Advice for a noob on 5th date

[MostlyAloof]

So I'm pretty much brand new to dating, I've waited far too long trying to 'perfect' myself prior to dating.
One day I suddenly began getting matches on dating apps, for reasons unbeknownst to me.
Never had any real success in the past on apps.

A girl finally met me for a date which lead to a second date.
(though as of now, I've had 4 dates with her).
So far it has been kinda lackluster, despite me consistently going further each time.

I kissed her on the 2nd date.
We kissed a few times on the 3rd date.
On this last date we kissed a lot and I touched her many times non-sexually. Her body posture seemed pretty defensive, like she wanted to shield herself from being touched sexually. We did this in her car.


I could really use some solid advice, because neither of us have a place to take the other for seclusion/sex (we both have relatives at home).

I need to suggest to her a date that will get us completely alone. I don't think anyone wants to be invited over to a hotel room for a date, so I really need to figure out a place where I can advance things.

I don't know what I'm doing and I've never had sex.

I need to sleep with her....I need to

 

[Aku]

Hey dude first of all just wanted to say that those are some juicy forearms you have,

Good work on taking action.

I'm gonna be honest in your case the logistics are shit. You need to fix that shit ASAP.

Maybe speak with your relatives and try to have the place to yourself for a few hours or something. Or you'll have to get creative I guess. Fuck in the back of the car in nature after a hike? Lol. For a first time it's more ideal to have a comfortable place I think.

On this last date we kissed a lot and I touched her many times non-sexually. Her body posture seemed pretty defensive, like she wanted to shield herself from being touched sexually. We did this in her car.

I don't see how you can touch a girl non-sexually while making out with her.

I think you need to be more assertive and have better communication.

You're attracted to her. You want her. Make her feel that way. Don't be shy about it.

While you make out, try getting more touchy. With her hips, her ass, her tits. Kiss her neck. Tell her how she turns you on.

If you're both horny normally you enter this "okay so how are we make this happen now" problem-solving mindset.

If she's defensive or you feel like you're doing something wrong, just talk to her. "How are you feeling?" "If there's anything I do you that don't like just let me know"

Be clear with your intentions.

I need to sleep with her....I need to

That sounds really needy. I understand, you don't have experience and you really want her. It happens to me too.

If she wants it to happen and you want it to happen, then I see no reason while it would not happen as long as you make the moves.

If for some reason after this many dates she doesn't want to have sex then she's just boring and there's a lot of girls out there willing to bang you on the 1st date.

 

[Antonio44]

I don't think anyone wants to be invited over to a hotel room for a date

if you're really worried about this, just tell her "let's go for a trip", then go to the hotel as an experience, what girl doesn't love a night away in a hotel.

 

[MostlyAloof]

Thank you, but honestly my forearms are my least impressive muscles. Veiny though, yes.

I've thought about the hiking sex thing. It sounds good but I'd still have to figure out how to touch her sexually, because hiking itself isn't going to get her in the mood.

My relative could leave for awhile, but my home is mostly without furniture cuz my family is barbaric. She assumes I'm fairly well off financially so it would be confusing.

I can't get her to make out yet. I've never made out and it drives me insane that I can't have that at least. I don't know how to turn kissing into making out. Making out may be strange for her inside of her car. (Public).
Would it be a horrible idea to let her know I live with a relative? Would that kill my chances completely?

 

[Aku]

My relative could leave for awhile, but my home is mostly without furniture cuz my family is barbaric. She assumes I'm fairly well off financially so it would be confusing.

Andy banged a lot of women when he had nothing but a matress on the ground.

My only furniture is my futton bed frame and my desk. Not a single girl has judged me for it. I just say I'm minimalist (It's true.) Or I joke about it. Idgaf, if a girl judges me for the furniture that I own she can fuck off.

You even say it's part of you culture... No need to be insecure about it. You worry too much about what she thinks.

I can't get her to make out yet. I've never made out and it drives me insane that I can't have that at least. I don't know how to turn kissing into making out.

Just take 15 min and check 1 or 2 how-to video on YouTube. It's like doing lot's of consecutive kisses. Keeping it slow, sensual, soft lips. Don't overthink it. Then accept the fact that you're gonna suck at the start and go for it. You don't need to be perfect. It's okay to be clumsy. We all started from there. It's inevitable.

Would it be a horrible idea to let her know I live with a relative? Would that kill my chances completely?

Again you worry too much about what she thinks.

I thought she already knew. You can bang girls at your place even with roomates. Imo I would just be honest. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

I think your best shot is talking to your relatives. I don't know anything about your life, but if you are on good terms they should undertand and try to help you out?

Then again I suggest you work towards having your own place. It makes things 100x easier.

It's just what I would do without knowing much of the context. Hope it way be helpful.

 

[MostlyAloof]

I really really wish I knew that.
I feel retarded now, I thought making out was French kissing/tongue.
Had no idea making out was supposed to be small kisses continuously. Had I known this I probably could have taken things much further.

Didn't know that girls don't care much about these things. Always saw my living situation as a deal breaker.

I've saved up half way to that goal, gonna move out asap.