Anyone want to discuss approaching?

[SamJ_]

My main goal is overcoming social anxiety in general primarily through cold approaching women. Been socially awkward pretty much my whole life and have been too proud to admit it was a problem til now. I want to chat with someone who has the same goals either on the phone or over the Internet and actually talk out loud about approaching/starting conversations with women. It's so hard to find guys who actually want to do this shit. The few friends I've talked to about it think it's creepy to approach women during the day and won't do it and a lot of people on the internet won't talk to me unless they're selling some "coaching" program and are just in it for the money. I wanna actually make a friend on here with the same goals so we can keep each other motivated and actually talk.

 

[l0vebone]

I don't know if this helps: but I went seriously hard on cold approaching girls, I dont think there was a single day where I approached less than 2 girls a day for about a year, usually it was in the 5-10 range though.

it did NOT cure my social anxiety. All it did was make me good at talking to girls and not have any approach anxiety.

If your goal is to lose your social anxiety, do activities where your social anxiety is spiked constantly until you learn to love the feeling of social anxiety. Approaching girls wont fix it.

 

[SamJ_]

I don't know if this helps: but I went seriously hard on cold approaching girls, I dont think there was a single day where I approached less than 2 girls a day for about a year, usually it was in the 5-10 range though.

it did NOT cure my social anxiety. All it did was make me good at talking to girls and not have any approach anxiety.

If your goal is to lose your social anxiety, do activities where your social anxiety is spiked constantly until you learn to love the feeling of social anxiety. Approaching girls wont fix it.

I'm not expecting it's gonna CURE my social anxiety, but I'm sure it will help a lot, especially since approaching girls in the daytime sober is probably the social activity that provokes the most anxiety for me.

 

[Toast]

I also highly second starting the AA program.

If your goal is to lose your social anxiety, do activities where your social anxiety is spiked constantly until you learn to love the feeling of social anxiety. Approaching girls wont fix it.

I agree with lOvebone that you should constantly induce anxiety so that you normalize being anxious. That's basically the bread and butter of AA, but I disagree that approaching girls will not fix it. If talking to girls is what gives you anxiety then that is exactly what you need to do to induce anxiety and over come the feeling of being anxious while talking to girls.

Your thoughts on curing AA by approaching girls is correct. The AA program may not CURE anxiety, but it will massively lessen it. Over time with a shit load of approaches it WILL become easier, but it may never go away completely. Even Chris from GLL says that his anxiety wasn't cured after AA, but the anxiety is massively lessened after the program. There will always be some level of anxiety when doing stressful things like approaching girls, but being able to understand why you have anxiety and being able to use it to your advantage is a benefit from the program.

I'm not trying to dissuade you from doing the AA program in the slightest. Just trying to give you a realistic view of what its like. My anxiety has been alleviated massively since doing the program. I had the same issue as you, and I wouldn't even consider in a million years going up to a 10/10 girl and calling them cute in broad daylight. After the program, you will have done that hundreds of times so it becomes somewhat easy.

On the topic of it being creepy, its only creepy if you make it creepy. If ur going up to girls acting like a weirdo then yah that's fuckin creepy. If you are approaching like a normal person and acting respectful then what's wrong about just talking to a girl? If a girl came up to you and said "hey, how's it going, I thought u were cute" that would probably make your day. Its the same for girls as well. They fuckin love that shit, most of the time, if they are mentally healthy adults. Generally girls don't get approached in this day and age, and if a good looking guy comes up to then to talk, most of the time they are happy that someone attractive wanted to talk to them.

You can read back through my log to get an idea of where I started and how I am now. I finished the program only 2 weeks ago.