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Thrice log. I need advice on how to move forward with a girl

Sounds great I noticed more strength in this post and also groundedness...interesting
 
I’ve used Phenibut. You could play with the dose, carefully of course, but everybody responds differently. Personally, I do get a sense of euphoria and music definitely sounds better, but it doesn’t really help me that much with approach anxiety. I also find alcohol does not help me that much either. Anyway, ime it’s not a silver bullet for approach anxiety but almost a non-factor. Although other people may have different experiences. Very fun substance, but you have to be careful with it.
 
I'm absolutely devastated, the summer is over, and I'm at zero lays. I feel like what could have been my best, enjoyable years are far behind me at 36. I tried tinder with boosts because a huge number of foreign girls in Italy, i wasted money on boosts just to get useless matches.

They treat like a lesser unimportant being, i ask them out, and they're like "when", "i will think about it", "i will let you know".

Some girls give me whatsup and stop answering after I ask them out. They absolutely don't care. They have sexual power and man easily available, so they're like all chill and in no hurry while I'm fighting for sex and affection.

This is all killing me inside, I'm not comfortable even looking at young girls having fun. The fact that they don't need us like we need them. Also, man create a technology to bring people together and women use it to get top 1% man.

Sometimes I don't sleep at night, I just lay in bed asking myself how tinder didn't red pill the entire male population.



When they're nice, I just think it's because my friend passes the look trash hold, and I think of how aggressive they would be if my friend wasn't handsome.





I feel trapped, I'm not a normie, but I'm not a successful non normie either.



Now I'm really saving money for a car and furniture for the house. I made new friends but no lays from social circle yet. I met new girls and wasn't able to stay in touch with them because my ig sucks. Another goal is to take good pictures and create a good ig i can give to girls. I have to look like a cool guy with hobbies and friends and my current ig is not there yet.

I'm working 2 jobs now because I really think a car is needed.
 
Crisis_Overcomer said:
Just go to the Philippines brother.
Click to expand...
I’m usually not one to advocate for this but I think this could actually be really good advice. Save up all you can for a few months, then go live there for a while and do whatever you want taking advantage of the totally skewed dating market (as well as currency exchange). Just the impact on inner game alone might be worth it.
 
Perseus said:
I’m usually not one to advocate for this but I think this could actually be really good advice. Save up all you can for a few months, then go live there for a while and do whatever you want taking advantage of the totally skewed dating market (as well as currency exchange). Just the impact on inner game alone might be worth it.
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i understand but validation from girls i dont even like...i don't even know if it would have any effect. I like girls from Amsterdam not philippines
 
I wasn't big on Filipinas either.

But when they start treating you like a king, calling you daddy/babe, inviting you out to meet their friends, show genuine interest in you, and it's clear they don't do it for the money, you can't help but like them.

I also hate pasta. Haven't eaten a dish in a decade. But if pasta was the only food available to me, I'd find ways to enjoy eating it.
 
Thrice said:
I'm absolutely devastated, the summer is over, and I'm at zero lays. I feel like what could have been my best, enjoyable years are far behind me at 36. I tried tinder with boosts because a huge number of foreign girls in Italy, i wasted money on boosts just to get useless matches.

They treat like a lesser unimportant being, i ask them out, and they're like "when", "i will think about it", "i will let you know".

Some girls give me whatsup and stop answering after I ask them out. They absolutely don't care. They have sexual power and man easily available, so they're like all chill and in no hurry while I'm fighting for sex and affection.

This is all killing me inside, I'm not comfortable even looking at young girls having fun. The fact that they don't need us like we need them. Also, man create a technology to bring people together and women use it to get top 1% man.

Sometimes I don't sleep at night, I just lay in bed asking myself how tinder didn't red pill the entire male population.



When they're nice, I just think it's because my friend passes the look trash hold, and I think of how aggressive they would be if my friend wasn't handsome.





I feel trapped, I'm not a normie, but I'm not a successful non normie either.



Now I'm really saving money for a car and furniture for the house. I made new friends but no lays from social circle yet. I met new girls and wasn't able to stay in touch with them because my ig sucks. Another goal is to take good pictures and create a good ig i can give to girls. I have to look like a cool guy with hobbies and friends and my current ig is not there yet.

I'm working 2 jobs now because I really think a car is needed.
Click to expand...

First off, if Tinder makes you feel that way, quit it. It's a known fact Tinder harms men self-esteem; if it's hurting you there's no reason to use it.

Second, if you're chronically unhappy, you should pause game and work on yourself. Find stuff that you like doing and that make you feel like you're becoming the man you want to be. Being unhappy and persisting in game is recipe for disaster.

Another suggestion, something maybe not for everyone but that works for me: if you're feeling alone and unattractive, embrace it. My internal monologue goes: "Yeah punk, no girl loves you, no girl is coming to save you, you'll never be with the kind of girl you want to be with. Whatcha gonna do about it, you gonna go home, jerk off porn and cry yourself to sleep?" On me that monologue wipes off any self-pity, and makes me feel like girls are no longer an objective, let alone a failed objective, and I can focus on other stuff that matters to me.

Last but not least: work on your social skills. Learn to make friends off social events, talk to people at cafe just for the heck of it. Read "The Charisma Myth", apply what you read there and correct any behavior that impedes you making social relationships. That's working on game that feels the least like working on game, anything you learn on that front will help you when you get back at it.
 
Thrice said:
I'm absolutely devastated, the summer is over, and I'm at zero lays. I feel like what could have been my best, enjoyable years are far behind me at 36. I tried tinder with boosts because a huge number of foreign girls in Italy, i wasted money on boosts just to get useless matches.

They treat like a lesser unimportant being, i ask them out, and they're like "when", "i will think about it", "i will let you know".

Some girls give me whatsup and stop answering after I ask them out. They absolutely don't care. They have sexual power and man easily available, so they're like all chill and in no hurry while I'm fighting for sex and affection.

This is all killing me inside, I'm not comfortable even looking at young girls having fun. The fact that they don't need us like we need them. Also, man create a technology to bring people together and women use it to get top 1% man.

Sometimes I don't sleep at night, I just lay in bed asking myself how tinder didn't red pill the entire male population.



When they're nice, I just think it's because my friend passes the look trash hold, and I think of how aggressive they would be if my friend wasn't handsome.





I feel trapped, I'm not a normie, but I'm not a successful non normie either.



Now I'm really saving money for a car and furniture for the house. I made new friends but no lays from social circle yet. I met new girls and wasn't able to stay in touch with them because my ig sucks. Another goal is to take good pictures and create a good ig i can give to girls. I have to look like a cool guy with hobbies and friends and my current ig is not there yet.

I'm working 2 jobs now because I really think a car is needed.
Click to expand...
You talk about your successes in online dating and not about the big picture, therefore I will only address the first topic:

First of all, you have a good looking face. the problem will be your "presentation" aka the pics, the vibe and so on. There are men who look significantly worse than you, but present themselves well and have solid success.

I haven't read your whole log, but do you have pictures of your account/could you share the link?
 
Thrice, its the mind issues, believe me.

You are handsome, and I would say, more attractive than myself. But the break points you have, are your inner game - same as me.

You can improve.

I did, and in less than a year, I tripled my lay count, while you are struggling with breaking through.

Embrace proper help, commit to a game plan, and start progressing on the REAL issues.

You are doing your best and I praise you for it.

Even hardcases can win.

I have dated professional models, and been on the odd date here and there with world champion athletes, influencers, shit like that.

It CAN be done.

The mind is the primary issue with hardcases. And it requires specific interventions to begin to heal.

It took me going through 4 therapists and specialists to find my current psychologist who helped me a lot. You have to go on your own journey with this.

Is there anything you'd like to ask me or is there anything I can do to help?

-Ravi
 
TonyV said:
Last but not least: work on your social skills. Learn to make friends off social events, talk to people at cafe just for the heck of it. Read "The Charisma Myth", apply what you read there and correct any behavior that impedes you making social relationships. That's working on game that feels the least like working on game, anything you learn on that front will help you when you get back at it.
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thats what i'm doing, already met friends and girls in clubs, I just need a good ig page to keep in touch
MakingAComeback said:
The mind is the primary issue with hardcases. And it requires specific interventions to begin to heal.

It took me going through 4 therapists and specialists to find my current psychologist who helped me a lot. You have to go on your own journey with this.
Click to expand...
last time I tried a traditional therapist I paid him 100euro/hour for him to tell me that me wanting to have sex with girls is the consequence of patriarchal social pressure. Through the years I developed the idea that if you're not a normie the tools that work for normies won't work for you. I might be wrong so I don't know
Vamos said:
I haven't read your whole log, but do you have pictures of your account/could you share the link?
Click to expand...
tinder.com

Tinder | Dating, Make Friends & Meet New People

With 55 billion matches to date, Tinder® is the world’s most popular dating app, making it the place to meet new people.
tinder.com tinder.com
I used to have matches the first year, like 400 matches and than it all stopped. Not only that but now the girls I matched are timewasters looking for cheap validation
 
"last time I tried a traditional therapist I paid him 100euro/hour for him to tell me that me wanting to have sex with girls is the consequence of patriarchal social pressure. Through the years I developed the idea that if you're not a normie the tools that work for normies won't work for you. I might be wrong so I don't know"

Unfortunately, proper psychological help is hard to find.

Most approaches I appraised, and books, resources, etc, were useless.

I went through 4 therapists, healers, and mindset experts, before reaching one who began to help me.

We can help you on the forum to the best of our ability but often times you have to invest and take it dead serious for anything to work.

I'll share what helped me:

-Bringing awareness to thoughts, narratives, stories, and just not engaging in them anymore.
-Understanding my thinking and psychology and working on being structured in life, to have more focus on practical and actionable things.

Getting wrapped up in your mind, your emotions, your thoughts, and introspecting into them, for most, will make things 10 x worse. Especially if you're not a normie. I'm not a normie.

You can't suffer, be miserable, and do the work to build a better life.

It takes a lot of work, consistency, and focus, and you have to truly want it.

Your head will build up supreme pressure and induce depression and lack of motivation if your psychology is bad.

I am keen to help you and others on the forums, but I just need to understand how I can do so. I will release all the recordings I have with my own psychologist, for free, here, in due course.

Also, getting too wrapped up in dating and outcomes, is going to produce a lot of pain. You have to let go of that and move on with your life. Just do dating like an objective process, take action, and leave it be. Don't think about it as you move through life. It will produce too much pain.

The stories, the narratives, the underlying toxicity, is what rots us.

Spreading out energies out and into life, heals us.

Do more. Engage with life more. Build an overall fun and stimulating life of action.

And stop your own mental patterns of destruction.

People like you, would really benefit from the mindset call I do each month with my guys, which are mostly business clients. But I wonder if there is a way I can do something for the forums and other guys.

Perhaps a monthly Winner Within live stream, where the guys can get free coaching from the mods.

I just got back to the forum after 2 months of deep inner work. Let me settle back in and catch up with some things.

We'll find a way dude.

-Ravi
 
Thrice said:
tinder.com

Tinder | Dating, Make Friends & Meet New People

With 55 billion matches to date, Tinder® is the world’s most popular dating app, making it the place to meet new people.
tinder.com tinder.com
I used to have matches the first year, like 400 matches and than it all stopped. Not only that but now the girls I matched are timewasters looking for cheap validation
Click to expand...
Hey, I'll be honest, because that's the only thing that will help you. Please don't see it as an attack, but as an opportunity to improve:

You actually have an extremely attractive face, awesome bone structure, full head of hair, Chad level BUT why do you present yourself like a 14 year old skater boy? You are a 36 year old grown man! Iron Maiden shirt, baseball cap backwards, holding the sakteboard like an emo child. Come on...
Present yourself like an adult man, you Italians usually have such a good style. And get that neck tattoo removed asap

You have all the genetic and optical attributes, the problem is inside you! Get your shit together and your life will be amazing! Don't throw away your potential :)
 
Vamos said:
And get that neck tattoo removed asap
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There's no problem with a neck tattoo. Plenty of extremely sexy Italian men covered in tattoos up until their 60s and slaying.

The rest is good advice, the photos are somewhat infantilized. They were a good start, but they need a major update.

Like this:

Tinder Photos & Inspiration – Andy Wells

killyourinnerloser.com killyourinnerloser.com

Tinder Profile & Setup Archives - Playing With Fire

Enhance and optimize your tinder profile to get more matches.
www.playingfire.com www.playingfire.com
 
Vamos said:
You are a 36 year old grown man! Iron Maiden shirt, baseball cap backwards, holding the sakteboard like an emo child. Come on...
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thats the way i like to dress, i'm gonna get another neck tattoo and a full sleeve. Imagine telling someone that he has to remove the neck tattoo "asap" lol. I'm a grown man who likes to dress like that. You just have a boring white shirt, is this your "grown man style"?
MakingAComeback said:
Perhaps a monthly Winner Within live stream, where the guys can get free coaching from the mods.
Click to expand...
i think it would be great, it will make the forums more active. Also, I would to hear your therapy sessions, I'm very curious about that too, I don't have an example of a good therapy session with a therapist that's not just spitting politically correct "wisdom". Thanks for the advice! will try to write down my negative thought patterns so to avoid engaging with them even when my brain would like me to
 
pancakemouse said:
There's no problem with a neck tattoo. Plenty of extremely sexy Italian men covered in tattoos up until their 60s and slaying.
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Sure, it depends on which women you want to attract, We can't attract all types of women anyway. Maybe I'm speaking too much from my own perspective, since my focus is on educated academics with gf potential. Also when it comes to career options and so on. But again, I'm speaking from my perspective not universal for everyone.

Thrice said:
thats the way i like to dress, i'm gonna get another neck tattoo and a full sleeve. Imagine telling someone that he has to remove the neck tattoo "asap" lol. I'm a grown man who likes to dress like that. You just have a boring white shirt, is this your "grown man style"?
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If that's how you want to dress and present yourself, then that's totally fine, go for it! But you have to live with the consequences.
 
Vamos said:
If that's how you want to dress and present yourself, then that's totally fine, go for it! But you have to live with the consequences.
Click to expand...
and you dont know what are these consequences, as you don't have any style or archetype, just normal shirt and pants. I didn't read your log lately, but if you're getting hot 19yos I would dress like you even if I don't like it but not sure if it makes a huge difference. You are dressed normal and it will attract older woman 27+ I think
 
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