COLDEST APPROACH | Ziva Log

[ziva]

So I'm going to work on my approach anxiety starting next week (it's sunday now).

The last cold approach I did was last week in a club while I was sober.
I could eventually do it, but it took way longer than I would like it to take. Also my main goals is to up my confidence with women, so this is probably one of the best things I could do as well as setting up dates using dating apps.

Is the approach anxiety program from GLL still viable? I might start following that regime because it starts easy and slowly builds up as I've come to understand.
I'll keep y'all posted.

 

[Manganiello]

Is the approach anxiety program from GLL still viable? I might start following that regime.

Still viable ya. Just expect it to take a long time and sometimes be hard. You'll have a few moments where you can't accomplish a particular day, but eventually you'll push through.

... Also careful on the word "might".
You either do it or you don't. If you come into it with a weak commitment, very very high chance you won't finish it. Just being real with you. Over 90% of guys don't finish it. You have to have a real commitment for it.

 

[ziva]

Is the approach anxiety program from GLL still viable? I might start following that regime.

Still viable ya. Just expect it to take a long time and sometimes be hard. You'll have a few moments where you can't accomplish a particular day, but eventually you'll push through.

... Also careful on the word "might".
You either do it or you don't. If you come into it with a weak commitment, very very high chance you won't finish it. Just being real with you. Over 90% of guys don't finish it. You have to have a real commitment for it.

I hear you, I will definitely do it. I'm on day 2 now.

 

[ziva]

Yesterday I've read through the cold approach program from GLL and listened to the first audio recording.
Today I've listened to the second one where he basically talks about execution of a plan. Being smooth/talking to women is just a plan you execute.
Tomorrow is day 3. I've read that the action starts at day 4.

 

[T0NY_M0NTANA]

I skipped most of the AA program and just jumped straight into cold approaches. Got bored of asking for the time and directions to various places and skipped to just giving hit and run compliments to girls then slowly built on that.

IMO the GLL AA program wastes a lot of time with bullshit that you dont really need to do. The pranky stuff is a waste of time, for a complete beginner with severe approach anxiety I think alot of it could be distilled down to this:

- get comfortable asking for the time (walking up to a girl)
- get comfortable asking for directions or opinions (longer interaction with a girl you're attracted too, focusing on eye contact & body language)
- get somewhat comfortable giving a girl a compliment then leaving "Hey, I'm in a rush but I wanted to say you look nice/cute/good, take care" (combining walking up, focusing on eye contact/body language and conveying sexual intent)

After you've done that it's just a process of building on it and becoming more socially intelligent to detect whether girls are interested or not

Maybe you'll get to the point I got to with the AA program and have a fuck it moment quite early on - either way it's good that your doing this anyway I'll follow along

 

[ziva]

Today was the 4th day of the AA program, which meant I had to get out there and ask 5 girls for the time.
I just finished the drill like 30 minutes ago. In total it took over 6 hours to talk to 5 girls and ask the time.
I wanted to ask girls who were at least a little attractive and not just 50 y/o women.

It was not that bad at all. I'm really just gauging where I'm at when we talk AA.
I was in my head the most before the last one, because I did that one after work at the end of the day.
The last girl was with a friend and they didn't understand me when I asked for the time. Turned out they speak English (not my native language).

I think tomorrow, the drill is the same, I just have to do it faster.

 

[ziva]

I skipped most of the AA program and just jumped straight into cold approaches. Got bored of asking for the time and directions to various places and skipped to just giving hit and run compliments to girls then slowly built on that.

IMO the GLL AA program wastes a lot of time with bullshit that you dont really need to do. The pranky stuff is a waste of time, for a complete beginner with severe approach anxiety I think alot of it could be distilled down to this:

- get comfortable asking for the time (walking up to a girl)
- get comfortable asking for directions or opinions (longer interaction with a girl you're attracted too, focusing on eye contact & body language)
- get somewhat comfortable giving a girl a compliment then leaving "Hey, I'm in a rush but I wanted to say you look nice/cute/good, take care" (combining walking up, focusing on eye contact/body language and conveying sexual intent)

After you've done that it's just a process of building on it and becoming more socially intelligent to detect whether girls are interested or not

Maybe you'll get to the point I got to with the AA program and have a fuck it moment quite early on - either way it's good that your doing this anyway I'll follow along

Thanks man! I will follow it for now and see how minimal or severe my AA is. If I get my fuck it moment early on, I'll be happy haha.

 

[T0NY_M0NTANA]

I skipped most of the AA program and just jumped straight into cold approaches. Got bored of asking for the time and directions to various places and skipped to just giving hit and run compliments to girls then slowly built on that.

IMO the GLL AA program wastes a lot of time with bullshit that you dont really need to do. The pranky stuff is a waste of time, for a complete beginner with severe approach anxiety I think alot of it could be distilled down to this:

- get comfortable asking for the time (walking up to a girl)
- get comfortable asking for directions or opinions (longer interaction with a girl you're attracted too, focusing on eye contact & body language)
- get somewhat comfortable giving a girl a compliment then leaving "Hey, I'm in a rush but I wanted to say you look nice/cute/good, take care" (combining walking up, focusing on eye contact/body language and conveying sexual intent)

After you've done that it's just a process of building on it and becoming more socially intelligent to detect whether girls are interested or not

Maybe you'll get to the point I got to with the AA program and have a fuck it moment quite early on - either way it's good that your doing this anyway I'll follow along

Thanks man! I will follow it for now and see how minimal or severe my AA is. If I get my fuck it moment early on, I'll be happy haha.

Good approach man, you got this

 

[ziva]

Day 5 a.

This day was way harder than yesterday. Didn't complete the drill today.
I had some errands to run in another city, but waited to be back in my own city to start the drill.
I had a good interaction with a girl that works at the gym (never seen her before), but I really noticed that this didn't help my AA at all. Social anxiety and Approach anxiety are not the same thing. Anyways for today I had to ask 10 women in total for the time. Only did 2. The last woman heard me, ignored me, and kept walking. Never really had this happen before, so it got me demotivated to continue for today. I felt like I maybe was too intimidating or something. Not that that's the point of these drills. I was polite, asking a normal question.

Overall yesterday was much easier somehow, so tomorrow will be day 5b.
There were more things I was not good at when I started. Approaching is just another one of those things.
DEFINETLY not quitting, even though thinking about the girl that ignored me still feels weird.

 

[T0NY_M0NTANA]

Day 5 a.

This day was way harder than yesterday. Didn't complete the drill today.
I had some errands to run in another city, but waited to be back in my own city to start the drill.
I had a good interaction with a girl that works at the gym (never seen her before), but I really noticed that this didn't help my AA at all. Social anxiety and Approach anxiety are not the same thing. Anyways for today I had to ask 10 women in total for the time. Only did 2. The last woman heard me, ignored me, and kept walking. Never really had this happen before, so it got me demotivated to continue for today. I felt like I maybe was too intimidating or something. Not that that's the point of these drills. I was polite, asking a normal question.

Overall yesterday was much easier somehow, so tomorrow will be day 5b.
There were more things I was not good at when I started. Approaching is just another one of those things.
DEFINETLY not quitting, even though thinking about the girl that ignored me still feels weird.

Yeah it does feel weird but you'll develop a thick skin and stop caring soon, if they want to ignore you for asking a basic question, fine - its a reflection of them being a weirdo/being unfriendly and nothing you did wrong. Keep it up

 

[ziva]

Day 5b AA Program

I took like 2-3 days off since I didn't complete the drill of day 5.
I finally completed the drill today. I wanted to do it yesterday, but end up not doing it that day.
The drill was to ask 10 women for the time, faster than the first time. I ended up asking 11 women in 90 minutes, which was faster than the 6 hours it took earlier this week.
I know it can be done way faster, but at least I'm improving. I still got in my head in between girls. I found it way easier to ask girls for the time if they were standing still, or moving slowly. I didn't stop girls walking towards me for the time. I also didn't ask the cuter girls who were an 8+. Still room for improvement there. But I'm glad I completed the drill in a time that's significantly shorter than day 4. I even told my mom what I did when I came back home . There was also this one girl who I asked for the time that kept walking saying "no no". But that was ok. She sounded polite even when she didn't answer my question.

I think day 6 is asking for directions, but I'll read into that later. I want to state again that having conversations with strangers is way easier than randomly approaching them. This still baffles me. But fuck it. That's why I'm here.

 

[ziva]

Day 5 a.

This day was way harder than yesterday. Didn't complete the drill today.
I had some errands to run in another city, but waited to be back in my own city to start the drill.
I had a good interaction with a girl that works at the gym (never seen her before), but I really noticed that this didn't help my AA at all. Social anxiety and Approach anxiety are not the same thing. Anyways for today I had to ask 10 women in total for the time. Only did 2. The last woman heard me, ignored me, and kept walking. Never really had this happen before, so it got me demotivated to continue for today. I felt like I maybe was too intimidating or something. Not that that's the point of these drills. I was polite, asking a normal question.

Overall yesterday was much easier somehow, so tomorrow will be day 5b.
There were more things I was not good at when I started. Approaching is just another one of those things.
DEFINETLY not quitting, even though thinking about the girl that ignored me still feels weird.

Yeah it does feel weird but you'll develop a thick skin and stop caring soon, if they want to ignore you for asking a basic question, fine - its a reflection of them being a weirdo/being unfriendly and nothing you did wrong. Keep it up

Exactly. That's why I'm doing this program anyways.

 

[ziva]

AA program 6a

Quick post. I thought I had to do the drills all in one day, or it doesn't count. This left me with days where I didn't have that much time complete a drill in one go, meaning I didn't approach any girl at all.
So after listening to the podcast of toast on the KYIL YouTube channel, I've decided to change this. I was going to do the day 6 drills tomorrow, but I've started today while going home from the gym. I need to ask 5 girls for the time, 5 for the time and directions, and 5 more for the time, directions, and if they've been there before. I've done 2/15 approaches in between my schedule. This is how I will continue doing the drills. Tomorrow I have way more time, so I will most likely finish day 6 tomorrow. Might even start day 7 as well before my date (if she doesn't flake ). Sidenote: Today I saw a cute girl walking and thought "she's cute, I definitely have to ask her for the time", so I did. This was the first girl I approached who I can confidently call cute.

Ok bye

 

[ziva]

Yea i had the same problem when i'd do the AA program. I wouldn't do it like that. Instead i'd say just do each day at a time but if it takes multiple days to finish "day 6" or "day 7" then that's fine. Just do the drills when you can if you're busy. And wherever you happen to be. Obv if you can go out for awhile to specifically do them that's ideal, but don't feel like you can't do it just cause you don't have that.

Your mind is also sneaky and might try to do anything to avoid doing your drills so it can also become an easy excuse not to do them or stick to it.

It actually takes a long amount of time to do all the approaches at once everyday and it's totally impractical unless literally the only main thing you have to do everyday is just AA drills.

They don't all have to be done one after another in one continuous time period.

I think this emulates "real" approaching better anyways. Do you want to only be able to approach when you set aside some long time period to "game"? or just whenever you happen to see a girl whenever you're out? I know i'd rather be able to approach anytime instead of just when i go out specifically to "game" for awhile.

Yeah exactly. I've been falling victim to what you were saying though. I haven't had too much time for approaches the last 1/2 weeks, so I haven't done them since. I need to start again, even if it's just one approach

 

[ziva]

Haven't approached in 1/2 weeks, I need to get back at it. My work schedule and private schedule have been filling up more and more recently. This tends to happen when the spring/summer comes around. Still this is an excuse, because I have some time to do at least one approach while going to work or something

 

[ziva]

I've been thinking about continuing to cold approach. As of now online dating isn't really netting me any dates, and I do still have to take and upload DSLR quality photo's. So in the meantime I want to cold approach. I've also read some nice stories about cold approaching on this forum, so it got me curious. I did like the first 5 days of the GLL AA program, but heard that a lot of these drills could be skipped. My goals is to get dates from cold approaching, so what would you guys advise me to do? Just the old "hey this is random, but I thought you were really cute" route? Or maybe something else?

PS: I only cold approached a handful of women asking for the time, I never tried to pick them up yet, so to speak.
PPS: Is there a way to change the title of my log?

 

[natedawg]

PPS: Is there a way to change the title of my log?

Yessir - Just update the title from your very first post.

 

[ziva]

PPS: Is there a way to change the title of my log?

Yessir - Just update the title from your very first post.

Ay thanks b