Tinder profile review :)

[Mike]

Hey, so recently I reinstalled tinder and a few other dating apps (bumble, OkCupid etc.) after not using for 2~ months. I've got a total of 4 lays through online dating (3 from tinder, 1 from hinge).

Problem is, after reinstalling the apps for about a week, I get next almost zero matches. (4 matches after 7 days on tinder, average. 1 reply). I'm wondering what's wrong with my profile/bio. I used to get around 3-5 matches a day on average with shittier pics.

My Profile:

Pics in order 1 through 5

View attachment 5

View attachment 4

View attachment 3

View attachment 2

View attachment 1



My Bio:

" 6'3 MMA Fighter, photographer, BDSM connoisseur, cowboy princess (see 4th pic)

Lookin for cool girls to enjoy the vibes of life with "



I don't have any weird settings on, like a close radius or age range. And I just use Andy's message template. The "Hey, you're sexy. I'm [name], I'm lookin for somethin a bit specific on here".


Are my pictures just complete ass and I don't realize it, or am I just an ugly MF lmao? Cause honestly I might be, I can't tell.

One last thing. For reference, here's a pic I took a year ago, this is the one that got me my lays when I used dating apps like 10-4 months ago. Not sure if that's important though


Thanks in advance, guys.

 

[loki]

will let others comment but pic 3 is probably completely nuking your results. serial killer stare is terrifying the hoes

you're beautiful. its just your pics and texting

unfortunately andys texting is the worst in the PUA business and I'd argue worse than literally just saying hi how are you and pitching the date/number within 5 messages

 

[Zug]

I only like the boxing pic and the b/w one. Saying you're a BDSM connoisseur in your profile is too polarizing to be a plus unless you're swimming in matches and want to hard filter for pure bdsm fuckdates. You can say the same thing in a more calibrated way like "Looking for girls who prefer Rocky Road to Vanilla" or just put "Kink friendly".

Your biggest problem is that you're mixing a bunch of different advice. All the advice works, but incongruent methods don't. Also, I don't think Andy's texting is good advice anymore. The world has changed and things are far more competitive. Everything needs to be congruent - the archetype you present, the profile pics, the bio, and your texting. Incongruence is the biggest reason, and one of the least obvious, why you don't get matches, or get matches but not dates. The boxing/mma photo reinforces your MMA bio thing (congruence) and the pic is actually good. The other photos are either bad, incongruent, or both.

Also, its impossible to not be incongruent if you're coming off as something you are not. You can and should stretch a little bit, force yourself into having to become what you want. Things that are wildly off from reality don't work though.

 

[Mike]

serial killer stare is terrifying the hoes

LMAO yeah I guess I kinda see it now. Thought that one was kinda weak anyways. I'll try and terrify the hoes a lil less. thx bro

 

[Mike]

I only like the boxing pic and the b/w one. Saying you're a BDSM connoisseur in your profile is too polarizing to be a plus unless you're swimming in matches and want to hard filter for pure bdsm fuckdates. You can say the same thing in a more calibrated way like "Looking for girls who prefer Rocky Road to Vanilla" or just put "Kink friendly".

Your biggest problem is that you're mixing a bunch of different advice. All the advice works, but incongruent methods don't. Also, I don't think Andy's texting is good advice anymore. The world has changed and things are far more competitive. Everything needs to be congruent - the archetype you present, the profile pics, the bio, and your texting. Incongruence is the biggest reason, and one of the least obvious, why you don't get matches, or get matches but not dates. The boxing/mma photo reinforces your MMA bio thing (congruence) and the pic is actually good. The other photos are either bad, incongruent, or both.

Also, its impossible to not be incongruent if you're coming off as something you are not. You can and should stretch a little bit, force yourself into having to become what you want. Things that are wildly off from reality don't work though.

I feel you there on the bdsm connoisseur thing, I'll switch it up a bit.

I don't 100% understand what you mean by the incongruence though. You say "its impossible to not be incongruent if you're coming off as something you are not", but I don't believe I'm portraying myself as something I'm not. The bio is an accurate description of myself and what I'm looking for, same with the messages. And the pics are kinda just me doin whatever I do in a day lol.

I think I understand the general gist of what you're saying about architypes though. To pick out specific parts of myself and amplify those parts, as opposed to providing a whole and complete view of my character? For example, to focus primary on the MMA fighting and sell the MMA douchebag/fuckboy look in photos. And then to make the bio and texts congruent with that.
The problem I've always had with that advice though, is that it just feels forced, inauthentic, and weird. Even if I choose an architype that is very accurate at describing me (MMA douchebag, artsy guy, leather jacket/biker), it'll prob still be forced in some way. Because it'd be neglecting a huge part of my character, and would then, I'd imagine be more incongruent, as I'd be posing as something that I'm only partly.

I do MMA 12 hours a week, I'm an art major, I usually have a biker look (I own quite a few leather jackets, I don't currently own a motorcycle rn tho, saving up for one soon). My question is how tf do I put that into an architype? Do I just 1 of those? Mix them all up?

In short I guess, any actionable thing I can do right now to improve on the architype?

Sry for long post lol, thanks in advance.

 

[Zug]

You don't need to hard force yourself into something, but leave things off that are impossible to understand out of context. If you're a hardcore MMA fighter into BDSM and collecting Pokemon cards, drop the Pokemon part off your profile.

The problem is when your pictures dont match whatever you actually are, and/or your texting style doesn't. Neither of those problems are about authenticity. Pic problem is almost always a lack of enough good pics to help reinforce what you are. Texting problem is because texting in a way that's simultaneously man to woman, short, moves things forward, isn't boring, and congruent with the profile/pics is hard.

I'm not advocating being 2dimensional, you just need to respect that there's a limit on how much info you can dump and you need to prioritize having a coherent narrative.

 

[MILFandCookies]

Hey, so recently I reinstalled tinder and a few other dating apps (bumble, OkCupid etc.) after not using for 2~ months. I've got a total of 4 lays through online dating (3 from tinder, 1 from hinge).

Problem is, after reinstalling the apps for about a week, I get next almost zero matches. (4 matches after 7 days on tinder, average. 1 reply). I'm wondering what's wrong with my profile/bio. I used to get around 3-5 matches a day on average with shittier pics.

My Profile:

Pics in order 1 through 5

Tinder pics good 1.jpg

Tinder pics good 2.jpg

Tinder pics good 3.jpg

Tinder pics good 4.jpg

Tinder pics good 5.jpg



My Bio:

" 6'3 MMA Fighter, photographer, BDSM connoisseur, cowboy princess (see 4th pic)

Lookin for cool girls to enjoy the vibes of life with "



I don't have any weird settings on, like a close radius or age range. And I just use Andy's message template. The "Hey, you're sexy. I'm [name], I'm lookin for somethin a bit specific on here".


Are my pictures just complete ass and I don't realize it, or am I just an ugly MF lmao? Cause honestly I might be, I can't tell.

One last thing. For reference, here's a pic I took a year ago, this is the one that got me my lays when I used dating apps like 10-4 months ago. Not sure if that's important though IMG_20230111_054903_077.jpg


Thanks in advance, guys.

The second one and the last one I like.

You've got crazy eyes in the one with the "titty" hat... that alone will scare a bunch of girls away.

As for the thirst photo - I totally see what you're going for... I've done this one over and over for clients. Yours looks a bit odd... the angle confuses me about what you're doing or where you are. Try something like this:
View attachment 1
View attachment 2

 

[Paid Renegade]

unfortunately andys texting is the worst in the PUA business and I'd argue worse than literally just saying hi how are you and pitching the date/number within 5 messages

Damn I've been using them (more or less) for a year. Seem to work well enough but I'm always down to try out new lines. Any templates you like better?

 

[pancakemouse]

unfortunately andys texting is the worst in the PUA business and I'd argue worse than literally just saying hi how are you and pitching the date/number within 5 messages

Damn I've been using them (more or less) for a year. Seem to work well enough but I'm always down to try out new lines. Any templates you like better?

They work for you in the sense that anything will work because you're extremely good looking.

The best alternative is and always has been: a short, non needy line that invokes curiosity (such and referencing something indirectly that you inferred from her profile).

 

[Zug]

unfortunately andys texting is the worst in the PUA business and I'd argue worse than literally just saying hi how are you and pitching the date/number within 5 messages

Damn I've been using them (more or less) for a year. Seem to work well enough but I'm always down to try out new lines. Any templates you like better?

Base:
Clickbait opener that appeals to curiosity, hints at future likely validation with small chance of being negative
spike statements that demand replies without being a question
small qualification
*if low interest and bad qualification response, tease and repeat another spike/qualification
*if high interest and good qualification response, reward and either repeat another spike/qualification or go to closing steps

Standard close:
preclose, get soft agreement on some sort of future activity
hard close

Dominant close (this has to match your vibe):
Tell her you're taking her out this/next week
Ask if you're taking her to X or Y (gives illusion of choice and explicit overt agreement without being a question about whether youre going)


The spike statements are the secret weapon. They're NOT questions, they force a response, they're super interesting, they trigger emotions, and once you get good at them you already know how she's going to reply 99% of the time so having good follow ups prepared is easy. Allows you to easily steer conversation exactly where you want to go.

The better your opener is, the higher the drop off rate will be from your opener to their 2nd message. Especially when using any curiosity based opener. Do not see this as a failure of the opener. It might be a failure of your follow up, but if you have a great opener it will always have a significant drop off rate.

Drop offs from the 2nd message onward are usually clear indication you messed up the texting either right there or in the 1-2 messages prior to the drop off.

Having a blueprint is great, but when you get very non standard answers from women, get off your script.

Always reward investment (appropriately), never punish it. Never reward low investment, never call it out or confront, make fun of it in a socially calibrated way.

Copying and mixing other people's blueprints/scripts rarely works unless they have a very similar vibe/archetype to you already. If it reads as incongruent with your bio/profile/personality and the prior texts, then it won't work very well.

 

[Olafsmash]

Clickbait opener that appeals to curiosity, hints at future likely validation with small chance of being negative
spike statements that demand replies without being a question
small qualification
*if low interest and bad qualification response, tease and repeat another spike/qualification
*if high interest and good qualification response, reward and either repeat another spike/qualification or go to closing steps

Standard close:
preclose, get soft agreement on some sort of future activity
hard close

Dominant close (this has to match your vibe):
Tell her you're taking her out this/next week
Ask if you're taking her to X or Y (gives illusion of choice and explicit overt agreement without being a question about whether youre going)

what to do when you dont have the creativity to do these things?
ive tried to get better at text game for a year now and feel like im not improving at all. idk what to do.

 

[Zug]

Clickbait opener that appeals to curiosity, hints at future likely validation with small chance of being negative
spike statements that demand replies without being a question
small qualification
*if low interest and bad qualification response, tease and repeat another spike/qualification
*if high interest and good qualification response, reward and either repeat another spike/qualification or go to closing steps

Standard close:
preclose, get soft agreement on some sort of future activity
hard close

Dominant close (this has to match your vibe):
Tell her you're taking her out this/next week
Ask if you're taking her to X or Y (gives illusion of choice and explicit overt agreement without being a question about whether youre going)

what to do when you dont have the creativity to do these things?
ive tried to get better at text game for a year now and feel like im not improving at all. idk what to do.

What kind of question is this. You keep working on it until you improve. It took me 3 years to get to where I'm at and still finding ways to constantly get better.

Take notes
Come up with lines, test, tweak
Go to forums or chatrooms focused on it for feedback

 

[pancakemouse]

Clickbait opener that appeals to curiosity, hints at future likely validation with small chance of being negative
spike statements that demand replies without being a question
small qualification
*if low interest and bad qualification response, tease and repeat another spike/qualification
*if high interest and good qualification response, reward and either repeat another spike/qualification or go to closing steps

Standard close:
preclose, get soft agreement on some sort of future activity
hard close

Dominant close (this has to match your vibe):
Tell her you're taking her out this/next week
Ask if you're taking her to X or Y (gives illusion of choice and explicit overt agreement without being a question about whether youre going)

what to do when you dont have the creativity to do these things?
ive tried to get better at text game for a year now and feel like im not improving at all. idk what to do.

For most guys it's not really possible to get consistently better at text game without consistent feedback from more experienced guys (we're talking hundreds of your potential lines and conversations batted about and analyzed).

I've been in a series of small group chats since 2016 where this was done on the daily and improved massively.

 

[Olafsmash]

For most guys it's not really possible to get consistently better at text game without consistent feedback from more experienced guys (we're talking hundreds of your potential lines and conversations batted about and analyzed).

I've been in a series of small group chats since 2016 where this was done on the daily and improved massively.

Would you reccomend signing up for Mastermind over at PWF? Do you have any experience with it?
I'm probably going back to daily logging here on kyil, so I could share one convo each day here too. No idea where else I would get feedback.

 

[Manganiello]

unfortunately andys texting is the worst in the PUA business

Yeaaa.

If Andy ever reads this hopefully he changes it.

But for those who don't know... Anybody should realize most guys moved on from his texting once they realized how autistic and bad it is.


It sucks and September is spot on.

and I'd argue worse than literally just saying hi how are you and pitching the date/number within 5 messages

It is worse. I've done both styles a lot (like +400 matches each maybe. And the 5 messages works muchhhh better.


Paid Renegade I literally stopped using his texting guide and actually explained quite thoroughly why in a post I made over a year ago. (Too lazy to dig it up, but if you really want I'll find it for u).




Zug ...

So I've done that and found really no significant difference to using spikes and creative openers vs just closing for the number and date quickly.

After awhile I started to realize girls like you for your vibe and, the texting part makes up a tiny fraction of the reason they'll meet up with you. Your profile does all the heavy lifting and the texting is just their to work out logistics and set a good vibe. And that's pretty much it.

I had a debate about this with another guy who's quite experienced. 100+ lays and not new to game by any means. And after some talking we realized my startegy of 5 texts actually did the exact same ratio as his creative openers and spikes.


So I kinda reached the conclusion. The spikes move the needle for such a small fraction of girls it doesn't even matter.

Curious what your thoughts are, because this was just a bro chat between 2 guys.

 

[Zug]

Curious what your thoughts are, because this was just a bro chat between 2 guys.

I disagree strongly. IMO, most girls don't feel much about any of their matches. Occasionally they match with someone they are hard into and all the guy has to do is not punt. For the rest of their matches, being interesting by having good text game is not just a plus but the biggest differentiator possible. There are some downsides to great text game though. The biggest being you can get girls into you and agreeing to dates, but unless the date happens immediately there is a huge flake rate when it comes to them showing up. It is a real downside, and I've tried several strategies to mitigate it, but all have had very limited success.

One side benefit of testing and tweaking lines constantly, is you can develop a nice repertoire of tools in your belt than you can pull out on dates too. A lot of good text game spike lines work in person. I fucking hated texting with a passion. I used to have to summon my resolve and grit to do it every single day. It was a work of willpower. Now I find it fun and I enjoy experimenting with it.

What Pancake mentioned previously is absolutely true. The best way to get better is a small group of guys exchanging text game examples with each other. PWF mastermind group on FB was very good, but that group does lean too heavily into con-artist type nonsense. I got a lot out of it though. There are a few very strange highly successful texters in that employ strategies I've never gotten to work, involving going very long on texts and getting insanely high investment from women.

 

[Radical]

Mike start a log mate (or turn this into one) if you want the best from this forum

Re texting convo: I go 5 messages to close and have for like 3 years now. Works great for me and everyone else i know doing it

 

[Bman]

what to do when you dont have the creativity to do these things?
ive tried to get better at text game for a year now and feel like im not improving at all. idk what to do.

What kind of question is this. You keep working on it until you improve. It took me 3 years to get to where I'm at and still finding ways to constantly get better.

Take notes
Come up with lines, test, tweak
Go to forums or chatrooms focused on it for feedback

I'd also recommend if there are really hot girls, the ones who know they are hot, and you know logistics are shit or you're not going to be getting them out anyways, then push yourself to try texting in ways you wouldn't normally (because you're too scared to do so).

When I figured out that the situation with the 6 figure OF girl was not going to work, but we were still flirty friends, I said fuck it and basically used her for training grounds to be way more aggressive with teasing, push/pull, etc. Whatever returned flirting back I would try to import over when texting with other girls. Helped a lot.

 

[Zug]

What kind of question is this. You keep working on it until you improve. It took me 3 years to get to where I'm at and still finding ways to constantly get better.

Take notes
Come up with lines, test, tweak
Go to forums or chatrooms focused on it for feedback

I'd also recommend if there are really hot girls, the ones who know they are hot, and you know logistics are shit or you're not going to be getting them out anyways, then push yourself to try texting in ways you wouldn't normally (because you're too scared to do so).

When I figured out that the situation with the 6 figure OF girl was not going to work, but we were still flirty friends, I said fuck it and basically used her for training grounds to be way more aggressive with teasing, push/pull, etc. Whatever returned flirting back I would try to import over when texting with other girls. Helped a lot.

Hard agree. Whenever I have a lead that's mostly dead, but not entirely dead, I go into fun experimentation mode. Very interesting and educational results, helps develop a fearless attitude.

 

[Thrice]

It is worse. I've done both styles a lot (like +400 matches each maybe. And the 5 messages works muchhhh better.

hey Manganiello i'm struggling with tinder i need some good examples to follow can you show me the profile that got you 400 matches?