Hosting Lord Rey, Holden and wave
During August and September I have had the pleasure of hosting
@Lord Rey ,
@Holden and
@wave. It was great spending time with people from the forums, meeting some of the people who I have read so much about.
They have all posted short reviews of the city in this thread and I hope this gives you as a reader perspective on what to expect of the city and who I am as a person.
My perspective on this project has shifted over time and meeting these guys has been part of it. Having guys visit for like a week is a great process for vetting guys who are interested in trying out the project down the line, for example who are interested to move in for a test period of three months. Visiting for a week is a sensible duration to get to know each other and finding the baseline of trust for both sides that is needed for a commitment of the size of moving in together, even if it’s just for three month.
Wave had the very important idea that I can simply start small, move in with one or two people and have an extra room, then invite people to visit until more people want to move in and then finding a bigger place. It doesn’t have to start of with an entire house. That makes starting soon much easier. Thanks for that input.
My friend who wants to start the project with me (who isn’t into game and all that btw, he is just a great guy committed to improving is life), recently started working for a new company in his city. The company also has a branch in Freiburg. It’s up to him which branch to work at and he might move to Freiburg early next year and we’ll start looking for apartments.
Reflection on the time with the men from the forum
As for the blast of a time that I have had with Lord Rey, Holden and wave visiting me, let me say this: It really showed me what’s possible with community.
They came in with different experience levels. Lord Rey had never really cold approached outside some bootcamp. He came in and had his first cold approach date in Freiburg even though he was just here for a long weekend.
Holden had approached a bit but not much. He needs to really push himself to approach on his own. Together, after the first few approaches of taking turns and me pushing him a little, he could do it just fine and he did more approaches than ever before. What was clearly visible for both of us that on the days where I had to work and couldn’t spend time with him, he barely approached. Anxieties that we all have around things we want to grow on creep on much more strongly when we are on our own. Being in community with other men who push themselves creates a dynamic that is truly amazing. Everything is easier and more fun.
Wave was the most experienced of my three guests. He was a machine at approaching, we were just taking turns, at times struggling to re-meet because we were doing simultaneous sets and the other already being in the next when we were trying to reunite. It was simply a blast. I would greatly appreciate living together with such an energetic and positive person. In nightgame and duo-sets we could just chill and have a good time. Life is better when you’re not alone. I believe brotherhood and community are uplifting and beneficial for your happiness not just in your ability to achieve goals. Humans are social animals and being together is fruitful for our happiness on a very baseline level.
But also in terms of results, working on goals together is huge. I saw this effect on myself during this time in the following way:
Holden and Lord Rey got laid from online game, wave was less lucky since he built more on day game. Relying on day game can be difficult for visiting cities because numbers from arranged dates have a built-up and you can't passport in ahead of time like with online dateing. Sometimes you can’t get girls out right away but after one or two weeks, so you lose opportunities as a visitor. But I was there the whole time so I could experience what putting out action in community can lead to. I got laid a lot.
A LOT. As the most outrageous example, in a time-span that overlapped with wave visiting, I got 5 new lays in a matter of 6 days. You didn’t hear me wrong. 5 in 6 days. Some were from approaches with him, some from approaches with the other guys before. I am at 44 lifetime lays currently, so 5 additional lays is actually still a big deal.
Why you should join this project
I’m not here saying join this project to get laid. Not at all.
This isn’t a pickup house. Sure, lots of young men have some sort of goal related to getting laid as one of their major goals. So naturally it will be part of it and you will get laid more and with more ease. The reason why I approached with all three guests is that they all wanted to get better at that and benefit from my experience. It’s also a great way to discover different parts of the city while walking around and having time to casually talk and get to know each other.
So don’t join this project to get laid.
Instead, join this project if you can see the value of living in community.
Join it if you are aware of the detrimental effect that living on your own and being lonely for a major share of your time has on your happiness, your social skills and your willingness and ability to achieve your goals.
You don’t need to walk your journey alone. Come join us and be part of building this house of brothers.
