The IronWill Project: Year 3 of MAC DADDY: Realising My Greatness: DAY 59/90 - STARTED THE CUT TO 15% BF

Social circle game. Becoming a club promoter or something. Being high social status in an environment where everyone knows you and kisses your ass. Look up BowTiedSocialCircle on X. Chris from GLL got like half his lays and most of the hottest ones from getting into the high status social circles in LA, providing... services to guys who let him live in their fuck mansion, etc. KYIL and others put such a heavy emphasis on being a lone wolf spamming OLD and cold approaching, and that's great and all, but if its just not doing it for you then. That and/or facial surgery or something.
 
MakingAComeback said:
Something I will express:
Click to expand...

I feel the need to say this for the majority who were not privy to this happening line by line in our chat or in person: many of your "facts" or "truths" are in fact not true or heavily manipulated.

Your brain constantly searches for whatever data will fit its current narrative instead of objectively perceiving reality.

It is obvious to me and others (hopefully almost everyone reading this who is familiar with you) that you are ungrounded.

Not even going to bother rebutting the above point by point because we will not be able to have an objective conversation about women until you make significant progress on healing your brain.
 
Alright, that's fair.

I am working on it. Daily. Like, for hours.

I will improve my logging and reporting here.

I will say, my metrica are actually going UP for:

-Income
-Body
-Relationships


My mood, energy, health, all going UP

My chick believes I am having a "healing crisis" or what she calls a "breakdown breakthrough" in response to a lot of the healing work. I'm of the same opinion. It is sincerely very painful work.

But, it is working.

I will nonetheless respond to everyone. And I will shelve it for now and just work harder on my biological & emotional healing. I am dedicating SEVERAL HOURS to this a day. It's not like I am not doing the work....

-R
 
What I will say, is, the more I heal, the better she is looking

I mean, I don't know wtf it was, but she was looking FIRE today. I think it's when her hair is up.

She came over after I finished client calls today. Hit it raw for a while. Came in her mouth. Went out for dinner.

Now doing a little more work, and then gonna sign off for the day.

Days like this are killer. So good.

Worked hard for 3 years to be able to have days like this. Remember that. In fairness, she is very facially attractive (beautiful IMO) and she has started to lift weights, we went last week and she really did push it.

I will circle back and reply to everyone. Taking a short break and then doing some work.

She leaves for a 3 week trip tomorrow. I will do healing work with the time that opens up not trying to maintain a relationship.

-MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
-Several different cities in the UK
-Europe: Several cities in Poland. Hungary, Budapest. Did experiments across the Schengen zone. Match quality & frequency was poor. A few numbers a month (usually 1 to 3). Quality range, I'd say were 4 or 5 tops.
-US: NYC. I got matches. 2 converted to dates. Fat women.
-Latin America: Mexico, Brazil. Performed just as badly as anywhere else.
Click to expand...

So the issue here is that for a period of time, your apps were cockroach browned - meaning you got no likes or the volume was low.

I think Pancake and Rags created accounts with your pics. And they got matches.

There's a good chance you'll do better now. I'm also happy to give it a try when I get my new phone. In fact, I'd prefer it if I (or someone else) did the new tests.

We are literally willing to spend hours and money to help you with your dating. And you're being a bitch who won't listen. Brown retard.
 
@Crisis_Overcomer I set it to Manilla and got a few matches. They were all trans apart from 1. It can't be that my profile is REKT, because as you can see, it IS getting matches in some places. Nonetheless, I am not sure what you wanted to prove with the location switch. I am not exactly impressed by what came through here dude. Why were you so sure you'd prove your point if I did this....? Needless to say, this was not the outcome I was looking for.

I would be down to roll through the Philippines at some point. It looks beautiful, and I gotta say, the chicks look quite cute tbh. I do not expect this will be very fruitful in terms of dating. My sense for this is quite keen. You seem to gloss over the multitude of locations I have tried. And the warrior grinding required to achieve some modest outcomes. Hard fought progress was made. And yet, the gap between where I am, and where I want to be, remains pretty significant.

My issue was, I just wasn't closing that gap in any appreciable respect. The work, focus, and dedication was there. I failed to close the gap, because my SMV development is very slow.

Being tall as fuck (6ft5) is just a massive pain in the ass for dating at low SMV, because muscle gains are so slow, your SMV takes so, so long to move. Stoicism and patience is the answer for this problem.

Continuing to play on nightmare mode, is not what I am looking for. I have explained this in conversations with people, where it's easier to convey the textures and hues, and most people actually reach a moment where they are like...damn...ok...and accept what I say.

Communities like ours are prone to drawing in quite autistic men who are overly atomistic and reductionist in their thinking and often struggle with complexity and multivariate problems. It takes a lot of patience to have to express the same ideas and present the same problem, for multiple years.

I may just make a video to express it clearly. For the sake of posterity if nothing else. It is my opinion that SMV solves dating "quality" problems. And I expect, if I am able to properly move up a point, my issues will go away overnight, and I can essentially just enjoy the fruits of my labours.

I am looking to find a way where it's workable. Having switched to many different locations now, I am hardly able to report a discernable improvement in quality. And that is after 3 years of hardcore self improvement. The truth is, the gains are very slow, and at SMV disadvantages, finding ways to compete visually, is a very tall order. It turns my stomach to even think about this problem to be frank, and it is not one I wanted to still be grappling with at this point in the game.

Anyway, having fulfilled my obligation to testing, auditing the Greeks hypothesis, to no real avail, we can resume business as usual.

The next level for me, will be found in:

-SMV Raising: Go from 5 to 6/10. Done. That will be enough to get what I am looking for. It must be done. This can be done with muscle, low bf, tattooing, style changes, and cosmetic surgery.
-Location Switching: UK = death. Will stay out of that place. Europe, was just as bad. NYC, was glimmers of hope. I got 1 or 2 decent matches there. Mexico and Latin America, sadly, looks bleak here. Pains me as these women are brown themselves. But hey, they are entitled to their preferences. No use in arguing with reality. I am no longer optimistic about location switches, having done them a few times and been entirely underwhelmed.

.....That's it.

The sheer stupidity of some of the stuff I read makes me want to slam my head against a wall. There is little utility in continuing to switch locations, approach, and use apps when we have systematically proven at my current looks level, we are counting on miracles. They do happen. It is just a tonne of grinding and for the "rewards", it just ain't worth it.

I got my current chick, by sheer luck. Right place, right time. I was not even trying. She is AWESOME. But I just can't look past certain things. My choice. Do I like her A LOT? Yes. She also likes me. I am happy with her, and will roll with it, but it has an end date in the future because there are certain things that are just a deal breaker for me. I will enjoy every day, until then. We're in each other's life right now, for a reason.

There WILL be deeper and strategic ways to improve SMV. Men smarter than me, are able to do it. They know the correct optimisations and have a superior aesthetic sense than I do. I will keep pushing, consulting more widely, and do what it takes. My body recomp coach, will get me there. He wants me to get to 100kg as a priority, and then we will cut down. That should produce a good step change in SMV. That should be enough for half a point. The surgeries will be done later this year (rhinoplasty) which will correct my face and maybe add 0.25. There are men who ascended from 5 to 6 and I have seen how it changed their reality.

...If you think this preoccupation is a bit annoying at this stage for you to read, I'd invite you to go do 2 - 3000 approaches this year, and see no difference between the outcomes now, and at the end of the year. What would you do if this metric just didn't move no matter what you said, did, or tried?

Like me, you'd have to face the music and make the visual adjustments it takes.

The hive mind, can slightly annoy me at times, but I am patient, and open to feedback.

Having addressed the above now, and having actually tried the aforementioned advice, anyone who is fair minded and reasonable who reads this log, will understand I will just have to keep hitting the gym, saving for the procedures, and keep researching far and wide how to genuinely shift SMV to where your attraction levels start to change.

I am a firm believer in the answers existing. It often takes a lot of persistence with research and trial and error. The good news? Have tried and tested a bunch. Took what is useful, discarded what wasn't. That got me further along.

Now comes the game of patience, waiting, and just letting nature take it's course.

Through INTENT, FOCUS, and DISCIPLINE, and learning how to really raise SMV, I will make this happen this year.

Thanks all,
-MAC
 
When I asked this question in private, it pissed you off and you refused to give a straight answer, so I'm gonna ask again in public.

Who's the audience for your posting on the forums?

Why do you post the things you post here?

---

Are you trying to solicit information from other people to most effectively accomplish your goals?

Are you trying to reify your emotions and insecurities by letting them spew out "facts" and start arguments with other people so they can perpetuate themselves, because you refuse to personally listen to them or acknowledge them, and so they try to get others to listen to and validate them?

Are you trying to market yourself as the forums' #1 hustler with a top 5 IQ, great social skills in any situation, has dated over 200 women (some of whom were models) and fucked ~20, who lives an AWESOME life and is SO HAPPY to be doing what you are doing?

Are you trying to present yourself as the stable guiding influence and leader of the forums? The altruistic guy focused entirely on the community who will carefully consider everyone's opinion and appear impartial?

Do any of these conflict?
 
I was a bit pissed off because I was on my way to see S, and I was triggered by her anyway. I was not pissed off at you or your question. I didn't mind that question, rather, it was the situation. So, I will try to answer now.

To get better.

To understand how I can improve.

To achieve my goals.

And to try to help others in the same vein.

I want to get a really stellar life situation, and I also, honestly, want to see others who were in the position I was, get better and get a life that they will say is enough for them to be satisfied and content.

Posting here, helps me a lot. It helps me process things. As you know, because you know me personally, I find processing nigh on impossible. So when I write things, it actually triggers processing a few hours, or a few days later. This helps me in general and is a big reason why my life got better. And has kept improving. Though it needs a lot of work yet. Likely 2-3 years. Progress, has been slow for me man. Big time.

I was at one point a few weeks ago, ready to just delete this log and hang it up. The reaction to this was negative, so I didn't do it.

Regarding affirming my identity: perhaps. We can all psychoanalyse and read too deeply into these things, projecting the latest idea or psycho-babble we're preoccupied with. The world is shades of grey, humans are infinitely complex; I care very little about evaluating such minutiae or trivialities.

Documenting the overall journey, and myself reflecting on themes and ways I feel, helps me.

And I will also say, my desire to help make some sort of contribution, is very strong. It just feels good, to know that there is the possibility of this work serving others in some small way. I have no grandiose vision nor do I pretend to be able to influence very many. I recognise that this forum, is quite small, and the subset of the population who is able to do such intensive, daily, vigorous and, quite frankly, downright assbusting self-improvement, is small.

That does not mean one should not try.

So, I will continue to post, improve, and get better.

Loki, I am unsure why you really want to know the answer to this, to such that you'd follow up. It puzzles me. This seems like strange behaviour. I suppose that is just your considerable autism. Anyway, there is you answer, take it or leave it. That aside, I hope you are well, and look forward to reading the updates that you promised you would post.

Thanks,
-Ravi
 
MakingAComeback said:
Posting here, helps me a lot. It helps me process things. As you know, because you know me personally, I find processing nigh on impossible. So when I write things, it actually triggers processing a few hours, or a few days later. This helps me in general and is a big reason why my life got better. And has kept improving. Though it needs a lot of work yet. Likely 2-3 years. Progress, has been slow for me man. Big time.
Click to expand...

Okay. Do you think the act of posting in itself helps? I'm going to quote what Bman said on my log:

Bman said:
Your side note is also a sign you're internalizing this stuff. I journaled for a few years until I realized it was just keeping me in the mental chatter and not processing the underlying emotion. You're correct, that it's better to go direct.
Click to expand...

It kinda sounds like you're saying that the posting is a necessary evil to be able to talk to these parts later. If that's the cause and effect then I have nothing against it.

I think there's two things to consider though

- the posting might just be DELAYING the processing - if you didn't post, those urges to communicate would be reflected inwardly much sooner
- when you post, you don't just say "x part of me feels insecure about smv, x part of me feels bad, etc" and leave it at that. you add a lot of logical stuff about how these parts see the world. Normative and descriptive claims. Some of which conflict with what other people see as the best ways to accomplish goals, whether for themselves or for you overall. So they start logical arguments with you. That brings out way more of these parts into an argument, and this delays processing even further, and clouds your awareness of them even more.

Parts get to use your whole brain and any arguments to justify themselves they want. They don't just announce themselves as "hi I'm x emotion". They say "this is the objective TRUTH and everyone must know".

---

What does the sensation of focusing on "ungrounded" feel like for you?

I used to have a word, "it" - when I focused on this word, I would see my current state as "it" - a separate emotion/thought/whatever, and not "me" - and suddenly I'd take a step back inside my own head, and be aware of not just the physical reality around me, but also the reality inside my head - that my perceptions and actions were being controlled by some emotion or thought loop or whatever.

I've realized since then that this is presence/mindfulness, and am able to step into it directly now. Is that what "ungrounded" does? Wouldn't you always want to live in a state of always being grounded/present/mindful?

Anyway not to drag on or call you an uninhibited emotional animal.

I mean, I'm an uninhibited emotional animal, and so is everyone else on the forums.

But not you.

MakingAComeback said:
Communities like ours are prone to drawing in quite autistic men who are overly atomistic and reductionist in their thinking and often struggle with complexity and multivariate problems. It takes a lot of patience to have to express the same ideas and present the same problem, for multiple years.
Click to expand...

MakingAComeback said:
Loki, I am unsure why you really want to know the answer to this, to such that you'd follow up. It puzzles me. This seems like strange behaviour. I suppose that is just your considerable autism. Anyway, there is you answer, take it or leave it. That aside, I hope you are well, and look forward to reading the updates that you promised you would post.
Click to expand...

I'm also autistic and overly atomizing and radishes and can't handle cucumber multivitamin problems.

Just like everyone else on the forums.

But not you ;-)

Why do you think it was important for you to say these things?

---

To be more direct. Are you afraid of being mindful? Of being directly aware of your actions and worldview being influenced by what is actually emotions?

I used to be very afraid of this, and I still am afraid, and as I've come further along in this journey I've realized just how many defenses I built up against being mindful. Yet every time I advance I notice how it's much better to be this way and I'm happier and more integrated and wouldn't go back.

I can totally understand not wanting to go through this publicly on the forums. If you're gonna say that you're actually totally comfortable and free talking about your inner world on the forums, then my answer is lol and get real. These feel like very deep vulnerabilities from the inside and involving anyone else in them makes it 100x harder to work through.

Actually, that's going to lead to my next point.

A lot of your mindfulness practice right now seems to be influenced by your girlfriend/whatever. Honestly, I don't have a good feeling about this. She's clearly extremely emotionally complicated for you to deal with.

Exploring your inner world puts you in a very vulnerable and suggestive state. It's breaking down your reality. If you don't feel 100% comfortable and trusted with someone, you're going to have hesitations around breaking down your reality. Just because you might not THINK them doesn't mean you don't have them inside you.

That's not to even mention that after breaking down your reality, you have to rebuild it. Are you sure you're totally comfortable having someone you practically speaking, just met - do this for you?

Cults and dynamics of abuse use these tools to replace peoples' realities with their own.

Put another way, in mindfulness practice, it's extremely encouraged to get a teacher - and also extremely extremely extremely encouraged to get someone you DON'T have feelings around - aside from respect etc - otherwise this inhibits the practice a lot. To give another specific example, the metta meditation I'm doing right now, of building up unconditional love, explicitly made me choose a more distant friend as the focus of my unconditional love - because family and romantic partners add too many complicating feelings to it.

Basically... I really strongly suggest that the solo work of mindfulness etc you do, should be done with teachers/guidance from someone you have much less complicated emotions around.

As far as I can tell the only material you've read on mindfulness has been the first part of Letting Go, and the rest is solely your girlfriend as the center of this.

I've read about people using their husbands/wives/life partners for this stuff, but that's a much deeper level of commitment, and they're much further along in the journey with much better self-awareness and mindfulness skills.

Even the two-person healing stuff like Reiki... this is a much weaker claim on my end, I have no authority at all here, so you can just evaluate it from the inside and feel free to go the other way... I'm wondering if you should really be doing it with someone you have strong conflicting feelings around.

Basically - are you sure you're not self sabotaging here?

MakingAComeback said:
Regarding affirming my identity: perhaps. We can all psychoanalyse and read too deeply into these things, projecting the latest idea or psycho-babble we're preoccupied with. The world is shades of grey, humans are infinitely complex; I care very little about evaluating such minutiae or trivialities.
Click to expand...

Why do you think this is trivial minutiea?

You don't think the identities you hold affect your decisions or thoughts at all?

What do you think is more likely? You're much further along on this journey than other people, so you don't really need to bother with it? Or you're so far behind that you don't even see how important it is?
 
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To really summarize the key point, I completely agree with your priorities being smv and mindfulness - every detail of how you want to improve your smv I completely agree with - the mindfulness I think is being held back by, aside from the usual stuff that holds everyone back - fear, hesitation, being afraid you'll lose your sanity and grounding and ability to make a living, not making time for it, etc (really read up on this stuff - everyone has it, and GUARANTEED every single thing you (subconsciously) feel or think about it - others have too) - your letting your girlfriend have so much control of it.

I'm also really self aware that I'm not the perfect messenger for this - I have a very disagreeable and unloving past and history, and in the present still have 99% of this - I just don't see anyone else saying it so I'm forced to. I hope the messenger isn't killing the message here.

With love
 
I honestly don't really know if I am doing this stuff right. I mean, I don't really get it, I am doing what I'm told, I have a therapist I speak to weekly, and I ofc work with S. I am doing inner work daily.

I don't really feel any different yet.

I will keep up the work, man, and keep letting go.

Sometimes, it takes a while.

Sure, I actually agree re. doing the work w/ S. I stopped this. I realised this would be a bit weird.....She is not here right now anyway, she is gone for 3 weeks.

I am going to keep on keeping on and I don't disagree with your post. Improving this, will help be a happier and more positive person. I do not necessarily believe this improves outcomes where I need them to. We both know that is a consequence of SMV improvements. That, will come. We both agree that improving SMV & Inner World is highest ROI atm. So let it be so.

I am just letting go for now and enjoying my life. It's better than it used to be for sure. Quality problem, is fixable with SMV. Inner World, is fixable with doing the work correctly.

I am on top of this. It has to change. So, let it be done............


It can't be a bad thing to improve one's inner world. Let's see if it helps. I am open minded to it. We will just be patient with it. I'll do 5 more sessions with Kristina and if we're not making progress, and I still don't see how to change the inner world, I will find someone else.

SMV raising efforts will eventually pay off. Logically, we know this. Men who have been able to get into the 6 range usually are able to find someone who is at that level. It should not elude me for arbitrary reasons.

On the SMV front, I am pushing so hard in the gym. I dread going in the mornings because I know the pain to come.

Today I hit 140kg x 15 in deadlifts. My max is over 200kg right now. For context, in January, I was struggling to lift 100kg. I have more than DOUBLED in strength in 5 months.

I am no stranger to hard work and have no issues doing it.

Inner work, is not my domain. But I am working on it. I expect with gains in it. it should help me be a happier person. I do not believe in "inner game" or much "game" for that matter (patent horseshit, tried & tested). But I do believe, however, better a happier and more grounded person, is useful for long term quality of life, and in coming to overall acceptance if that is what one must do.

Is what it is man.

-MAC
 
Weekend was healing work, lots of infact

Strength in gym was good, had a killer session I was not looking forward to

140kg x 14 in deadlifts which was a tough battle but puts my max over 200kg

Today gotta hustle again baby

Day plan as below. Morning routine in my rooftop and then off to beach to deliver my coaching.
 
Let me catch up on the replies here before you drop any others.

Today, was good.

The gal I'm dating, asked me if I used the apps a while ago. I told her the truth, I have them but don't use them. That was accurate. We matched, for fun. And then I told her I won't bother using the apps. I didn't.

We talked about her trip a week before she left. She told me, she will not be dating, isn't going to go away and bang a bunch of dudes in Tulum, and honesty just wants to relax.

She left for her trip a few days ago, and out of interest, I checked her profile on the apps.

She immediately changed her location. Like, right away. As soon as she arrived at the airport in fact. Which was still 2hrs away from Tulum. And the next day, when she got to Tulum, she changed her location again.

Meaning she did not do what she said, which was to not try to date new people.

I felt some heavy emotions. And some pain. I sat with it. I felt it. And it began to ebb away. I felt lighter after that,

She still texts daily, as normal. And I reply, as normal.

This woman, I am not going to let become my girlfriend. We're just dating, and though we're clearly compatible in many ways, she is quite a low integrity person. She said she was teetotal, and yet drinks on a whim. Said she isn't doing any drugs, and will smoke weed on a whim. I have been teetotal for 5 months now....

I'm not mad at her. She is a good person and quite a god woman to date. She is good to me, and treats me right. Her worldview is just different from mine. She has only done open relationships, her sense of boundaries and how to act, is different from what I want.

Internally, I've already moved on. I'll keep speaking to her as normal, she has left a bunch of stuff at my place, so it's not like she doesn't trust me and doesn't want to be with me.

She did admit that she thinks dating me has long term potential, but there are too many deal breakers for me, and this one was the final straw to be honest.

If she still has any interest at the end of her trip, and comes back and is normal, I'll just have a frank convo with her about expectations. I am open to seeing her casually, but when she is off to her next location, she will need to continue her journey solo.

No hard feelings. But things like this, just aren't cool with me personally. If you said you're not going to do something, you should not do that.

I'll find ways to bang another chick when she is away, because she seems pretty f**king eager to play the field by the looks of it. And I'll continue my growth and development undeterred,

The game is the game. It's no matter.

We just keep growing and getting better.

I like the gal a lot, and hope she has a wonderful trip. I can say, I did have feelings of love towards her, and despite a lot of red flags, was open to giving it a shot. She has a different world view to me, and that's OK. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

My BBC (big brown cock) will just find another woman who wants to be with me and does not want to explore other men.

Because I do deserve love and to have a great relationship.

MAC OUT
 
Finding this out early is a positive. You already sounded too invested in her. Not as bad as the Louise situation, but trending in that direction. Let it fade and focus on healing yourself.

I do not agree with the decision to "find ways to bang another chick when she is away".

You specifically committed to forgoing "dating" while you are in Mexico. Do not renege on that commitment.

Until you make inner game progress, you will continue to loop over and over getting into unhealthy relationships and having incorrect views of reality surrounding women.
 
Yeah, she was honestly really awesome, but these things don't work for me. All good. Will chat to her when she returns, she can take her stuff, and I'll keep healing.

I will not bang another chick. I gotta admit, I really like the look of the Mexican women. They're just smoking hot. I can't speak their language, but there are times it's really hard not to approach them. I approached one this morning and just asked her to take my pic, she kinda understood what I was saying, I just had to interact with her before my BBC ripped through my shorts.

I am very weak for brown skin, long dark curly hair, and dark eyes. There are some specimens here that are really making it hard for me to not approach.

Good news is, I am listening, am coachable, and I am doing my best. So I will not take any further dating action for now. I will work on the agreed action plan. And when I have gotten my inner world better, I will just keep rolling. I am determined to have some absolutely stunning chicks like this going for me in the future. It will come.

The gal looked like this one, who gave me her number, responded to my texts, and was down for a date, but she was fuckin hard work and I think honestly at that time I was too weak she would have MOGGED my ass


I got a little better since then, I stopped writing about my lays and stuff here but I banged a few chicks legit without trying lol. Lower quality. So yeah pausing all that for now, as is the plan.

No more hoe business. Will split with Sue when she is back.

More inner work.

More gym.

More biz hustle & making money.

More saving for tattoos, surgeries, and getting to the next level.

Now I have seen lots of Latinas and seen how hot they are, I can't let them elude me JUST because my SMV is a in the shitter. I will heal my shit, get into better shape, and I will learn what I gotta do to have the abundance I need to get.

Now lets not mention this....if possible.....lul...my brain is too obsessed.

___________________________________________

Lets create space to keep doing the inner work then. Will not comment on dating stuff. I may spew some stream of consciousness shit in the log. That's how it goes you know what I mean. I will keep working like a dog as per.

Todays plan.

LETS WORK

day 42.jpg

LETS DO SOME WORK YOU F**KING USELESS LOW SMV BROWNS

MAC DADDY OUT
 
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