Update
Apologies for the whining above. I got back to work. Been a while since a proper update. Here’s what is cooking in the kitchen.
Girls
Politics Girl is busy AF.
Rope Bunny is out for all intents and purposes. We’ve just fizzled out, no formal breakup.
Had Property Girl over Thursday. Shame I’ll be leaving soon. Very sweet girl and would have been great to train for what I like.
I was up in the air about continuing to see Tantra Girl again. We had scheduled for her to come over again yesterday. During the day she texted me asking me what I wanted her to wear and I sent over some things. About two hours before she was supposed to come over I decided I did not want to have sex with her again or pursue any sort of casual relationship, but she’s a cool person and was fine with being platonic. So rather than cancel and explain that over text, I decided to run an experiment in honesty, having her still come over and expressing these feelings to her in person.
She did listen and wore a shapely black dress (and I’m sure the other rule of wearing no panties underneath). Felt bad she had put in the effort and now I was essentially going to tell her I didn’t want to sleep with her. She asked how I was, I said just ok. Then explained things to her, basically saying we’re sexually incompatible, if we went further she’d develop more feelings, and I’d probably end up breaking it off anyways. As I thought she might, she took it very well and we talked for about an hour. She did subtly hint a few times of “are you sure”, including rubbing her body against mine as we talked and I reassured her every time it was a no, which she would follow with a playful bratty “ohhhkkay.”
Aside from talk about sex, she also gave me some valuable feedback on a pitch video I had made earlier in the week for my non profit. I had shared it with her because she had taken an interest earlier. One thing she mentioned was that my passion and drive were such a turn on.
We agreed on possibly doing some erotic photography, she models and I shoot, as it was common interest and I’d updated my FetLife profile recently about photography (more on this later).
As she was leaving I gave her a firm hug that she nuzzled into chest and sighed. She said “ooo, my body keeps asking if I’m sure, and I keep having to tell it no, he definitely said no.”
Was this necessary? No. Is it the kind of man I want to be? Yes. And I don’t see many other guys operating in this way, so the only way I know how being this rawly honest will play out is by doing it myself.
Cold Approach
Alright, before I get to my Social Game 2.0, let’s formally address this.
Before the end of 2023, I was going out every day for about 2 hours to do CA sessions. I was starting to get over the AA hurdle and feeling comfortable about doing approaches. I was getting a number about ⅓ or ¼ of the time.
Then the Christmas to new years came and the streets were dead mostly. I also decided to do a final push to finish things up with the van. After 2024 came, I’ve focused mostly on selling or donating items in my apartment and getting the rest of it moved in the van with proper routines. As such, I have not given dedicated time to doing approaches.
Now I have started getting way more excited about work and other creative content projects, such as creating YouTube series on the van build and doing photography.
I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about what I want in terms of partners and dating wise, which has really pushed me towards focusing my efforts on social game.
I’ve realized just how much of a time commitment I would need to make in order to become proficient at day game. It’s a skill that must be consistently practiced. I just don’t want to make that commitment if it means taking time away from these other items I am excited about. I’d rather focus my time on mastering social game, which brings me more enjoyment. If I split my attention between these two, I’ll do both poorly. I don’t believe in continuing to pursue a goal if it will not serve your ultimate aim.
So instead I will do the minimal amount required to gain the benefits of managing my AA, having the confidence to still go after a woman if I see her. For me, this will look like still making a few approaches each day while doing my other activities in the city during the day. Normally this is a poor strategy, however, with the van I will be “out and about” 24/7. I will have opportunities at the dog park, at the store, at the gym, at spaces I’m working in, at social events I’ll be attending and on the streets I’m parked near by, every single day during my normal routine.
For the record, I tremendously respect the day gamers on this forum with the effort and dedication you put into day game. I believe it is a worthwhile pursuit. I won’t ever be your level for that skill, and that’s ok.
Social Game
Ok, enough preamble.
Let’s first discuss why I want to focus primarily on social game.
- It’s the most fun I have had in game. I feel like I’m vibrating when I use pre-selection and see girls fawn. I’ve yet to get tired of having INBOUND leads. I’m jazzed everytime.
- It’s a system that builds upon itself. Something that annoyed me from the very beginning using the apps is I would spend tons of time getting a lead, and even if it would convert, it would not help me get the next lead. It’s actually why I started getting on FetLife in the first place. When I acquire a lead in social game, either through direct or indirect interaction with that girl, it adds to my status which in turn helps me to get the next lead. Cold leads are also never entirely lost because they still sit on your friends list and get nurtured by your content and activity (as long as you combine online and offline).
- While I am decently attractive, I’m never going to beat out the other guys on the apps. Furthermore, my biggest strengths are in person. Most of the time, I feel pretty confident that if I get the girl one on one with me on a date, it's a done deal. I don’t get to use those parts of my game on apps, but I do in social game.
- I’m wanting some very specific things in partners and rather than fishing in the ocean, I’d rather fish where those people congregate.
What I want in partners
It's been almost two years since the divorce. I’m finally at a point that it would be nice to have a primary partner in crime. I don’t want a wife. However I do want someone to share the glory of what I’m building with. I do miss the more romantic, intimate moments that happen only when someone is around you a lot. I am, however, not giving up my harem building and sexual degeneracy.
Long story short is I’m looking for two things: my Immy, someone who wants to help me build and be a part of my mission in my professional life AND wants to partake in my dating life, and harem girls, sexually adventurous, sexually forward, attractive girls who want to partake in taking photos, sex parties, and group activities.
Here’s what each of those look like:
Primary partner:
- MUST be focused on education so she can be a part of my mission. Most likely an educator of some sort. I don’t think it’s actually going to be too hard finding a sexually open teacher, as I by happenstance interacted with a few kinky teachers on Tinder.
- Sexual and kinky, submissive, feminine, exhibitionist, and wants group sex
- Poly or at very least ok with me being so
- Does not want marriage, kids, or a traditional life
- Nomadic - would be great if she had her own rig
- Health focused
- Petite/ small with perky breasts
- Enjoys volunteering/ helping people: high compassion
- Intelligent and can have intellectual conversations; high openness
- Enthusiastic, joyful, positive
- Low-mid neuroticism
- Moderate conscientiousness, high industriousness
- Honest and can have hard conversations
Harem girls:
- Sexual and kinky, submissive, feminine, exhibitionist, and wants group sex
- Knows what a calendar is
- Honest and forward
- Petite/fit
- High openness
I know I’m essentially looking for unicorns, but when you get to the nitty gritty of what you want as an individual, everything becomes unicorn status. If you asked me 2 years ago if I’d be able to find and attract a woman like this, I’d say you’re crazy. Now I think it's very possible, it will just take time, intention, and action. So let’s get to that.
Social Strategy 2.0
OVERVIEW
Running my munch, running events, attending sex parties, and being a part of FetLife has shown me a lot about where the hottest girls are in the BDSM community and how to interact with them.
Although running my munch has been great, and was a perfect beginning for someone with zero status to start, I don’t think it’s the most optimal for attracting attractive girls consistently, especially for the particular girls I am now looking for.
Additionally, any success I have had so far in social game has come from marrying offline with online. You build status by interacting and providing value to those in person, then you carry and showcase that status online. As Denzel taught me in Training Day, “it’s not what you know. It’s what you can prove.” However, it’s hard to carry that in person status when I’m moving cities every few months. So I need to leverage online to a greater degree now.
In order to do that I will be using the vehicle of photography, consistently shooting with models that I may or may not be fucking, supported by social groups and events I attend. After following some top people over the last year, I think it has real potential for me.
The most popular people on FetLife have some sort of specialty to them: rigger, photographer, onlyfans, sadist, ect. And curates all their photos around that specialty.
Case Study 1: A rigger in Seattle with 30k followers that also takes amazing photos of his work. He also has sex with many of the girls he ties. He states “Anything or anybody you see on this profile is my original work. Some of it is platonic rope art, some of it is personal fun and some of it is commercially available smut. Best not to assume what is what”. I found this to be genius, because even the girls he does not have sex with add to his preselection for the girls that do want to have sex with him.
Case Study 2: a male OF star, previously an actor, with 27k followers, always posts pictures tagging the girls he’s having sex with, either in the sex act or just his face with their tits or something. Again, more preselection, and obviously biased towards girls who also make content. However he has 9 play partners listed on his profile, aka his harem, and for the most part is posting content he made with them with the occasional one offs here and there.
Case Study 3: Erotic/ Boudoir Photographer here in TX with 30k followers who explicitly states “Exhibitionism through photos is a really big kink and turn on for me. I'm still doing erotic and kink photography as a hobby, but I only do it as part of real play and real sexual experiences with my partners or other interested kinksters. If that appeals to you, just send a message.
” And has many photos with him being a part of the photos he’s taking with girls.
A long time ago when I first got married, I was starting to get into photography. I joined a facebook group in my city for photographers and models. I remember some people talking about a local photographer to steer clear of because it was rumored he slept with his models. I of course went and checked out his work and the models were gorgeous and he didn’t seem to be having a problem getting more girls to shoot… I thought it was fucking awesome.
Funny side story, during that time I actually did some boudoir shoots in my apartment with models for an ecommerce brand, while my wife was at work, she knew about it and was ok with it… god I wish I knew what I knew now.
It’s easy to get labeled as “guy with camera” doing this; however, what sets me apart from guys just trying to get laid with a camera is 1) I actually have skills 2) I’m being honest and upfront about it, just like the case studies.
Photography is also just something I thoroughly enjoy. I have downsized and purged possessions 4-5 times now and every time photography equipment survives the purge. It’s clearly a hobby I enjoy. I’ve also done all kinds of photography: portraits, wedding, concert, product, lifestyle, boudoir, ect. Photographing women is by far my favorite subject.
Now ethically, I don’t want to create traditional porn per se. I find it to be a net negative for the most part. Instead I’d rather do more fine art nudes/ boudoir/ softcore photos that have a fantasized theme to them that plays to psychology (which I learned from the OG OF girl in my log does extremely well) and has appreciation for the feminine form. I’m also thinking about a creative project around sex education involving filming real sexual experiences with a “how-to” commentary overdubbed and candid/honest conversations afterwards of what the experience was like emotionally/psychologically for them. Basically luring in people with candy and delivering broccoli instead with wholesome content.
Now let’s look at how this strategy unfolds online and offline, aimed towards getting the girls I want.
ONLINE
Fetlife
Fetlife will be my greatest source of pre-screened harem girls. On FetLife I will be posting the pictures I take of girls and tagging them. The great thing about FL is that when someone likes your photo, it shows up in all of their friends' feeds which means massive reach. I’ve already written a portion of my bio as marketing copy to speak to girls who would want to shoot, explicitly stating that it can be either platonic or as play. Pretty much running the playbooks of my case studies.
I will bolster my social proof and trustability by continuing to attend, support, or host events in the community, which will show up in my feed. Additionally I have already written in my bio about my experience from the community here in ATX.
Instagram
FetLife is great for getting my harem girls, but what about my primary partner whose main focus is education, something pretty normie? Sure, I
may find her in BDSM circles, but probability is low and I don’t leave things to chance.
I finally started up my instagram. I will be posting the more tame photos on my instagram, alongside photos I take of myself which will create a halo effect in the feed.
I will also capture stories with the girls I am shooting, as a behind the scenes “I’m shooting with x today”. (Thanks Holden for really inspiring this whole side of social game for me)
I will also be posting photos of my van life travels. Van life is an inherently instagramable lifestyle. It’s pretty common for someone to ask when you bring up van life if you have an instagram. Additionally, there are huge crossovers in social circles between van life and those into Tantra (and attending tantric sex parties).
So my plan is when I am attending a kink/ sex event, add girls to my FetLife. When I am attending a “normal” social event, and girls to my Instagram. Either way they will be introduced to my status.
Obviously van life and boudoir photography will immediately turn off some normie girls.
That's great! She’s not my unicorn then. What I have already found from my preliminary tests on the apps, is even van life attracts, having gotten an inbound lead on Hinge (which never happens) and one on Tinder (which I can’t show because tinder did a weird reset this morning and deleted all my conversations…)
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IN PERSON
BDSM Community Events
For each city I enter, I will be identifying the largest or top group/ event for that city and finding out how I can help with it. I will let them know I helped out with events previously in other cities, for which they can contact leadership for those events and inquire about me. This will help me get footing quickly in the new city. Instant status transfer.
Particularly in the first month of being in a city, I will be attending many of the munches to make my face known. Along the way I will be adding those people to my FetLife, which already has the pipeline in place.
Bespoke, High End Sex Parties
Munches are ok, but the
really attractive girls are going to private sex parties, curated and invite only. There is one here in Austin that the hosts have a beautiful home turned into a dungeon, do themed parties, offer free alcohol from a skilled bartender, and curate the list for 30-50 people tops AND its free!
This is the way to go.
I’d like to host high end sex parties of about 30 people, high ratio of women to men, most likely in hotel suites or nice private residences, and probably include kinky dinner party type themes like having service subs being sushi plates or serving whiskey.
I’m thinking that in each city I live in, I could befriend someone who has more money than time or skill, and partner with them to throw parties. They cover the costs, I take care of sourcing girls, curating the guest list, vetting STD panels and consent acknowledgements, handling logistics of getting the party together, handling safety precautions and so on. Hell, if they wanted to make part of their house a dungeon, I’ve got the design chops to do that, too.
The first few times of doing this will be difficult. After doing it a few times, word of mouth spreads, and I have a network of girls who I have photographed before and may be willing to travel, it’ll be easy. I feel pretty confident that the parties would attract new girls in each city.
Tantra Community
Tantric sex parties are a lot different than BDSM focused ones. When you attend one you will be focused a lot more on connecting with the other people, however there is also a lot more actual sex. I did not get much into the Tantric community here in Austin because I was so focused on building status in the BDSM circles. However, as I mentioned before, tantra and van life have big crossover circles. So I’ll be exploring this more. Luckily the circles also cross into kink sometimes, myself as a case study of that.
Van Life Community
Van lifers often caravan with each other or do big meetups where everyone camps out together. Every city also has online groups for that area as well. I predict I will start picking up status in these circles due to my design/building skills and having done my own build, and the content I’ll be creating on YouTube for van life: a van build series and guides for each city I live in. When these peeps also get added to either IG or FL, they will be in the funnel as well.
Vanilla Social Groups
I’m also going to be experiencing as much of the culture and what each city has to offer as I can. I’m going to take all the social and game skills I’ve learned and take them over to normal circles. I know one of my archetypes that respond well to me are the good girls who want to explore going bad, and as such, this will most likely be where I find my unicorn.
Here’s the groups I’ll be attending:
- Volunteering, specifically education focused: I genuinely just enjoy doing this but so do a lot of girls.
- Education events: classes/continuing education; conferences (both as participant and speaker); mentoring opportunities - most likely where I’ll find the primary partner
- Photography groups: A lot of these groups have photographers who all get together and do photowalks of their city. Great way for me to get content from people who know the best spots. Also, a lot of these groups have amateur models - source lead.
- Dancing classes: some of my favorite lays were dancers. It’s also a skill I have just wanted to have. Luckily a lot of studios have a 2-3 month curriculum which is perfect because that's how long I’ll be in a city.
- Local government/ politics: this is more part of a long term thing for me, but it will help me to get to know a city really well. I don’t see it being a huge lead source… at least in the beginning.
ACTIONS TAKEN SO FAR
That’s all fantasyland at this point, so here’s the actions I have taken so far towards that:
Started my instagram and just added photos I have previously taken. I don’t even have 30 followers yet and already had an attractive blonde model from the UK DM wanting to shoot when she came to Austin for a friend's wedding. I’ll be gone by then, but it was cool to get that already.
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Setup two shoots already. One model was an inbound on FL. She’s an OF girl and one of her videos just hit 20k on pornhub. We are doing a more classy shoot together as she has particular niche in her marketing she'd like to fill. High probability I’m fucking her (so if you see me on your OF subscriptions, Hi!) Shoot is on Tuesday, no date, straight to my place.
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The other model was a lead from my munch. She is actually a traveling nurse. She recently did a shoot with a body paint artist, so I asked if I could shoot her. She’s been sending me nudes this week, we’re doing a date before the shoot, good probability I’ll be fucking her but we’ll see. Shoot is tomorrow.
Also:
- Starting to take pictures for FL, hence the recent avatar change. Getting ready to do the same for IG for a van life shoot.
- Been chatting with my ex-wife. Added her to my instagram so she can get nurtured and not be shocked when I show up and tell her the other side of my life for the last two years. She looks forward to seeing me and hanging out with some of our social circle from college.
- I’ve briefly started researching the scene in Denver (my first stop). Luckily Denver is not too far from Austin and there are bound to be some people that know of the community here. So when I start name dropping, they will know I’m legit.
- Found a salsa dance studio in Denver that does 15 classes and has a two month curriculum. Solid.
- Already added the photography groups for Denver on facebook. One of them does a photowalk of the city for $45.
- Found some tantra events in Denver to try out, including a speed dating one.
Will all this work? I don’t know. I got this far.
In the infamous words of the great philosopher 50 cent “I’ll get rich, or die trying.”
