Brandon Builds - Virtual Date w/ San Diego Girl

[Zug]

So my short list in order of importance is:

1. Non-starters: Feminine, Beauty, Submissive - if she doesn't have these she's not even on my radar.
2. Must haves:
   1. Respect (bare minimum is common courtesy)
   2. Open & non-judgmental (to sexuality, alternative relationship styles, and alternative lifestyles)
   3. Time prioritization - I don't expect sexual or emotional exclusivity, but I do expect to be made priority above other commitments (within reason)
   4. Willing to grow, growth mindset
   5. Healthy
   6. Honest, Vulnerable Communication style

Pretty good list, I agree with it all except #1. I've found that there are a lot of bratty girls that will fall into line when they see you're not a chump. I refused to get worked up by disrespect early, I've seen too many do a 180 here in record time. Guys that don't get butthurt are *RARE*, and when they encounter it they tend to re-evaluate pretty quickly.

One thing I'm wondering about is how you can build sufficiently deep relationships for some of your BDSM goals. Maybe I just needed more practice, but I haven't found the ability to get real submission out of a woman without an absurd level of trust in me. Getting her to push herself a little bit in the bedroom and participate in your personal weird kink is one thing, her giving you control over her life is something else entirely. Are you going into contracts with these women? Are you collaring them? What level of submission are they giving you that they won't give anyone else?

I'm not the jealous type, and I am prone to some validation seeking. I noticed I don't get much thrill from a woman submitting to me if she does it for every guy. Trying to get that level of submission seems almost incompatible with traditional polyamory though?

 

[Bman]

Pretty good list, I agree with it all except #1. I've found that there are a lot of bratty girls that will fall into line when they see you're not a chump. I refused to get worked up by disrespect early, I've seen too many do a 180 here in record time. Guys that don't get butthurt are *RARE*, and when they encounter it they tend to re-evaluate pretty quickly.

I have too. But I just don't want to put in the effort when I don't have to. Why deal with a bratty girl when she can get replaced with other sweet girls quickly? I just don't get joy from flipping a brat. It's really a big turn off. And nowadays, I don't have to if I don't want to.

One thing I'm wondering about is how you can build sufficiently deep relationships for some of your BDSM goals.

These are really good questions and points that I've been spinning my wheels a lot about lately. Because you are right on the money.

What I've come to now attempting to test is elevating the importance of the Dom/ sub titles in that if I'm going to be her "Dom" I'm her only Dom. She can have other partners, so on and so forth, but I'm the only one that has that level of control over her. Just from a purely logistical standpoint, if two people are making decisions for you its going to be a disaster because they will most likely oppose. So yes, I'll be treating it with more diligence with a contract and collar. In that regard, I'm likely to only have one, maybe two true submissives. Anyone else is pretty much just fuck buddy, I'm just being a Dom in the bedroom, type thing, which is what I've been operating as in the past anyway.

I realized something recently that most girls don't really care about the Dom/sub stuff, and when they say they want a Dom, they really just want someone more aggressive and assertive in the bedroom, pretty much a rough sex top. All the other stuff, they could happily do without. Only a few want to submit in the traditional sense. So for a select couple, I'm a Dom in fullest sense. For the rest, its just business as usual. I'm just fucking their brains out unlike other guys would.

 

[Zug]

I realized something recently that most girls don't really care about the Dom/sub stuff, and when they say they want a Dom, they really just want someone more aggressive and assertive in the bedroom, pretty much a rough sex top. All the other stuff, they could happily do without. Only a few want to submit in the traditional sense. So for a select couple, I'm a Dom in fullest sense. For the rest, its just business as usual. I'm just fucking their brains out unlike other guys would.

I have a hard time generalizing because my profile was pretty extra and filtered hard. Everyone who matched me was down for it in the bedroom.

Being a true submissive to me though? I don't know. I feel like that number is 0%. They just don't want that initially because it's unfathomable. Logistically speaking, most guys here would be down to immediately have some kinky sex with an attractive girl. If you change that to the women being their dominant though?

How many people have even thought about it ever? How few of those have tried to make it happen?

If I was single again, this is what I would want. I think I could probably convert most women with submissive tendencies if they were genuinely in love with me, trusted me, and believed I cared about their best interests. I don't know that you need to screen for super subs that hard, even if you want 24/7 TPE. It just takes longer.

 

[Bman]

Many things I could write about, but just popping in for a short update to say dating with status is still hands down my favorite way to date.

Had a couple dates this week, and since I'm busy, I just planned them around stuff I needed to get done anyways. Needed to get regular STD testing done, so had the girl meet me at the coffee shop a couple blocks down. When we met she said she contemplated asking if she could go with me to testing center so she could get done too, but didn't know if that was too weird. Lol I think it would have just been fun and different. Anyways, we're going to shoot content together later this month.

The real fun one was this evening. She was from Feeld, new to the scene, and she had mentioned she wanted to go to some munches, but she wasn't sure if she was ready yet. Well I had pitched some days, Friday being one of them, and then once she said Friday would work, totally remembered I had to lead a munch that night. So said fuck it, told her I lead a bunch, and needed to lead one that night, if she had the courage, she could join me.

She got out of work late, so she was going to show up 30 mins after the start time. When I'm in leader mode, I often move around and mingle, make sure everyone is having a good time and being friendly. Except today I knew my date was coming, so I just sat on top of one of the tables and let people come to me. 10 minutes before my date shows up, I'm in conversation with a group of 3 women standing around me, and then eventually just one on one with the most attractive of the 3 in salsa/ dancing type sundress, good looking, just not as attractive as my date. Anyways, the woman is talking about something to do with consent & touching with my co-leader, and basically does this demo of like walking towards me and hugging me, which I reciprocate, and right on cue as this woman is hanging onto my body, my date walks in with direct view. I finish holding this woman, then turn to my date as she walks up and immediately go to hug her. The timing could not have been more perfect.

My co-leader was the spokesperson for the night, so I could just sit and connect with my date. Pretty easy for me to be fully present with someone even when lots is going on around. So I didn't really notice much of other people, but every once in a while would have someone touch my arm, and say hello. Then halfway through the munch we do a discussion circle, and we often tell the owner to turn the music down. Instead, the owner came up to me while I was chatting with my date, asked me if I wanted him to turn the music down. I said yes. Then I motioned my co-leader over to me, told her to get the discussion circle going (which means rallying like 35-50 people in a big circle) and then took my date to the one side of the circle. Then of course my co-leader starts, calls me out as one of the other leaders, and we do our thing. Afterwards my date and I vibe till the munch ends, and I walk out with her while others are still mingling. Which everyone seen me vibing with this woman the whole night and then walking out with her when she barley spoke with anyone else.

She was all but blatantly inviting herself, but I told she had to wait, because I can. I can get good sleep and invite over on my time. I'm getting up tomorrow to go to the Ren Faire (never been so new experience) with one of my girls and her friends tomorrow. This new girl is not going anywhere. We made out before leaving and she is such a wonderful kisser. Good times.

Curious if I'll get some residuals from the little pre-selection. Seriously, go find your niche in some social scene and put in the work to be someone in that scene. You'll thank yourself later.

 

[Bman]

Update​

Today's my birthday. When I was younger I used to feel really hurt if someone forgot my birthday. Now that I'm older, I'm ok if someone I thought who would remember it was my birthday, doesn't. I don't expect people, too. Instead, I just really cherish all those who do. It's very heartwarming to get messages and videos from close friends and past and current girls, especially when they express gratitude for being in their life.

Here's a few updates on things:

OG OF Girl completely flaked. It was somewhat to be expected. Most likely she was looking for a rebound, was riding hormones when she texted, and then not later in the week. Found it disrespectful though, so I didn't even bother finding out why. Truthfully just wanted the lay for satisfying the ego.

This new girl is not going anywhere

Lol. You have better chances of day trading in the stock market than you do guessing if you'll see a woman again. Ghosted. Guess I should have pulled on the first date. Oh well, her loss.

A few factors that I've noticed that influence if I'd like to pull on the first day as opposed to having a date, and then having her come over later, is:

• If you have any struggles with her schedule, like finding a day/time or having to reschedule a lot, pull on the first because the likelihood of aligning schedules again is low
• If she is parent or has a primary partner, pull on the first because other humans introduce to much chaos in logistics for another encounter
• If she lives an hour out of town, pull on the first because it will be difficult to get her to drive in again

Now something to be said for doing the second meet over the first is I think if you have a date with her that went well (meaning you didn't fuck anything up and could have pulled on the first if you wanted), and she ghosts/flakes for a second meeting, my hypothesis is she might have ghosted after fucking her anyways. So your essentially filtering out ONS. No hard evidence for this, just an educated hypothesis right now.

Met up with a girl to do educational content with for the brand

Had this girl scheduled today, even paid for reservation for an AirBnB. Then I checked in with her on Friday and she said something came up and she won't be able to be here for today. Models are even flakier than dates. Wasn't really sour about it. Annoyed I lost a little money in the reservation for canceling close to the date, but it happens.

Book Girl: New girl that pulled from Hinge in my post being pissed off from Swing Girl. She's super sweet, very pretty, blonde, blue-eyed, and little nerdy which is cute.

Been doing a true D/s dynamic with this girl and been treating her more as partner. However she knows and is ok with me being non-monogamous. She's monogamous to me (by her choice - I told her she's free to see and sleep with other people but she doesn't want to) but is opening up to the idea of doing threesomes with other girls. We've been slowly adding more of what I have control over.

She actually comes to the gym with me, and we have spent pretty much every Saturday together since we started dating. I met a bunch of her friends going to the Ren Faire, and she came with me to Shrine last weekend. It's been fulfilling to be able to do the more couple stuff together and to also get deeper into D/s. We made a whole weekend out the Shrine weekend and had some pretty elaborate sex sessions. But it also feels awesome to be totally honest with her that I'm seeing other people, shooting porn, or whatever else I want to do. She said she's ok with me doing all those things because I'm honest, I explain them to her, and I'm not emotionally reserved.

It was funny taking her with me to Shrine. I made her wear a skimpy, short red dress to match my red attire. She showed up 15 mins before my shift was done, so I told her to go wait inside. Apparently she got approached by two guys in those 15 minutes alone, one of them still chatting with her when I walked up. With the other guy, she just mentioned my name and said she was with me and apparently he left her alone.

She doesn't really like guys approaching her because it happens a lot and she doesn't feel safe. She goes to the gym with me because she doesn't like going to busy, full gyms because she says guys watch her and that she's been followed out of the gym before, to the point that the guy knocked on her window and wouldn't take a hint when she told him to leave. It's been interesting hearing her perspective about being approached as a woman.

She has been the sweetest and completely compliant, almost zero friction with rules set for her, boundaries, or integrating with my lifestyle. And quite enjoyable to be around. If you ever wondered why I don't find flipping a maybe girl or taming a brat that fun, this is the reason. I just enjoy a girl who's completely into me more. I go battle dragons all day. I don't want to battle her when I get home.

AskTheDom and I meet every couple weeks about the book.

And that book is almost available for pre-order! There are so many bureaucratic hoops you have to jump through that I didn't really think about when we started the book. But, we will soon have a physical and ebook self-published book in all major retailer's catalogues, even got a notification this morning that the ebook is now listed in Barnes & Nobles. Pretty cool.

One last mentioning - couple dates scheduled this week. One I'm pretty excited for is a girl that I found out was in my college town for a couple of the same years as me, and grew up in the PNW. She was a bartender at one of the popular bars, which you have to be hot to be a bartender there. I think I'm just excited about the common history, which is not something I've had with anyone here per se. She reached out to me on FetLife after reading a bunch of my writings, so she's already prescreened. Even texted me happy birthday today. Sweet girl

 

[Akilles7]

Today's my birthday.

Happy birthday King. Appreciate having u around on the forum. Your posts have been instructive and fascinating, even though I’m not into the whole Fetlife scene. Wishing u success and prosperity G.

 

[Holden]

Happy birthday. I used to do the whole two-date model but when you screen more actively (Fet/Feeld = screened) it's not really necessarily I think. Even then, I still pulled if it felt right (which was like 70% of the time)

If they have primary partners you just need to move as fast as possible. They're not "normal" girls in the sense that you have to do things a bit differently (at least that's what I've noticed)

 

[Bman]

Thank you @Akilles7 & @Holden!

I used to do the whole two-date model but when you screen more actively (Fet/Feeld = screened) it's not really necessarily I think. Even then, I still pulled if it felt right (which was like 70% of the time)

Yeah I've just wanted to give the two-date model on honest try. Nowadays, I just go for whatever feels right or is jiving with my the rest of my schedule. Book girl I pulled on the first, just purely because I wanted to fuck that night.

Whole heartedly agree on the primary partner ones. Just be speedy before anyone changes their mind or the "hall pass" gets revoked.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

@Bman

Happy birthday Bman! Appreciate you and the value you bring to the forums

Spider

 

[Ryval]

Happy birthday!

 

[Brother_Tucker]

Happy birthday, cheers for all the words of wisdom you share!

 

[Zug]

Now something to be said for doing the second meet over the first is I think if you have a date with her that went well (meaning you didn't fuck anything up and could have pulled on the first if you wanted), and she ghosts/flakes for a second meeting, my hypothesis is she might have ghosted after fucking her anyways. So your essentially filtering out ONS. No hard evidence for this, just an educated hypothesis right now.

My thoughts on this are a little different. AFAICT, if at anytime she wanted to fuck or expected to fuck, and you didn't, and you could have through taking the lead and/or solving logistics, you're not going to see her again.

The most important part of that statement is that if has A LOT to do with what you and your profile communicated to her prior to the date.

If your profile is fuckboi and she came out to get some dick, but you had a great date with chemistry, touch, and kissing.... but no sex. You lost.

If you want to run a 2-3 date model, then she really needs to have some way of getting that expectation prior to even accepting the first date request. The communication doesn't need to be and probably shouldn't be explicit, but she has to have a realistic way of understanding your intentions.

Anything else is a failure of your leadership.

If you're taking newbies on a hike and leading them. It's your responsibility to ensure they get the proper shoes, outerwear, and anything else they need to bring. They're new, you're the leader, it's your job to prepare them.

Dominance is leadership, and leadership is a pain in the ass. I know you know all this already @Bman , just wanted to point it out to others facing similar issues.

Don't run a 2-3 date model on a girl who got dressed up tonight because she wanted to have sex. It's that simple.

@PinchePendejo is the one who finally woke me up to this. Imagine a girl coming over directly to your house for a booty call. No amount of good banter, sexual chemistry, or making out is going to make that a good experience without sex.

You won't want to call her over for a second booty call that doesn't include booty, and this is no different for women.

 

[Holden]

Yeah that makes sense. I made it very clear beforehand the first date was just one hour, during the afternoon, and if I didn't go for the pull anyway, I made sure the date was really just one hour long and then I ended it.

 

[Bman]

@Zug actually this is a good reminder for me because looking back, all the successful lays using 2 dates, I made it clear beforehand and set expectations. I didn't do that for the aforementioned date above, so that was a failure on my part. Agreed on everything you said.

Thank you @Brother_Tucker @Spider Jerusalem @Ryval for the birthday wishes

 

[Self Improver]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAM!

Love you and the community here

My heart is still in this place. I must grow my startup and my hours are nuts, I am sure you understand

But I will return, I will stay true to my promises and we will build a legendary community that serves men.

You are the man, we appreciate you.

 

[Upstart]

Happy Belated Bday Bman!

I really like what you said in your first post. I think exactly like this.
I used to think I had to give up one goal for another, but I know there's gotta be a way for each goal to feed into each other.

I believe in finding ways that all your goals are intertwined so they feed off of each other and serve your higher purpose.

 

[Zug]

I believe in finding ways that all your goals are intertwined so they feed off of each other and serve your higher purpose.

This is really good advice that has a lot more mindspace to explore. If parts of your life are not fitting together, it is virtually always a sign of a mistake or that you're trying something new. If you're trying something new, then give yourself room to be incongruent. However, lack of consistency within your goals and actions is a red flag that you need to grow up further. Working out 4 days in a row then devouring an entire pizza is a sign of a weak mind, and its worse than a guy who works out twice a week and stays consistent on diet.

Especially in regards to BDSM, if you're inconsistent with the dynamic or only selectively enforce rules the entire thing will fall apart overnight.

When I try to judge my own life progress, my primary metric is how much of my life is congruent and supports the rest. If one of my hobbies destroys another hobby, one of those hobbies needs to go. If my dating gets in the way of my job, or my job gets in the way of my fitness, then I need to understand why and fix it. All parts should feed the whole. You can't stand divided against yourself.

 

[Bman]

Thank you for all the birthday wishes, guys! I really appreciate you.

Telling and Showing My Main Girl About Other Girls (+ 2 Dates)​

So Book Girl was leaving for a trip for a week last week. Before she left she got me a birthday card and wrote in it that she loved me and was committed to me. It caught me off guard for a moment and I didn't express it back, which she was ok with. I explained my fears of her try to use love as a tool for manipulation in the form of "if you loved me, you would x, y, z" the big one being "if you loved me, you'd be monogamous to me". She was very understanding, and also jokingly said that is to socially complex for her autistic brain to handle.

She left for her trip. I go on two dates while she's gone.

First date was with the PNW Girl. She wore a cute sundress like I told her to. Beautiful gal. Date was great, we had an awesome connection, lots of touch and reciprocation, kissed a lot. She was really interested in the D/s lifestyle, very open to me having other partners. She originally reach out to me because she had read my writings and "loved my brain". Date was coffee date, mid day, we are both working later, which I made clear beforehand. She's asking about next steps and we start making plans for her coming over later into this week. Texted her the next day and then again later this week - ghosted.

It honestly caught me off guard because of how great the connection was, how receptive she seemed. Normally I would have been like 'whatever' and onwards. But I was really into this girl, and she seemed like she had the potential for being a really second solid full relationship/submissive. She also touted about emotional intelligence, clear communication, and honesty, which I clearly value and we bonded over. So then to have her do that was quite a paradox.

I'm not really shook by it, I just found it interesting, especially since it was a second time in a row from the previous girl I mentioned in my last update. One theory I had was PNW seen me as an expert, then met me in real life and seen I practice what I preach, and then got overwhelmed/intimidated/nervous/inadequate when she realized it the next day. Similarly, the girl that came to the munch with me physically seen me leading a group, walking the walk and the top of the hierarchy in this particular arena. Of course that's just a theory, which could be fed by ego, and reality is I have no idea. My self improvement brain says I could have totally fucked something up in my own game somewhere, but I felt like I would pinpointed it pretty easily. What's more likely is this is two random events, and both girls got their own reasons irrespective of me. Just a disappointment, she had a lot going for her.

Next day had a another date. A really far left leaning, queer, colored hair, art girl who literally works in theater. I couldn't think of a greater representation of this female archetype if I tried. She was also 6 ft, petite, and used to work as a cam girl through college, and a girl from FetLife. Had our date, took her home and smashed. She was great in bed, comes really easily, and we fucked so hard and long that eventually he had to take a breather where she just sat with my dick in her as we drank water, rested and talked for a moment, and then continued. She'll be back tonight.

Then book girl got back yesterday from her trip. I gave her a ride from the airport back home and we did our normal go to the gym routine after work and come back to my place to fuck. I'm trying to build this relationship on honest and transparency, so I told her about me sleeping with another girl while she was on her trip. Then we had sex. Afterwards she was telling me she was surprised by her own reaction, because she wasn't hurt or jealous, and instead just more curious. She said that she's really ok with me sleeping with other women because I'm distant, I'm not emotionally unavailable, I still want to see her and have sex with her, I still treat her with respect, and "you're not an asshole."

Then we got on the topic of threesomes. She told me she's very picky about the kind of girl she likes. Which I guessed would be the pretty girl/ club girl type because that's what she used to be to some degree. She was trying to show me pictures of celebs, and I was like those are not real people. So I opened up Feeld and just started swiping through to show her girls that I thought she would be into and I would also be into. There were a couple maybes, she said she'd have to meet them. And then I found your typical hot blonde, perfect bikini body and she's like hard yes, but I'd also prob get jealous because I want to look like her.

Then I got curious and opened up my FetLife to show her the girl I just fucked, and one that I was talking to (more on her in a moment). She wasn't into the girl I just had sex with because she had smaller boobs. So then I showed her the other one with perfect, fake boobs but also has a bad bitch vibe to her and she was a little intimidated. I took most of her reactions with a grain of salt, because she's never been with a girl so she only has a fantasy representation in her head, and I would bet she's open to way more girls than she thinks.

Anyways, I'm pretty excited about this relationship. So far she has taken all the D/s stuff well, she's handling my non-monogamy well, she's respectful, open, honest, and communicates well as long as I lead and prompt her (meaning I have a hold of my own security and can go first, be direct). It's been great having more of a girlfriend, doing coupley things, and she's really pleasant to be around. I do find it a little surprising that I met this one from Hinge and not FetLife, but I guess it was luck of the draw.

I think a few factors are helping with this:

• I set the frame from the beginning of D/s and I'm a sexually active guy. If you want to be in a relationship with me, these have to be accepted.
• She's mildly autistic, with the form that she doesn't quite 'normal' social standards. She does just fine socially and is a lot better at recognizing her emotions that she gives herself credit for, she just finds some social/relationship stuff illogical. She has a history of being bullied for not grasping some social stuff sometimes. This makes her a lot more open to me coming in and challenging norms.
• She has a couple friends in open relationships and sees that those couples still love each other.
• I'm secure in myself and direct and clear in communication which makes it easier for me to hold space for her to work through her emotions.
• I'm secure in myself and ok if she leaves. I also have abundance, not just abundance that I talk about, but actively use. She knows that there are other women who would like to be where I'm allowing her to be.

This is her. I also think she's a little self conscious about herself. She gained a just little weight over the pandemic, so black dress is pre, and white shirt is now. She's been excited about working out with me and taking my direction on what to eat for getting back to her pre pandemic size. I feel 6-12 mos from now, I'll have my barbie I always wanted. If I really get her open to the lifestyle and threesomes, then also the sex barbie I always wanted who can be permanent pre-selection and help me bring in girls for us.



Of course, all of this could totally go to shit, backfire, crash and burn. But as I said before, if it does, I'll be emotionally ok, I can easily hook another one, and these days they are getting more screened to be closer and closer to being good fits. Plus, I'm learning so many new skills about how to make a partner ok with all this, that I'll be well setup for the next. So why not give it an honest go. I get to have a loving partner and still see other girls, live the lifestyle, and so on.

​

Flying a Girl Out Try 2​

In other news, I had this girl from San Diego reach out a while ago after publishing one of my articles on Tantra. She was quick to share her attraction with me. We've been talking back and forth for a while, and she sends paragraphs. We have a lot of deeper things in common such as values, life philosophies, and spiritual practices. We're planning a trip for her to come out in July.



The last time I had mentioned flying a girl out I had a lot of hesitancy, because why would I do it if I can get plenty of girls here. AskTheDom told me that you to make it worth your while, like what else is she bringing to the table, like does she help you to get other girls for instance.

I feel pretty good about planning a trip with this one because she:

• Is willing to pay half, which means she's invested to and takes the risk of losing out if we don't vibe for whatever reason.
• I'm taking her to Shrine, which helps with pre selection in the local market
• She loved my boudoir photos and wants to take some, which I would do with both of us in the photos, and I'll prob see if she wants to shoot some porn together, too. Which helps with the online market
• So far we vibe pretty hard on paper and I think it would be a really enjoyable time

It so happens that the weekend we chose, it's a super low rate for airline tickets and I have tons of miles stacked, so I'm not using that many miles and the ticket is essentially free. We're splitting the AirBnB for the weekend, so I'd essentially only be out a couple hundred dollars if all went to shit. Which, she also has also been a professional masseuse, so if I get a couple massages over the weekend, you could easily pay a few hundred for massages. Lol So again, why not give it a go.

 

[Bman]

Flying a Girl Out Try 2​

Had video call/date with this girl yesterday. What was interesting about it was because it was different environment, things just ran a little differently. Because you're on video chat, you essentially lose a lot of the non verbals, which I realized I rely heavily on. There is no touching, no smell, no feeling of tension as you to get closer, silence feels more awkward, and eye contact feels like looking into a soulless machine rather than another person. You have to rely almost entirely on verbal game. Your body language is still in play and your vocal range is still in play (so long as you have a good connection and it's not choppy/delayed).

I took the call with my bedroom in the background like I would for recording a YouTube video with all the special lighting. Except I left the chains on the ground that were tied to the bed from the night on the floor and were clearly in view of the camera. Also took the call on my computer so I could use my podcasting mic, which gives more boom in my voice.

Some things I recognized though was I have more nervous ticks having a conversation over video chat than I do in person. I feel more anxious on video chat, I fidget a little more, and when I speak I tend to look off and away more often. And silence feels more uncomfortable. In person, I'm far more relaxed, hold eye contact a lot, and could sit in silence the whole date if I wanted. Its really just the environment change. I've run dozens and dozens of dates in person, this was the first time doing something like this.

Anyways, we chatted about our lives a little, just feeling each other out, and then moved to talking about how we got into the lifestyle, partners, what we're looking for, and sex. Then I asked the question about how she felt about coming out for the weekend we were planning. She said she was really excited. So I basically laid out what the weekend would look like, logistics for plane & airbnb, and told her I'd get everything reserved then she can send me her half of the expenses. We also talked about filming and shooting content together. She was on board with everything.

After I got off the call, I booked the flight & airbnb, sent her my venmo, and she immediately sent over her half. Told her I really value honesty and clear communication, so if she gets cold feet or whatever, just let me know and we'll get things refunded and I'll send her the money back. I booked the flight on my card because I can get a full refund for the miles on the flight, and full refund for the airbnb up until the week prior to the actual day. Ass covered.

Of course I had felt like I had done mediocre on the virtual date, but afterwards she messaged me on FL. We have each other's numbers obviously, but I told her just to keep the texts to logistics so we're not texting all the time and I'll message her when I have time (boundaries are good!).



I'm looking forward to it. She has a very soft, feminine voice and vibe to her, very sexually open, perfect fake, pierced tits, long blonde hair, and she's been training for her first body building competition, so lean and tight. Basically a porn start body. We also connect a lot intellectually and in life philosophies, so I think it should be a genuinely pleasant time. When she get's in, we'll probably drop her stuff off at the airbnb and then go grab a bite to eat to build a little in person tension (more for my sake than anything) but who knows, by then I might just get her through the door and start a weekend of hedonism.

I'm glad she's one of the first of doing this sort of thing, because she's making it easy, now I have a template I can run if I continue to expand my dating market digitally.