Hannan’s Log | GLL’s Lone Club Program

100% agree with Squilliam. I would also add something related to the meeting itself:

The frame you are going to have for it, is going to have a big influence on the frame she will give to the whole situation. In other words, her interpretation of the event is still probably flexible and will be influenced by how you will behave and look in front of her.

Try not to transform it into a meeting with a person who took your family hostage. Therefore not panicking (as it seems you are doing right now), being chill, polite and, more importantly, genuinely sorry. Leave your fear at home.

Listen her carefully without interrupting and make sure you understand her reasons.

You can definitely explain about the reasons that pushed you toward that behavior, as long as you add that you understand that they are not justification and you understand your faults. Don't push any blame on her and also, if I were you, I wouldn't use words related to substances or illicit behaviors. We don't know if they are going to record what you say, so better safe than sorry. Make things understandable for her without using very explicit words. Things like "I was feeling very bad due to what we ate and drunk" or something on that line.

Try to look like a kid who stole a candy and it's very embarrassed about it, i.e. to look harmless. Also I woudn't communicate your great fear of getting fired unless she brings it up.

Super sorry + very harmless + understanding her & be willing to improve.
 
I’m back in college after taking a break to do a internship over the summer and fall.

I’m in a men’s org and had a date party.

I cold approached 10-15 women, got 4 numbers and set up 2 dates.

They both ended up flaking.

Now I feel like a loser.

I was texting them and I was feeling so good and confident about myself but then one said she couldn’t come and one stopped responding.

I had one for a lunch date on Friday, and one as date party date later in the night.

Now I didn’t get to go to lunch or my date party.

They both flaked.

I feel very bad and don’t know why I got flaked on.

This was my first time cold approaching girls and trying to set up dates.

I finished the AA program a while ago and since I was back in college I started approaching some girls.

I go up to them ask them for their name, and tell them I thought they were cute and I want to take them out on a date.

Sometimes I have a longer convo but not past a few minutes, that may be why I am got flakes.

I am also wondering if it’s my text messages.

I will attach my messages and I hope y’all can tell me if it’s that.


Also I went to clubs yesterday met a old friend group and one of the girls was clearly into me.

She was touchy. I was touchy but never made a full move, I always kept in the realm of plausible deniability. Or at least I think.

One of our friends ask if I was flirting with her.
And I told him not really.

But I wanted to. I was scared of the consequences.

I also find it a hard to time approach people if people I know are nearby.

Like I’m afraid of people I know, but in front of strangers I’m fine.

I really wish I made a move. So advice on this would be so helpful.

I feel so jealous in the clubs I see these hot girls getting with guys. I feel so bad.

I need help tbh.

I started CrossFit to get a better body so let’s see if that helps.

But as of right now I kind of feel hopeless.

These flakes and seeing hot girls with other guys I knew from campus (I talk to a shit ton of people tbh, I can socialize, but deeper convos, and maintaining friends is hard for me) made so so fucking jealous and feel bad.

Okay so I’ll attach the two messages of the girls I texted and got flaked by. Please let me tips!

Girl 1: meghana

Girl 2: priya who flaked the party

Pictures are ordered down to up (view the bottom most picture first and work your way up)
 
So I’ve already done GLL’s approach anxiety program, and can approach girls on campus and call them cute.

I’m gonna keep approaching women on campus but try to have longer conversations and see how that works. Currently I’ve been just having short ones, that’s just “ur cute” name, “ I wanna take you out on a date” number if they’re willing.

I was so used to approaching as drills that I kept it short.

I realized that they are more prone to flake if I don’t build more up. Correct me if I’m wrong.

So I’ll keep approaching, but modify a little bit.

Another thing.

I finally turned 21 last month, and have started to go out to bars/clubs

I realized I have a new problem, going out alone.
I went alone for 1-2 days and found it kinda hard.

1st day I met friends already at the bar, (I know tons of people on campus) and just hung with them.

The group was me and a gay guy and 4 girls,

One of the girls was hitting, even the gay guy mentioned that I was flirting with her.

I told him I wasn’t, but I was kinda reciprocating, but I didn’t take control and escalate more. I could have, I didn’t. I was just scared. I think because I didn’t want people knowing I hit on her (our mutuals).

Lol I thought the Approach anxiety program would take away all fear. But no. I am still scared of sexual stuff maybe because I’ve only fucked one girl and got head from 2.

The next morning I jerked off alot, beating myself over not fucking her and taking the shot.
It was fun tho.

2nd day I met a lot of people too, talked to people. Met friends that I knew previously. And had a lot of fun. I think it was because before getting to the club/bar street I asked randoms getting there a question of the week. Talked to a few women but not enough and didn’t hit on them hard.

I might do a question of the week every time I go, and just have fun with that.

Though both days I didn’t pull, maybe because I was too sacred to hit on girls

I then for the third day started to use GLL’s guide on how to go out to club/bar ALONE.

It was easy to do, but trying to hold eye contact with a girl for 3 secs was hard, bc they would simply not hold it.

Anyways I also went to country bar and danced with girls. But I sucked and would tell the girl that before I started. And I think that just messed with my head. Next time I’ll tell them I’m new to this, keeping it honest but not being self-deprecating is the move.


After that I did the first day of the program and another bar/club. But then I started having really bad time. Like I didn’t hit on any women. Or even talk to that many people.

It was the worst out of all three days, idk why.

The next day I jerked off so much, and didn’t get out of bed till like 5pm.

Which is today.

Next time I will try to do the day and hit on women.

I plan on going clubbing 3 times a week, until I finish the program.

I don’t know if GLL’s Lone club program is worth it.

I think I could approach women now, but I’m not sure. I barely started to approach women for real also. I finished the aa program and stopped for few months. And starting back up again now.

GLL said not to skip stuff but I feel as though I can skip the first week.

I HOPE SOMEONE REALLY ANSWERS THIS, but should I skip ahead?
 
Good work G, and I will answer your questions, but first

Take a step towards me

Can you upload an avatar of yourself? You can blur the face if you want. But I have to see you, as a human, on that avatar.

Thanks,
-Ravi
 
I Weigh around 200 pounds at 6ft .

Doing CrossFit right now to lose weight.

I can send people pictures of my face privately but kind of weary to show people who haven’t posted at kyil at all and could try to extort me bc of my face tbh. (That’s not you btw)
 
I’m sure you’ll be fine skipping the beginning portion of the AA program. Honestly you can get away without doing some of the more silly drills like the banana phone, flexing like a beach dude, or the who is your daddy drill. Although I do look back on those fondly I really don’t think they were necessary.

You can probably go from compliments > “I like your style, you look cute” > “you’re cute” > “you’re cute, I’m X” > “you’re cute, im X *handshake*” > real approaches…quickly. You’ve done the program before so things will come back quickly as opposed to starting from 0.

As for night game…if you can daygame then you should be able to nightgame better than the average dude. Maybe there will be a period of getting over the intimidation factor of night game. Also what happened to me is that the AA program programmed me to have quick interactions and full blown conversations were a bit nerve wracking. However that’ll quickly go away as soon you have more.

It’s a process. You’ll be great at opening women, find out your conversations are shitty because you run out of things to say. Or worse the set is going well and you’re like “oh shit what now?”. Or you’ll want to eject on the set and end up self-rejecting. Or you start getting more conversations, but they’re platonic and you end up getting lots of “nice to meet you! Bye!”. Just like the AA program do things that stretch your comfort zone with whatever sticking point you have.
 
hannangame said:
I HOPE SOMEONE REALLY ANSWERS THIS, but should I skip ahead?
Click to expand...
IMO don't do the AA program if you are able to approach.

I never did the AA program. I did maybe one day of drills. And I've done some asking for directions as a warmup.

I found personally after doing ~200 approaches, my AA was permanently reduced, even when I stopped for months.

Don't get me wrong, I still don't think approaching is easy, but I don't think the AA program is necessary, especially if you're already capable of approaching.

Another reason I don't like the AA program is, I feel like you are just exposing yourself to the same level of risk for no reward. The girls who would give you bad reactions from a normal approach will probably more or less react the same way if you ask them some stupid question.
 
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