Foducossy
Member
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2023
I’m an attractive male in mid 20s in London. Ethnically Indian, culturally a mix of Asian/Western. I’m objectively good looking.
Anyway who gives a shit about my self-description. Check out my tinder profile here: [redacted]
I get a tonne of matches on online dating, too many for the days of the week in fact. When I started online dating a month ago, I had a wild week where I slept with 3 new girls, and in 3 weeks I slept with 5. After that it’s been terrible and I’ve not slept with anyone, though I did bring a girl home and make out with her — the chemistry was off, neither of us was super into each other sexually, she said we had friendly vibes and I agreed. I’ve also gone on a LOT of dates in the last 1/2 weeks (literally one of the weeks it was 6 dates in 6 days), and it’s been a waste of time.
My question is why? Several themes I am noticing.
1. Sometimes there are girls who I do not vibe with or have much in common with. Am I failing to filter out these girls? How do I filter them out ahead of time? Could I have still managed to sleep with them? If so, how? If I don’t think we vibe, how long should I give before I decide to end the date earlier?
2. Too many dates. This is subtle. I am caring much less about each girl because I have more and more matches now, and I think that scheduling too many dates in a row is possibly affecting my ability to connect with the girl? I’m an introvert and I’m not built for 6 dates in 6 nights. But I’m not sure if it’s this, or just an incompatibility between me and the girl and I’m just unlucky.
3. Not enough physical escalation. I don’t know if this is true. I start the date with a walk, and I initiate contact early on by guiding them across the road etc. During the date I am trying to touch them a bit but not a lot — this can be improved, surely. I don’t know if I should be more direct about touching. In my experience, it generally can happen quite naturally, and girls will send signals or relax into being physically closer to me, without me doing too much to break the touch barrier.
4. Not enough verbal escalation. This is a weak point for me. I don’t know much about this and can definitely benefit. My main thing is to try to listen more than I talk. I try to drop some qualifying questions too.
Also what are your thoughts on paying for the girl’s drink? I don’t feel it has an impact on how the date goes. And I’d rather spend that money on a Tinder boost (then again I’m already drowning in matches so maybe not.)
Anyway who gives a shit about my self-description. Check out my tinder profile here: [redacted]
I get a tonne of matches on online dating, too many for the days of the week in fact. When I started online dating a month ago, I had a wild week where I slept with 3 new girls, and in 3 weeks I slept with 5. After that it’s been terrible and I’ve not slept with anyone, though I did bring a girl home and make out with her — the chemistry was off, neither of us was super into each other sexually, she said we had friendly vibes and I agreed. I’ve also gone on a LOT of dates in the last 1/2 weeks (literally one of the weeks it was 6 dates in 6 days), and it’s been a waste of time.
My question is why? Several themes I am noticing.
1. Sometimes there are girls who I do not vibe with or have much in common with. Am I failing to filter out these girls? How do I filter them out ahead of time? Could I have still managed to sleep with them? If so, how? If I don’t think we vibe, how long should I give before I decide to end the date earlier?
2. Too many dates. This is subtle. I am caring much less about each girl because I have more and more matches now, and I think that scheduling too many dates in a row is possibly affecting my ability to connect with the girl? I’m an introvert and I’m not built for 6 dates in 6 nights. But I’m not sure if it’s this, or just an incompatibility between me and the girl and I’m just unlucky.
3. Not enough physical escalation. I don’t know if this is true. I start the date with a walk, and I initiate contact early on by guiding them across the road etc. During the date I am trying to touch them a bit but not a lot — this can be improved, surely. I don’t know if I should be more direct about touching. In my experience, it generally can happen quite naturally, and girls will send signals or relax into being physically closer to me, without me doing too much to break the touch barrier.
4. Not enough verbal escalation. This is a weak point for me. I don’t know much about this and can definitely benefit. My main thing is to try to listen more than I talk. I try to drop some qualifying questions too.
Also what are your thoughts on paying for the girl’s drink? I don’t feel it has an impact on how the date goes. And I’d rather spend that money on a Tinder boost (then again I’m already drowning in matches so maybe not.)