colgate - High Volume Approaching & Pulling / Pickup Hustle

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've learned how to give myself permission to suck, but now I want to suck less...ugh lol
 
Jacobpalmer123 said:
I am trying something new where I try to make-out with girls at the 30 min to 1 hour point in dates. Because everyone knows the end of the date it's going to happen. And if she rejects the kiss you move on. The best dates the kiss happened before the end. I remember I was playing video games with this girl and she was lying on the couch and I just kissed her. And if you tell yourself girls make no sense they will make more sense.

Anyway tomorrow is a new day try again
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Have you been able to go for the kiss before you get physical with them otherwise (beyond just hugging)? And how do you even initiate it during just a date?

I've only kissed 2 girls in my life so far. The first time she was literally in bed with me (I probably would have already gotten laid by now if I didn't get blueballed, story for another day).

The second time I was dancing at a club a few months ago with a girl and were getting really erotic and I was grabbing her ass. I just said fuck it and grabbed her titty and she looked at me and went straight for my face and we made out on the dance floor. oh man that was fucking awesome haha.

But those were both one off moments and it just "felt right", and I don't know how to create them myself.
 
Quick video update, it's short so you can just watch it lol
https://streamable.com/eeryog

tldw: starting to get comfortable with going out at night by just chilling, and approached a girl (no number)
 
colgate said:
The second time I was dancing at a club a few months ago with a girl and were getting really erotic and I was grabbing her ass. I just said fuck it and grabbed her titty and she looked at me and went straight for my face and we made out on the dance floor. oh man that was fucking awesome haha.
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7f5.gif


Seems like you already know what to do. You'll get laid any time now, it's only a matter of time and playing the numbers game.
 
I'll start with this long emotional rollercoaster video that I made 2 nights ago
https://streamable.com/t7mh17

I thought the place I was going to go next on Friday night was another club, but it was just a bar open until 3 am. Pretty cute girl walked near me while I was sitting at the bar so I just chatted her up, but wasn't really in "getting her number" mode. I did ask who she came with and she said she was sitting with her co-workers, so I just asked if I could join.

So I started hanging out with them, and I got to look into the window of what "normal social interaction" is like. Everyone was being really physical, the girl was even hugging and pecking other male coworkers.

They went to another kinda dead bar and I just went along with them but we didn't do anything. Actually I kind of had a feeling of wanting to leave more than an hour ago but I was too complacent and lazy to be like "yo guys I gotta go". I had this dumb feeling that I had to make it some big deal that I was going and I couldn't just leave, which I should have. Eventually some of us were walking down the street (me and 3 other girls), but the first girl was suuuper drunk and her friends were trying to lead her back to their car, and I was just like, eh I'll just leave the group with no words (finally).

I really need to work on my neediness to other people. If my body is a car, then my desires are just cargo in the trunk, locked away and existing, but with no input on where we're going. My default behavior is just being passive and going with the flow, even though I actually want to do something different.

This is a deeper issue beyond "knowing what to say". While I'm getting comfortable with cold approaching (my volume is still quite low) and flirting, it all seems cerebral. On the other hand, if I just turn off, or I don't know what else to do, I just do nothing and I exist.

Case in point, when I went out with that girl in Nashville, I was able to get her number and go on some dates, but when it came time to make the moves, I almost couldn't actually believe I could do it, and I basically did nothing. I just handed the wheel over to fate, and got really frustrated that my desires couldn't control the car anymore.

It was the same with this group of people, I just hung out and after a while I basically did nothing and I felt really out of place.

I just want to have control of my life.
 
Went out yesterday to buy a used DSLR. My city only has a few places to meet people, and I'm basically not serious about getting laid until I start taking online dating more seriously.

It's a Nikon D50

I also tried to go out to approach girls, but I made a bullshit excuse that I was super tired and I just sat around in the park doing nothing. Cargo in the trunk mode again :cry:

I went to the One boba shop in my city and there was this cute nerdy girl standing in front of me. I was mentally humming and hawing about approaching her, but then she actually asked me "hey what do you recommend?" and we started chatting a bit.

I wanted to escalate this interaction that seemed to just fall in my lap, so I told her I really appreciated her approaching me because I wanted to talk to her (forgot to call her cute ugh lol). I asked her if she wanted to go out with me to the riverfront after work (she was in a work uniform). She said, oh I work really late, I asked her "until what time?", she replied 12:30. I asked if she was free tomorrow, and she said that she was also working late. After asking her if she was free any days of the week, she just said she works 7 days a week, so I think she just didn't want to meet.

I wanted to get her number, but she said "oh my phone doesn't work" but she pulled it out anyway (it was a flip phone, based). I decided I need to start being pushy now, so I asked what her number was anyway, but she said "oh I really don't remember my number...", I told her if she goes to her phone's settings she can get it, but she was just playing with her phone and going on random menus. I then just said "ok take my number" and she put it in, although I doubt she will contact me.

In one aspect I felt like we were on the same wavelength with being awkward and making dumb white lies to get out of situations (it's something I used to do and I'm really working on stopping that myself), so I think she was doing the same to me.

I guess I learned that I need to be more pushy in general, and girls in general will seem to just follow along with you if you're really sure and pushy. If you're passive and kind of just hint at things, they don't respond well.
 
Hey man I read your progress log and have some advice.

Hope it helps.

First thing first GOOD START!

I read that you've kissed 2 women and are yet to bang.

If that is correct I suggest doing BOYFRIEND GAME.

The advantage is you get a lot of experience with one chick (she can tell you what is good which is easier than one night stands because you can keep seeing her).

From my experience women can sense if you are banging a lot of chicks or are a virgin and if you are a virgin the odds are very difficult in a competitive environment such as a nightclub.

With boyfriend game you just play it slower (it might take you a few dates but she will hang around longer and teach you) then when you have experience start to date more women.

It might be a hit to the ego but date a chick that is lower than what you think you can get.

You can always upgrade and it makes it a lot easier to get the first one.

Hope that helps you.
 
In the interest of being less aimless and passive, I'm gonna start posting a couple of set tasks to do for the day, and then check in at the end of the day.

Sun 8/15/21:
- Eat breakfast (putting food here, because I need to make sure I eat enough for my workout goals)
- Clean room - bad time management today
- Clean kitchen
- Scope out another mall I've not been to - bad time management, malls close at 6 pm on Sundays
- Approach 5 girls (either at this new mall, or the usual mall) - approached 1/5, pussed out too much (see later post for details)
- Set up Tinder profile - set up and swiped a bunch
- Eat dinner - made a deal with myself to approach 5 girls or no dinner, failed deal
 
Warlord said:
If that is correct I suggest doing BOYFRIEND GAME.
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Do you have any methods/links for boyfriend game? I might ask my roommate's gf if she has any single friends but that's literally the only person I know in this whole city.

I guess I got the number of one girl that I met in the park playing frisbee, but I've not texted her yet. I wasn't really sure what to do because I didn't really approach her like "yo you're cute" (I approached her and her male friends with one of the AA drills).
 
Oh yeah, I'm gonna pause on the AA program for now because I'm feeling confident about going up to girls and asking for their number now. I'm gonna test starting with 5 girls a day, and then try to ramp that up.

If I can't approach 5 girls today, I'll go back to the AA program tomorrow.
 
BOYFRIEND GAME:

Chris from GLL (AA Program) and BoyToy spoke about it.

A method is keep going out and meeting women and in particular LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.

Women who know you are way better than them will be super nice to you.

Don't be surprised if they will bang you on the first date and even more to your benefit if they want to keep seeing you.

Just be prepared to play it slow, treat them nice (still be a strong leader) and bang them after a few dates.

Remember you can always upgrade.

Man I dated a model then did night game lowering my standards and banged A LOT of women then kept upgrading.

The main thing that holds guys back is the ego. Who cares. If you are still getting rejected keep lowering your standards then UPGRADE.

I went from dating a model to fat chicks (I didn't care I just wanted to bang as many as possible) and I kept upgrading.

I ended up banging those hot chicks who guys are too afraid to talk to and I attribute that to getting easy wins and upgrading.

Now I have a super hot chick and am still looking to upgrade.

Trust me when I tell you that women can sense if you can get women.

SUMMARY:

- LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.
- KEEP MEETING WOMEN.
- PLAY IT SLOW.
- KEEP THEM AROUND.
- KEEP MEETING WOMEN.
- UPGRADE.

On the other extreme is to go upto the hottest chick in the bar and tell her you are the hottest chick in this place (its from the How To Go Out Alone To Bars Program by GLL).

That will also give you confidence.
 
Warlord

That sounds like an interesting idea, I'll think about it.

I think there is a certain niche of girls that are attracted to me if they know me (slightly chubby types), but I've always turned them down in the past when they make advances on me. I'll consider adding to my pool of girls I'm interested in hitting on when I go out.

That will also force me to hit on more girls, which is always a good thing.
 
Pretty frustrated today because I had shitty time management since I woke up late and talked with my roommate for like 3 hours, though we had a good conversation.

The 2 malls I wanted to go to both close at 6 on Sunday and they're across town, and since I ended up leaving my house at 4:30, I only went to the one I normally go to.

Here's a video log of what happened
https://streamable.com/x7pbbe

I couldn't approach anyone in the mall. Granted there were mostly families and not too many people, esp girls, but I still pussed out on the 4 girls I would have been interested in.

Decided to drive to the park after pussing out at the mall. There was one girl with a group of friends that was pretty cute, so after about 2 minutes of standing around, I went back to them and hit on her. Said she wasn't interested.

Then I walked to the bridge and sat down and started reading other people's logs for some inspiration. I pussed out on maybe 2 or 3 girls, but I got the idea to head over to some grocery stores.

Went to a Walgreens and pussed out at 2 girls walking out, saw no other girls inside.

Went to a Publix and saw a cute Asian girl who was looking at the overhead signs facing me. I pussed out there, but I didn't want to give up. I saw her walking down some other aisle but then she was on the phone...ugh. Then I decided to try to track her, but I saw a few other cute girls, but totally ignored them because I had some stupid approach one-itis. Saw the girl at the register again and decided to wait outside, but I got startled because she "walked in a different direction than I thought she would".

At this point I started to try to mentally record every bullshit excuse my brain comes up with for not talking to a girl as they pass by. I feel like I need to be actively aware of it, and how silly and limiting they are so I can destroy them.

Saw a cute girl in a collar and red lipstick, "was walking with others in a group"

Saw a woman who smiled at me and said "hi how are you?", "was maybe a little older than I want" (she was maybe late 20s early 30s, which makes this total bullshit)

I was like laughing at my own retarded excuses as I headed over to Whole Foods for a hail mary. I did start saying "sup" and "hey how are you" to every person that was walking towards me, like that other woman did, because I feel like this would be a good habit to get into to potentially approach people, and I personally like when people do it to me. Greeting everyone walking towards me really makes me feel like I have more social freedom, and I'm not just existing in this world and being ashamed to be out.

That being said, I pussed out 2 more times at Whole Foods. Granted, Whole Foods was dead at 8 pm on a Sunday, but I still missed 2 opportunities.

Cute, slightly chubby staff lady, "looked like she was 'busy' with inventory"

Another Asian girl, was walking towards me, and I missed greeting her entirely because "I was pissed at not approaching the other girl"

Had one more miss on the street too.

Hopefully remembering my excuses and realizing how bullshit they are, and greeting everyone walking towards me will help me puss out less.
 
Mon 8/16/21:
- Laundry - washed/dried. need to put away
- Iron clothes - around 30% done, was doing it during pomodoro breaks, but i stopped doing it at some point
- Clean room - ehh. kinda started doing it but fell asleep. I've been going to the gym MWF at 4:30am for about a month, but I might quit going so early because I want to prioritize going out. I tend to naturally fall asleep around midnight lately, and there's still stuff to do at around 8-9pm when I should be going to bed if I'm working out at 4:30am, so I'll experiment with going later now.
- Learn about DSLR - consulted my roommate who is a photographer to help me out, but apparently my used nikon d50's shutter button doesn't work and it has a CHA error, so I'm probably gonna return it and just order online from Andy's tinder guide :roll:
- Eat breakfast in 1 hour - 1h7m
- Work distraction-free for 4 hours - 8 sets of 25/5 pomodoros. got distracted for 30 mins on set 7
- Approach 1 girl
- Eat dinner in 1 hour if I approach - actually ate dinner (since I approached), but got distracted on my phone too much and took 2h20m. Need to start putting phone away when eating.
- Swipe on Tinder


Gonna start with 1 girl and increase by 1 a day.
 
Really did NOT want to go out today, I was already frustrated that I had to go out, cursing at my contacts that wouldn't stick in my eyes.

Knowing that I had a negative mindset already walking out the door, I put on Andy's podcast "Day 336: You don't have to SUFFER to reach your goals" for motivation and guidance, since I really felt like I was suffering and I needed someone to tell me to enjoy it.

Parked my car in the lot and meditated for a bit to ground myself and then walked out.

I intended to hit on a girl at the Whole Foods but there was literally no one under 40 years old for some reason. This really pissed me off, and to make things worse, it started getting super cloudy and drizzling. I knew that there would probably be some people walking around still so I didn't bail yet.

I complimented a chick on her neon green shirt, and cheered on a female jogger (not approaches, I just like doing this and want to start doing it more).

There were really a few people, but I still pussed out on 2 girls. I thought, let me at least maybe try to do a rep of AA Day 6, so I asked some group of people what the time was. A woman answered, but when I started to ask for directions, a dude started answering me, so that's a failure.

To make things worse, a cute jogger chick came up to the crosswalk too, but my balls bounced into the street and I "couldn't" hit on her in front of that group I just did the AA drill with.

Then I decided to actually scope out that new mall I meant to check out yesterday, and made this video log out of frustration
https://streamable.com/dzifye

Started pouring hard while I was driving and I thought to head home but I was like nah dude, you can't fucking leave now, you've not done shit. So I drove on to that mall anyway.

Sat in my car for 30 mins complaining about living in this small ass city, wishing I could be back in Nashville. Even entertained the idea of renting another place up there...

I joined a bunch of Meetup events in a frenzy, hoping to meet more people.

I entered the mall and it was fucking DEAD. It was Monday at 7:30pm, and there were literally 5 people. There was 1 girl at a Piercing Pagoda I could have approached with anything (even an AA rep) but I flaked there too.

Then I was like "well I drove all the way up here, tf am I gonna do now?" There was a TJ Maxx so I walked in and scoped it out. Saw a really pretty but slightly chubby girl, but I honestly thought she was adorable. BUT I PUSSED OUT AGAIN.

Walked out, and went to a neighboring ROSS, no one.

I went to my car thinking, maybe I'll go to some bar and chill and meet someone. But then I thought, "am I really going to drive back 20 minutes and waste even more time because I literally can't take 2 minutes to walk back into TJ Maxx and talk to that girl?" I also remembered I made a deal to myself again that I would miss dinner if I didn't approach ONE girl today...was I really going to sacrifice my gains for a second day in a row? Finally my rationalization worked for me instead of against me and I marched right back into TJ Maxx.

Yet, I spent another eternity standing around and "looking at soaps", until I was like dude go the fuck up to her...so I did. I was a bit awkward but here's how it went

me: "hey sorry to interrupt you working but I just wanted to tell you something......[long pause for eternity]...i thought you're really pretty and i wanted to let you know that. what's your name?"
her: "oh thank you! it's ----"
me: "oh nice to meet you" *shake hands*
me: "i know you're busy and i gotta go too so i was wondering if i could get your number"

So she ended up giving me her number which was cool.

Made this second video log because I was so fucking excited to eat dinner and end my shitty start of the day on a good note
https://streamable.com/n15gta

I texted her about an hour later after I got home to make plans to meet at the boba tea shop, but she said "she's packed for the next couple of weeks", which just seems like an excuse to not meet. I replied anyway saying that we can meet for like 30 mins, but I don't think she'll reply back.

I'm just happy that I finally just fucking approached her and I'm now eating one of the best dinners of my life. I'm really glad I'm committed to going out every day even if I feel like shit or feel negative.

For now, I think I'll stick with 1 approach a day. I'd like to reduce the amount of time it takes me to do it, since it took me around 3 hours today. When it's less of a big deal for me to do 1 approach, I'll increase it. AA reps will be on the backburner if I need to get myself in the mood to approach more.
 
Tue 8/17/21:
- Clean room
- Finish ironing clothes - bad time management, woke up late
- Put clothes away
- Eat breakfast in 1 hour - kinda? I nibbled away while working
- Work distraction-free for 4 hours - 6/8 pomodoros, want to sleep lol
- Eat dinner in 1 hour - ~30m. no phone at the table trick worked
- Return faulty DSLR
- Order new DSLR online - spent about $450 getting Andy's Nikon D7000 and lens recommendations

- Approach 1 girl in <3 hours of going out - probably like 5-10 mins lol
- Swipe on tinder
 
Short post, cuz it took me a short time to approach lol
https://streamable.com/6of2ac

Went to Target, saw a girl/guy duo a couple times. Probably within 2 minutes of tracking them down, I approached.

me: "hey I don't know if y'all are dating, but I just wanted to say you're really hot"
girl: *giggles* "thanks!"
guy: "nah man, we're just friends, but yo man that's dope" *gives me a handshake*

I asked if she was free this week to meet up (I wanna try making plans on the spot if I can now), but she said she was gonna be leaving in a few days. Pushed for her number anyway (turns out it was an out of state area code), but she was really hot so I'm gonna text her to see if she's down anyway later.

Afterwards I went to the mall to maybe get a #2 but eh I didn't see anyone I actually wanted to hit on so I just bought some more clothes and shoes and called it.

Will do 1 approach tomorrow to average out my feelings and then bump it up to 2 on Thursday.
 
Wed 8/18/21:
- Gym
- Breakfast in 1 hour - >2h. talking with my roommate again. might actually start eating out or something for breakfast once i run out of food since I feel like I eat faster going out
- Work distraction-free for 4 hours - literally did no work, was on phone too much
- Finish ironing clothes - ditto
- Put clothes away - ditto
- Approach 1 girl, quickly (like Tuesday), attempt to make plans on the spot - approached quickly, forgot to make plans on the spot, but got a number
- Dinner in 1 hour - N/A, decided to eat dinner at board game night
 
Kudos to you for approaching a guy/girl duo, that's pretty ballsy. Keep up the good work!

--Edit-- I just saw that you're counting how many approaches you've pussied out on? I don't think there's a point to doing this. You should be focusing on the successes rather than failures, especially since you've just started approaching.

Either way I'm sure that soon enough you'll be able to do 10+ approaches a day pretty easily.
 
goldfish said:
I just saw that you're counting how many approaches you've pussied out on? I don't think there's a point to doing this. You should be focusing on the successes rather than failures, especially since you've just started approaching.
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it's an analogue for how people do like "1 for 7" when they approach 7 girls and only get one number. I'm not yet at a stage where I actually care about getting numbers (although I'm actually 3 for 6 on getting numbers so far), but I might add that in my signature at some point.

I love numbers and what they mean and remembering and recording even girls I pussy out on somehow gives me an incentive *not* to pussy out (by keeping the approach:pussy out ratio low). But maybe I'll remove it at some point when I feel it won't help me anymore.
 
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