and one of 6 months and she is only 22.

Did she stop responding cause nothing happened on the first date, despite her saying that she doesn't kiss (she didn't mention sex but she basicly didn't have to) on first date?

then I went to do 3 cold approaches. nothing worth mentioning except it was like a month since I last cold approached. Getting back into from today.

 

[kratjeuh]

Did she stop responding cause nothing happened on the first date, despite her saying that she doesn't kiss (she didn't mention sex but she basicly didn't have to) on first date?

I wouldn't think to deeply into this. Girls are girls and they are so unpredictable at times. Your sample size is obviously to small to make conclusions.

Brush it off and take it as a compliment that you were able to have a good date with a very attractive girl. Repeat this process 50-100 times and the issue will be fixed without you even realising (because you become better at dating).

If you go on 100 dates with hot girls and can easily get more dates, yet you're still unable to pull. Then it's time to dive deep into this, but I'm almost certain this won't be the case

 

[Wnyhg]

Touch.

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Hey everyone,

kratjeuh a much better perspective on the situation I agree. Also i definitely saw that girls are very random sometimes

Wnyhg That's definitely what I am focusing on overall with girls these days. Felt the date went pretty good considering it was with a hotter girl so im feeling pretty good about that haha.



Did 3 cold approaches today, and for the 1st time ever I approached a girl in the grocery shop. I approached with "hey, i think i know your boyfriend", well in the end she did actually have a boyfriend. Ended on good note though definitely a big step for me.

Tinder likes went down a lot in the past few days, gonna reset dating apps with a new SIM card in the next few days. So yeah... nothing really happening with OD.

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Hey everyone,

Was on a date with a new girl yesterday (from Tinder). This girl and I live like 2 minutes apart from each other, we met at a bar near both of us.

The date:
Started off with a usual hug. We first sat across each other for the first 20-30 minutes after which I told her to sit besides me, she comes. Some more chit chat and I invite her to my place, she accepts. This was like 1 hour into the date.
In front of my building, she says she will stay for just 10 minutes, I casually reply with "that's fine". was this a shit test or just another random behaviour? also what do you guys reply to this.

We are in my apartment, so far all I did was some physical touching in the bar and holding hands while walking to my aparmtent. We split a bottle of beer and we start making out immediately. We make out for like 20-30 minutes, I'm touching her boobs (over clothes this time), rubbing her pants, she is also "jerking" me off through pants, but she does not want to go any further, when I try to grab her boobs under her clothes, she moves my hand. We pretty much repeat this like 4-5 times, the furthest I went was kissing her boots (not over clothes) after which she again stopped me. Also, after a few times of making out like this, when she would put her hand on my dick, I would move her hand away.. I also felt she was pretty wet THROUGH her pants, which makes me ever more confused. She also said she is going home soon like 10 times, not even joking. At one point I ask her if there is anything on her mind, or does she not do sex on 1st date. She said she does not to which I reply that's fine and that I can respect that.

All in all pretty confused with all of this, she seemed really into me and the date, but she wouldn't go all the way. Sucks because she is also really hot Will send her a message (if she doesn't text me first) tomorrow and try to setup 2nd date.

What would you guys do differently in my situation. I feel like I didn't have to make out with her for like 1 hour without us going any further. I also need to get it through my head that NOT every chick will fuck on the first date, and the more important thing is that I don't have the game to be pulling this off...yet.

I also feel like if it didn't go down the 1st date, I have pretty low chances of seeing this girl again. of course il try to make plans, but what are your guys's experiences with this, out of curiosity.

Will meet with my usual chick tomorrow for some car sex, so that's something

 

[pancakemouse]

In front of my building, she says she will stay for just 10 minutes, I casually reply with "that's fine". was this a shit test or just another random behaviour? also what do you guys reply to this.

Anti-slut defense. Not a shit test. How you replied is perfect. Agree with words, persist with actions. Remember this for any last minute resistance.

We are in my apartment, so far all I did was some physical touching in the bar and holding hands while walking to my aparmtent. We split a bottle of beer and we start making out immediately. We make out for like 20-30 minutes, I'm touching her boobs (over clothes this time), rubbing her pants, she is also "jerking" me off through pants, but she does not want to go any further, when I try to grab her boobs under her clothes, she moves my hand. We pretty much repeat this like 4-5 times, the furthest I went was kissing her boots (not over clothes) after which she again stopped me. Also, after a few times of making out like this, when she would put her hand on my dick, I would move her hand away.. I also felt she was pretty wet THROUGH her pants, which makes me ever more confused. She also said she is going home soon like 10 times, not even joking. At one point I ask her if there is anything on her mind, or does she not do sex on 1st date. She said she does not to which I reply that's fine and that I can respect that.

All in all pretty confused with all of this, she seemed really into me and the date, but she wouldn't go all the way. Sucks because she is also really hot Will send her a message (if she doesn't text me first) tomorrow and try to setup 2nd date.

What would you guys do differently in my situation. I feel like I didn't have to make out with her for like 1 hour without us going any further. I also need to get it through my head that NOT every chick will fuck on the first date, and the more important thing is that I don't have the game to be pulling this off...yet.

I also feel like if it didn't go down the 1st date, I have pretty low chances of seeing this girl again. of course il try to make plans, but what are your guys's experiences with this, out of curiosity.

Why were you moving her hand away from your dick?

Every girl has a different blueprint for overcoming resistance. Sounds like she was a "whip it out" girl. I would have unzipped and let her grab it bare, then whispered dirty stuff in her ear to drive her crazy.

Yes, there's a point of no return where if you don't overcome the resistance you'll never see her again. And yes, you should be escalating faster.

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Anti-slut defense. Not a shit test. How you replied is perfect. Agree with words, persist with actions. Remember this for any last minute resistance.

Seemed like a good answer to me aswell . When she said she'l stay for another 10 minutes for the 6th time, and I again reply with "that's fine", she even made this face like she is surprised with my answer. This was after us making out, touching etc.

Why were you moving her hand away from your dick?

Every girl has a different blueprint for overcoming resistance. Sounds like she was a "whip it out" girl. I would have unzipped and let her grab it bare, then whispered dirty stuff in her ear to drive her crazy.

Yes, there's a point of no return where if you don't overcome the resistance you'll never see her again. And yes, you should be escalating faster.

I was trying to do "push-pull", but I also got kinda frustrated cause I saw that we are not going to have sex, so then what is the point of her touching my disk. that's kinda the reasoning
I did actually unzip my pants at 1 point, she said that I dont have to do that. I ignore that. Then i try to put her hands under my pants but she also wouldn't do that.

Also, the girl messages me today with "interesting evening yesterday...". That seems like a good sign

 

[JurcekThePurcek]

Hey guys

So this week I have 3 scheduled dates, the most interesting being tomorrow.

It's the chick from my last post (super hottie). TLDR is that we have been on 1 date last friday, ended up at my place and made out, next day she reached out to me. Tomorrow we are going on a coffee date. I tried inviting her over to my place or that I go to her place, but she said she was thinking about going to this coffee shop we talked about on friday. I guess the game plan is the same, 1 hour date and invite her over again or we go to her place. Do you guys have anything else to add other than more touching on date coffee date itself, how should I go about escalating this time, would love to hear your guys's feedback.

Second "date" is a sex date with this chick I have been seeing for about a month now.

Third is in my hometown. This will be our 3rd date (last time I saw her was a month ago, she keeps reaching out to me which is nice). We are going for a walk saturday evening where there is a lot of intimate places, my idea FYI I only made out with this girl.


I also did a full reset on all of my dating apps today, so here we go again
The DSLR camera buy was very well worth it so far, and it has been only 2 months.