Zach's AA Journal

[xzestyx]

AA Days 3-5

I don't often get online after work so may need to batch writing these — though i've committed to doing the drills themselves every day going forward as long as I can help it.

First, here's my Tinder profile. I've been following Andy's guide from Kill Your Inner Loser but haven't been super consistent with being on the app.

That said, in the past few months I've probably matched with ~150 girls. Went on dates with maybe a dozen + gotten laid from 4. The last one actually turned into a really rewarding months-long fwb thing with an incredibly hot, super fun + outgoing girl. She just moved out of the city last weekend though, so now I need to get back on the grind.

As far as the drills yesterday and today, I was surprised at how much resistance I had to it. I live in downtown NYC so I feel like I should be able to do this in 30 seconds, but alas, it took walking all the way to the park + circling it a few times before I hit 5.

All 5 yesterday were quick, positive interactions. Today I almost felt like I was bothering people.

• One woman looked pissed because she was on the phone (I didn't realize that)
  
• Two kept walking + shouted over their shoulders
  
• One wouldn't tell me the time despite me seeing that she literally just looked at the clock on her phone
  
• One got a reaction from a helicopter boyfriend who swooped in with his dog and cut the girl off from saying anything when I said "thanks" after she did, in fact, tell me the time

Overall, my biggest challenge was trying to "qualify" women who would actually be able to tell me the time pretty quickly. It feels like 98% of women are talking on the phone or walking with another guy, so I looked for girls who either had watches or were holding their phone in their hand.

Lesson for the future: Stop giving a fuck about the outcome. The key to getting this done quickly — and likely having success going forward — is to focus on ME. Because at the end of the day, the drill really isn't about finding out the time.

 

[xzestyx]

AA Day 6

This weekend I took myself on a much-needed solo retreat upstate. I thought it'd be sweet to do the drills in a different town, but I took for granted that most places don't have people just crawling all over... never gonna make excuses + take NYC for granted again lol.

While out of town, I matched with a younger girl from a nearby university. Got her number, and we made plans for a wine + movie date in my AirBnB for the following day. Texted her in the morning but didn't hear from or (or see her) all day. Felt like I did everything that I knew how to do right on my end, so can't complain too much about her flaking.

Coincidentally, one of my fwb's called me that night, and we had fun FaceTime sex full of dirty talk, giving her commands, and watching her cum.

Today’s drill:

1. Ask for the time
2. Ask for time + directions
3. Ask for time + directions + “Have you been there?”
4. Repeat steps 1-3 five times

Notes from first two sets:

* My biggest struggle is that so many girls are talking on the phone. I’ve decided that I’ll stop women walking with other men (and women walking in groups, of course) to relax + make it more fun. But ideally I’d love to be able to stop any girl I see.

* 2 sets = 6 women, though I’m curious how many women it ACTUALLY takes to complete the set. A lot of girls tell me the time while continuing to walk past me quickly before I can get the other questions in. I’ve found that approaching slower, from further back, and more directly in front yields better results. It makes me more confident + they seem more comfortable too (instead of some creepy guy side-tracking them).

* On a related note, it’s also difficult to ask “Have you been there?” if a girl responds to #2 with a “no/idk.” Should I just say it anyway? I guess the point of the drill isn’t really getting the time or directions — it’s having the freedom to say what I want to say regardless of the outcome.

Notes from last three sets:

* Got super distracted during my third set. Realized I kept asking everyone all 3 questions rather than working up to them. Then I started to get fatigued from the walk + let a lot of opportunities slip by me. THEN I saw a great writing desk on the curb + carried it over half a mile back to my apartment. (Lesson: Don’t forget your deadlifts + farmer’s carries in the gym!). After a quick re-center, I headed back out.

* Just super fatigued after the 4th set. Was out for nearly 4 hours and probably walked ~10 miles; ended up missing the 5th set AND my workout!

Conclusion:

Overall, people have been really friendly. Many literally stop whatever they’re doing + pull their phone out of their purse — and it’s no inconvenience at all. At the beginning of this drill I said “sorry” a few times this happened. By the end, I was more unapologetic about what I wanted.

Today’s drill was a good reminder that important part is the energy I’m putting out into the world. That’s what I can control, and that’s what people respond to.

I also need to do the drills a HELL of a lot faster.

 

[xzestyx]

AA Day 7

Today's drill:

1. Same as yesterday, but GET IN THERE.

Notes:

I keep striving to do all 5 sets in one day, even though I know I can technically pick up where I left off.

The thing is that I live in an area where there are young, hot, single women walking around outside, waiting to meet someone cool, literally all the time.

I should be able to complete 5 sets in 5 minutes.

Realistically though, I get really fatigued after the third set, completely lose focus, and find myself struggling to continue.

My biggest challenge with this drill is looking for that “permission” to ask all the questions. This leads to me talking to a lot more than 3 girls per set.

For instance, some girls continue to walk past quickly while giving me the time.

Some stop, but they’re not able to give me directions to wherever I ask.

So in order to fire off all three questions, I feel like I have to find someone who stops to give me the time AND can give me directions to a coffee shop near me, or whatever.

Didn’t expect to be having difficulty ALL-FUCKIN’-READY, but I guess that’s a sign that I’m doing the right thing by committing to this program!