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175 Days Left till 2023.

Day 25: important day and soon coming up on 30days.!! A major headache regards to my car is done today. Never in the future will I make the same mistake of doing things last minute again.

Today, already filled up on calories due to sweets. So, fasting the next 12 hours. Give me the power.. !!!

Work: documents, prototype..
Body: gym today..
Start getting things sorted for the trip.. plan the next week in project.
 
Stop buying and bringing junk food into your home. If you need something sweet, try having some fruits and/or gum.
 
day 26:
slow start for a day. but full of good thoughts and not engaging my negativity.
I think going to the gym even after a bad day/diet helped.

today, feels like I have control over my diet and life. will make it as productive as can be,

thanks for the advice Vice.

damn, I love being here.. some of the community posts just send me over a positive edge.
a good problem that I have been having the past days is I am spending time on reading some of these men's daily logs.
Inspiring.
 
Guess who is back mothafckaaaaaaass..!!
I just got done with the vacation days and got back to normalcy.
Time to get back into the groove.

I will start posting regularly from tomorrow. Excited to be back..!!
 
Guess who didnt do what they said they will..
things were put on hold while I dragged every day with not useful things.

but, it is a fresh month and therefore I am back. new slate. goals are the same. accountability is back on the menu..!!

To do :
Gym,
Write,
Job application.
 
hey,
I didnt want to post before I made what I deem considerable progress on my physique. During July-August I was on a journey that didnt make much sense then. But, looking back I think I had chosen my vices more than my strengths. I was sort of in a LDR situation right until August end when she broke up with me. I knew then I was not going to feel bad about letting her go but about the lack of me being able to decide on my relationships. So, the mourning phase didnt last that long and that I could find a person of my choosing if I work for it. That was my intention when I posted on 1st of Sep.

What have I done from then?
brought back BW to 77kilos. have gone to gym consistenly and have had my diet dialed in (Goal weight: 65 kilos).
have avoided porn and that seemed to clear my mind.

What I experience now is a lack of mental motivation towards my job.
It s not fulfilling anymore and I find myself procrastinate a lot because my skills are not par for what I am expected to do.
my financial goals are still unanswered as well.
So, I am thinking of finding a new one with higher salary.
although, I dream of new job it doesn't seem to motivate me enough to actually apply for one.

adding to it, my dream physique will take the rest of the year to achieve.
I want to continue going this path of healthy intense workouts.
I am starting to see the effort I spend in gym rewarding.
I wanna feel the same way for my job search.

Any ideas?
 
You cannot control motivation in the same way as determination. Neither can you rely on motivation to reach your goals because the feeling always goes away.

You have to look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Do you have the character to do the things you have to do despite not feeling like it? Can you handle adversity?

Most people are only able to work hard when they feel motivated and will throw it all away once the feeling dies, hence these people stay average.

Remember that you earn exactly what you deserve to earn. If you feel like you deserve more, you’ll have to prove it by taking action and changing the situation
 
gettingoutofcomfortzone said:
hey,
I didnt want to post before I made what I deem considerable progress on my physique. During July-August I was on a journey that didnt make much sense then. But, looking back I think I had chosen my vices more than my strengths. I was sort of in a LDR situation right until August end when she broke up with me. I knew then I was not going to feel bad about letting her go but about the lack of me being able to decide on my relationships. So, the mourning phase didnt last that long and that I could find a person of my choosing if I work for it. That was my intention when I posted on 1st of Sep.

What have I done from then?
brought back BW to 77kilos. have gone to gym consistenly and have had my diet dialed in (Goal weight: 65 kilos).
have avoided porn and that seemed to clear my mind.

What I experience now is a lack of mental motivation towards my job.
It s not fulfilling anymore and I find myself procrastinate a lot because my skills are not par for what I am expected to do.
my financial goals are still unanswered as well.
So, I am thinking of finding a new one with higher salary.
although, I dream of new job it doesn't seem to motivate me enough to actually apply for one.

adding to it, my dream physique will take the rest of the year to achieve.
I want to continue going this path of healthy intense workouts.
I am starting to see the effort I spend in gym rewarding.
I wanna feel the same way for my job search.

Any ideas?
Click to expand...

Same advice I gave another member. I'd keep it sustainable like you did with gym. Three tailored applications a day. That's all you need. It's only 1.5 hours a day and can do serious work for you.
 
shit shit shit..!! what a bad waster of time sunday was. MY diet got fucked. my work didnt get done.
had too much time wasted with things I wont ever do.
need today to get back again.

why is that JUST WHEN IT STARTS to get going good, I FCK UP?
I am so close to ruining my progress. I am scared boys.
Need to remedy this today.
My mind is not working with me in Tandem.
My mind is seeking that comfort zone.
IT doesnt want to get out.
FCK.
 
gettingoutofcomfortzone said:
shit shit shit..!! what a bad waster of time sunday was. MY diet got fucked. my work didnt get done.
had too much time wasted with things I wont ever do.
need today to get back again.

why is that JUST WHEN IT STARTS to get going good, I FCK UP?
I am so close to ruining my progress. I am scared boys.
Need to remedy this today.
My mind is not working with me in Tandem.
My mind is seeking that comfort zone.
IT doesnt want to get out.
FCK.
Click to expand...

Beating yourself up will only make you want to quit.

You made a mistake, sure. Remember how this feels and then let it go. Forgive yourself. Relax. You're on the right path. When you're ready, pick yourself back up and keep walking, you've got this.
 
MILFandCookies said:
You made a mistake, sure. Remember how this feels and then let it go. Forgive yourself. Relax. You're on the right path. When you're ready, pick yourself back up and keep walking, you've got this.
Click to expand...

Thanks man. That sure helped progress until I spontaneously went and over fed during the evening.
all the while knowing and keep on telling myself that I will regret it.

I will get back in order. In fact, yesterdays chaos helped today to steer back my progress.
Feeble mind sometimes has the drive to post and be correct. And other times, wants to not put the effort in.
How funny that one day you want it 150% and other day you dont care for it.
I cant afford to be spontaneous.

positives:
.Successful full day fast today. Will do 2 more days because I ate like 5000cals worth junk. I will break the fast with proper protein rich food on Friday.
.went to gym and I can see progress in my upper body. Still at +30%BF. It is a marathon but I have a specific target that I am working towards. will post before/after pics by 30th Sep.
.still on Nofap. I think it is a good placebo. I need to start using it for self-improvement. listen to motivational podcasts or videos.

Negatives:
.procrastination in applying for jobs.(Highly irritated at myself even though I have a cover and CV ready to go)
.unable to work without a high degree of rest.(superficial and I wouldnt hire me with this kind of work ethic)

Action Points for tomorrow:
-apply for one-three jobs(post pics).
-goto GYM(post proof).
-do proper 8-5 work.

I am not comfortable where I am - this is pain but this is proof I am changing.
I am worried for my future - it is pain but this is proof I am changing.
I loathe being alone - it is pain but this is proof I am changing.
Pain is good.
I want nothing but pain.[/b]

It just might be that the fear of another day lost while going to sleep makes my heart passionate and motivated.
Maybe this drive will burn to pieces in my sleep.
But, I shall be here tomorrow evening and I would have done what I promised today.

-Ashwin.

-------------------------------------

Cranking my neck at the number of steps and I see a long climb ahead.
I wanted to be one amongst you. I must trust the process to getting there.
 
Failed flawlessly at both goals. didnt go to gym, didnt apply for jobs.
but found out my year old understand myself report.

guess what? I am exceptionally high for neuroticism with very high withdrawal and exceptionally high (higher than withdrawal) for volatility.
in simple words, I give up easy and badly affected by negative emotions.
this should scare me, right?


but I am positive and feel euphoric at this revelation.
the next time, my mind says to quit and I will have the ammo ready.

I need to keep going and start doing the opposite of what my mind wants.

There were a couple more things that I want to address. I will soon follow in the next post.
 
gettingoutofcomfortzone said:
I am not comfortable where I am - this is pain but this is proof I am changing.
I am worried for my future - it is pain but this is proof I am changing.
I loathe being alone - it is pain but this is proof I am changing.
Pain is good.
I want nothing but pain.[/b]
Click to expand...

What I have found out is Pain due to being in action is important and valid.
Pain due to inaction and idleness is unnecessary and invalid.

I have to keep the former and eliminate latter. How do I do this ?

I had a conversation with my dad. I am thankful for that.
As someone who had seen me grow up for the last 3 decades, it was a candid honest open talk.

He knows my intelligence but questions my decisions.
He says I am clear in my words but still confused in my heart.
I am taking this comment to my grave.

My lack of clarity in what I want is being questioned. and it is the same scenario with my brother. I dont have to prove anything to my family. But, I am looking into a world of sorrow, if I dont act on things that they have highlighted.

I want actions. I want them fast. This website and forum is going to be my only solace going forward. what that means in terms of actions?

I am going to finish part of JPs authoring program today (atleast one section of it).
I will apply for a couple of jobs today.
I will go to the gym.(created a new log. post pics).
I will plan for next week work.

I took natedawg word file and I have started customizing it to my own needs. I will have it posted here today.

I also have a task manager tool that I gave up on due to holidays. I will dust it up and set a measurable short time goal(30th Sep).

Should I go out and approach tomorrow? or should I stay here and look at screen tomorrow?
I wanna fix today and decide.
 
gettingoutofcomfortzone said:
gettingoutofcomfortzone said:
I am not comfortable where I am - this is pain but this is proof I am changing.
I am worried for my future - it is pain but this is proof I am changing.
I loathe being alone - it is pain but this is proof I am changing.
Pain is good.
I want nothing but pain.[/b]
Click to expand...

What I have found out is Pain due to being in action is important and valid.
Pain due to inaction and idleness is unnecessary and invalid.

I have to keep the former and eliminate latter. How do I do this ?

I had a conversation with my dad. I am thankful for that.
As someone who had seen me grow up for the last 3 decades, it was a candid honest open talk.

He knows my intelligence but questions my decisions.
He says I am clear in my words but still confused in my heart.
I am taking this comment to my grave.

My lack of clarity in what I want is being questioned. and it is the same scenario with my brother. I dont have to prove anything to my family. But, I am looking into a world of sorrow, if I dont act on things that they have highlighted.

I want actions. I want them fast. This website and forum is going to be my only solace going forward. what that means in terms of actions?

I am going to finish part of JPs authoring program today (atleast one section of it).
I will apply for a couple of jobs today.
I will go to the gym.(created a new log. post pics).
I will plan for next week work.

I took @natedawg word file and I have started customizing it to my own needs. I will have it posted here today.

I also have a task manager tool that I gave up on due to holidays. I will dust it up and set a measurable short time goal(30th Sep).

Should I go out and approach tomorrow? or should I stay here and look at screen tomorrow?
I wanna fix today and decide.
Click to expand...

Good stuff dude.

Any kind of action is better than doing nothing. You'll gain more clarity during the process - not before.

Go crush it brother.
 
Yeah, I hope so.
At this point, I just have to see only by acting.

I came across something profound.

Choices may be decided easily, but harder to act.

My mental coping mechanism makes choices that deem to be clear.
It is only by doing I can understand the benefits/shortcoming.
 
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