GN's Progress Log - Hottest Date from Online + One Of My Worst First Dates

[G.N]

10/28
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3227
Protein: 155g
Gym: 0/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

10/29
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3100
Protein: 159g
Gym: 1/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

10/30
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2921
Protein: 141g
Gym: 2/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

10/31
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2834
Protein: 135g
Gym: 2/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

11/1
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2956
Protein: 143g
Gym: 3/4
Meditation: No
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
Reading: No

11/2
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3355
Protein: 162g
Gym: 3/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

11/3
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 3199
Protein: 147g
Gym: 4/4
Meditation: No
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: No
Reading: No

 

[G.N]

11/4
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2309
Protein: 119g
Gym: 0/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

11/5
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2055
Protein: 143
Gym: 1/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

11/6
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2532
Protein: 137g
Gym: 2/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: No
Reading: No

11/7
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2126
Protein: 162g
Gym: 2/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

11/8
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2136
Protein: 116g
Gym: 3/4
Meditation: No
Journal: No
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: No
Skincare: Yes
Reading: No

11/9
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2409
Protein: 136g
Gym: 3/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

11/10
Daily Actions:
Today's Calories: 2159
Protein: 174g
Gym: 3/4
Meditation: Yes
Journal: Yes
30 Minute Phoneless Walk: Yes
Electronics off 1 hour before bed: Yes
Skincare: Yes
Reading: Yes

Initial Weight: 182.0

First Week: 180.6
Second Week:

Notes:

As of November 4th I ended my 6 month bulk and started with my cut. My final weight was 182 lbs up from 154. After the first week I am down to 180.6. I have about 2 months before grad school starts and I want to have my face and body looking good, mainly face for initial pictures and all that other stuff.

About three weeks before the end of the bulk I was experiencing pain in my wrist and joints so I took a deload the next week where I halved my weights but kept the volume the same. Came back the next week which would be the last week of the bulk and felt little to no wrist/joint pain. I made some pretty decent gains in the last month and I attached a progress comparison. Feeling a bit better about where I stand now. Before it felt like I covered every base when it came to looks except physique, now that’s not necessarily the case

Also, I just realized in a few days I’ll be able to switch out my current piercings with some more interesting ones. My current ideas are either these 4 star dangling ones, hoops, or another more “flashy” stud. I’ll attach my brother’s piercings for reference. Which one do you guys think would suit me? Or should I just experiment.

I’ve been able to keep 1 client as a regular for tutoring and so far it’s going pretty well. She said she did far better on the previous exam than the last one, and now she’s awaiting results of this other exam I helped her prepare for. A couple others I kind of cycled through but I’m happy to finally have a regular again.

When it comes to other habits I’ve stayed mostly consistent but broke consistency a bit as of late due to being busy with this one class exam I have to take before starting grad school, pathophysiology. It’s a lot of material for an 8 week course. I need at least a B to keep my admission. I did okay on the first exam but it has my grade right on the edge of a B so I have to do good on this next exam as it’s the only other exam I have. When I really think about it this is good preparation for nursing school as the cutoff between passing and failing is far harsher than anything I have experienced before.

Speaking of grad school I am 99% sure I will be moving to Phoenix for the next 1 or so year. I say 99 because there’s a low chance I get into this one SF school I applied to which is supposedly really good and grads from there are actually sought out by hospitals in the area.

I got into two schools in Cali but both seem like bad options. One is relatively new, expensive, and I am struggling to find people who vouch for this program. This one Cali school I got admission to is closeby but after doing some research I found out that if I went here I’d be struggling to find a job because they cut out an essential part of the accelerated nursing program, a preceptorship. Basically with a preceptorship I get taken under the wing of a mentor nurse who shows me the ropes and gets me clinical experience. They also can write you a letter of recommendation if I decide to do a doctorate (which I will need to become a CRNA). Also many of the hospitals do ask if you have done a preceptorship. I read into it some more and the tuition is mad expensive too, others were saying to make up for no preceptorship you’d have to do other nurse adjacent jobs.

It’s so stupid in retrospect that I ever considered/applied to that program. Why the fuck should I have to do more work and pay more money to be on the same level as someone who didn’t have to do either. I made a pretty big mistake though putting off deciding between this program and ASU (the one in Phoenix obv). Hard decisions are something I struggle with as a part of me wasn’t ready to leave home but also didn’t want to go somewhere really hot and also would be so different from my old life. I had said here before I wanted out of the Bay Area but I think I got used to it again. As much as I complain about stuff here it’s still home after all.

But ultimately my procrastinating idiot ass decided on ASU about a week before they set a deadline for some stuff I had to submit. That week was super fucking stressful as I had to do a shit ton of appointments to meet requirements. Also I had to get another CPR certification because they only accepted one specific organization and they didn’t care if the other one has the same exact curriculum. Also I had to do another TB test because they didn’t accept the way my hospital does them. I got an extension luckily because a couple were taking time to arrive back, but now I have everything and I just got my rotation for the spring semester assigned, so I’m in the process of filling out the paperwork for that. The process of moving is really daunting and the new standards for grad school being so different from undergrad is a lot to process, but it’s fair as I am focused on getting into the workforce here. I think I’ll get used to it within a couple weeks or so. I’m also uncertain about quality of life and dating/self improvement stuff. Ik there’s a good amount of Mexican people there and I got mistaken for a Hispanic in Mexico a lot, so I would like to think I’ll fare fine. Who really knows how much time I’ll even have for dating though but we’ll see. Gym wise if I can go 2-3 times a week most weeks that’ll be fine but I’ll have to budget my time. I just want to avoid getting too fat/losing my gains.

Phoenix does also have slightly more men but the ratio isn’t as bad as SJ. The girls are hotter I’ve been told. Also Scottsdale is 20 minutes away which has more women than men, and supposedly is a good market? Idk tho.

Another interesting life thing is I got high for the first time on Friday night. My best friend from high school invited me to his cousin sisters engagement party along with the rest of our group. We hung around at the party and one of my friends brought his bong so I joined them in going to our old high school campus. I got curious and they let me take a hit. The smoke hurt my throat but a little later I started feeling a chill in my body which I think was the start of the high. I also felt like I was phasing in and out of existence every millisecond. Being high was a fun feeling, I just felt really positive and also a tad goofy. I think I did get slightly paranoid at a time as I thought I was recognizing people I used to know even though when I showed up sober I didn’t.

The most interesting part though was I felt like I did more inner work in the 1-3 hours time I was decently high than I did in the last 2-3 months. I had an open convo with my friends when we broke away from the party about how I feel about myself and dating stuff. They know a good amount about my dating life so this isn’t anything too new. A lot of what I said was about how I felt like shit because of how many girls I’ve “fumbled” which include some talking stages, and just about how I’m not happy with my dating life because the girls I’ve gone out with recently are exponentially worse than what I’ve had before. I especially talked about how I was still upset over that one failed talking stage I thought had gf potential but I was hesitant to commit.

My best friend, the one who invited me said that I inspired him to start trying to lose weight again. He’s also a virgin and said that to him, what I’ve done is amazing and how I shouldn’t talk so negatively about myself. My female friend also mentioned a lot about how making yourself happy is what matters at the end of the day, and gave her own story about how initially her bf wasn’t accepted by her family, but still loved him anyway and now they’re engaged and she’s the happiest she’s ever been.

This is stuff I’ve heard before but I think being high just made me more open minded too, and I found it easier to internalize these positive thoughts. Now that I’m sober, I feel like I’ve overcome an obstacle in how I talk to myself. I’m not gonna say ive entirely moved on from these girls but I think I have moved forward, and I am able to combat these negative thoughts when they arise. I also feel more equipped after getting through nearly 2/3 of “you can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought”. Most of the advice the book gives is standard but there’s a few interesting tidbits. Noticing something negative is different from having a negative thought and usually when we act on it in some way is what is “bad” so to speak. I can use this for self talk so if I say something like “man I miss *insert girl I went on a date with here”, I acknowledge it but move on to another thought. The wrong thing to do would be to think like “oh man I don’t know if I’ll ever find a girl like that again” or “oh she’s so amazing all these other girls are nothing compared to her”. It’s not self serving at all, so best to avoid.

I won’t let my past failures drag down current and future successes.

 

[G.N]

Quick Updates:


Hope you all are doing well and your 2025 is off to a good start. I just realized its been over 4 months since my last post.


I won't even lie, my mental health kinda took a dive for some reason during my absence here. I started my cut fine but some part of me felt I could push myself further bulking. I made a good friend at the gym and i was talking with that friend and I came to the realization I was mainly only cutting for validation. Its a big issue of mine, really wanting the validation of the women I desire. Plus I didn't think my face looked THAT bad so I figured I would just bulk till the end of the year, maintain for a few weeks before and during the first week or so of grad school, and then cut.

During this time though my body dysmorphia got really out of control and I was obsessed with looking at myself in the mirror. Whenever I felt like I looked worse in one mirror vs another I always fretted over which is the "real" me. The root of that whole issue was just me wanting that women perceive me as attractive. I noted how I struggled to get decent chicks out from apps for a while and since I thought the only thing i didn't have "dialed in" was my physique I thought that was the issue. I really now feel though I had a bigger issue with my texting. It was clear I just wanted to get them out and I didn't make much effort in trying to get to know them. Plus severe scarcity mentality causing me to come off overeager even with girls who didn’t reciprocate. I came off desperate for a date.

I initially didn't feel like posting in the past few months because I felt like I was an embarrassment to the WW community because of the internal battles I have in my head which lead to periods of inaction and struggle. But I realize now that that isn't true, losers get knocked down and don't get back up. Winners do.

My confidence tanked AGAIN and my porn addiction got worse again too even though I was keeping it at bay for a while. It was a coping mechanism for me. Eventually it did start outwardly affecting my behaviors and my family did pick up on it. My mom was persistently asking me what was wrong, and eventually I came out saying I didn't want to tell her because of what happened a few months ago last time I opened up. She got upset for the way I talked to her but she understood what I said, and so far an instance like that has not happened again. I did eventually tell her that I felt unconfident again about myself and also about my career. As how I wasn't sure how I would fare in nursing school as everyone says its super hard and yadda. Also the social aspect as being one of the only guys in a setting and trying to socialize with women I haven't had the best experiences. In that conversation I realized a lot of the issues come from the fact I dwell super hard on my failures. Like having 4 not great dates in a row, which made me feel like I don’t deserve better. Even I brought up how retarded I felt when I tried to pivot into academia for a year and now it feels like despite wanting to do healthcare as a longterm profession I am out of my mind going into nursing.


One thing she said that really stuck with me was something like "you act like your failures and fuckups are posted on you like sticky notes and you can't remove them, thats not true". She also brought up her experiences doing her teaching credentials in the 2000s US, which was a pretty shitty ass time to be a South Asian. She mentioned how some of the people she worked under HATED her for not much reason, and even said racist things like "go back to India". Tbf she did say she messed up at times, but so does literally everyone as a student, and nearly got held back as a result. But 15 years later she is constantly praised for her ability. She literally gets a whole trunk full of gifts before the end of a semester. She told me she could have let the racism and hate she got get to her and define her but instead she defines herself by her own skills, and the results the value she brings adds. That was really powerful for me. I can do the same shit with my career as sure my undergrad was really rocky, and the transition to grad is gonna be a challenge but I can add value in some way as a nurse before I go into advanced practice.


Anyway I didn't want to post until I managed to actually "bounce back" a little bit. And I kind of have. Right before I left California I challenged myself to go up to this cute chick at the gym and just say what was on my mind (respectfully of course). Though interestingly enough she was working on a machine that I wanted to use next so I asked to work in and formed conversation there. It was towards the end of my workout so I just was straight up saying I thought she was cute and I wanted to let her know that because I wouldn't be here for much longer. She responded pretty positively for a girl at the gym. I asked her if she was single and she said yes. I got her number, started a little convo but it went dead, Ill try to reignite closer to spring break as she works around where I am from but its not a major focus.


I redownloaded Hinge and Bumble, no Tinder because its given me too many issues with bans and its a bot infested wasteland last I used it. Bumble is kinda dead tho so all of my dates have just been from Hinge.


I had a pretty tough time transitioning into nursing school, unlike how school was before where they slowly ease you into the curriculum, my first week I already got a fuck ton of assignments due throughout the week. The first few weeks of school were really stressful. It never really slowed down until week 6. I also got kinda caught up reading the news more than usual with the political situation right now. That really fucked with me for a while. I ended up in a negative cycle where I had goals but I got so bogged down by it that I struggled to get off my ass and accomplish my goals. Whether that was getting a gf, reducing porn, approaching, eating healthy, etc.


I had to wake myself up and remind myself what was more important, accomplishing my goals or stressing about stuff I can’t really control. My main thing is I just feel horrible for those who are affected by the situation, but I am lucky I am priveliged enough a lot of it won’t be as much a problem for me. I turned off all news, unfollowed everyone who posted politics often on their story, and only really stay informed from my friend who keeps up with politics more than me. In the end I only hurt myself if I don’t make an effort to my goals.

Before the program started we got introduced to our clinical groups. My group has 6 girls and 2 guys including me. Me and the other guy became friends basically right away, and he drives me to clinicals whenever we have them. I have also been working on building good friendships with the girls in my group, which has made it easier for me to approach other girls as well, as I remember talking to women is not as scary as it may seem. Most of the girls in my program have boyfriends so I have kinda just kept that off limits unless a girl is clearly showing interest in me. Still good for social circle purposes + rapport. I also have 3 roommates now, and I am pretty cool with all of them. One of them I feel like is a carbon copy of me so we relate to each other really well, good friend. The other is pretty introverted but chill. And the last one came later in the semester, but he is super cool. He is pansexual and has a ton of female friends so I am maintaining that friendship so I can build a social circle to meet girls through those means too.

Ive been going to the gym less now, I only really care about maintaining muscle/cutting, but I won’t lie I have been really lazy about tracking my calories. But focusing on other parts of my life has helped keep the body dysmorphia at bay. I would much rather focus on being more sociable with women. Because gymcels are a real thing, you see these guys with insane physiques but they can’t speak to women for shit. Gym won’t be as useful to my current goals. My top 2 priorities are doing good in nursing school and approaching. Im not saying im gonna let myself go but I think these two are far more important.


I started cold approaching again a couple of weeks ago, I did about 20 ish in the first week, then the next week I was prepping for an exam so I only did about 6-7. So far this week I have done 8. I have more free time this week now that my exam is over so I will try to do above 20. I try to set a quota on days I don’t have clinical, lab, or lecture of 5 approaches, but if I can at least get 1 because I am too anxious or whatever that is good. It actually becomes kinda easy and fun once I get past the first one. I scheduled 2 cold approach dates, one super cute latina for today, and a super cute Italian exchange student for Friday.

I was still using porn to cope with stress but whenever I tried to quit I tried to also go on nofap because I wanted to be in good shape for dates if I managed to get her to come back to mines. But this didn't work out, I tried a lot. I think noporn but being ok with masturbating is fine. Im only a couple days in again but so far so good, got some bad urges though. I still get the benefits I want, and its easier to stay away from porn. I know quitting when you are single is tough but I am fine as long as I can avoid gooning for long periods of time. If I have a night where I am just horny and I load up the hub for some time before bed, thats okay as long as its not super frequent. I am trying to get a gf or just a regular FWB so it becomes easier to stop watching.


I also bought a month of Hinge X around the start of February. I have had about 12 dates from it, 10 first dates and two second dates. I have many more planned as well. Arizona girls are significantly more quality than Bay Area girls thank fuck I moved here. I have been getting less matches though, but better quality. I also want to take a more relaxed approach to dating and not let bs things some girls do phase me, cuz before whenever a date didn’t go the way I wanted I would go back to my room or car and just get angry. But tbf this is wasted energy. I figured out a texting “script” to convert matches to dates better, and even changed my opener.


I’ll give a brief summary of all the dates I’ve been on so far in next posts. I’m gonna make my update post multi-part.

 

[Squilliam]

I initially didn't feel like posting in the past few months because I felt like I was an embarrassment to the WW community because of the internal battles I have in my head which lead to periods of inaction and struggle. But I realize now that that isn't true, losers get knocked down and don't get back up. Winners do.

Never feel this way bro. If you decide you need a break and then want to come back, we will welcome you back with open arms.

You sound like you are doing well. Keep up the good work.

 

[G.N]

→Black Journalism Student (2 dates):


Her face was kinda mid but her body was pretty sexy. Nice tits, round ass, and relatively fit. Great personality, kind of bubbly. Met her at a coffee shop nearby. Got her to come back to mines, turns out she lives in the same apartment lol. We made out and got naked. Her body was really soft, and I feel like a massive idiot for not trying to enjoy it more and just rushing. She made me cum from a BJ, but I had issues here where my dick went soft because I put a lot of pressure on myself to fuck her, plus I had a lot due the next day so I was kinda stressing about school. She was nice about it though, but goddamn I was bummed because I was so close to my third lay. After the date I talked with the gc and they suggested to order cialis, which I initially resisted but I found on reddit some people said it did cure their performance anxiety, so I found out how to get a prescription and I ordered it.


It was supposed to arrive before my second date with her but there was a snowstorm in the state it was supposed to be shipped out of so it got delayed. Thing is she was kind of busy so I had to keep the date we set up the same as I tried to schedule it quickly after my cialis ETA. I am kinda pissed with myself that I just threw away a potential 3rd lay because I felt so unconfident in myself. Lesson learned, ALWAYS try to straight to house the second date no matter what. So I just said fuck it and we went to this one ramen place closeby, split checks though so I don’t feel too bad. I would have taken her back to my room after but midway through the date she told me she had assignments she needed to finish so she’d have to go back to her room right after we left the ramen spot.


I tried to set up a third date, straight to room, for after my cialis arrived, and she initially accepted but a couple days later she texts me her schedule is getting too crazy and she isn’t sure she can see anyone right now, so that was ended. What a shame, but I learned from this girl the importance of just focusing on the girl and just enjoying yourself/taking it slow rather than pressuring myself to fuck her.


→Zambian Baddie (2 dates):


This girl was from Zambia but moved to Arizona for school in photography/art. She was pretty fucking attractive imo, curvy with a big ass and tits. Her makeup, fashion, and African accent really elevated her attractiveness. Our conversations were really good, managed to get her back to my place. I was able to escalate and make out but we ended up stopping because I think she got kinda scared. Not of me but I think it may have just been internal issues with her. Being from a foreign country and all that her upbringing wasn’t that great, caused her a lot of issues. We talked for some time after, then she went home. I liked her a lot overall so I had some hope of seeing gf potential. Also this is the first girl I have ever been with where other cute girls on the street were calling her pretty and stuff.


Next date I had my cialis so I tried for straight to house, I just thought at the time of the first date maybe she didn’t want to fuck on the first date because of her whole rule thing, but turns out she is actually demisexual (found out later). I was like, well I aint fuckin her any time soon. We made pasta and watched a movie together for this date, but at some point when I was trying to escalate she shut me down. And it felt like she was treating me like a therapist. She told me how she deleted Hinge because she got sick of it, saying guys were fetishizing her and stuff. It kinda became apparent to me she is kinda closed off because of her past and I feel like I am pulling all the emotional weight of a possible relationship. She went home a bit earlier, and the next day texted me she wanted to “take some time for herself” and deactivated her IG.


→Basic White Girl:


I matched with this basic white chick, average looking but overall fit and cute so I was good about it. I scheduled the date literally the day after I matched with her. Met at the coffee shop, and I got a feel for her. Nice girl but super cuck, mentioned how she didn’t like how a guy she went on a date with wanted to kiss on the first date. Also found her kind of boring overall, so I offered to walk with her about 20 minutes in, we walked to her car and I hugged her bye. Wasn’t gonna waste my time with someone I didn’t vibe with.


→Shortstack White Girl (2 Dates):


I was supposed to have a date with some other white girl but she unmatched me on Hinge and went radio-silent for a few days before the date when I sent a followup confirmation text. I matched with this girl a couple days before I was supposed to meet the other girl, so I scheduled her in her place. I was a bit scared for this date. She had no lower body pictures, was super short (4ft 11) but her face was gorgeous so I wanted to give her a chance. If she was fat I would just end the date quick. Anyway I got to the place, she calls me saying she is having a tough time parking so it will be a minute. She eventually gets here and to my surprise she’s not fat, actually really fucking cute too. She wore a shirt showing cleavage which was hot and her jeans fit her real nice. We got our coffee and sat down, but told me the parking situation had her feeling jittery cuz some guy yelled at her so I suggested we go on a walk.


Convo was pretty good, her voice is really soft and cute so that just made her more attractive. We walked around the downtown area and held hands. Time to time I put my hand around her back when leading her somewhere. I led her to my apartment but she said she wanted to walk around more, I thought okay maybe it is a little too early in the date, at least for my experience level, I should give it more time. At some point she said she wanted to get cookies so she asked me if I wanted to drive somewhere with her, I suggested we go to a cookie spot down the street. Doing a bit of an Andy strategy where I listen to the girl but I still find a way to lead. We went there, and she insisted on paying because I paid for our coffee so I let her. Unfortunately she didn’t like the cookie she got so I offered her some of mine but she refused since mine had walnuts in it. We walked back to her car after and decided to drive around. Went to a parking lot close to a convenience store and near my place. Picked up some snacks.


We talked for some time in her car, and I tried to escalate but it didn’t seem like it was landing. She called me out at one point saying that she knows I have been looking at her boobs. And in a split second I had like a billion scared thoughts running through my head like oh that she’s gonna call me a perv, report me, or just the date is gonna be over now. But I caught myself, kinda gave too serious of a retort saying that she’s hella short so I have to tilt my head down to make eye contact so her boobs are just in view. But then she was like “oh that was my intention, I wore something showing cleavage cuz I think you’re really handsome”. So I was kinda flattered, it’s nice knowing that cute girls will put some effort into being appealing to you being a formerly super undesirable guy.


We kinda joked about it for a little bit, tried to use it to ramp up escalation, put my hands on her breasts, and she’s receptive to touch but not really kissing initiation. She says she doesn’t want to go back my place because she’s not sure if “she will have self control”. What the fuck does that even mean, well I do know what it means but I have never had a girl say something like this to my face. Im like tryna figure this shit out, and she is like “yeah you can fuck me, but I just don’t want to right now”, and we got into the whole thing about how she is looking for a relationship. I said I was too, but also included a bunch of yadda about physical intimacy.


Kinda found out things that turned her on, so I thought I could use that for the second date. But her dad called, and she said she had to go home so she dropped me back at mines and said our goodbyes.


And as for the second date we planned that further, and oh good god I fumbled HARD. She picked me up outside my place, we found some parking in the arts district. She doesn’t come down to the area much so I thought this would be a nice area to show her around. When we got out of the car I hugged her and put my hand on her ass but she said not to do that because we are in public. It made sense, but my rationale was last time she was fine with me getting handsy with her tits in the parking lot and there was nobody around. But damn I still fucked up. I got too horny for my own good.


There was a really nice bar I wanted to take her to. We walked around a bit, got to the bar and then she was like “oh my dad doesn’t want me going to bars late at night”. I did try and challenge this but ultimately failed. We walked some more, stopped by a few shops, and she bought an incense. I tried to seed going to my place, asking if she wanted get some food. She said no, and I tried to challenge it. I referenced back to some of the sexual stuff she said on her first date and she got really upset with me for saying that out loud even though nobody was around to hear.


Fuck me man, my tism got me in some trouble. But that basically destroyed anything I could have had with her. So we just drove back to mines and she dropped me off. I apologized for my behavior and made it clear we won’t see each other again.


What I learned from this girl was that I can’t switch up my vibe between dates. I think on the 1st date I was too boyfriendy, and then second date I tried to be more sexual. So note to self don’t do that. I talked to @Akilles7 about this and said I at least did a good thing screening her out.

 

[G.N]

Triracial Girl:


I was supposed to meet with this girl a few days prior to when I did see her, but had to reschedule as I forgot to send a confirmation text. She was hard to schedule as she works as a CNA and a Server. Only time I could get with her was a random weekday noon. But anyway she showed up a bit late. Her hair looked a little thinner than her pictures and her face a tad flabbier but overall she looked really cute, nice ass too. First time I met a girl who is triracial (she is part black, hispanic, and white)


Date itself was okay, we broke the ice over the fact I am a nursing student and she has been a CNA for some time. She asked what hospital I did my shifts at and I told her where. She said she hates that hospital cuz her mom passed away there. I expressed my sympathies, but she kinda just started trauma dumping about her life and how she had to mature faster. Threw me off but figured I’d let her yap to get her comfortable so if I can’t fuck her this date I can do it next date. When I steered the conversation away from that to stuff like interests there wasn’t much of a connection. I don’t want to be with someone where the only thing we can connect on is work. So I knew this wasn’t gonna work out, walked her back to her car and hugged her goodbye.


Ukranian Girl:


At this point I basically have a usual spot where I take girls out on dates. She showed up in a really pretty sundress, fitting as it was reallty hot this day. This was a good date overall, our interests aligned, she was fun to talk to, and I was able to comfortably break the touch barrier minus hand holding when we later decided to walk down to the closeby outdoor market to check it out. Dunno why some girls are fine with me putting my arm around them but not holding hands. Maybe I am just making too big of a deal out of this. Not much time into the date she said her brother just came down to pick her up cuz they made plans, so we went back to the coffee shop and she went over to her brothers car.


Tall Black Girl:


This was probably the tallest girl I have ever been on a date with, she is 5ft 10. I was a bit anxious going to this date as my real height is 5ft 10 as well but I put 5ft 11 on my profile. Luckily the shoes I wear do have thicker soles so I was able to appear taller than her. She looked a lot better in person, slender figure with a cute ass.


She is really sweet, and I like her personality a lot. She is asking me a lot of questions though which didn’t really give me as much room to get to know her, but I enjoyed it as it is a nice feeling when people take interest in trying to get to know me. Of course I managed to get her to talk. The place was closing soon though and it was windy out so I used this as an excuse to bring her back to my place which she was compliant with. We got to mines, talked for a bit. I escalated, and we started making out even though she kinda teased me for moving fast but said she thought I was handsome so its fine.


UNFORTUNATELY, someone called her and she had to go take the call. Then she told me she had to go to some event meaning she had to leave my place in about 10 minutes. I was fucking pissed but I remained calm. We kissed a bit, then we had to leave mines so she could go to her car and drive to that event. I tried to hold her hand but again she teased me about moving too fast. I told her her profile said she wanted casual. And I said I wanted the same, she said that she is looking for an FWB but wants to get to know the person before the “benefits”. Okay whatever, I just walked her back to her car and kissed her goodbye.


Seriously whoever was on that call just fucking blue-balled me and I really hope their pillow is warm on both sides every night they sleep. I texted her the next day, radio silent. Damn.


Phlebotomist Girl:


I rescheduled on this girl the first time we agreed to meet as I was feeling incredibly lightheaded and just knew I don’t want to go into a date like that. We agreed to meet the next Monday, then had to reschedule to Tuesday cuz something with her aunt came up. But anyway this girl got stuck in traffic so she showed up hella late.


I was honestly considering just canceling and then ghosting her cuz I didn’t think she was super attractive or special or anything but figured I would go through with it as I had plenty of time on my hands, it helps with abundance mentality, and there is experience to be had. Anyway she shows up, she’s a darkskin black woman, pretty average looking but not ugly. I ran into a similar issue with her as I did with the Triracial girl where it feels like we only connect over working in healthcare, minus the trauma dumping. I don’t feel that much romantic attraction to her as I don’t feel like she is that feminine. I have been noticing this issue I have with darkskin black girls, and I feel guilty for saying this, but I just don’t get a whole lot of feminine vibes from a lot of them. She still seems pretty cool as a person tho, more suited to friends tbh. Its cuz of this I didn’t really try to break the touch barrier as I felt little attraction to her despite her not being bad looking at all.


Anyway we leave the place as I planned to just end the date within 30-45 min, and while walking we ran into her friend. She introduced me to her, and I eventually got her to her car and hugged her goodbye. Meh date.

 

[Squilliam]

I really hope their pillow is warm on both sides every night they sleep.

Dude I’m dying

 

[kratjeuh]

We got to mines, talked for a bit. I escalated, and we started making out even though she kinda teased me for moving fast but said she thought I was handsome so its fine.


UNFORTUNATELY, someone called her and she had to go take the call. Then she told me she had to go to some event meaning she had to leave my place in about 10 minutes. I was fucking pissed but I remained calm. We kissed a bit, then we had to leave mines so she could go to her car and drive to that event. I tried to hold her hand but again she teased me about moving too fast. I told her her profile said she wanted casual. And I said I wanted the same, she said that she is looking for an FWB but wants to get to know the person before the “benefits”. Okay whatever, I just walked her back to her car and kissed her goodbye.

If a girl says you’re moving too fast, try to teasingly de-escalate too hard. Its the perfect tease back as she does want it but you’re not needy and are cool taking it away from her.

From reading this I’m 90% sure she texted a friend somewhere along the line to call her. Most likely she texted prior to going to your place and said she would answer if she wanted to get away and would ignore the call if she was super into you.

Girls who really like you don’t suddenly pick up the phone and have to go to an event just 10min later. You got close to a lay and somewhere you kinda screwed up. Try to think where you lost it a little bit and learn from it for next time.

Good post btw, happy to see you doing well

 

[G.N]

If a girl says you’re moving too fast, try to teasingly de-escalate too hard. Its the perfect tease back as she does want it but you’re not needy and are cool taking it away from her.

From reading this I’m 90% sure she texted a friend somewhere along the line to call her. Most likely she texted prior to going to your place and said she would answer if she wanted to get away and would ignore the call if she was super into you.

Girls who really like you don’t suddenly pick up the phone and have to go to an event just 10min later. You got close to a lay and somewhere you kinda screwed up. Try to think where you lost it a little bit and learn from it for next time.

Good post btw, happy to see you doing well

Hey thanks man, glad to see you back here.



I think I just screwed up bringing her back to my place too fast before building up proper comfort. Sure she was receptive to it but it was more like “I’ll just go along with whatever” rather than actually wanting to go. I should have taken her to a diff venue close to my place first before bringing her to mines, and broken the touch barrier a little more. Also, should have gotten her to chat more as sure it was in her character to take interest in me, I didn’t steer the convo in an optimal direction for attraction.

 

[G.N]

Last 4 Dates:

->Redhead Girl:

This girl and I were texting much before the date, seems like over text we had good chemistry as she expressed great interest in me making her my signature pasta, which is one of my prompts. She seemed really excited to meet me. I tried to get her to meet me where I am but she said her schedule would make it tough to come down, so I just said f it and took the campus shuttle to Tempe. I found a really cool coffee shop there and I’ve been meaning to check out the area so this date is a great reason to do that.

When the date came around I did feel like I got slightly catfished. Her acne looked really subtle in her pictures but it was way worse up close. And she wore a hoodie and jeans. She was a nice girl overall, and I thought okay maybe her interest over text and her living closeby should make something possible.


But overall the date vibes were okay, nothing super exciting to where I’d want to see her again. I tried to see if we can go back to hers but she said she was super busy. Wasn’t too bummed though.

If I got anything out of this date it’s that since Tempe is where the main ASU Campus is, this place is cold approach paradise, since also it’s a smaller city, stuff is much closer together. Phoenix is super spread out. I did a few approaches before and after my date including this one white girl who was taller than me lol.

->Blonde Nursing Student:

I wasn’t expecting a whole lot of this date, this chick was super busy and only had like a 1-ish hour window to see me before spring break, and she also had a class afterwards. From her pics she just looked like an average dirty blonde white girl. Still, seemed nice enough over text.

Holy shit though when I saw her in the flesh she looked 10x better in person. She must have dyed her hair blonde again and had blue eyes which I couldn’t tell from her pics. Nice tits too and she had cool style. Gave her a hug when I met her, she apologized that she got kind of late because she took the wrong exit.

We vibed for a good amount of time over the fact we were both nursing students. Funny enough we both had the idea of switching the topic at the same time. Vibes were good, broke touch barrier by talking about her ear piercings. This a bit funny but she took off her jacket at one point and was wearing a sleeveless turtleneck which really made her tits stand out when she leaned back. Oh good lord that was a turn on.

She’s from a different city so I suggested we walk around a bit. I figured since sleeping with her this date was unlikely, if I build comfort with her and the area it should be easier for next time. But still, sucks when I can’t get girls to give me much of their time. I put my hand on her back when walking with her, I tried to go for holding her hand two or so times but she was not receptive to it.

She had to get back for class so we went to her car and she checked the time fearing she may be late. We quickly hugged goodbye and she drove off. I texted her the next day turns out she did get late and got a 10% point deduction for that day. Didn’t respond to my text after that so maybe that ticked her off a little idk. My date with her was good but def didn’t feel like we connected on a level that could make a second date easier for her.

Cute Latina (Cold Approach):

I approached this girl over a week prior to our date. I think I mentioned here that we had like a pseudo insta date as she was waiting for her grandpa to pick her up. She’s a super cute basic Latina. We sat down outside a smoothie bowl shop which is where I approached her and talked for like 20 minutes. She’s super talkative, great vibe overall, getting lots of IOIs. I just straight asked her if she’s single, and she said yes. I got her number, said bye.

I texted her the next day, super enthusiastic response so felt good. I responded and she went radio silent. Day after I sent a follow-up, still nothing. I forget about her. Couple days go by she hits me back and sends me like 20 messages about all the crazy shit that’s happened to her and apologized for not responding. Like her adopting a cat, leaving her sorority, and just other school shit. But out of all that she did tell me when she was free for a date. So I immediately jumped on that. We talked for a good amount before the date.

I thought she was gonna wanna reschedule at one point though as she said she got a mild concussion from getting hit with a volleyball during practice. It gave her temporary amnesia and also nausea. So I figured it would be the perfect thing for her to reschedule, but interestingly she never brought it up. If anything every couple of voice messages or so she mentioned how excited she was to see me. In terms of her investment that was a super good sign.

Anyway date comes around I show up, wait outside as I wanted to try something Akilles suggested. But 10 or so minutes go by and I think she’s not gonna show up. I messaged her that I was here a couple minutes after our agreed time. It’s a little cold out so I decide I’ll just wait inside and find a place to sit. Turns out right as I do that she’s right there. Said that she got here before me and already got a drink lol. I almost always show up before the girl except maybe one other time. I still greeted her with a hug. Found a nice couch to sit on. This is a new place I wanted to try, diff from my usual spot. But honestly I think I may make this my new usual. The lights are dimmer, which is more romantic. And also more seating and couches to make escalation and touch easier. Only issue is it’s a little farther from my place.

I say we sit on this couch and talk for a bit. I just ask her about the stuff that’s been going down recently in her life, get her talking. My goal with this date is to not make the same mistakes as I did with my first cold approach date. Overall I think making her talk more than me is super easy. She has a birthmark on her upper left eye so I use that to break the touch barrier besides the hug. Goes over well. We do talk more about interests, and we have a lot in common with food/baking and all that. Break touch barrier again with touching her hair and putting my arm around her. I do that a couple times, and she leans in a bit close to my head when I show her something on my phone.

I seed a second date where we bake something together.

I made sure not to ask about past relationships. When it comes to the verbal I realize I need to go with topics that could build attraction. That whole past stuff doesn’t build attraction. And I guess that’s also why it’s common knowledge not to talk about religion and politics on a first date either. This girl did ask me about my religion and I was like “oh I usually don’t talk about this on a first date”, but she was open with me about it so I was too. I was hesitant as I thought if I said something she didn’t like it would kill my chances. But fuck it, she’ll have to know eventually.

At one point I do pick up on the fact she literally has not taken a sip of the drink she ordered. I did a small callout as I found it a tad strange, she brought up the fact she had headaches early in the day and got some throughout the previous so she’s drinking it really slowly. I said to her that the tea I make every morning usually helps with headaches and that we can go back to mines so I can make her some. She said she was down but she said he had a test tomorrow she had to study for and she already planned for her mom to pick her up at a certain time. Damnit, so close.

Anyway we leave the place, and she gets a call from her mom so she tells her to pick her up closer to campus. So we walk there. Convo is good, I go to hold her hand and she’s receptive to it. We get to where she was gonna get picked up. I felt like I could have kissed her here but I don’t know if she would want to be seen kissing a guy in front of her mom so I just settled on a hug. I can’t lie though I fumbled the bag so hard at the end. This is def the best girl I’ve been on a date with in a long ass time. And I unfortunately got kind of needy and tried to schedule the second date, and she told me the days she’s free but for time she will let me know. The words “I’ll let you know” from a girl you’re interested in are some of the worst ever words to hear.

I texted her day after late morning, wishing her luck on her test. She did respond later in the day, saying it was alright and asked how I was doing. I responded, but got nothing after.

I been beating myself up over this a lot. I felt good about the fact I didn’t feel nearly as nervous for this date as I did my first CA date. I didn’t make most of the same mistakes as I did that first CA date either, but I think that last bit of neediness may have cost me. Though I can’t say for sure. Sucks though, I felt like our vibes were really good.


Italian Girl (Cold Approach):

I approached this cute girl a week prior at the grocery store. Great vibes, tells me she’s from Italy studying business here now. Texted her the next day, got a quick response. Managed to schedule the date for next week Friday right before spring break.

Heading into the date though I just had absolutely no energy left. I was feeling super shitty. I garbled the timeline on my log but my second date with the short big titty white girl where I fumbled super hard was the day prior (Thursday). And before that date was my cold approach date with the Latina that I thought my neediness caused me to fumble (Wednesday). And I had the date with the blonde nursing student that same Wednesday which also ghosted me. So treading on the heels of a ghost and two fumbles was not great, if it wasn’t another cold approach date I would have canceled it.

I show up to this other coffee shop, closer to where she’s at but not too far from me. She still gets lost trying to find it as there is no sign outside the shop. Eventually she does find me. I greet her with a hug.

Really though I just did not feel like trying at all this date when it comes to building attraction and all that. I had a lot of dates in the last two weeks so that burnout was also catching up with me. She’s a nice girl though, and had a unique background. She’s from Milan and was showing me some cool shit from her home. She also told me how she loves that instagram helps her stay connected with her home city and country. She asked me what my @ was so I show her. And she sends me a follow request. Learning about her was pretty fun at least. I did find out she is really Christian and also going back to Italy in May. So I used it as justification for not pursuing anything with her. I may just chat with her as a friend time to time.

I walk her back to hers, hug her goodbye. Three cold approach dates in roughly 100+ cold approaches isn’t half bad, but part of me feels this week having two CA dates was super lucky and it’s gonna take a while before I get another one now. Regardless I think the girls I meet through CA are higher quality so I’ll keep doing it.

 

[G.N]

Additional Updates:

Two weeks prior to spring break I matched with this one girl and we agreed to meet one Saturday evening. She texted me saying that she wasn’t feeling well so would reschedule. But she also felt bad so she suggested talking over the phone, which we did. We talked for a few hours which I didn’t expect, so vibe wise I had a good feeling.

Throughout the week before seeing her though I felt like I was slightly losing attraction. She’s much older than me at 26. She wasn’t that cute either but this took place before a bulk of my recent dates so I figured I’d have to take what I can get. She told me stuff like how guys give her shit about being single with no kids at her age. Also, she’s talking about concerns about accidentally getting pregnant and finances. Like bitch we haven’t even met yet, we’re not on Love is Blind we’re not getting married in a couple weeks.

Our rescheduled date we agreed to meet at this mall and get boba. But on the day of she told me her friends want to get brunch the next day and money is tight. Plus also the area isn’t safe to walk at night according to her. Okay, I try to move the date to straight to house. Cook some food together and then watch a movie, hopefully escalate from there.

She’s opposed to this initially, as I tell her to come Uber to mines. Though I also suggested ubering to hers since from a picture or two it looked much nicer, but she said her roommate wasn’t comfortable with it. We back and forth a lot, and she also says something about how she’s not a 50/50 woman, which is like bruh cuz she has a full time job and I’m a student. Eventually she does agree to come to mines but says I have to pay for uber one way and also we have to order out as she thinks cooking is a chore.

This shit set me off, I felt disrespected as I mean while I wanna get laid I am seeking an LTR. And this is one thing I want to do for a girl, but for her to say that I straight up told her I feel disrespected. I also wanted to call her out saying that she’s constantly going on about concerns when this is stuff you talk about much later with a potential partner. She got defensive, and honestly I almost told her to go fuck herself, as well as a slew of hurtful things about how she’s gonna end up single and alone because her behavior is why men don’t want to date her. She should go back on Hinge and find some other simp to spend money on her mid ass. I didn’t do this though as I figured I’d be proving her preexisting worldview right.

I told my roommate about this as he has experience with a super toxic ex who was a serial cheater. I showed him the texts and he told me just keep it respectful, and be blunt. So I was, I called her out on the disrespect and how I thought she was behaving strange. Though maybe the latter is just attributed to age difference. I don’t get her deal about being 26 and no kids/single. People get married and have kids above the age of 30 all the fucking time. If anything that’s completely normal now with how expensive shit is. Plus we are in Arizona, not the fucking Deep South where some girls get married straight out of high school. Needless to say I blocked her and saved a lot of money.

Speaking of money I nearly got scammed out of 100$ or more. I matched with some chick online and she was super hot. Massive tits and great figure. We were talking and her profile looked legit, I got her number. The problem was though when I tried to schedule a date. She was like “oh you should book a massage and we can hookup too” and also saying how she usually charges 150$ but would charge me only 100$. I was down on my luck, not having the best day so I almost gave in. I also have been meaning to get one at some point.

But usually whenever I pay for a service I usually give the money after but she insisted I pay half beforehand, also no cash. I told her that I am still skeptical so we should FaceTime, but when I picked a time she left me on read. I had talked to @ProgressEvolution about this while I was still talking to her and he said likely it’s a scam, and was the one who suggested FaceTiming her.

I found out later on my burner email I use for Hinge that she got banned for fraudulent behavior, so he was right. Thank fuck I didn’t give in.

Also some good news, in the summer I’ll be able to have my own place and a car. My mom is buying a new car soon and decided to just give me her old one since it’s more reliable and can handle Arizona heat much better. This will make dating a ton easier and I’ll be able to go more places. Walking everywhere can suck ass sometimes. Gas is much cheaper out here too and the insurance payments aren’t anything insane.

On another note I notice I’ve been losing my passion for the gym. I don’t know if it’s just the fact I’m cutting or just that I have other priorities. I think I’m also just bitter about the fact that focusing on it gave me such horrible body dysmorphia that I believed I was undesirable and that’s not the case. I thought looking better would make it easier for me to talk to girls, but the only thing that actually helps in talking to girls is ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKING TO GIRLS, which is what I have realized in all my recent dates, cold approaches, and socializing in my program. I haven’t been taking my creatine regularly so that could also be contributing, it does give me a lot of benefits outside the gym though. I bought another tub of it so I have started taking it regularly again. I stopped taking pre as well as I consume a lot of caffeine as it is to stay awake for studying, may invest in a caffeine free pre later on. Regardless, I still try to go to the gym 3x a week, but I only do a few exercises, focusing on compounds. So far no noticeable muscle loss, and I’m down from 183-184 to 176.

I won’t lie though it stings that I’ve been on a lot of dates recently and haven’t gotten much result in terms of lays or retention. I think I’m playing it too safe and behaving too boyfriendy. I wanted to go at this again trying to be more authentic, and it’s clear to me that I want an LTR, but it seems I’m going about it wrong. I don’t want to scare off potential LTRs just cuz she doesn’t wanna fuck first date but also don’t want to not try and build sexual attraction early on. I’ll have to do better trying to suss out their vibe. The girls I’ve been able to bring back to mines and successfully escalate on generally just went with the flow. So I think that’ll be something I should look out for here on out.

I initially wasn’t going to do this but I’m gonna buy another month of HingeX. I’ve got a little over a month before Phoenix becomes unbearably hot and idk what the dating scene is gonna be like when that happens.

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

We talked for a few hours which I didn’t expect, so vibe wise I had a good feeling.

This was your first mistake imo. If you had Scotty-levels of experience, it wouldn't be an issue to talk on the phone. But for the rest of us mortals talking so long will take us from "fuck boys" to "boyfriend/simp material." As a principle, even if I'm doing nothing, I reject invitations to call/video chat.

I won’t lie though it stings that I’ve been on a lot of dates recently and haven’t gotten much result in terms of lays or retention. I think I’m playing it too safe and behaving too boyfriendy. I wanted to go at this again trying to be more authentic, and it’s clear to me that I want an LTR, but it seems I’m going about it wrong. I don’t want to scare off potential LTRs just cuz she doesn’t wanna fuck first date but also don’t want to not try and build sexual attraction early on. I’ll have to do better trying to suss out their vibe. The girls I’ve been able to bring back to mines and successfully escalate on generally just went with the flow. So I think that’ll be something I should look out for here on out.

Eh, it's tough man so don't be so hard on yourself. You made a bunch of mistakes with the 26 year old girl but this is to be expected. Even if you have experience, you'll still not seal the deal with 99% of the girls you interact with.

My only advice is to at least internalize that it will be easier for you to find an LTR if you know you can sleep with a bunch of girls. So, first experience abundance (whatever this means for you) see what type of girls you REALLY like, and then worry about finding LTR.

Rejoice mate, you're super young and have all the time in the world. I wish I was as active as you when I was your age.

 

[Momentum]

Yeah. Hours on the phone is overinvesting in someone who 1) hasn't invested anything in you and 2) you dont even know if you have chemistry with. I'll exchange a few short voice messages and videos if they want to know if I'm real. But I don't really do phone calls anymore.

Rare exception if its longer distance (I may do a 15min call to see if its worth the drive). But in 99% of cases, just go on the date ASAP within 1-3 days of matching.

If they need to be coaxed with long phone calls or texting for weeks into going on the date, then they're probably feeling so-so or on the fence about you. And you don't want that. You want screen-in women who are super excited to see you.

 

[G.N]

This was your first mistake imo.

you're absolutely right, I wanted to only keep it 10 or so minutes but I guess I got side tracked.

As a principle, even if I'm doing nothing, I reject invitations to call/video chat.

I did this once by just not ignoring the text before the date we already confirmed. Texted her before the date I was otw and that I couldn't do it cuz I was busy. Worked fine.

Eh, it's tough man so don't be so hard on yourself. You made a bunch of mistakes with the 26 year old girl but this is to be expected. Even if you have experience, you'll still not seal the deal with 99% of the girls you interact with.

My only advice is to at least internalize that it will be easier for you to find an LTR if you know you can sleep with a bunch of girls. So, first experience abundance (whatever this means for you) see what type of girls you REALLY like, and then worry about finding LTR.

Rejoice mate, you're super young and have all the time in the world. I wish I was as active as you when I was your age

Yeah you're right, thanks man. I also am having a lot of dates that are already tough to close as it is since they only set aside like an hour. From what I see the more experienced guys can have these girls back at theirs within 20-30 minutes. Places close up shop super early where I am at so maybe I can avoid this if I find some places that close later.

Cultivating abundance is one of my current objectives since I have a tendency to get hung up on one girl at times. Also I figure it helps me keep it pushing. Having HingeX helps with this too.

Yeah. Hours on the phone is overinvesting in someone who 1) hasn't invested anything in you and 2) you dont even know if you have chemistry with. I'll exchange a few short voice messages and videos if they want to know if I'm real. But I don't really do phone calls anymore.

Rare exception if its longer distance (I may do a 15min call to see if its worth the drive). But in 99% of cases, just go on the date ASAP within 1-3 days of matching.

If they need to be coaxed with long phone calls or texting for weeks into going on the date, then they're probably feeling so-so or on the fence about you. And you don't want that. You want screen-in women who are super excited to see you.

I called her out on this before I blocked her, that I feel like I was investing more into her than she was into me. She was tap dancing around the topic which annoyed the shit out of me. Maybe it was an age thing but I hate how she was constantly going on about concerns and shit. Like stfu just chill out.

But your last point I agree, I have dealt with some girls who say they wanna text more before going on the date I just don't bother with them further.

 

[G.N]

Basic Brunette:


I matched with before Spring Break so I had to schedule the date way in advance. I had to send her a followup text when planning the date though cuz she said she gets sidetracked easily. She was hella fucking cute, might be my best one from the apps. The me from last year would be jumping for joy, practicing on all those mediocre brown girls finally got me somewhere. But the tradeoff was that the flake chance in my head was kind of high so I tried not to invest too much. Three other dates I scheduled this week went radio silent on me. She showed up like 15 mins late cuz of traffic.


Anyway though she shows up, she’s just as cute as her photos (pic below). She’s probably as basic as it gets with brunettes but she has grey eyes and a great body. Id say she's on the level of that blonde girl who was a nursing student I went on a date w/ a couple weeks back. I give her a hug when I greet her. I do pay for our drinks since I do hope I can take her back to mines. She is really sweet, the coffee shop we went to just got new couches so we sit on those.


We made some small talk, then kinda started trying to get to know each other. She told me she is feeling a little nervous since she has not been on a date in a while, so I try to make her feel more comfortable. She’s not super yappy or anything but its good conversation which I am not entirely carrying though suddenly in the convo she asks me if I am neurodivergent. I just answered honestly with a yes, and asked her why she thinks that. She said that generally she has an easier time interacting with ND people because she has ADHD which she takes meds for and I said yeah I also have it but never took meds. Also her last boyfriend was neurotypical and she said it wasn’t that fun of a relationship. We bonded over those quirks which was nice. She’s started to get into salsa and bachata so I seeded us dancing together although for some reason I lost my words when trying to future project, cuz I listened to some strategy like that or similar from a GLL recording, which had me embarassed so I kinda just moved the convo in another direction. I was still breaking the touch barrier but her body language did give off mildly nervous vibes, so instead of arm around I just touched her thigh and accessories.


But yeah overall great personality, coffee shop closed early though so we had to leave. I decided to take her around the metro area. We had a nice little walk, and I didn’t tell her we were going to mines I just led her there. I asked if she wanted to come back to mines and have a drink/watch a movie. She didn’t know where it was she did say earlier at the coffee shop she had some family coming over (she lives with her parents) and that they were gonna be there soon, so unfortunately I couldn’t take her back to mines. She didn’t know where my place was so I don’t think it was an excuse she had on speed dial. I walked her back to her car and decided to try something new. I told her to hold out her hand and I took it, spun her around and would hug her goodbye. Its kind of a derivative of a salsa move and i don’t think she entirely got what I was trying to do. But we both got a good laugh out of it and still hugged. She did say just text her if I wanted us to meet up again and she called me cute so that was nice. I did text her the day after and she did text back. I currently proposed the second date but no response. For some reason though I did ask earlier in a voice recording and she didn’t say anything, but responded to the written part of my text. Idk if its her ADHD acting up or what. I proposed the second date idea more concretely now but no response. I am more persistent here though because she’s super attractive so I will give another followup a day from now and if nothing I will just leave it be.


→Tall Black Hair girl:


Another girl I matched with before Spring Break so I had to schedule the date way in advance, so I had to keep up conversation during break which was a pain. But I had a good feeling cuz she sounded cutesy over text (like adding too many vowels to the end of her texts and asking me how my day was every so often). She did unmatch me during break but supposedly it was by accident. We had to back and forth a lot about the date plans cuz she only just a few days before the date decides to let me know the location is too far. I had no other dates planned so I figured I would have to concede more. I decided lets meet at one of the ASU campuses accessible to me for free by the shuttle, do a little evening walk date, and then take the bus back to my place to have a drink.


Anyway date comes around I show up to campus and she shows up a bit later. She pulled up in a black dress with accessories. Cute face, blue eyes, big tits and ass, but also she was slightly chubby but it wasn’t too big a deal.


I can’t lie this date was absolute ass. She was super dry conversationally and I had to carry most of it. I tried to break the touch barrier immediately by going to a bench and putting my arm around her. I asked her about her interests and she said she was into photography but thats it. I asked if she could show me some of her pics and when she opens her phone there is literally a picture of her ex kissing her. Im like “who’s that” and she says that its her ex. She gave excuses saying she doesn’t usually delete stuff. Weird, I pretend to be okay with this cuz really I just want to fuck her. I have been so insanely horny all day that I had a tough time focusing in lab earlier. She had “Short term relationship” in her bio. If it was “Long term”, I would have ended the date right then and there. You should absolutely not enter the dating scene again if you are gonna do some shit like that


Walk around some more, I feel like I am interviewing her which I know is bad. It always feels this way when the chemistry is shit, but I am trying to get something going here. At some point I propose going back to mines. It is a small campus so there is only so much to walk around. It is very pretty though. She and I had way too much back and forth and ultimately I failed to game her. I tried challenging her beliefs about “stranger danger” a bit without tryna be like “I promise I won’t hurt you” type beta energy. I tried instead for going to hers but she said her landlord doesn’t allow it, try to game her again into breaking that rule, doesn’t work.


I think “okay, maybe I just need to build more comfort” before I try again. We talk more, I try to find out more about what she is looking for and she says nothing too serious. I found out she only broke up with her ex 1 month ago, which is kinda insane to me since if I broke up w/ someone I’d probably need a few months to emotionally heal. This woman is fucking weird. I did try physically escalating on an isolated bench but she shut me down, saying some more shit about how she doesn’t like guys getting touchy too fast which I push back on and give my side. At this point this date is a waste of both of our time, and I checked the clock the bus will be coming soon so we just end the date. I give her a hug before she leaves in the uber.


I was pretty pissed on my way home, I should have ended this sooner but I am happy I spent no money on her. This chick is not worth it.

 

[pancakemouse]

→Tall Black Hair girl:

You failed to properly call her out the entire time. I'm screaming this internally while reading it. Fuck this girl, CALL HER OUT. Don't just keep bumbling on the date expecting things to improve. Every time she does something you don't like, you call her out.

 

[Zug]

. I found out she only broke up with her ex 1 month ago, which is kinda insane to me since if I broke up w/ someone I’d probably need a few months to emotionally heal.

That's you though. I'd be ready in under a month too. Be careful with thinking everyone different from you is flawed.

I agree with pancake. I do like getting to physical touch soon, but you can go to fast, and when you do they go defensive for the rest of the date. At last get past initial small talk, and one spike/investment loop first. You're following an implicit 'yes' at that point which helps prevent people going defensive.

 

[G.N]

You failed to properly call her out the entire time. I'm screaming this internally while reading it. Fuck this girl, CALL HER OUT. Don't just keep bumbling on the date expecting things to improve. Every time she does something you don't like, you call her out.

I did fail for sure, and I really wanted to. Literally the only reason she was getting away with this shit from my side is cuz I found her attractive. Based on past experiences I wouldn't put up with this if she wasn't all that. My thought process was that antagonizing her would make it harder for me to get laid, and now in a more clear state I understand that calling out isn't necessarily antagonistic. Heck maybe calling her out would have increased my chances.

Note to self don't let shit slide just cuz I think she's cute.

That's you though. I'd be ready in under a month too. Be careful with thinking everyone different from you is flawed.

I agree with pancake. I do like getting to physical touch soon, but you can go to fast, and when you do they go defensive for the rest of the date. At last get past initial small talk, and one spike/investment loop first. You're following an implicit 'yes' at that point which helps prevent people going defensive.

Yeah guess that is just me.

And thats what happened, I got touchy too fast as a means of screening but she did go more defensive rest of the date. But this was a good experiment to learn that.

 

[zekler]

You failed to properly call her out the entire time. I'm screaming this internally while reading it. Fuck this girl, CALL HER OUT. Don't just keep bumbling on the date expecting things to improve. Every time she does something you don't like, you call her out.

Every time? I naturally do this on dates because I’m disagreeable in 1 on 1 interactions but at times it almost feels like I’m being too much of an asshole and judgmental and I’ve heard from others to not judge girls. Typically I do lean to the side of being too much of a dick rather than not enough.