Day 9 - AA Program

No drills again:

I’m wondering wether I should take a two-week break from the program until my work experience is finished, since it’s taking up a lot of my time currently.

If I do make that decision, I will inform y’all of course.

Till tomorrow.

Crimson
 
I’m able to approach girls all of a sudden?

First off, my bad for disappearing for the past couple of days. Was literally to lazy to even post. I’m gonna take a two week break from the Program, to finish my work experience.

But I just have to say this, yesterday I approached a girl and today as well. I wasn’t even really nervous. Told both the line: “I know this is random, but I thought you were hot.” Both rejected me.

All of a sudden I feel like I can approach any girl as long as I’m not surrounded by too many people since I still care about people seeing me approach.

Anybody now what’s going on? I’ve approached like 20 girls so far in my whole life so I know that I can physically do it, might it just be a issue of giving myself permission despite the fear?

Can somebody help me here?

Either way I should still finish the Program, it can only be beneficial.

See y’all in two weeks.

Crimson
 
Chris talked a lot about this in the AA program, it's called the "Fuck it" moment. I think it's expected usually much later in AA program. But you say you've already approached 20 girls before, maybe that's why?

Give this thread a read:
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/how-to-pick-up-girls/123079-aa-drills-approaching-fuck-it-moment-would-love-your-input-chris
 
1v1mekid said:
Chris talked a lot about this in the AA program, it's called the "Fuck it" moment. I think it's expected usually much later in AA program. But you say you've already approached 20 girls before, maybe that's why?

Give this thread a read:
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/how-to-pick-up-girls/123079-aa-drills-approaching-fuck-it-moment-would-love-your-input-chris
Click to expand...
1v1mekid said:
Chris talked a lot about this in the AA program, it's called the "Fuck it" moment. I think it's expected usually much later in AA program. But you say you've already approached 20 girls before, maybe that's why?

Give this thread a read:
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/how-to-pick-up-girls/123079-aa-drills-approaching-fuck-it-moment-would-love-your-input-chris
Click to expand...


1v1mekid Oh ok, yeah I heard Andy talk about the „fuck it moment“ as well. Thanks for the comment thread that you sent, I‘ll just finish the Program and approach girls when I feel like it on the side.
 
Crimson said:
Anybody now what’s going on? I’ve approached like 20 girls so far in my whole life so I know that I can physically do it, might it just be a issue of giving myself permission despite the fear?

Can somebody help me here?
Click to expand...

My experience with the AA program is slightly different than yours but I too ejected out of it after like day 5 or 6 and just started opening girls normally (thought I had a buffer period of a few days where I went out being too nervous to go up to any girl). And I had opened 2 or 3 girls before I started the AA program.

I haven't bothered going through the rest of the AA program but I think some of the drills seem helpful for handling tension during approach interactions. Even when 90% of my approach anxiety was handled, it took me a while to get over the tension of conversation with a girl instead of jumping for her number within 15-20 seconds. And I'm still working on my general vibe and tonality.

I don't have the whole AA program memorized, but I think one of the hardest drills is the ABC drill. I think if you're able to do that drill without rushing through the entire alphabet, it'll be greatly beneficial. You can probably pick and choose drills too.

It's up to you, but I'd try just jumping in and seeing if you can actually open girls for real. Give yourself a week where you go out everyday and open 1 girl a day, 2 girls, 3 girls, etc and see what happens. If you can't handle it, you can fallback on the AA program. If you read my log from this post https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=19502#p19502 you can see what I ended up doing to at least get over AA.
 
colgate said:
Crimson said:
Anybody now what’s going on? I’ve approached like 20 girls so far in my whole life so I know that I can physically do it, might it just be a issue of giving myself permission despite the fear?

Can somebody help me here?
Click to expand...

My experience with the AA program is slightly different than yours but I too ejected out of it after like day 5 or 6 and just started opening girls normally (thought I had a buffer period of a few days where I went out being too nervous to go up to any girl). And I had opened 2 or 3 girls before I started the AA program.

I haven't bothered going through the rest of the AA program but I think some of the drills seem helpful for handling tension during approach interactions. Even when 90% of my approach anxiety was handled, it took me a while to get over the tension of conversation with a girl instead of jumping for her number within 15-20 seconds. And I'm still working on my general vibe and tonality.

I don't have the whole AA program memorized, but I think one of the hardest drills is the ABC drill. I think if you're able to do that drill without rushing through the entire alphabet, it'll be greatly beneficial. You can probably pick and choose drills too.

It's up to you, but I'd try just jumping in and seeing if you can actually open girls for real. Give yourself a week where you go out everyday and open 1 girl a day, 2 girls, 3 girls, etc and see what happens. If you can't handle it, you can fallback on the AA program. If you read my log from this post https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=19502#p19502 you can see what I ended up doing to at least get over AA.
Click to expand...

colgate Yea, I definitely see what you’re saying. I was able to do six full on approaches today. I still pussy out on LOTS of girls though, just like you in that link you sent me, which is why I gotta keep going.

The problem is I already said I‘m not gonna quit the program in an earlier post on this log haha. And also if I would quit the program I would be doing out of fear of the drills that lie ahead (I don’t even want to THINK about singing the ABC‘s to random girls lmao) and not because I feel like I don’t need to do the program because my AA isn’t that bad after all.

I appreciate the insight though, thanks a lot.
 
How I will proceed:

So, in the last 7 days I full on approached 11 girls. Well, it’s actually 10 because I accidentally approached the same chick twice today haha, but I’ll count it since I thought it was a new girl.

Mind you, I only approached on 5/7 days. The 7 days is simply the time span between the first girl I approached in months (seven days ago) until the time of this post.

This last week was like an epiphany, truly. I didn’t think I could talk to girls in the way I did for the past week. I didn’t do any AA drills, I wanted to find out where I was at regarding my AA.

It’s quite bad. I can’t approach really hot chicks and approaching any girls when there’s lots of people around (city center) is pretty much impossible. It feels like I’m honestly a bit more scared of people seeing me approach than getting rejected. Also they are bad days and good days I feel like. Couple days ago I could only approach one girl and walked past dozens and I was nervous as hell the whole time.

But today, I approached six girls. SIX. Not groundbreaking, I’m proud nonetheless. I even screened a girl today with physical touch. So here’s what I’ll be doing from here on out:

-I will finish the AA program up to day 46
Im going to do all the drills in the cities next to mine, since I don’t wanna be seen singing the ABC‘s to girls by a classmate or something haha.

So that’s how I will do it. I will ride the train to neighborhood cities everyday and do the drills there „undercover“ from my regular life and when living my day-to-day life in my city,

P.S: The 11 approaches all either rejected me or had boyfriends. Best reaction so far though: Approached a MILF (she was 32) after I pussied out on her at a Traffic light. She was interested but said I was to young and encouraged me to keep talking to more girls. First positive experience in cold approach, probably will never forget it.

Quick question: I want to document my actual cold approaches. Do y’all think I should create a separate log for that or just document it in here?

See y’all tomorrow.

Crimson
 
Day 8e - AA Program:
-Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
-Time, Directions, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave

I’m back! Asked a woman in her late twenties who was walking with her mom and child. Asked her (Time, Directions, Have you been there?). Definitely gave less F‘s about reaction since I did. approaches before that.

One more drill and then two more sets to go for the day 8 redo. Let’s go!

See y’all tomorrow.

Crimson
 
Crimson said:
The problem is I already said I‘m not gonna quit the program in an earlier post on this log haha.
Click to expand...

While it is good to not go back on your word, I'd probably take some time and think about what's going to be the most beneficial for you, instead of being pedantic about "I said I was going to do this so I have to do it even if it slows me down". Not saying you should stop the AA program, but just think about it and decide for yourself.

Crimson said:
want to document my actual cold approaches. Do y’all think I should create a separate log for that or just document it in here
Click to expand...
I think most people have done that here. It's a good idea.
 
Struggling:

Damn man, I haven’t done a single drill in like weeks. I keep running away from this program, but life is miserable knowing that I can’t talk to girls I don’t know so I always come back.

I haven’t even been going outside to at least TRY to do the drills…
Should I stop for now and make Andy’s Tinder Guide my top priority instead? At least then I would get laid during the process.
 
Is your true priority to get laid (by any means necessary) or to get over approach anxiety? I don't think you need to ask the forums what your priority is, think about it yourself.

In your case, you're a good looking dude, if you care more about getting laid, I have no doubts you'd get laid relatively quickly after following Andy's Tinder guide. I see no reason to put that off.

If you care more about getting over approach anxiety and doing cold approach specifically, rather than just getting laid, then yeah, definitely continue the AA program and/or jump in with approaching. But you should definitely get out of this non-action limbo you seem to be in, and pick a choice based on your true priority.
 
Crimson said:
I haven’t even been going outside to at least TRY to do the drills…
Should I stop for now and make Andy’s Tinder Guide my top priority instead? At least then I would get laid during the process.
Click to expand...

I'll tell you my story if that helps you think more clearly. This is not my personal advice. You need to think about your ultimate goal and how bad you want it to start organizing your priorities.

I felt so bad for not approaching girls that I started looking out a reason why I was unable to do it, why I was so scared. Some internet research brought me to the AA program. I started doing it just to not feel like I was doing nothing about my romantic life. But being honest, I wasn't fully committed to it. I was afraid of leaving behind other things that were important to me for the sake of chasing girls and fixing my relationship with girls.

That lack of seriousness resulted in not completing the program beyond the first week. And twice.

Another reason why I didn't complete it was that I was being really hard on myself for not completing the drills. I would feel like shit for not completing a drill and posting in the forums that I did nothing. Those feelings ended up paralyzing me from doing anything. It was obvious, everyone wants to avoid suffering.

I also felt I was wasting my time doing these drills when I could be approaching them directly.

I started a third time, and this time I was really committed to finishing it. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I traveled to Miami and I stayed there for a month. The number of girls I could see daily wasn't enough to complete the demands of the drills.

That's why I decided to start approaching right away. I knew I couldn't wait and do nothing, that would have just increased the AA. Approaching one girl a day in Miami would make the program easier when I came back to my country. So that's what I did, I approached 1 girl every day. Then I approached more progressively.

And in the end, I realized my AA wasn't bad enough to stop me from approaching. I could absolutely force myself to do it.

I thought about my goals. What do I want? I want to have abundance, get laid, and fix this part of my life so I can focus on other things. Based on that goal, I decided that approaching will yield better results faster than doing the AA program.

I don't feel proud about leaving things incomplete and not keeping my words. I'm not saying you should do that. That still haunts me these days.

But honestly, I feel I made the right decision. I feel good about the path I'm following.

I hope this helps. My best wishes man
 
colgate said:
Is your true priority to get laid (by any means necessary) or to get over approach anxiety? I don't think you need to ask the forums what your priority is, think about it yourself.

In your case, you're a good looking dude, if you care more about getting laid, I have no doubts you'd get laid relatively quickly after following Andy's Tinder guide. I see no reason to put that off.

If you care more about getting over approach anxiety and doing cold approach specifically, rather than just getting laid, then yeah, definitely continue the AA program and/or jump in with approaching. But you should definitely get out of this non-action limbo you seem to be in, and pick a choice based on your true priority.
Click to expand...

I definitely care more about getting laid than finishing the AA Program. It is what it is, I’ll just do what I want from now on. Appreciate your input colgate.
 
D4vidDG said:
Crimson said:
I haven’t even been going outside to at least TRY to do the drills…
Should I stop for now and make Andy’s Tinder Guide my top priority instead? At least then I would get laid during the process.
Click to expand...

I'll tell you my story if that helps you think more clearly. This is not my personal advice. You need to think about your ultimate goal and how bad you want it to start organizing your priorities.

I felt so bad for not approaching girls that I started looking out a reason why I was unable to do it, why I was so scared. Some internet research brought me to the AA program. I started doing it just to not feel like I was doing nothing about my romantic life. But being honest, I wasn't fully committed to it. I was afraid of leaving behind other things that were important to me for the sake of chasing girls and fixing my relationship with girls.

That lack of seriousness resulted in not completing the program beyond the first week. And twice.

Another reason why I didn't complete it was that I was being really hard on myself for not completing the drills. I would feel like shit for not completing a drill and posting in the forums that I did nothing. Those feelings ended up paralyzing me from doing anything. It was obvious, everyone wants to avoid suffering.

I also felt I was wasting my time doing these drills when I could be approaching them directly.

I started a third time, and this time I was really committed to finishing it. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I traveled to Miami and I stayed there for a month. The number of girls I could see daily wasn't enough to complete the demands of the drills.

That's why I decided to start approaching right away. I knew I couldn't wait and do nothing, that would have just increased the AA. Approaching one girl a day in Miami would make the program easier when I came back to my country. So that's what I did, I approached 1 girl every day. Then I approached more progressively.

And in the end, I realized my AA wasn't bad enough to stop me from approaching. I could absolutely force myself to do it.

I thought about my goals. What do I want? I want to have abundance, get laid, and fix this part of my life so I can focus on other things. Based on that goal, I decided that approaching will yield better results faster than doing the AA program.

I don't feel proud about leaving things incomplete and not keeping my words. I'm not saying you should do that. That still haunts me these days.

But honestly, I feel I made the right decision. I feel good about the path I'm following.

I hope this helps. My best wishes man
Click to expand...

D4vidDG I appreciate you typing your story out like that. Yeah, what you went through is pretty much me during the AA Program haha. My AA is also not so bad that I can’t approach any girls at all. I really just want to get laid for now. Thanks for your comment.
 
Day 8f - AA Program
-Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
-Time, Directions, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave

Asked a cute girl (-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?). She said she wasn’t from my city and has never been to the restaurant I asked for but I still asked if she liked it etc.

Asked the first girl I saw for time she was with her boyfriend

Asked another girl (-Time, Directions, Have you been there?)

I walked past a guy and his friends today and he said „Look at that guy he looks gay“. I ignored him but it got me thinking wether I would even care about that after I finish the program.

Guess I gotta complete it to find out.

1 and a half sets to go for day 8 redo.
 
Got tested positive for Covid-19:

Just got tested positive for Covid so I won’t be able to do the drills for at least 7 days. I’ll come back stronger.

Crimson
 
Day 8g - AA Program

-Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
-Time, Directions, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave

I‘m back! 7 days have passed and I’m allowed back outside again. I’m well and healthy now my only symptoms were the flu.

Asked one middle aged woman (Time, Directions, Have you been there?).

One rep and then one set left to go for the day 8 redo completion!

When I was outside I felt like everybody was looking at me like I’m weird or creepy. Maybe it’s because I’ve been quarantined for 7 days. I feel quite inferior to everyone else.

See y’all tomorrow.

Crimson
 
Day 8h - AA Program
Asked two hot girls for the time today.
So no progress regarding the Program per se, but still exposure therapy.

I’m also proud of myself for asking them considering I haven’t done any drills (avoiding doing them) for like two weeks.

Crimson
 
Noself said:
Great to see that you’re back!
Click to expand...

Thanks bro, I see that you’re almost done! You got this! It’s very motivating to see you finish the Program, it shows me that it’s possible.
 
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