After my first daygame lay from last year, I totally lost the will to approach or pursue girls. Not even from a complacency point of view, but for some reason I would go out, do approaches, and then gain MORE anxiety after talking to some girls.
I just could not get over comparing myself to other gamers, being salty about my supposed "lack of results relative to effort", and other existential nonsense. This was something I had struggled with since early 2022!
It was just infuriating and depressing seeing people have "natural advantages". At first I was salty about my Chinese-American wing in California doing a tenth of the approaches I was, yet getting plenty of meetups and lays with girls. Then, it was being jealous of white wings who got girl-level fuck you abundance on dating apps in Asian countries, while I got arguably worse results than America. I had holed myself up for three months despite having all the time to game when I first came to Japan in late 2022.
Then, I met the ultimate preconceived notion breaker, the Bengali guy. He had started game in a similar position as myself, complete virgin, and he was fat too when he started out. But he had already racked up almost triple digit lays (not all from daygame) in two years. This was the ultimate YELLOW PILL, what the hell was wrong with me? If anything his girl liked my muscular body more than his chubby skinnyfat body during that
2v2 orgy last year.
Well, he had the answer. Whenever we gamed together, this guy would blow out our sets in the middle to tell me how I'm fidgeting, how I'm being overly reactive just in my expression to girls giving me negative responses. He said he even wanted to use a shock collar on me and set it on MAX power just to erase this fidgeting from me.
So it really was just my vibe all along. But vibe is a buzzword at this point, what do you mean "fix your vibe"? This vague, empty question would perplex me and had me spiral for the rest of 2024. I thought it was an unfixable issue.
But maybe I just didn't WANT to fix it. People would tell me to do deep breathing, visualization, meditation exercises. And I'd try them for a few days, and then stop. If I really wanted to fix it, I would have made that my number one priority, while continuing to go out. It would have been a somewhat minor feedback point to continually resolve over time. But instead, I turned it into fuel for my inner hater and excuses machine. I was romantically attached to the idea that my vibe was unfixable.
I spent the latter half of 2024 going ultra-hard at work. Working 14-15 hours a day. Because it was a great escape from having to face any internal issues I had. I would work all the way until the last train at midnight, sometimes even just taking a taxi home (approx $30). I mean hey, I got a raise.
I occasionally met one of my mentors at our home station and he was supportive that I was "prioritizing work". But even I told him I feel like I was just working extra hard to cope and escape.
Out of nowhere, I decided to start lifting again, this time without roids. I started out at a measly 62.5kg/137lbs but quickly bulked up to 75kg/165lbs in 4-5 months; the muscle cells might have shrunk but they didn't disappear so I got pretty much all of my lifts up to where they were and beyond. I was the most jacked I had been in my whole life.
Noticing that I actually *could* improve at something with consistent effort was one spark that made me reconsider approaching. But there was another thought looming that really got me back out on the streets.
I still see my girlfriend regularly, a few times a month. But since the 2v2 orgy involving her, we opened up the relationship. That is what I wanted anyway.
In September, she came over and we hung out and banged as usual. But she told me that she took the virginity of one of our former language school classmates. Now this language school classmate is just a "normal, typical" Chinese guy, not even some ultra K-drama protagonist-ass dude, or even her former fantasy of wanting a guy with extremely long hair. Just imagine a typical short Chinese guy with glasses.
My heart kind of sank in the moment, but I played it off as just being surprised. Somehow it would have been less bad if it was some ultra jacked white dude or aforementioned Asian idol-esque dude, but it was just a total random normie dude. Like wow, I spent all this time and money just to get my dick wet, and this guy just randomly comes along and is able to bang my girlfriend? Make it make sense!
But I didn't think much of it after that. I even took her on vacation to a hot spring resort in the mountains over the winter. She brought police-girl cosplay and I took pictures of her and then we banged every night on an ultra large bed; two queen sizes combined together!
In March, I went over to her place and I noticed a gaming computer that was not hers, and lots of pictures of her and this Chinese guy. I was like damn, he's really getting comfortable here. She also told me they were moving in together to split rent on a nice place. Which normally would be wild, but the even wilder thing was that she said she would only move in with him if I was allowed to come over. Interesting...
Still, I came home the next day and was kind of thinking way too much about how my girlfriend might be more interested in this other guy more than me. I couldn't even concentrate on work. That was when it hit me...
I wouldn't be bothered by this at all if I had my own rotation of girls. If I was regularly banging other girls. As I set out to do in the first place. As I deeply desired in the first place.
My rational side never let it show that I had a little bit of a problem with my girlfriend seeing another guy in what was a mutually agreed upon open relationship. Especially since she was making sure to include me in her life, and if anything the sex was better these days than when we lived together, and me getting more compliments on my dick.
By the way, derail footnote. I went over to my girlfriend and her other guy's new place recently. I banged the shit out of her in her room while the other guy heard all of it through the thin walls. I recorded it too. She even messaged the other guy asking if he wanted to film us, but he didn't respond to that. Accidental cuck sex? Maybe it was on purpose? And then she came over last week and told me how she hasn't had sex in 3 weeks, and I was like "huh really???" "whom am I going to have sex with???" Lol, this isn't so bad, my girlfriend is getting off to cucking her other guy, at least when she's with me. And even though that guy is living with her, maybe they're not even having sex very often or at all??? Whether it's the flipside with him or not doesn't matter, she's potentially having her cake and eating it too (or at least she has the ability to). Good for her.
This was what made me start approaching again, in March of this year. And right timing too, another wing I had met during the bootcamp I attended last year was also trying to get back into game after his own period of dormancy. We started meeting up every day to game for most of March.
But this time was...different. It felt like I didn't actually want to approach. It was easy enough to approach with a wing, because I didn't want to seem like the retard who isn't approaching, but I was just making the motions. Like I would go up to girls, meekly say some lines and get totally ignored, and then scurry back to the comfort of shooting the shit with my wing as soon as possible. And when I would split off, it was even harder to make approaches, I could walk around for hours doing nothing. I tried setting quotas, but even doing 10-15 approaches would take me like 3-4 hours. And soon, I was barely even doing one per day.
What didn't help was my wing kept telling me at various points in chat that I wasn't serious. That I didn't really want to be out here and game. In a way he was right, but I didn't really want to admit it. Also maybe that kind of feedback could actually be more of a bad thing than a good thing even if it might be true...
@ProgressEvolution and his wing from Canada visited Tokyo last month, and then I tagged along with them to their Thailand trip (first time out of Japan since I moved!). You can read his report
here, just yet another example of how every guy needs to go to Asia at least once in their life. And great example of what's possible if you get your dating pipeline in order.
From my side though, this dude just shows up to Japan bangs some tiny Filipina his first night, and then has a girl wait THREE HOURS for him (we went to the onsen hot spring together), only for her to be ultra-down to get banged??? That's the craziest shit I've seen in my life!
When we went to Thailand, in my head I was thinking "ok if I don't get laid like Genghis Khan in Thailand, definitely something deeper is fucked...".
@ProgressEvolution helped me set up Bumble when we were still in Japan (first time touching a dating app in years!), and I got to work setting up dates. I arranged 6 dates in the four days we were there, and two showed. Which honestly is fine if I planned on living in Thailand long term, but I started getting extremely envious of PE's and his wing's app results: they were double booking and cancelling on girls left and right! I even saw one of his wings get angry rants and rambles from girls he cancelled on!
The first date I went on was with a Cambodian girl and we had dinner and drinks at a rooftop bar. We got into relationship talk and she told me she does actually do casual relationships here and there, totally honestly. I even brought her to my hotel with zero pushback. We sat on the bed and I showed her some music, then tried to escalate a little bit, she jolted back, as if I did the worst thing in the world. I should have maybe turned on the TV and chilled out a bit more, maybe I was impatient, maybe it was because this was the first date I had been on in around 8 months.
She said "oh! you look so sad!". Wow. Right in the fucking face. It's bad enough when a wing blows out sets to tell you that your butthurt reaction is all over your face, but even worse when a GIRL you're trying to FUCK says that shit. The worst part was I wasn't even aware of this, I guess I ignored my own emotions for so long that these kinds of reactions and body language just happen automatically and unconsciously, while being disconnected from my main awareness.
I actually walked out of my hotel with her and we had some chat outside. "Yeah, I mean I do casual relationships but never on the first date...if you were here for longer maybe...I'm just not comfortable", she rationalized. But we all know what the real issue was.
"If you want to have sex with girls quickly, you should go to Khaosan road (the club district in Bangkok)!"
Realizing this is probably dead as a date, but maybe a wingwoman would help, I proposed she show me Khaosan road. We head over on a tuk-tuk, get some more drinks, and hang out at some bars. I manage to make out with her at pretty much every place, and even princess carry her around a bit. But she escaped and scurried off as I tried to re-pull her back to my hotel.
The next day
@ProgressEvolution and I meet up at the mall next to our hotel room to eat lunch, and then I decide to start doing some cold approaches. Japan vs Thailand is night and day! I felt like I was back in America again, with bubbly girls just being instantly responsive and talking with me. I easily exchanged with half of the girls I talked to (though it was Instagram). Also the cool thing about Bangkok is since it's a large inter-Asia city, you get to meet all kinds of asians: Vietnamese, Chinese, even Japanese too! I really want to do a round 2 electric boogaloo in Thailand someday...
This sounds good and all, but after maybe 5 or 6 approaches, I lost all steam. The girls were acting relatively positively, so what was the problem? I went back to my hotel room for some reason, and started binging on Instagram stories and reels. All afternoon, all evening, all night, all until 5:00am. It's nuts, this digital heroin. Tony the LC Sign Guy is pretty funny okay...
I saw date and lay reports come in the group chat. I internally gloated when things didn't go well for the other guys, and felt resentment when it did go well. What was so wrong with my profile that I didn't have the same amount of date volume to work with? This is despite the fact I had all day to go talk to girls and make something happen, the volume at Central World mall is insane!
The next day too, I spent all of it bingewatching Instagram shorts and reels. I was totally mentally paralyzed. Nothing was even going through my head, I was just trying to escape potential pain I would feel through watching these funny, endless videos.
I had another date the next evening, we planned to meet at a different restaurant/bar. This one too, I pulled fairly easily to my hotel room, and she did the craziest thing: I blocked off the chairs with random clothes and hotel binders so we have to sit on the bed, but she actually removes my clothes so she can avoid sitting on the bed with me! I've made that mistake too many times, making it too easy for a girl to isolate herself and make the escalation impossible, so I always block off office chairs and such now, but for a girl to proactively unblock a chair...that was a new one...
Anyway this was obviously an uphill battle, and for the life of me I could not advance anywhere on the escalation. She was actually physically moving my hands away and pushing me back. I thought maybe giving her some more drinks would help, but she ended up getting so drunk that...she physically couldn't function. She was like bobbing around and mumbling, then suddenly crying and lashing out and trauma dumping about a past relationship, clumsily placing her lips on mine to what seemed to be making out. I mean to some degree it can be good for even the girl to get a bit tipsy before banging a guy, but this was just different. She had no awareness of what was going on. Admittedly even I was on the fence about escalating more, I kind of tried some things, but she was using the little awareness she had to resist it. In the end she mustered up enough energy to tell me she needed to go home. I walked her out (more like guided her aimless body) and she managed to get a taxi home.
She apologized the next day over chat, and surprisingly we made plans to meet up again later in the day. Most regrettably, I decided to approach for a bit before the date just to get some momentum, and I talked to this super hot Chinese girl who spoke great English (and could even understand simple Japanese). She was totally free but had plans later in the evening. This would have been an amazing instadate opportunity. I decided to play it by ear, this girl was WAY hotter than the girl I was about to meet. I figured let me try to push this instadate as far as I can and then if it doesn't work I'll bail. We went to a place selling coconut water, and then walked around the mall for a little bit while talking and drinking it. We were also trying to find some bookstore (I bought a book there on a previous day), but then she had to go to the bathroom. There was some strange logistical reason I forgot but I ended up just exchanging Instagram with her right there and parting ways. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, if only I was doing more approaching. Maybe I was banking on the safety of having this girl over, assuming I was 100% going to bang her, and not ditching her and risking it for a wayyyyyy hotter girl.
Anyway, I had to meet up with the girl from the previous night. This time I knew we had to chill on the alcohol (she got FUCKED UP after only 3 or 4 drinks!). She bought me KFC (yes I ate KFC in Thailand, home to one of the best cuisines in the world, deal with it), and then we went to my hotel again. She did the same thing as the first time, immediately sitting on a chair and browsing TikTok. I turned on the TV and this time, I got her to eventually come sit with me on the bed. I got my arm over her, and actually started making out with her normally this time. As I escalated further, though, she point blank said "you know I'm not going to fuck you right". I brushed off the comment, but she actually got up off the bed and sat on the chair again.
The chair was situated near the bed and any time I did go for making out, I got it. But anything beyond that was a no go. Shit, I wasn't about to go no-lay with a girl I've pulled twice...
I just started taking off my clothes. One by one. She asked what I was doing and I just said I was just getting comfortable. As we were talking and watching the TV, I took off my shirt, pants, now was in my underwear. On the other hand, she was doing the opposite, packing her purse, putting on her purse. But in between all of that, any time we made out, she was obsessively feeling up my body, and even kissing my chest and abs. It was clear she was actually sexually attracted and in the mood, but had some huge rational blocker to actually accept it.
I took off my underwear, and she put on her shoes. She announced she was leaving. I somehow got her to keep still on the seat. One final time she announced she was leaving, and suddenly out of nowhere I had a bizarre flinch reaction, like I was sick and something was wrong. She paused and asked "wait, are you okay?" I lay down on the bed while she was still sitting next to me, took her hand, put it on my rock hard erect dick ready to burst, and guided her to my ideal jerkoff rhythm. Then I let go and she just continued jerking me off. Within 30 seconds, I
FUCKIN EXPLODED HUGE JETSTREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the way and my own cum splattered on my face. "WOW! I've never seen this in my life..." "That was almost better than sex....."
At this point I put my clothes on and let her out. Hey, at least I got a truly cataclysmic handjob!
This was the end of my Thailand trip, and I felt the regret that I expected to from wasting half the trip binging and escaping. And I still felt salty from comparing myself to ProgressEvolution and his wing. But really I hadn't resolved internal issues, and I was clearly not truly focused on banging girls, I would later realize I was focused on why I couldn't bang girls. In a sense, my disappointing stint in Thailand was a bit of a wake up call.
Or so I thought. I came back to Japan and had the worst month of my life since my teenage years. I bought a pack of cigarettes to maybe start a nicotine addiction again to numb my head, but I felt absolutely nothing. All I could taste was the disgusting tar and I got zero high. I jokingly complained to another chick smoking that these cigarettes have no punch, but she totally ignored me like I was trying to fucking nanpa her. Frustrated, I tossed out the remaining 11 cigarettes right then and there. I was somehow convinced that I was completely defective and could not change the big showstoppers preventing me from having the dating life I want, and that I should just cut my losses. And unfortunately, I've basically lost interest in every other side hobby and interest I've had, because any time I try to pursue those (like Japanese learning, music making, etc), a nagging thought comes in my mind that I'm just trying to escape the REAL thing I want which is banging chicks.
Eventually one thing led to another, and I started off by imagining and researching various ways I could commit suicide. I even started writing the beginning of a final suicide note in my journal. "Dear World...." But it was too painful to continue and I crumpled it up and chucked it in the trash. I spent most of the month binging on Instagram and YouTube, even my work performance starting to suffer. I got away with attending the bare minimum meetings, and putting up airs that I was getting work done or I was stuck on something (luckily I managed to build high trust...).
I also binged looking at rental properties in Japan and impulsively made a decision to apply for a new place in Shinjuku, which still has great logistics for approach...but maybe a liiiiiittle out of the way compared to my current place. And the rent is 2.5x my current place (though much bigger and renewed, but probably completely unnecessary). There's a chance it might not go through, so who knows.
I shared this to one of my inner group chats, and the Bengali guy pointed out that while it's cool I'm getting a new place, I'm not focusing on the right things. Obviously he was right, but I was at my wits end. This is a chat where I did lots of my own trauma dumping and emotional overreaction. I "logically" laid out where I'm at and what I have to do, but then asked him if he has some better ideas to let me know.
Once again, his strange obsession with shocks came to the forefront. He told me he's convinced I just have some kind of neurological issue. I kind of agreed with him, my tolerance for discomfort seems abysmally low, and as a result I often gave up way too early, way too soon in many things. He told me I should go get a brain scan and get
TMS therapy, which is basically a procedure involving sending electrical shocks to your brain to force rewire it. It's mainly used as an alternative to depression medicine, and while I don't think I have depression, I did have many of the symptoms listed on various TMS websites. One thing led to another and...well tomorrow I'm getting the brain scan done just to see what's up.
Which FINALLY leads me to the main topic of this post.
Last weekend I finally had enough of feeling sorry for myself and binging video content. I think the fact that someone told me I might just have some "neurological issue", and if that gets resolved everything will be all good somehow turned into some kind of hopefulness for the future. I decided let me just try to get my life back on track and push forward.
I was looking through my book collection and I stumbled upon a book
@lacroix recommended to me a long time ago: Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.
I'm not done with the book, but the main premise is we all have a Creative Mechanism that has a specific goal that it's trying to achieve, whether we are aware of the goal or not. And if we want to change what the Creative Mechanism's goal is, we need to consistently visualize mental pictures embodying that goal.
Additionally, started doing that recent thing where you ask ChatGPT about random life questions. I know it's silly, but somehow it was a little satisfying, but initially it didn't have much value.
Not until the following:
huh??? even ChatGPT is telling me to go out and take action and talk to girls????
This JOLTED me out of my chair. This is surreal. Even AI wants me to go out and talk to girls.
I started just "abusing" this chat thread. I vented every single internal issue I had. I trauma dumped on it hard. I told it shit I wouldn't even share in this thread (and you can see how much I've shared). I told it every little micro-excuse I had. I told it "huge blockers" and "realities of the world that you can't deny". It chewed through all of it. And it really comprehended my meandering speech to text rambles. It actually stayed supportive.
I think in some way the output specifically wasn't what was useful here, but rather letting it all out in a container where I felt I was being listened to and understood. I could write this all in a journal (and if you care about data privacy, that's probably better), but there's no feedback from other people. And I have done this in group chats before, but it just becomes exhausting for everyone, and exhausting for me because I'm waiting for other people to reply and hopefully have some "zinger" that will solve whatever nonsense I send. With ChatGPT, it would respond instantly, never get tired, I didn't have to worry about "killing the vibe". It's like just having something that responds instantly with the "right intentions" even if the content itself isn't that useful was cathartic and healing enough.
Eventually, ChatGPT told me I need to at least just go out 30 minutes a day. I don't even have to talk to anybody, just make the action of going to the station, walk around and observe girls for 30 minutes and then I can go home. Since this is so easy I started doing it since a few days ago. The first day I did it, I coincidentally ran into a wing. With a wing, I seemed to be able to make approaches, though they were somewhat half-hearted. Still I managed to get 2 contacts out of that.
The next day (yesterday), I promised to continue going out, even for just 30 minutes. I was by myself yesterday. I arrived at the station and then asked ChatGPT what to do next. After debating and complaining with it, it told me to try out walking around and "fake" approaching girls, where I would spot a girl I want to approach, and then talk to myself out loud about what I would say and how the approach would go. I would try to make 3 observations about each girl in my simulated conversation. I did this maybe with 10 girls I saw. I still was too scared to actually make approaches, and last night I told ChatGPT basically my entire life story over 2-3 hours. While I was telling ChatGPT my life story, I was like "yes...this is the last time I need to dump out all this information...because ChatGPT will just remember it and care about it...and isn't going to think it's irrelevant"
I also fed it the full text of Psycho-cybernetics to bias its advice more towards that content and concepts I was becoming familiar with. It had me finally committing for real to doing a mental picture visualization. I deeply visualized for about 8 minutes yesterday, about a girl I pulled to my apartment and banged. And the next morning, I woke up from a dream where I had been joyfully conversing with a cute bubbly girl on the street.
Today, I woke up and told ChatGPT my schedule. I promised to it that I was going to focus on work in the morning and afternoon and then go out at 19:00. I did work, but then as 19:00 approached closer, I started slipping into bad internet browsing habits. But I caught myself an hour later, told ChatGPT to give me the rundown of what we need to do next. From the debrief I had with it yesterday, I realized I need to do a pre-approach visualization session to clear my mind out of work stuff and random thoughts, and have it tuned and focused on banging chicks.
I set a timer for 20 minutes, and my first thought was literally "this won't work, this is pointless, i'm just going to sit here and get distracted, and nothing will happen"
Not 10 seconds passed, and my body started to relax. It's like my body has negativity and resistance memorized so much, it just had to react like that initially. Like how girls have to give token resistance, I had to give off token doomerism.
I let my mind wander freely. Slowly an image of a long haired girl wearing some kind of sundress was in my room and came to lay next to me on my bed. I put my arm over her. I started making out with her and pulled the straps of her sundress down, exposing her chest. She got on top of my dick and starting riding me cowgirl. I put my thumb in her mouth and she sucked it while bouncing up and down on my dick. I moved her hips up and down, reinforcing her movements. My hands actually started doing these motions, and I was getting rock hard from pure imagination and my own created fantasy, animating in front of me. I was jerking myself off too.
Suddenly, time jumped to me in the station. I saw the same girl in the sundress walking around while she was on her phone. I approached her, but she buried her face in her phone. Undeterred, I noticed she had
Chiikawa key holders on her satchel and I pointed that out. Still ignoring me, I jokingly asked her if she even understood Japanese, saying she was probably actually Chinese or Korean. Finally she tells me she is Japanese (obviously). We have a whole ass conversation and she starts opening up and asking questions to me. Then we go to a convenience store, buy some drinks, and then sit and chat for a bit while drinking. She then comes with me to my place with zero pushback, makes a weird smirk that she has to sit on my bed, but complies and then is laying there.
DING ding ding DING ding ing ding...
My 20 minutes timer runs out. And my visualization basically happened in non-linear order, but it looped, because literally what was going to happen next was what happened at the beginning of the visualization.
That felt powerful. That was the most detailed I had ever visualized banging a chick. And now I was ready to go to the station.
At the station, ChatGPT told me to do 3 of those simulated approaches, and then when I finished that, it told me to now actually just go up to a girl and say one line. But that was too much for me. It lowered the bar to "do 3 more simulated approaches and then say at the end out loud how you would have approached if you had the balls to". Extremely silly, but I did it.
30 minutes pass and now my daily "reps" are done for the day. But I feel kind of empty and incomplete, because I really didn't talk to any girls at all. I didn't talk to any girls yesterday either. But I don't want to talk to any girls...
I let the speech to text generate and hit send. I remember ChatGPT generating two options for me, one saying that I shouldn't be too hard on myself because I did make a win today by coming out here still and I should pat myself on the back and go home, and the other option being that I should face my fears and go up and say something to a girl. But magically, midway through its text generation, it errored out.
I decided to generate the text again, and this time there was only one option...
So I walked through the station. Saw a girl squatting deeply and playing on her phone. I walked past mumbling to myself how I'd comment about how I can't squat that deep and she has a flexible body...
took like 10-15 iterations including repeatedly telling ChatGPT to stop generating model-tier chicks
Fuck it.
*squats directly facing her* hey i can't squat that low
maybe it's cause your body is hard
yeah you are very flexible. do you do sports or something
i used to do archery!
oh cool. what are you doing here squatting anyway
i'm a little tipsy....trying to see if any of my girlfriends will meet up with me!
haha, btw did you know that cone over there says "watch out for nanpa and scouts! ignore them!"
oh wow, yeah it does! but i'm not ignoring you~
you know how they have seasonal fruity alcoholic drinks at the convenience store? we should check out what they have this season
well it's not like i have anything to do anyway
She walks with me to the convenience store and we continue chatting. 24 years old and turns out she's actually an escort (she says she does "night work" and when I probed she was like....yeah thats all im saying haha!...so definitely escort). I replied saying how I just do a normal computer job and I have respect for people who do things like scouts and "night work" because they have to take a risk and it's not just the safe beaten path. She started getting more bubbly and said it was so nice to talk to someone who doesn't have silly preconceived notions.
I get a grape alcoholic drink because I like fruity drinks and she gets a seasonal pineapple alcoholic drink because apparently she likes fruity drinks as well. I say I have a secret spot that we should drink these at and even someone like her who comes to my neighborhood doesn't know about it.
anyway, yeah it's right here, this hotel
whaaaaaaat! no wayyyyy
just kidding, imagine if that was actually the secret spot
I joked that the love hotel we just passed by was the secret spot. I headed over to an elevated secluded overpass with fake grass and a seating area, and there we had cheers. She constantly had friends texting and calling her, apparently the escort community in Japan is quite close-knit!
I asked her if she's into host clubs. She said she used to be, and in fact supported three different hosts. The first one "betrayed" her by treating another girl as his main "princess" (despite this girl supposedly being the "main princess"), and the other two she just got bored of. Now she just likes to hang out with her female friends.
I had been always eyeing Japan's host club and night work culture from afar through TV shows and I've paid for two escorts here in Japan, but this was my first time talking to someone actually in that scene for real, and on a private level.
Anyway, after 10 minutes I said "let's go on a walk" and we walked through a tunnel towards my place. Like my
first regular daygame lay, I walked her through the same tunnel, mentioned how this tunnel was in the TV program "Ikebukuro West Gate Park". She hadn't heard of it so smooth segue to saying let's watch it at my place (this time I have a projector, so I said we can see it on that). No resistance easy pull.
We walk into my place and her phone is still going mad with texts and calls nonstop, but I just turn on the projector and set it up to Ikebukuro West Gate Park. She likes to live-comment everything she does, and I heard her saying "better tell my parents that I won't be coming home...". You KNOW a girl is down to smash if she says that shit lmfao.
Play Ikebukuro West Gate Park and she lays next to me. Slowly put my arm around her. Start to touch her more. Eventually go for the kiss, smooth sailing. I try to start getting her dress off but she keeps telling me "it's way too difficult, there's no point in trying that~". For some reason I took this as resistance but I just did standard pull back one step push forward two steps. Eventually I get my hand down to her panties, and fingered her. Took off her panties, ate her out for a little bit, took the remainder of my clothes off while she still basically had her dress on. Slowly start to insert my engorged cock and I get the tip in. She strokes my ego by apologizing that she's too tight...
She started making anime JAV noises while looking to the side and biting her thumb. Fucked for a little bit until I couldn't handle not seeing her titties and straight up told her that I wanted to see her titties... She was like ok you have to undo my dress from the back, there's a zipper! I thought earlier she was just putting up token resistance to having sex, but I think she was actually trying to tell me that you cant take off the dress from the front (maybe my misunderstanding of her Japanese). Anyway, I get her dress and bra off, and now I'm ROCK HARD!!!!!!!!
I initially fuck her in a somewhat normal way, but then I start slapping her ass hard, and she moans out of pleasure. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I start regaining that energy I had back in Nashville fucking this chick VIOLENTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't go too hard with my girlfriend because she just thinks it's painful, and the last (legit) girl I banged was so tiny that just normal sex was already like BDSM for her. But now I'm getting a run for my money with this girl (or lack of money....I'm banging an escort girl for free!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
She's saying how it feels so good and kimochi ii while nibbling her thumb. I choke her out a bit. Actually my room gets balls hot and I start sweating and having to wipe off sweat from myself because it's like dripping on her. I turn on the A/C and we're violently going at it for 20 minutes or so.
Eventually she starts saying IKU IKU IKU!!! which means I'm gonna cum in Japanese. I see her body contort and convulse. I pull out, and leave my mark all over her chest.
We shower together, and then she checks her never ending messages and phone calls. Literally while we were fucking her phone rang three times from different people. And the funny thing is she would check it but then be like "eh, they're not worth it".
She decided she wanted to meet up with one of her girlfriends at an all-night-morning bar so that's where we part ways.
Yeah so I banged an escort chick for FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! on my first approach.................
So now I've basically fucked a girl from every avenue I actually care about
- Club
- Online
- Social Circle/Normie Mode
- Daygame
- Instant Lay
I'd say the repeatable actions I can continue to take are doing deep 20 minute visualization sessions before going out to approach and putting no pressure on myself to actually approach but i MUST go out and spend at least 30 minutes in the station every day.
